If it was a demon, that would make sense, because demons are supposed to only be able to affect us using illusions and prestiges and playing with our emotions. But what demon in particular? And how to protect oneself against it? And why did it come to me?
Hi PaleFace,
As
@Color mentioned, perhaps you could simply consider yourself sensitive.
Which is no biggie, this sort of stuff happens to lots of people and has done for a long time. Have you read any of John Keel's excellent books?
And apologies for throwing another C's quote at you but even my lovely, salt of the earth, non-believing partner has experienced a visit from one of these fellas;
(Galatea) ... I was lying in bed about to fall asleep, and all of a sudden as clear as day I saw a black creature with bright red eyes floating looking in through the window of the Lodge. It was late at night, and I was like, "Oh, that's creepy... SNORE!"
A: The veil is thinning.
Q: (Andromeda) When was that?
(Galatea) It was weeks and weeks ago. But there was also the incident where Athena was there, and that was the night I got spooked by something howling that I thought I heard. I came inside and then the dogs starting barking at something and ran in the direction that I came from. So, I don't know if that was just a creature in the field, or something else. What was it that the dogs were barking at that night?
A: 4th density harbinger.
Q: (Galatea) Good that I hightailed it out of there then!
(Scottie) A harbinger of DOOM?!
(Galatea) A harbinger of what exactly?
A: Thinning veil
Q: (Galatea) Okay, so the veil is thinning so you can see these creatures, but...
(L) I guess they're like window fallers. The veil is thinning, and things get through. They do things. They interact.
(Data) A couple of us have dreamed about bears and we've had injuries or murders in our dreams recently. Is that like reading these energies?
A: Meeting the threats!
Q: (Data) "Meeting the threats" means defending against them in the dreams?
A: Yes
Q: (Data) So, me being a bear and killing a tiger was actually self-defense?
A: Yes
Q: (L) It's a psychic act on another plane.
A: Yes
And as mentioned elsewhere, personally I'm of the opinion that the 'dreamscape' is a pretty cool place to learn how to deal with existential terror, death, mutilation, 'demons' etc. - because after a while you can get the hang of it and learn to attemperate the instinctual responses.
The Inquisitors wrote that Loki or the Devil appears to people in their dreams and often shows them a mutilated or cleft foot as like, a chance to let them recognize him through his disguise. He usually offers them a deal or tries to trick them in some sort of way.
The combination of the above statement, 'Witches', plus
@Color's 'Lilith' comment also happened to press so many of my buttons that ended up having to go looking for one of the many 'posts' that I've never got to around to sharing.
That was, funnily enough, a response originally inspired by a tale that
@goyacobol shared some time ago regarding a symbolically
named young boy with
a deformed foot;
Goya - it is a well done site - easy navigation. And well-maintained - i.e., stuff works! I think you said you were moving to Canada so I hope you will be near a Trans Town. Dehydrating foods is a good tactic too - when they come into season and are plentiful. Easier to store too. Cheers!
cassiopaea.org
Which as things seem to happen (on the forum anyway...) had reminded me of an experience from years before finding the 'C's experiment , that had also come back to slap me in the face upon stumbling across a reference of Laura’s to the work of Michael Topper (or probably more correctly his partner);
…the negative being of higher densities takes on the configuration of a forebodingly lonely presence... It becomes a fiercely mental entity of 5th density power-knowledge, possessing the proverbial basilisk gaze and only turning the stream of its attention "away" from that intensified/contractile self-absorption toward the created worlds in token deference of the need to canalize the funnelling food source…imbibing the "light units"…to maintain that monumental self-absorption and narcissistic self-luminance of the negative Ego-postulate - the Anti-Logos, the Selfness of Consciousness.
A descriptor that was uncannily resonant and therefore a little worrisome - because it was familiar and I could empathise.
Anyway, without going into a massive preamble, the following little bit describes an experience following a period where, much like yourself, I had felt under withering 'attack' for months... always engaged in battle and always in 'the dark' (like fighting Tyson with your eyes closed) also with a very strong fighting for my life vibe;
...then on one unforgettable occasion, mid-struggle, the darkness retreated - just enough.
Amidst the inky blackness, dimly visible and kneeling at my feet, was the 'adversary' - subdued. Head hanging forward in shadow, his long sweat sodden hair gripped tightly in my gauntleted left fist, the entire arm quivering with fatigue. In a trembling right hand, a weighty blade pulled hard against his throat, my knee in his back. All I could think of was rest, I desperately needed to rest - blessed oblivion. Having finally prevailed over my tormentor, the tide had turned and I could could put an end to things.
On the point of collapse and having decided to act, in the moment before sawing backwards a female figure suddenly materialised on the fringe of the darkness, at the limit of vision - rigid as a statue. Whereby perception skewed such that the entire ensemble became apparent, now like watching theatre from a front row seat and surprising in that there was a fourth player - directly behind the 'other‘ me. Another man, heavily armoured and blindfolded, hands crossed loosely on the pommel of a great sword, unsheathed and inverted, its point resting between his feet. Silent, he too immobile as though carved from stone, a notable bookend to the other unnaturally static figure.
And frustratingly try as I might, from the aspect of watcher, there was absolutely nothing discernible to indicate 'life' about the stoic warrior, but I knew he was alive also that he was somehow representative of my younger brother - though for some reason known as 'Vidar'?
The woman in contrast, despite equivalent stillness, oozed vitality. Her faultless figure clad in hugging black, milk white skin offset by long raven hair - heart stoppingly gorgeous. Poised ominously however with a fully drawn longbow - blacker than coal - arrow nocked and aimed directly at the 'me' (struggling with exhaustion) standing over a kneeling figure not long for this world.
Then 'I' shifted again and it was though time dilated.
As 'my' muscle and tendons contracted to draw the blade back and up, ‘I’ was startled to feel a sharp edge sever my windpipe and grind against spine (as though in place of the adversary), simultaneously hearing a stunningly synchronised twang of the bowstring. In the same instant, also 'feeling' the shock of an arrow smash into my chest, straight through the heart, blasting out of shattered ribs. And from the view of observer, witnessing the long shaft of jet sweep effortlessly through the body of the knife wielding figure and slam fatally into the unmoving, stoically sightless 'brother'. Now crumpled.
All three dead in less than a heartbeat - fade to black.
‘I’ then found myself floating in an infinity absent of light, drifting ever so slowly towards a grotesque, vaguely amphibian figure. Squatting and repulsive, intuitively knowing that ‘it’ was the reason all was dark. The baleful gaze fixated on my approach, it's bulging lidless eyes however flickering with fear - aware that I too could 'see' in this place - also that it had been supplanted...As I settled upon his cold stone bench (now mine), a diaphanous figure then moved gracefully into place to my left, taking position behind my 'shoulder' before resolving into the glorious dark archer, now weaponless. Still painfully beautiful but now unholy, radiant and terrifying in her hate.
And like this we waited, for eternities, until eventually the barest of sparks flashed way out towards infinity, drawing my steady gaze. A sophomore attempt swiftly annihilated by the crashing impact of a whipping, prehensile tongue. The novice firefly to my wise toad. Tasting nothing and feeling less, the wait began - again.
Eventually a soft flicker of horror flashed through my simple mind, dim realisation dawning that this bleakest reality was the result of my deciding to ‘kill’ the adversary. Faintly remembering the sensate anomaly whereby the adversary was somehow an aspect of ‘me’ and in killing him, I'd killed not only myself but my brother also and with them had gone the light!
Now, instead of being able to rest, I was never to sleep again - cursed to eternal vigilance, a nightmare creature to be feared and loathed.
And with this insight ‘I’ suddenly snapped back to the '1st person'. Hand full of hair, shivering with exhaustion and about to open my enemies throat. Eyes stinging, burning with both sweat and tears, I reluctantly withdraw the edge, angrily hurling the figure forward such that he sprawls at 'her' feet. Freed to continue the game.
Drained beyond caring, I fainted.
And woke up.
And apologies for the overly melodramatic tone but never having spoken of it, the act of trying to frame the experience in words was actually very cathartic. As well as providing much food for thought.
Something that had also intrigued was that the 'brother' had been presented as
Vidar in that little skit. Particularly because at the time I had no idea that Vidar was even a thing? On learning later of the character of Víðarr and his role in
Ragnarök, then struck as a particularly uncanny coincidence! Because in that narrative ‘the adversary’ in the dream may well have then represented the 'Trickster' -
Loki - and Vidarr famously had a
Thick Shoe. Like
Hugh of Glaston - he of
the Grail Quest.
Which also put a different spin on 'witches' and 'darkness';
78.
34 Questioner: Would the archetype then that has been called the High Priestess, which represents the intuition, be properly the second of the archetypes?
Ra: I am Ra. This is correct. You see here the recapitulation of the beginning knowledge of this Logos; that is, matrix and potentiator. The unconscious is indeed what may be poetically described as High Priestess, for it is the Potentiator of the Mind and as potentiator for the mind is that principle which potentiates all experience.
78.
11 Questioner: Could you elaborate please on the nature and quality of the matrix and the potentiator?
Ra: I am Ra. In the mind complex the matrix may be described as consciousness. It has been called the Magician. It is to be noted that of itself consciousness is unmoved. The potentiator of consciousness is the unconscious. This encompasses a vast realm of potential in the mind.
In the body the matrix may be seen as Balanced Working or Even Functioning. Note that here the matrix is always active with no means of being inactive. The potentiator of the body complex, then, may be called Wisdom for it is only through judgment that the unceasing activities and proclivities of the body complex may be experienced in useful modes.
The Matrix of the Spirit is what you may call the Night of the Soul or Primeval Darkness...
The term 'Potentiation' also eminently descriptive in the context i.e.
"...enhancement of one agent by another so that the combined effect is greater than the sum of the effects of each one alone."
And after much rumination the figure of 'Trickster' then also resolved, to my way of thinking anyway, away from an enemy to be destroyed to that of the 'funny looking old man' in the fable of Jack and the Beanstalk - 'the source' of the magic beans.
Allegorically positing the 'giants'
wife, as then likely symbolic of the potentiator of the Mind, the 'unconscious' to Jack's 'consciousness' and so on.
Hopefully what I'm trying to convey here makes some sense...
Cheers
J