So I have been reading this thread on and off as I see new responses posted, and have been thinking a little about it. As a fan of fantasy, I have always had a curiosity about magic and superpowers/psychic abilities, although the latter was probably more influenced when I started studying spirituality during high school and was getting familiar with tai chi, yoga, and meditation. It started opening me up to a whole new world outside of simple fantasy novels, rpg's, and the christian up-bringing I had been programmed with. I had a lot of fun learning about different spiritual paths, while gaining a focus of my mind/body/emotions using tai chi/yoga/meditation. I noticed that practicing with these tools/pathways started to open my awareness and seemed to develop some sort of skills. I used to be able to go into relatively deep meditations and work with energy and chakra's. I would work on energy cultivation/circulation in tai chi, and with qi gong while trying to understand the healing aspect of it. Had my share of successful healing sessions when it was applied. I admit I did have some theories about playing around with weather modification as well, spurring off the tree type meditation, combining the grounding through the feet/base of spine, and the branching out through the top of the head into the sky to form a link in an energetic current. I had a lot of ideas I was curious about, and tried experimenting.
But that was in my youth, when I was curious about the world and opening up to my spiritual side, full of awe and wonder of the world and universe. I seemed to fall off the bandwagon so to say my senior year. I partly think it was due to me coming out the summer before. It may have been an over-identification with that aspect of me, plus the fact that high school was soon to be over and I was to be thrust into the real world and all its somewhat terrifying realities and relations that I would have to be a part of. Life wasn't going to be so calm and carefree, where i could simply go to school, hang with friends, and study and practice spirituality/tai chi/yoga/meditation while living a relatively comfortable life as a young adult under the care of a parent. So as I passed into adulthood, it felt like the weight of the world was starting to descend on me. I went through my trials of being kicked out after my 18th birthday due to mounting depression that kept me from doing much of anything. It was a necessary event to jump start my self sustainability in the real world I am a part of. I moved in with a friend and her family that was a couple grades below me, got a job and eventually was helped to get an apartment of my own with my mothers help and cosigning of the lease. I had definitely gone though my own dark times during this phase transition in my life, but at least I was functioning in a way to support myself. My spiritual side was kind of dormant, even though there was a calling of sorts to resume the connection. Finding that balance in life between living as you need to get by, while still being open and active to the spiritual side is a battle I havent quite been able to reconcile yet.
I eventually stumbled upon Laura's work and the Cassiopaean material, and have been trying to work with the information this forum has so generously made available. It had a bit of a renewing/revitalizing effect on that dormant spiritual side that was always calling out to me. It seems I have a lot more knowledge now thanks to all the research done here, and the reading I have done thanks to the suggestions from this forum, but the Being is what has been dormant in me for so long. When I think back to my younger days, I have longing to be that again. I miss the fun of it all. The deep and meaningful meditations, the calm and focus,the random what seemed to be pyschic/intuitive readings i received, the fun of using energy for healing and whatever experimental ideas I had. Was it that Knowledge and Being were working together back then? As I studied and learned more, i would try and apply difference techniques/tools. I mean, it really was like the C's said, "learning is fun".
I feel I need to be more dedicated with the Doing/Being. I want to revive that old me I feel so connected to, but its not quite that, but more of an integration. I dont want to live in the past, but I do want to integrate that part of me with all the knowledge I had received since coming into contact with this forum. I have been working with dietary shift and exercise, doing tai chi more regularly, reading though the recommended book list, but meditation is usually what frustrates me and brings me down. I keep losing focus and feeling detached, having frustration overwhelm me. I think back to how easy and fun it was years ago, and wonder why I cant do it now. I was thinking I need to focus on EE as the primary meditation tool right now. I am out of practice and think this guided approach would be the most beneficial approach, but I just need to sit down and do it. stop worrying about the past and use what I have in front of me to help me get where I am trying to go. It kind of feels like the definition of insanity right now, trying to do the same thing over and over while expecting a different result, which is why i need to shift course and use the EE program.( mainly cuz i am caught in the past)
I am sorry if this post became a bit long-winded. I have mainly been a board-lurker and wanted to start participating more on the forum. Plus I am interested in joining FOTCM and know that active participation is reviewed for consideration. I am glad I had overcome what resistance I had been harboring to put myself out there and comment. One of the main reasons I first posted in this thread was because I like anime and have been watching a couple about virtual reality rpg games. Its like another world that we dream up where other realities/laws are possible. But it got more interesting as I watched. Both series have the players stuck in the world they play in, as if it became the real world. what once was a game where you could do/be whatever you wanted w/o consequence began to shift into one where their humanity started to play a real role in decision making. It also started to touch on what seems to be a bit of information theory and gathering of information to alter the course of events they now find themselves in. The two series I am referring to are Sword Art Online SAO, and Login Horizon. I have been watching them on www.anime1.com but you can access them from any sight you find that provides the content. My suggestion was for those interested to watch them and discuss any concepts that have relevance. Like books, I like anime because of ideas/concepts that can be portrayed that stimulate one to think outside the box. I think i remember the C's mentioning something about higher density beings can infuse ideas into people through inspiration that get created as books/movies, ect. I thought this suggestion would be relevant to some of the discussions taking place here, but if it is off topic or would be better relegated to a new thread let me know.
But that was in my youth, when I was curious about the world and opening up to my spiritual side, full of awe and wonder of the world and universe. I seemed to fall off the bandwagon so to say my senior year. I partly think it was due to me coming out the summer before. It may have been an over-identification with that aspect of me, plus the fact that high school was soon to be over and I was to be thrust into the real world and all its somewhat terrifying realities and relations that I would have to be a part of. Life wasn't going to be so calm and carefree, where i could simply go to school, hang with friends, and study and practice spirituality/tai chi/yoga/meditation while living a relatively comfortable life as a young adult under the care of a parent. So as I passed into adulthood, it felt like the weight of the world was starting to descend on me. I went through my trials of being kicked out after my 18th birthday due to mounting depression that kept me from doing much of anything. It was a necessary event to jump start my self sustainability in the real world I am a part of. I moved in with a friend and her family that was a couple grades below me, got a job and eventually was helped to get an apartment of my own with my mothers help and cosigning of the lease. I had definitely gone though my own dark times during this phase transition in my life, but at least I was functioning in a way to support myself. My spiritual side was kind of dormant, even though there was a calling of sorts to resume the connection. Finding that balance in life between living as you need to get by, while still being open and active to the spiritual side is a battle I havent quite been able to reconcile yet.
I eventually stumbled upon Laura's work and the Cassiopaean material, and have been trying to work with the information this forum has so generously made available. It had a bit of a renewing/revitalizing effect on that dormant spiritual side that was always calling out to me. It seems I have a lot more knowledge now thanks to all the research done here, and the reading I have done thanks to the suggestions from this forum, but the Being is what has been dormant in me for so long. When I think back to my younger days, I have longing to be that again. I miss the fun of it all. The deep and meaningful meditations, the calm and focus,the random what seemed to be pyschic/intuitive readings i received, the fun of using energy for healing and whatever experimental ideas I had. Was it that Knowledge and Being were working together back then? As I studied and learned more, i would try and apply difference techniques/tools. I mean, it really was like the C's said, "learning is fun".
I feel I need to be more dedicated with the Doing/Being. I want to revive that old me I feel so connected to, but its not quite that, but more of an integration. I dont want to live in the past, but I do want to integrate that part of me with all the knowledge I had received since coming into contact with this forum. I have been working with dietary shift and exercise, doing tai chi more regularly, reading though the recommended book list, but meditation is usually what frustrates me and brings me down. I keep losing focus and feeling detached, having frustration overwhelm me. I think back to how easy and fun it was years ago, and wonder why I cant do it now. I was thinking I need to focus on EE as the primary meditation tool right now. I am out of practice and think this guided approach would be the most beneficial approach, but I just need to sit down and do it. stop worrying about the past and use what I have in front of me to help me get where I am trying to go. It kind of feels like the definition of insanity right now, trying to do the same thing over and over while expecting a different result, which is why i need to shift course and use the EE program.( mainly cuz i am caught in the past)
I am sorry if this post became a bit long-winded. I have mainly been a board-lurker and wanted to start participating more on the forum. Plus I am interested in joining FOTCM and know that active participation is reviewed for consideration. I am glad I had overcome what resistance I had been harboring to put myself out there and comment. One of the main reasons I first posted in this thread was because I like anime and have been watching a couple about virtual reality rpg games. Its like another world that we dream up where other realities/laws are possible. But it got more interesting as I watched. Both series have the players stuck in the world they play in, as if it became the real world. what once was a game where you could do/be whatever you wanted w/o consequence began to shift into one where their humanity started to play a real role in decision making. It also started to touch on what seems to be a bit of information theory and gathering of information to alter the course of events they now find themselves in. The two series I am referring to are Sword Art Online SAO, and Login Horizon. I have been watching them on www.anime1.com but you can access them from any sight you find that provides the content. My suggestion was for those interested to watch them and discuss any concepts that have relevance. Like books, I like anime because of ideas/concepts that can be portrayed that stimulate one to think outside the box. I think i remember the C's mentioning something about higher density beings can infuse ideas into people through inspiration that get created as books/movies, ect. I thought this suggestion would be relevant to some of the discussions taking place here, but if it is off topic or would be better relegated to a new thread let me know.