@Color, I figure that if I'm going to force people to read a wall of text about me and my problems, I should at least make it fun and keep it well-paced, as a sign of respect for the reader. Glad you enjoyed the story, I know I felt better after writing it.
I wouldn't say that I can sense anything behind the veil. And I've never had a positive experience with the supernatural, so I absolutely loath and despise these demons or manifestations for what they do.
I want nothing to do with them and I want nothing to do with the supernatural at all. I've thrown myself into reading about this problem because I was sick of not knowing what was going on and I was eager to acquire weapons and techniques to use to defend myself and maybe even others if they should come knocking again.
Do you have a more positive experience with "seeing behind the veil?" Do you mind sharing what you experience/see? I've never actually told anyone about this problem that I've been having because it freaks people out (and rightly so!) and I don't really want to burden them with my horror stories.
I get it, where you're coming from, seeing those abominations leaves a long-lasting effect. I would hate to sound negative but, this IS, in a way, their world. They are everywhere, manipulating and attaching themselves, feeding off humans, all the time. It is not a pretty sight.
Of course, I had many positive experiences as well, darkness is only one side of the equation. Also, having one glimpse into the true nature of 'God', the Universe, the Love that is beyond anything this world has to offer, is enough to diminish 100 negative experiences. That is the power of Truth. It is what it comes down to, deceptions & lies VS the Truth.
I can share one experience that was amazing to me, when it first happened. :) I was sitting on the bed holding my daughter, she was still a little baby, 4 months old and she just fell asleep after feeding. I was looking at her and wondering how something so perfect and beautiful can even exist in this world, I was feeling humbled and blessed, so honored to have her by my side... Suddenly - I fell into a 'Space'. It was a black dark space, everlasting space, filled with billions of glittering stars! After the initial shock, I started to realize how I don't have the body anymore, I just 'was'. I could see at all the directions at once. If I would focus on some star I would find myself instantly next to it. Then I realized how 'stars' were alive, how everything around me is alive and pulsating, how I... somehow 'know' all those stars, they were me and I was them, no matter we also existed in 'separate' consciousness. Then I started to 'hear' something that can only be described as not just voices but all combined, it was voices and music and laughter, coming from the pure joy of existence, coming from the stars around me. I felt such a profound burst of joy and happiness, those two words can't even begin to describe it, how it truly felt, it was playful and energizing, mesmerizing...
I hope you can understand better now what I meant by saying how only one such 'thing' can dissolve all the bad. When you experience something like that - nothing can take it away from you. Nothing can ruin that Truth. It just IS. Lies and manipulations and all that crap become exactly that - just some crap to deal with, to clear out of the way so that the Truth can shine.
Don't have the time for a further reply now, will get to it later, thank you for more stories.
I guess I'll have to read about Ravi Shankar next. I've read the guide, watched the video and I've read the FAQ and I've read peoples replies in threads talking about EE. Many say that they feel like absolute garbage and have horrible dreams as a part of the practice. I had another tab open and just like that, I came across another EE testimonial, here
Hello PaleFace,
I was wrong about Laura learned from Ravi Shankar, I was hurrying yesterday to do something else, so, this is another life lesson for me to learn.
So, anyway I am including part of transcript, that explains Laura learned from person name Craig from the Art of Living Kriya exercises.
Session Date: June 20th 2009
A: Perhaps if you could share the technique that you used to achieve emotional cleansing, a lot of people would benefit including the two individuals in question.
Q: (L) What technique is that?
A: Remember an entire night of cleansing tears?!
Q: (L) Yeah. Well, that was just a meditation technique I developed. I would breathe a certain way and repeat certain things in my mind as I breathed, and I did it every night. Strange things started happening.
A: Strange indeed! You stumbled instinctively on an ancient method that is unsurpassed in its efficacy. So why not share?
Q: (L) Well I just never thought it was anything particularly special - it just worked for me! I mean how does something like that compare to this Art of Living Kriya thing?
A: AoL is for beginners and robots!
Q: (laughter) (L) Well then why were you so enthusiastic when Craig proposed teaching us? I mean, he asked if he should teach us, and you said yes with seven exclamation points!
A: Got you to do it and jump started your thinking didn't we?!
Q: (L) So the point wasn't that this method was "the best" or the only one or so great. It was to draw our attention to the idea of breathing, or control of breath, as a means of effecting emotional healing. Is that it?
A: Absolutely!X7
Q: (laughter) (L) Shorthand. Um...
A: Remember that your method employed a powerful "seed".
Q: (L) Yeah, that's a reference to meditating with or without seed. (Joe) What was the seed? (L) Phrases that I used in my mind.
Not sure if the main problem is the very word 'supernatural' which means a lot of different things to different people, or the fact how you are not yet aware of positive kinds of experiences with it. Maybe a bit of both. Loathing and despising these creatures is a natural reaction, especially for a guy like you. What you may take into consideration is how some of them coexist with us as being fully or partly our own creation. Despising the darkness within only strengthens it. Something to think about.
I've thrown myself into reading about this problem because I was sick of not knowing what was going on and I was eager to acquire weapons and techniques to use to defend myself and maybe even others if they should come knocking again.
I had not been visited by the dark man since January, but I was now having horrible dreams.
Now, bad dreams are a fairly typical occurence for me, and I typically think of nothing of it or just hope that the bad period will end and a period of dreamless sleep will eventually return, allowing me to recover.
Furthermore, in most of the dreams that I've remembered having even before this period, I'm always getting stabbed, beaten, cut to pieces, surrounded by... well, monsters I suppose. But this latest onslaught began to really drain me. I was sleeping for 14 hours for basically the entirety of spring and summer. And I was, for the first time in my life, suddenly becoming aware of the existence of the supernatural (again, thanks to this forum).
I had many nightmares for many years. I went through periods of barely any sleep at all and then periods of sleeping through half of the day, not sure which ones were the worse. It started in my puberty and lasted (to some degree) for a couple of decades until I've had enough and finally dealt with it all.
My desire to arm myself against what I (belatedly) realized was out there, prompted me to seek out answers. And I decided that I needed to bring out the big guns and see what the big boys - the top dogs - the A-Team - 'thas right I'm talking 'bout the mfing take no prisoners badasses at the Inquisition! I had to read what they thought about dark magic.
My advice to you, regarding this, is - learn as much as you can about this and other realities, densities, what's 'behind the veil', and how it connects/relates to us. Learning about dark entities, witches, aliens and such is a start, but it's a small piece of the puzzle, may confuse you more than provide a proper understanding. It's more of an effect than the cause.
The Hammer of the Witches
A quick caveat - most of what we are taught about the Inquisition is simply nothing more than blood libel. These people were basically the lawyers of their time and there is absolutely no evidence to support the claim that they tortured and murdered millions. There were probably around 3 thousand burnings done by the Catholic anti-witch movement during this time period. The Protestant Rebellion that came later was far more brutal and bloody. (I am neither Catholic nor Protestant so I do not have a dog in this fight, just calling it like I see it.) These priests saved more lives than they took by rescuing innocent people from an out of control peasant mob or the corrupt clutches of corrupt local rulers than they killed. This is to say nothing about the countless lives they saved from actual witchcraft. Reading about how they describe the witch movement at the time, you can't help but notice parallels with the Bolshevik movement or Antifa in the US right now - a clandestine terrorist network with political objectives, that these pious and intelligent men were sent in to curb-stomp to Hell.
Anyways, that's just my historical opinion. If you disagree, I hope you can agree to disagree on the historical revisionism and focus on the key takeaways instead.
Literally days before I began to read the book, I had a vivid dream that was sublime in the feelings of disgust and terror it invoked in me. Trust me, it's important to share this part, so bear with me for another short story.
I have no problem hearing about this kind of experience, it is important to talk about and luckily we have this forum for it. As you've already experienced - not many people are willing to hear about it and even if they do listen, they have no similar experience to relate to, no adequate knowledge to share and most of all - it makes them uncomfortable. They don't want to know. Ignorance is bliss.
I don't get far before I see a girl with a completely naked torso and hot pink-red hair coming down the slope the opposite way. She's got leg warmers and forearm warmers as clothes, and nothing else. She's fairly androgynous with small breasts, short legs, slim and generally, fairly young looking.
'She' always has the red/pink hair, always slim, sexy in a somewhat vulgar way and young-looking. At first. Many stories were written about her and 'she' has many names. Lilith is one of them.
The dream wasn't particularly brutal, but it was deeply unsettling. I couldn't forget it.
Even the fact that I dreamed about something prior to reading about it several days later is on its own already an incredible coincidence or a synchronicity (Jungian theory). I know nothing about synchronicities because all that I've read on the topic came from that bastard Jung and what he had to say on the topic basically amounted to, "yeah, synchronicity is a thing" and nothing more.
Jung has nothing to do with synchronicity phenomena, it is the language of the Universe. Sure, as any other True thing it has been used as the tool of deception by STS forces on some occasions, but you can't approach Life with full-on Doubt Mode, faith is as much as important as being on guards. The Balance. The more you clean your own 'machine', the more it happens and you can discern clearly what is true and what is not. The Experience... I can tell you one thing - all that ever happened to me, concerning the 'supernatural' and my lessons, always the experience came first and then, later, I would 'run across' the explanation for it. Never in the reverse order. If it did happen the other way around I would probably disregard it as some mental fantasy. I guess the Universe knows what it's doing, after all. ;)
But at least this was definitely a dream and wasn't like some reality-bending dark acid trip (disclaimer: I have never done drugs, not even once).
The gates of Hell have opened the moment we descended into this form of existence (willingly and quite eagerly.) We are in the process of closing the gates, but first we have to face and acknowledge what lies behind them.
Thanks for the replies @Color. I've been moving around lately and couldn't find time to sit down and reply.
I understand what you're saying, but I am frustrated by the clear lack of understanding. You'd think that with all these religious people sitting around and thinking about stuff like this for millennia, we would have made some more progress already. Maybe we have, and I need to dig into some even older books to find answers. Overall, I feel like I've made so little progress. Worse, I can't get any concrete answers about my experience. Laura seems to think dreams in general are a place where disinfo is dropped. I'm not even sure that the two experiences I had were "dreams" per se. I still feel disarmed and somewhat at the mercy of whatever is out there.
I did have some theories about what the dark man thing could have been.
If it was a demon, that would make sense, because demons are supposed to only be able to affect us using illusions and prestiges and playing with our emotions. But what demon in particular? And how to protect oneself against it? And why did it come to me? I don't really want to read books on demonology... yeah, definitely holding back on diving into that topic until I level up my faith meter and get better with Christ.
Another thought occurred to me that maybe this was related to the "Predator" in one's own mind that Castenada talks about. Perhaps I was in a state where I could see it manifest? Seems more far-fetched. I am struck by the similarities between what Castenada wrote about dreams and what the Inquisitors wrote 500 years ago. They both saw dreaming as a learned discipline of magic with real-world effects.
Q: (laughter) (L) Well then why were you so enthusiastic when Craig proposed teaching us? I mean, he asked if he should teach us, and you said yes with seven exclamation points!
A: Got you to do it and jump started your thinking didn't we?!
Q: (L) So the point wasn't that this method was "the best" or the only one or so great. It was to draw our attention to the idea of breathing, or control of breath, as a means of effecting emotional healing. Is that it?
A: Absolutely!X7
Q: (laughter) (L) Shorthand. Um...
A: Remember that your method employed a powerful "seed".
Q: (L) Yeah, that's a reference to meditating with or without seed. (Joe) What was the seed? (L) Phrases that I used in my mind.
Ok, I think we can all agree that there is power to breathing exercises in general. But it seems that literally everyone is having bad dreams from the second part of EE and when they bring up their concerns they're told that they need to eat less dairy... which, c'mon guys.
I keep harping on this because of my own lived experience. It is a garbage technique that induces severe nightmares in people. Some of them (mine) waking. I'm keeping the pipe breathing idea and trashing the rest. Back to the drawing board. Neither Castenada or G advised hyperventilation in their works, in fact, they were skeptical of forced breathing exercises.
But I am not denying the intense power of breathing exercises!
After reading Eliades' work on Shamanic techniques, it seems that breathing can cultivate an internal fire of sorts that becomes a kinetic fire (used to dry wet clothes, swallow clothes) and also related to shamanic trance and even battle fury. So yes, there is something to it, but we've taken a detour down the wrong road here.
Anyways, I'll leave it there for now. Again, thanks for replies.
After reading Eliades' work on Shamanic techniques, it seems that breathing can cultivate an internal fire of sorts that becomes a kinetic fire (used to dry wet clothes, swallow clothes) and also related to shamanic trance and even battle fury. So yes, there is something to it, but we've taken a detour down the wrong road here
Since the Fall of Edenic state in human history, everything is pretty much corrupted by 4th density STS.
Including the Shamanic teaching, Religions, even Bible.
But luckily, nowadays, we continuously get all the information we needed from session transcripts from the Cassiopaean.
Q: (L) And this same religion, either in its older form or its later elaboration by Zarathushtra, was the origin of the ideas of free will?
A: Yes
Q: (L) Of savior gods?
A: Yes
Q: (L) The Six Bounteous Immortals, or I guess what we could say archetypes or sixth density?
A: Yes
Q: (L) Basically, it almost seemed as though it was a religion about information. Everything emerges from information, but there are some other very particular things about it that are very advanced. They were talking about things that physicists talk about nowadays.
A: Yes
Q: (L) It also seems to be the closest religious exposition of anything that I've come across to what we have received via these transmissions.
A: Yes
Q: (L) I'm just saying "close", because obviously there are some distortions and so forth. So did Zarathushtra modify this original religion because he had a vision, or...?
A: The ideas had already been corrupted, and Zarathushtra sought to recover the truth.
Q: (L) So it had already been corrupted, and he was trying to bring it back in line. He got close, but didn't quite make it. Is that it?
A: Yes
Q: (L) And what had it been corrupted to?
A: The Indian Vedas will give clues.
Q: (L) Maybe he wasn't wrong when he said that the daevas were demons. Were the daevas like STS beings?
About EE‘s second exercise Beatha, is design to bring out all the negative emotions and releasing the Karmic debt.
But this exercise is too powerful to do everyday, some people can’t withstand emotional turmoil that coming out.
That’s why we do whole program that including Beatha, on every Monday and Thursday.
You can read about it from Arwenn and Nienna posted below.
Q: (L) So basically, we can recapitulate by saying that people need to learn to breathe. Breathing can change things in their physiology. And also they need to use the breathing to get themselves into a meditative state, or a state where they can do the bioenergeticbreathing, which then helps them to release karmic and current life programs and issues and get a cleansing.
Okay, so we've got that part of the program. And then once these people begin to clear out their traumas and their programs and get free of illusions and so forth, that means that they are then better able to use facing reality and thinking with a hammer to connect their chakras. And that, I assume, means connecting to their higher intellectual center and higher emotional center. Of course, you connect the emotional center first and then the intellect comes in also. So, in other words, they become kind of like connected with themselves in the future so to say. Am I on track so far
A: The wave is coming, you are teaching people to surf it instead of being dragged under and out to stormy seas.
Q: (L) You once said that the wave was something like "hyperkinetic sensate". And I've often wondered if that means that it's something that massively amplifies whatever is inside an individual? And if that were the case and they were full of a lot of unpleasant, painful, miserable feelings, repressed and suppressed thoughts and so forth, and something that was hyperkinetic sensate amplified all of that, what would it do to that individual? I mean, can you imagine any of us in our worst state of feeling yucky and then having that amplified a bazillion times? If it was bad stuff inside you, you would implode!
A: Soul smashing!
Q: (L) So it is really important for people to go through this process of cleansing to prepare themselves for that?
A: Yes, then they will "rise up with wings as eagles"!
.......
A: If they want to surf the wave they must work to get ready, they must do the EIRIU EOLAS program to get in synch. A lot of little personal wavelets or ripples won't change anything. That is what 4D STS knows and why they seek to engender divisiveness. It is also not worth the risk of being smashed by hidden negative emotions, so best to get on with getting them cleared. Better safe than sorry!!!
I did EE with the group today and have been feeling very emotional and a deep sadness all day. I'm new to EE, so getting there slowly with the timing, and can only do 1-2 rounds of Beatha. I certainly wouldn't recommend doing the full 3 steps every day, especially as a newbie
Arwenn, if the Beatha is a bit too much right now, just continue doing Pipe Breathing or just Belly Breathing while the Beatha part is going on. When you are feeling like you can handle it again, maybe just do the first part and Pipe Breathe through the rest and so on. It's never bad to hold off on the Beatha.
Also, remember while doing the Beatha to not force your breathing. Just long (or short) gentle breathing without pausing between the in and out breaths. That's the important part the no-pausing. Just a gentle in-breath (regardless of if you don't fill your lungs) and, then, without pausing a gentle out-breath going back into the gentle in-breath without pausing.
But wait until you are comfortable again before going back to the Beatha
Since the Fall of Edenic state in human history, everything is pretty much corrupted by 4th density STS.
Including the Shamanic teaching, Religions, even Bible.
But luckily, nowadays, we continuously get all the information we needed from session transcripts from the Cassiopaean.
About EE‘s second exercise Beatha, is design to bring out all the negative emotions and releasing the Karmic debt.
But this exercise is too powerful to do everyday, some people can’t withstand emotional turmoil that coming out.
That’s why we do whole program that including Beatha, on every Monday and Thursday.
You can read about it from Arwenn and Nienna posted below.
The quotes that you provided are from 2009. It's clear that the views of the people on the forum and Laura herself have changed dramatically since then. Saying that its about "karmic cleansing" doesn't address what I am talking about. Furthermore, Karma is a totally bunk concept that doesn't make a lick of sense. Again, it was rejected by G and by all the great Christian writers.
Throwing C quotes at me like that is not productive.
If you are saying that you need to activate the emotional center, then OK, you can do that without EE or the Jungian meditation. It's a core concept of G and he provides exercises on how to do so.
In general, many of the opinions that Laura and other members of the forum have had have changed dramatically over time and people seem open to constructive critique and revision. Just look at the changes in political views since the 90s. As an example, Laura only recently started talking about the You-Know-Whos and their campaign of lies.
New information comes to light, we make readjustments.
I know. I am somewhat the same. Well, WAS the same, I worked hard on transforming my impatience and fears into faith. The hardest thing I ever did, you can read about it some more, if interested, in a few of my posts in this thread: It's been a while... You shared your stories, these are some of mine...
You'd think that with all these religious people sitting around and thinking about stuff like this for millennia, we would have made some more progress already.
This is an STS world/domain, the progress takes place within a person and is then shared with the entire Universe/existence by default, without violating the Free Will rule of this STS realm.
Search for knowledge is an admiring trait. You can do it through books, through networking, you can do it through owning your experiences, you can do it by knowing yourself, by directly engaging in a private relationship with God/Universe. Many paths and they can all be combined for the best results. No limits.
You can't expect a 5yo boy to understand the mechanics and details of flying, operating the airplane. It takes time. The boy has to learn other important things first that will move him to broaden his views, into expanding his overall knowledge, so, when the time comes - he will be ready to fully understand and have control of it. You only started exploring it.
I did have some theories about what the dark man thing could have been.
If it was a demon, that would make sense, because demons are supposed to only be able to affect us using illusions and prestiges and playing with our emotions. But what demon in particular? And how to protect oneself against it? And why did it come to me? I don't really want to read books on demonology... yeah, definitely holding back on diving into that topic until I level up my faith meter and get better with Christ.
So many assumptions, so much guessing, questions... How does it make you feel, riding that same wheel over and over again within your head? I imagine it can't be that satisfying? Let it go. The answers will come when you're ready. By the time that happens you may not care one bit about it, anymore. You'll have more important things to consider than some lousy 'demon'.
Another thought occurred to me that maybe this was related to the "Predator" in one's own mind that Castenada talks about. Perhaps I was in a state where I could see it manifest? Seems more far-fetched. I am struck by the similarities between what Castenada wrote about dreams and what the Inquisitors wrote 500 years ago. They both saw dreaming as a learned discipline of magic with real-world effects.
Yes, so many things to learn! You have the best library on Earth at your hand right here, on this forum, about 'predator's mind', STS nature. Use it and fasten your seatbelt, it's a wild ride!
If it was a demon, that would make sense, because demons are supposed to only be able to affect us using illusions and prestiges and playing with our emotions. But what demon in particular? And how to protect oneself against it? And why did it come to me?
As @Color mentioned, perhaps you could simply consider yourself sensitive.
Which is no biggie, this sort of stuff happens to lots of people and has done for a long time. Have you read any of John Keel's excellent books?
And apologies for throwing another C's quote at you but even my lovely, salt of the earth, non-believing partner has experienced a visit from one of these fellas;
(Galatea) ... I was lying in bed about to fall asleep, and all of a sudden as clear as day I saw a black creature with bright red eyes floating looking in through the window of the Lodge. It was late at night, and I was like, "Oh, that's creepy... SNORE!"
A: The veil is thinning.
Q: (Andromeda) When was that?
(Galatea) It was weeks and weeks ago. But there was also the incident where Athena was there, and that was the night I got spooked by something howling that I thought I heard. I came inside and then the dogs starting barking at something and ran in the direction that I came from. So, I don't know if that was just a creature in the field, or something else. What was it that the dogs were barking at that night?
A: 4th density harbinger.
Q: (Galatea) Good that I hightailed it out of there then!
(Scottie) A harbinger of DOOM?!
(Galatea) A harbinger of what exactly?
A: Thinning veil
Q: (Galatea) Okay, so the veil is thinning so you can see these creatures, but...
(L) I guess they're like window fallers. The veil is thinning, and things get through. They do things. They interact.
(Data) A couple of us have dreamed about bears and we've had injuries or murders in our dreams recently. Is that like reading these energies?
A: Meeting the threats!
Q: (Data) "Meeting the threats" means defending against them in the dreams?
A: Yes
Q: (Data) So, me being a bear and killing a tiger was actually self-defense?
And as mentioned elsewhere, personally I'm of the opinion that the 'dreamscape' is a pretty cool place to learn how to deal with existential terror, death, mutilation, 'demons' etc. - because after a while you can get the hang of it and learn to attemperate the instinctual responses.
The Inquisitors wrote that Lokior the Devil appears to people in their dreams and often shows them a mutilated or cleft foot as like, a chance to let them recognize him through his disguise. He usually offers them a deal or tries to trick them in some sort of way.
The combination of the above statement, 'Witches', plus @Color's 'Lilith' comment also happened to press so many of my buttons that ended up having to go looking for one of the many 'posts' that I've never got to around to sharing.
That was, funnily enough, a response originally inspired by a tale that @goyacobol shared some time ago regarding a symbolically named young boy with a deformed foot;
Goya - it is a well done site - easy navigation. And well-maintained - i.e., stuff works! I think you said you were moving to Canada so I hope you will be near a Trans Town. Dehydrating foods is a good tactic too - when they come into season and are plentiful. Easier to store too. Cheers!
cassiopaea.org
Which as things seem to happen (on the forum anyway...) had reminded me of an experience from years before finding the 'C's experiment , that had also come back to slap me in the face upon stumbling across a reference of Laura’s to the work of Michael Topper (or probably more correctly his partner);
…the negative being of higher densities takes on the configuration of a forebodingly lonely presence... It becomes a fiercely mental entity of 5th density power-knowledge, possessing the proverbial basilisk gaze and only turning the stream of its attention "away" from that intensified/contractile self-absorption toward the created worlds in token deference of the need to canalize the funnelling food source…imbibing the "light units"…to maintain that monumental self-absorption and narcissistic self-luminance of the negative Ego-postulate - the Anti-Logos, the Selfness of Consciousness.
A descriptor that was uncannily resonant and therefore a little worrisome - because it was familiar and I could empathise.
Anyway, without going into a massive preamble, the following little bit describes an experience following a period where, much like yourself, I had felt under withering 'attack' for months... always engaged in battle and always in 'the dark' (like fighting Tyson with your eyes closed) also with a very strong fighting for my life vibe;
...then on one unforgettable occasion, mid-struggle, the darkness retreated - just enough.
Amidst the inky blackness, dimly visible and kneeling at my feet, was the 'adversary' - subdued. Head hanging forward in shadow, his long sweat sodden hair gripped tightly in my gauntleted left fist, the entire arm quivering with fatigue. In a trembling right hand, a weighty blade pulled hard against his throat, my knee in his back. All I could think of was rest, I desperately needed to rest - blessed oblivion. Having finally prevailed over my tormentor, the tide had turned and I could could put an end to things.
On the point of collapse and having decided to act, in the moment before sawing backwards a female figure suddenly materialised on the fringe of the darkness, at the limit of vision - rigid as a statue. Whereby perception skewed such that the entire ensemble became apparent, now like watching theatre from a front row seat and surprising in that there was a fourth player - directly behind the 'other‘ me. Another man, heavily armoured and blindfolded, hands crossed loosely on the pommel of a great sword, unsheathed and inverted, its point resting between his feet. Silent, he too immobile as though carved from stone, a notable bookend to the other unnaturally static figure.
And frustratingly try as I might, from the aspect of watcher, there was absolutely nothing discernible to indicate 'life' about the stoic warrior, but I knew he was alive also that he was somehow representative of my younger brother - though for some reason known as 'Vidar'?
The woman in contrast, despite equivalent stillness, oozed vitality. Her faultless figure clad in hugging black, milk white skin offset by long raven hair - heart stoppingly gorgeous. Poised ominously however with a fully drawn longbow - blacker than coal - arrow nocked and aimed directly at the 'me' (struggling with exhaustion) standing over a kneeling figure not long for this world.
Then 'I' shifted again and it was though time dilated.
As 'my' muscle and tendons contracted to draw the blade back and up, ‘I’ was startled to feel a sharp edge sever my windpipe and grind against spine (as though in place of the adversary), simultaneously hearing a stunningly synchronised twang of the bowstring. In the same instant, also 'feeling' the shock of an arrow smash into my chest, straight through the heart, blasting out of shattered ribs. And from the view of observer, witnessing the long shaft of jet sweep effortlessly through the body of the knife wielding figure and slam fatally into the unmoving, stoically sightless 'brother'. Now crumpled.
All three dead in less than a heartbeat - fade to black.
‘I’ then found myself floating in an infinity absent of light, drifting ever so slowly towards a grotesque, vaguely amphibian figure. Squatting and repulsive, intuitively knowing that ‘it’ was the reason all was dark. The baleful gaze fixated on my approach, it's bulging lidless eyes however flickering with fear - aware that I too could 'see' in this place - also that it had been supplanted...As I settled upon his cold stone bench (now mine), a diaphanous figure then moved gracefully into place to my left, taking position behind my 'shoulder' before resolving into the glorious dark archer, now weaponless. Still painfully beautiful but now unholy, radiant and terrifying in her hate.
And like this we waited, for eternities, until eventually the barest of sparks flashed way out towards infinity, drawing my steady gaze. A sophomore attempt swiftly annihilated by the crashing impact of a whipping, prehensile tongue. The novice firefly to my wise toad. Tasting nothing and feeling less, the wait began - again.
Eventually a soft flicker of horror flashed through my simple mind, dim realisation dawning that this bleakest reality was the result of my deciding to ‘kill’ the adversary. Faintly remembering the sensate anomaly whereby the adversary was somehow an aspect of ‘me’ and in killing him, I'd killed not only myself but my brother also and with them had gone the light!
Now, instead of being able to rest, I was never to sleep again - cursed to eternal vigilance, a nightmare creature to be feared and loathed.
And with this insight ‘I’ suddenly snapped back to the '1st person'. Hand full of hair, shivering with exhaustion and about to open my enemies throat. Eyes stinging, burning with both sweat and tears, I reluctantly withdraw the edge, angrily hurling the figure forward such that he sprawls at 'her' feet. Freed to continue the game.
And apologies for the overly melodramatic tone but never having spoken of it, the act of trying to frame the experience in words was actually very cathartic. As well as providing much food for thought.
Something that had also intrigued was that the 'brother' had been presented as Vidar in that little skit. Particularly because at the time I had no idea that Vidar was even a thing? On learning later of the character of Víðarr and his role in Ragnarök, then struck as a particularly uncanny coincidence! Because in that narrative ‘the adversary’ in the dream may well have then represented the 'Trickster' - Loki - and Vidarr famously had a Thick Shoe. Like Hugh of Glaston - he of the Grail Quest.
Which also put a different spin on 'witches' and 'darkness';
78.34Questioner: Would the archetype then that has been called the High Priestess, which represents the intuition, be properly the second of the archetypes?
Ra: I am Ra. This is correct. You see here the recapitulation of the beginning knowledge of this Logos; that is, matrix and potentiator. The unconscious is indeed what may be poetically described as High Priestess, for it is the Potentiator of the Mind and as potentiator for the mind is that principle which potentiates all experience.
78.11Questioner: Could you elaborate please on the nature and quality of the matrix and the potentiator?
Ra: I am Ra. In the mind complex the matrix may be described as consciousness. It has been called the Magician. It is to be noted that of itself consciousness is unmoved. The potentiator of consciousness is the unconscious. This encompasses a vast realm of potential in the mind.
In the body the matrix may be seen as Balanced Working or Even Functioning. Note that here the matrix is always active with no means of being inactive. The potentiator of the body complex, then, may be called Wisdom for it is only through judgment that the unceasing activities and proclivities of the body complex may be experienced in useful modes.
The Matrix of the Spirit is what you may call the Night of the Soul or Primeval Darkness...
And after much rumination the figure of 'Trickster' then also resolved, to my way of thinking anyway, away from an enemy to be destroyed to that of the 'funny looking old man' in the fable of Jack and the Beanstalk - 'the source' of the magic beans.
Allegorically positing the 'giants' wife, as then likely symbolic of the potentiator of the Mind, the 'unconscious' to Jack's 'consciousness' and so on.
Hopefully what I'm trying to convey here makes some sense...
What led me to this thread again was reading the April 9 2011 session which mentions dark man dreams. Originally I was searching for something unrelated (info on the March 11 2011 earthquake in Japan). After reading the above session from 2011 and some of this thread again, I thought I’d go ahead and share my most recent dream of this type. I wasn’t sure about posting it, but who knows maybe others are having similar dreams..
In the dream from last month, an intruder tried to break into a family members house through the back door. I’ve had this type of dream before but it’s not always a family members house, sometimes it’s the front door and not the back door etc. In the dream I struggled to prevent them from getting in and it was at this point that I awoke with a a scream. Prior to this in the dream, there was something on fire in the backyard. A family member was also on fire at one point, and I extinguished the fire on their clothes. I had this dream in the very early morning around the time the
6.4 earthquake struck California last month, so it stands out in my mind now too.
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