Computer Virus

[Laura]

Another one making the email rounds...



The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of
mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little
purple hearts to appear on screen.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to keep counting and re-counting

The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails
everyone about what it did

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be
back

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly
expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care

The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy,
then discards it through Windows.

 

[hungrig]

The FBI virus - makes your computer explode

New Age - makes your computer fuzzy, kills the processor eventually..

The Grey's foreign virus - Probes your activity's and virtual screen/desktop to the mother ship yahweh.

Telllievision virus - streams commercial/subliminals through your browser. Gives alpha. beta suggestions through the strobe screen-

The Con virus - Makes your computer a monkey, named bush.

The chicken virus - your computer will sound weird, load eggs and cross the road.

 

[Renaissance]

Britney Spears Virus: Crashes your computer, then oops, does it again

William Kristol Virus: Causes annoying pop-up warnings about non-existent threats

Fox News Virus: Interferes with data reception

The Dick Cheney Virus: locates your residence, then he comes to your house and shoots you in the face.

The Christian Virus: False security system, which promises to save your hard drive if you accept it as the one and only savior

The Evangelical Virus: Leaves no data left behind

 

[GRiM]

Gurdjieff Virus: tries to open all ports, might if successful install soul_alpha.exe, computer then use free will to reboot in a higher state.

Trilobite Virus: Still gets transmitted by binary IBM punch-cards

 

[Lee.T]

Bin Laden Virus: Makes unexpected video's when least expected, luckily this one can be removed by going to /Program Files/CIA/Randomvideo generator/Binladen.exe

Israel Virus: Believes it the chosen virus, causes mayhem when running under the Zionism operating systems. Removing is very difficult as it launches it antisemitism's-virus defense system.

Gordon Brown Virus: Informs you its removing all deadly clusters, but is actually installing more deadly clusters called "smart clusters"