Confession

[Menna]

Yes obyvatel I agree in my short journey thus far I have realized that first learning about the practical information such as what’s in the diet, science and psychology threads comes first a foremost. Learning about this information and then ironing yourself out after you have been conditioned to think a certain way and treated a certain way all in the efforts to be functioning correctly takes decades or more. Heck waking up to realize that you have been conditioned and aren’t free before any work takes place can take lifetimes. In my experience the esoteric information such as crystallization and so forth like you have said rarely happens and isn’t as important as the practical information.

 

[Vic]

I would say you are much more than a narcissist, Explorer. It's not all you are. Most of us have some narcissism in us. From your last comment it seems you have come a long way from your first post in this thread.

No, you're all right. Quick Google of right man syndrome seems to fit me nicely.

I'm a narcissist, aren't I?

 

[Menna]

Explorer its funny you asked "Aren't I"... If you are familiar with G's work he says that we have many I's. So to answer your question YES!...One of your I's in a narcissist but you have many other I's the aim is to get rid of the I's you don't want and form one I.

 

[Explorer]

Explorer its funny you asked "Aren't I"... If you are familiar with G's work he says that we have many I's. So to answer your question YES!...One of your I's in a narcissist but you have many other I's the aim is to get rid of the I's you don't want and form one I.

Yeah, I've got a loose grasp on the Fourth Way. Only thing is I don't feel ready to begin practicing it. Is there any point in me being here?

 

[Carl]

No, you're all right. Quick Google of right man syndrome seems to fit me nicely.

I'm a narcissist, aren't I?

Yeah. You have to see it to do anything about it, and seeing it is always horrible, ugly, and for some unbearable. It sounds like you may have just taken that first step.

 

[Menna]

If you are on this forum and interacting and reading the other threads in The Work section you are practicing...Don't kid yourself in one way or another it has begun and to answer the last question I don't know if there is any point in you being here. For me there is a point because I know what direction I want my life to go I know what I want to grow into and it involved the work and becoming a better human being by cleaning and correcting my thinking and behaviors. Its not right to be on this forum and its not wrong to be on this forum its what you want to do. I think you should be asked that question not be the one asking it.

Explorer... Is there any point in you being here?

 

[Gimpy]

Explorer its funny you asked "Aren't I"... If you are familiar with G's work he says that we have many I's. So to answer your question YES!...One of your I's in a narcissist but you have many other I's the aim is to get rid of the I's you don't want and form one I.

Yeah, I've got a loose grasp on the Fourth Way. Only thing is I don't feel ready to begin practicing it. Is there any point in me being here?

That's up to you. ;)

What brought you back?

 

[Explorer]

If you are on this forum and interacting and reading the other threads in The Work section you are practicing...Don't kid yourself in one way or another it has begun and to answer the last question I don't know if there is any point in you being here. For me there is a point because I know what direction I want my life to go I know what I want to grow into and it involved the work and becoming a better human being by cleaning and correcting my thinking and behaviors. Its not right to be on this forum and its not wrong to be on this forum its what you want to do. I think you should be asked that question not be the one asking it.

Explorer... Is there any point in you being here?

Yeah, I have potential to be something better. I've seen it and experienced it, but its fleeting. I don't like the way my machine runs. In the brief moments I have given up self-importance everything seem easier.

No, you're all right. Quick Google of right man syndrome seems to fit me nicely.

I'm a narcissist, aren't I?

Yeah. You have to see it to do anything about it, and seeing it is always horrible, ugly, and for some unbearable. It sounds like you may have just taken that first step.

I experienced it in a dream a month ago. It was horrible. A collection of illusions spinning around a person to cloak how evil and empty he was.

The illusions were things I tell myself everyday, and I couldn't face the man beneath the lies.

Explorer its funny you asked "Aren't I"... If you are familiar with G's work he says that we have many I's. So to answer your question YES!...One of your I's in a narcissist but you have many other I's the aim is to get rid of the I's you don't want and form one I.

Yeah, I've got a loose grasp on the Fourth Way. Only thing is I don't feel ready to begin practicing it. Is there any point in me being here?

That's up to you. ;)

What brought you back?

I realized I couldn't break free of the programs that caused my addiction without the material and support offered here. I also knew that doing this was only the tip of the ice-berg, and that there would be far more to deal with later on. I also figured I could help out other people in my position.

Also, selfishness. If I want to get out alive, this is the place to be.

 

[Tigersoap]

Yeah, I've got a loose grasp on the Fourth Way. Only thing is I don't feel ready to begin practicing it. Is there any point in me being here?

I don't think anyone can answer this question for you.
It's really up to you to make the steps toward knowing yourself through the help of the network here.
If haven't read the Narcissism "Big Five" recommanded books maybe now would be a good start ?

 

[Oxajil]

Re: Confession

You're damn straight I was angry when my guide wasn't received the way I expected it to be. I've got a program that mistakes everything as an attack, and I spent a lot of time on it.

Fwiw, Explorer, I also found your reply to BrightLight coming off as aggressive. Perhaps it is the program that you mentioned? Maybe reading the Big Five as mentioned by Tigersoap can help you gain some understanding of where this anger program may be coming from. It will also give you information of where your narcissistic tendencies may be coming from and how to deal with them.

Also, even though BrightLight's post may come off to you as a bit harsh, I think it's also important to remember that how other people see us is valuable information. So in a sense, BrightLight was helping you out. And if you really tried to put yourself in her shoes and tried to see your contribution/posts so far on the forum, from an outsider's point of view, you could've realized that she may have a point there. And then you could've for example followed up on her suggestion to reread the advice that was given to you in the past. You have to realize that we really can't think with the way we think, so having other people's input can be very important if we want to learn to have some kind of grip on some of our programs, and on our own way of thinking.

You mentioned you have a direction in your life right now, and I think that's great. But it is also important to be able to navigate externally considerate through our lives when it comes to interacting with other people (are you familiar with the term 'obyvatel' as defined by G.?). So that may be an area that you could work on, that is, if you're willing to learn :) And as Salzmann said, true learning doesn't come without paying:

You must pay dearly. For bad payers, lazy people, parasites, no hope. You must pay, pay a lot, and pay immediately, pay in advance. Pay with yourself. By sincere, conscientious, disinterested efforts. The more you are prepared to pay without economizing, without cheating, without any falsification, the more you will receive. And from that time on you will become acquainted with your nature. And you will see all the tricks, all the dishonesties that your nature resorts to in order to avoid paying hard cash. Because you have to pay with your ready-made theories, with your rooted convictions, with your prejudices, your conventions, your “I like” and “I don’t like.” Without bargaining, honestly, without pretending. Trying “sincerely” to see as you offer your counterfeit money.

So, maybe, if you're willing, you could at least try to sincerely consider what has been pointed out to you.

Hope this helps (and makes sense).

 

[Laura]

You know, I've said it before, but here goes again: addictive behaviors can very often stem from a physiological feeling that is created when our bodies are not nourished. Sometimes, if you take care of dietary issues, leaky gut, digestion and sleep, the other cravings just go away. So maybe you should just concentrate on that and see what happens?

 

[Muxel]

I was rather sorry to see Timey go, so I'm happy to find out that you're here. (And it shows me that I haven't been paying attention...)

Everything that happened, has happened. Forge ahead and pursue your aims. All in your own time.

 

[darksai]

You know, I've said it before, but here goes again: addictive behaviors can very often stem from a physiological feeling that is created when our bodies are not nourished. Sometimes, if you take care of dietary issues, leaky gut, digestion and sleep, the other cravings just go away. So maybe you should just concentrate on that and see what happens?

I agree, it's very difficult to know whether a psychological issue is actually rooted in the psyche (and therefore can be dealt with psychologically) or if it's a "bottom-up" process being fed and triggered mainly from the body, which can be short-term (e.g what you've eaten in the past month) or long-term (build-up of short-term and/or trauma). I personally made more progress on habits, mood and attitude in the last 5-6 months since I started making dietary changes than the 2 years prior when I first started reading material on Cass, SotT and the forum.

 

[luke wilson]

Explorer, you are 19 which means you are up against your youthful exuberance on top of everything else. Don't forget youth nowadays is a disaster zone given how we are brought up, the junk food, youth culture which is all about gratifying impulses, low attention spans, bad media consumption, quick to react, slow to think etc. You need to find a productive way to burn your energy and bring your mind and body under control. I see it as a bit of an untamed stallion.

Anyways, persevere, be sincere, surround yourself with the right people, in the right sort of environments, and if you can't totally work on yourself, time will do some of the lifting for you i.e. as you get older and experience more and more of the world you'll hopefully grow and develop.

 

[Explorer]

Explorer, you are 19 which means you are up against your youthful exuberance on top of everything else. Don't forget youth nowadays is a disaster zone given how we are brought up, the junk food, youth culture which is all about gratifying impulses, low attention spans, bad media consumption, quick to react, slow to think etc. You need to find a productive way to burn your energy and bring your mind and body under control. I see it as a bit of an untamed stallion.

Anyways, persevere, be sincere, surround yourself with the right people, in the right sort of environments, and if you can't totally work on yourself, time will do some of the lifting for you i.e. as you get older and experience more and more of the world you'll hopefully grow and develop.

Yeah, you're right. University should be a useful experience, and EE will help me keep on top of things. I'm probably too young to begin the Fourth Way, but that doesn't mean I can't work on myself by doing what Laura suggested; I can remember not that long ago I thought I was legitimately going crazy, and it turns out I just wasn't getting enough sleep and that my home environment isn't 100% healthy. I can also read to learn more about myself and hopefully apply that knowledge.

Oh, and thanks, Muxel. :)

Sorry Brightlight, you were right. The reason I thought I had made so much progress was because I had presented myself as someone else and actually began to forget about what had happened in the past. Writing that down, it actually seems incredibly messed up. Like splitting? Anyway, I threw your mirror back in your face because it wasn't what I wanted to hear.