Hello all,
My post is perhaps more appropriate for the Swamp, but I do have a relevant question related to my crystals at the end so please bear with me.
So I've been a long time lurker (20+ years) and perpetual "fence sitter." I've learned a lot from the works of Laura and the team, the forum, and the C's; but I've never truly applied any of the knowledge. I've attempted to, but usually fall back asleep and dream that I'm progressing only to be shocked awake by world events (eg. COVID, Trump's assassination attempt, Charlie Kirk, war in Iran) or interpersonal dynamics without having made any real changes. I wake up every time to find I'm still on this damn fence.
Recently, with the most recent shock, I was ruminating on my fence sitting. It's a cycle that's repeated countless times - fall asleep, wake up in the fence. I came to understand that this is how it's going to be for me because I've heard the call. There is no more permanent slumber for me. I also came to realize that I hadn't ever made a choice, and if I ever wanted off the fence I had to intentionally choose which side to climb down. And I can feel the time to make the choice running out, like an internal pressure.
So I weighed the paths before me. STS. This path would be insanely difficult for me. I can't even kill a fish without feeling guilty when I go fishing, so reaching the depths of selfishness and depravity needed to progress down that road seems insurmountable. Plus it felt like I would be stabbing myself in the back were I to attempt it, but I did give the STS path its due in consideration.
So STS is out, what else? I can remain on the fence. This would by far be the easiest path. Just continue sleepwalking and unintentionally suffering until the lights go out. We all know the eventual fate of fence sitters, and there's no unhearing the call. It seems like such a waste. I have to at least try.
The obvious choice is to embark down the STO path. It will be difficult, but because it's more in line with my nature, not nearly as difficult as STS. So I made an intentional choice to align with STO and allow the light of the universe to shine through me.
My first course of action to "walk the talk" was to fix my diet. I'm now in my second week of keto. I know, "2 weeks, big deal. " But it is a big deal for me. First, it's the longest I've actually stuck to this diet and second, remarkable things are already happening.
My depression and constant irritability are alleviating. I've also had a toenail fungus on my big toe since I was 13 years old, something I've always suspected was a spirit attachment as it coincided with puberty and my discovery of porn and subsequent porn addiction. I've tried everything to get rid of the fungus short of taking the oral medication that damages the liver. Since I made my intentional choice, urges to watch porn have been quite easy to resist. Last week the toenail fungus came off revealing a healthy nail growing in. It appears to have healed spontaneously, something most medical professionals would say isn't possible.
Now, perhaps most remarkable is what happened to my dream stone. I ordered my crystals back in 2016 or 2017 and still have all 4. Admittedly, I can't remember the last time I recited to them, but I still keep my water crystal in my water bottle and my dream stone in my pillowcase. My dream stone was labradorite I believe and looked similar to these:
The whole time I had the stone it remained unchanged. Tonight I changed my pillowcase and here is how it looks now:
So, with some context explained, is this normal for a dream stone? I had no memorable dreams associated with this change. Is this a good sign or bad sign? Is it representative of "transformation?" Is that a function of a dream stone? Is that stone "used up" now? Should I continue using it or get a new one?
Thank you all for reading my post of you made it this far and if you're able to answer.
