Friction and Fusion

[Buddy]

If you think about the many "little *i*s as just programmed thought loops - buffers as Gurdjieff called them - then it is easy to understand that you just have to re-wire your brain.

I wanted to say that I just had a profound reaction to the meaning in the above statement. My eyes even welled up with tears as it hit me emotionally.

It is important to understand what we are dealing with here (little i's, buffers and programs), but it may be mis-spent energy to keep breaking them down (intellectually) when I simply need to be spending more time applying what I'm understanding (re-wiring) in my moment-by-moment, day-by-day activities. If the focus is on seeing and DOing daily life, re-wiring our brains with the new thinking and DOing patterns we have already been exposed to and can be applied in our own context, then we are prepared to deal with our programs as they come up.

Lesson learned:
Laura didn't have all this knowledge in her head before she had to struggle with understanding it all, she had to struggle through the issues that came up as they came up, dealing with them at that time and experiencing the exponential growth of knowledge that resulted from a given struggle.

A long-winded way of saying "it ain't gonna be understood in an armchair."

I understood this intellectually; it just made a much deeper impact.

-edit: added the word "intellectually" in the second paragraph to clarify my meaning.

 

[Buddy]

Hi everyone;

I wanted to report to the forum that I have just received a major shock. I feel like I need to document it here, should I wind up going back to sleep.

In case my experience should benefit anyone else - even just to understand what I'm talking about, here is what happened:

I had been 'contributing' to this thread in the same manner in which I had been 'contributing' elsewhere in this forum. Laura made her post to this thread. Her personal comments that preceded the quotes from Gurdjieff could have been (and were) perceived as addressed to the thread instead of an individual. As it contained two lengthy quotes from Gurdjieff, I temporarily skipped over it with the intention to come back and read it later.

I continued my 'contributions' in this thread and elsewhere while in my dissasociated state, and did finally come back around to it a little later. I read Gurdjieff's quotes all the way to the end with my typical nod to his wisdom. Then I got to Laura's comments at the end of her post. I only got half way through when I felt slammed. I was shocked. I burned with embarrassment and had to read each sentence multiple times to stay focused. I realized I was experiencing the mirror. I guess that's what this was, and because of what I understand about my purpose for being here, I chose to stay with the heat.

I wasn't called by name, but that no longer matters. I saw myself from a completely new perspective, and it had a deep impact. I'm hoping that this is going to make a permanent difference.

I think that after 330 posts, maybe I can do the real Work in earnest.

I feel like making apologies to anyone who has found themselves on the receiving end of my disassociated crap, and many, many thanks for all that I am actually learning. I want to be a useful member to this group.

 

[Ollie]

This may or may not help. Another way of thinking about the little 'I's as 'programmed thought loops' is to consider them as thoughts made into decisions, particularly limiting decisions. These limiting decisions were made in the past (probably in the infantile imprint phase) for what were then appropriate reasons (seemingly positive at the time), such as safety, security, etc, and made with the resources then available to the infant. These decisions may then became deeply held (unconsciously programmed) as values or beliefs that subsequently drive behaviours and perceptions for the person. These limiting decisions are memories stored with a negative emotion (anger, fear, etc) associated with when the decision was made; a wrong working of the emotional centre with the intellectual centre. As time passes, the infant grows up, the limiting decisions are still there running unconsciously even if they are no longer appropriate, as the person has more resources available. Unfortunately these unconscious limiting decisions avoid getting re-evaluated for the changed circumstances of growing up; they are unknown.

Re-wiring then becomes a matter of re-evaluation (re-examination of self) and replacement of the limiting decisions to more appropriate decisions, and at the same preserving the unconscious positive learnings from having made the decision in the first place.

 

[anart]

This may or may not help. Another way of thinking about the little 'I's as 'programmed thought loops' is to consider them as thoughts made into decisions, particularly limiting decisions. These limiting decisions were made in the past (probably in the infantile imprint phase) for what were then appropriate reasons (seemingly positive at the time), such as safety, security, etc, and made with the resources then available to the infant. These decisions may then became deeply held (unconsciously programmed) as values or beliefs that subsequently drive behaviours and perceptions for the person. These limiting decisions are memories stored with a negative emotion (anger, fear, etc) associated with when the decision was made; a wrong working of the emotional centre with the intellectual centre. As time passes, the infant grows up, the limiting decisions are still there running unconsciously even if they are no longer appropriate, as the person has more resources available. Unfortunately these unconscious limiting decisions avoid getting re-evaluated for the changed circumstances of growing up; they are unknown.

Re-wiring then becomes a matter of re-evaluation (re-examination of self) and replacement of the limiting decisions to more appropriate decisions, and at the same preserving the unconscious positive learnings from having made the decision in the first place.

Could you concisely clarify what you mean by 'limiting decisions' in this context?

 

[Laura]

This may or may not help. Another way of thinking about the little 'I's as 'programmed thought loops' is to consider them as thoughts made into decisions, particularly limiting decisions. These limiting decisions were made in the past (probably in the infantile imprint phase) for what were then appropriate reasons (seemingly positive at the time), such as safety, security, etc, and made with the resources then available to the infant. These decisions may then became deeply held (unconsciously programmed) as values or beliefs that subsequently drive behaviours and perceptions for the person. These limiting decisions are memories stored with a negative emotion (anger, fear, etc) associated with when the decision was made; a wrong working of the emotional centre with the intellectual centre. As time passes, the infant grows up, the limiting decisions are still there running unconsciously even if they are no longer appropriate, as the person has more resources available. Unfortunately these unconscious limiting decisions avoid getting re-evaluated for the changed circumstances of growing up; they are unknown.

Re-wiring then becomes a matter of re-evaluation (re-examination of self) and replacement of the limiting decisions to more appropriate decisions, and at the same preserving the unconscious positive learnings from having made the decision in the first place.

Exactly so. I would describe "limiting decisions" as decisions that block out reality.

Added: The ways and means that we ensure survival of the ego is established pretty early in life by our parental and societal programming. This conditioning determines what IS or is NOT possible; what we are "allowed" to believe in order to be accepted. We learn this first by learning what pleases our parents and then later we modify our belief based on what pleases our society - our peers - to believe.

When we make such decisions about what is or is not possible, what we are or are not, or can or can't be, how to act in order to survive, and so on, those are "limiting decisions."

For example, if we decide, at an early age, because of the way we are treated by our parents or society, that the world is a very unfriendly place, we begin to act in unfriendly ways towards others because we are always expecting the world to be unfriendly and we seek to protect ourselves by pre-empting this unfriendly world. "If you are gonna treat me bad, I'll just withdraw or be nasty to you before you are nasty to me... " sort of thing. The person then brings on themselves the very thing they believe about the world.

Of course, it is not exactly as cut and dried as this at every level, but basically, these are decisions about the self and its relation to the world and everyone else in it and that can have profound effects on a person's experience because these buffers - beliefs about the world and the self - predispose certain behaviors.

 

[Ollie]

anart, by way of clarification.

Limiting decisions as in past decisions made that limit behaviour or perceptions in the present.

 

[anart]

anart, by way of clarification.

Limiting decisions as in past decisions made that limit behaviour or perceptions in the present.

I was thinking that you might have meant limiting decisions that produce 'limiting behavior' as in inhibited behavior, which is why I asked for clarification, since behavior that results from programs can include uninhibited behavior as well. That was the only part of what you had written that caught me up a bit, due to my uncertainty of what you meant, so thanks for clarifying.

 

[Ollie]

Relating to this topic, by chance an opportunity arose last night to express what follows.

In terms of enabling the progression of the friction and fusion process, one practical way of developing awareness of, identifying, these limiting decisions, or buffers, etc, may be useful.

This is particularly for anyone predisposed to the idea of ‘what we think determines our future’, and that is to observe the ‘probable mental patterns behind dis-ease’ (Louise Hay), and also predisposed to Lise Bourbeau quoting Carl Jung ‘… In the same way that the conscious and unconscious are in constant interaction, the body and mind are in constant interaction’.

Here the following books may help: You can heal your Life, by Louise Hay, and Your Body is Telling You: Love yourself, by Lise Bourbeau. Both authors are metaphysical teachers on the probable cause of dis-ease.

One simple way of re-examining limiting decisions is to look at the symptoms of dis-ease, physical problems and their probable cause.

By way of example, and personal practice and the speed in which the pattern of limiting decisions may arise, and of the body indicating and reminding that work needs DOing.

In the middle of last night I woke up sneezing and then had a stuffy nose. So, how are possible limiting decisions determined from this? Referring to the books quoted above for indicators or pointers the following arises:

Hay:
Nose – Stuffy – (probable cause) [deciding] Not recognis[e] [my] self-worth. What was the possible trigger? Yesterday evening, possible ‘inner basking’, in False Personality, of Laura’s confirmation on one of my recent posts on this topic: one of my Chief Feature’s negative emotions is a fear of not being good enough (inadequacy), ie, lack of recognition, or possibly, it was Vanity and/or Self-Pride raising their heads.

Nose – Runny (probable cause) inner crying. Possibly, a plea for me to DO something to disintegrate a limiting decision.

All of this indicates useful information for re-examining limiting decisions, such as, self-worth, vanity, and self-pride.

Then the indicators, or pointers from Bourbeau:
Nose problems
Emotional block ‘… difficulty in taking in breath through the nose is directly linked to taking in life. You tend [decide] to cut [my]self off on a sensory level for fear of feeling [my] own suffering …’ This could be one limiting decision to rewire.
Mental block ‘Frequent nasal congestion [yes] occurs in those who are sensitive, but who [deciding to] block [my] sensitivity for fear of being flooded emotionally …[another possible limiting decision to rewire] Understand that there is a difference between emotions and sensitivity, … In doing so, you will release the life force that has been stifled …’

This latter limiting decision, and following comment, relates to the recent revelation to me (thanks to the Forum mirror) of a blocked emotional centre.

I have tried many times to re-examine this limiting decision brought to my attention without full, lasting success. Only recently do I now understand the reason that I could not access the root cause of the problem; it is securely locked away due to an act of early infant trauma. The reappearance of the nose problem is a reminder to me to get on with the DOing, rather than letting my Chief Feature (procrastination) limit my progress. I add that in other areas of ‘dis-ease’, dealing with replacing limiting decisions, and the disintegration of some of the buffers comprising the false self, the success level is higher. As a process it works for me.

This may, or may not, be a useful process for other people to re-examine/re-evaluate limiting decisions, or buffers, that seemingly arise from (in this example) possible unconscious triggers providing physical manifestations.

For some people, this may be an easier way to observe ‘programmed thought loops’, or limiting decisions, or buffers, than just relying on catching internal thoughts as they arise, and fleetingly disappear, or that so take over inside that awareness of them is totally hidden in mechanical behaviour.

 

[Buddy]

Then the indicators, or pointers from Bourbeau:
Nose problems
Emotional block ‘… difficulty in taking in breath through the nose is directly linked to taking in life. You tend [decide] to cut [my]self off on a sensory level for fear of feeling [my] own suffering …’ This could be one limiting decision to rewire.
Mental block ‘Frequent nasal congestion [yes] occurs in those who are sensitive, but who [deciding to] block [my] sensitivity for fear of being flooded emotionally …[another possible limiting decision to rewire] Understand that there is a difference between emotions and sensitivity, … In doing so, you will release the life force that has been stifled …’

This sounds like something that may be playing in my experience. I've had nasal difficulties as long as I can remember. Constant congestion, runny nose, sometimes for no apparant reason, ability to smell only odors/fragrances that are strong.

"Blocking sensitivity for fear of being flooded emotionally" definitely rings a bell for me. Thanks for the post, Trevrizent.

 

[T.C.]

I feel like making apologies to anyone who has found themselves on the receiving end of my disassociated crap, and many, many thanks for all that I am actually learning. I want to be a useful member to this group.

Hi Buddy.

It may be helpful to know that this type of realisation is a natural part of the process, so there's no need to apologise. Anyone who's trying to work goes through it at some point. If you did get a glimpse of an aspect of your false personality, that's great.

In William Patrick Patterson's Ladies of the Rope, he writes about a certain practice of Gurdjieff's called, "The Toast to the Idiots":

Saturday evenings there would be communal Turkish baths first for the men and then the women followed by a feast and ritual toasting of the idiots. Referred to as The Science of Idiotism, Gurdjieff maintained that this was an initiate ritual that had been practised for 4,500 years and expressed the secrets of the inner life of Man. It was never to be practised apart from the sacramental meal and always with alcohol, never wine. There are 21 different idiots with Gurdjieff being number 18; 19 and 20 are sacred individual performing functions in the whole Megalocosmos; and 21 is the Unique idiot, our God.

After hearing the toasts to the various Idiots at one meal, at the next Gurdjieff asked students to pick their Idiot. Gurdjieff said it was impossible not to be an Idiot, as everyone was one. (The Greek root meaning of the word is "I make my own.") They were to choose from the first 12 Idiots. These ranged from the Ordinary Idiot to Super, Arch, Hopeless, Compassionate, Squirming, Square, Round, Zigzag, Enlightened, Doubting and Swaggering. Each had its particular designation.

The movement of the Idiots was not forward but backward from the Idiot they chose to Ordinary Idiot. The reason was that only in the recognition of one's nothingness could there be true development toward consciousness and conscience. Otherwise all forward movement was certain to be stopped by a "wrong crystallisation"; that is, a fusion of a particular level of consciousness on the basis of the false personality. If such a crystallisation is not dissolved before a given Idiot is reached, it may become insurmountable. This is because this very defect, or defects, was a definite factor in the original ascent. Interestingly, the limitation of a wrong crystallisation is not realised until the results that such a crystallisation produces have been observed.

Hope that helps.

 

[Beau]

I've had nasal difficulties as long as I can remember. Constant congestion, runny nose, sometimes for no apparant reason, ability to smell only odors/fragrances that are strong.

What's your diet like? Too much dairy can cause nasal/sinus problems.

 

[Buddy]

Hi T.C.

My first response was: awesome post! I feel like saying I love you for that.

I have been doing some serious self-examination, trying to keep in mind that:
the "All is happening simultaneously", and using the information that Laura pointed to concerning reviewing basic concepts.

I'm probably known for quoting Laura extensively to other people, but I'd like to share a few that have had a powerful meaning to me the last few days, if you don't mind:

[quote author=http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/wave13h.htm]
The brain mechanisms that generate a given mental state, or what we choose, for the sake of convenience to call emotion, also give rise to certain measurable

physiological states, such as pulse rates or brain waves, as well as observable behaviors such as running away or smiling. "Feelings," by contrast, are a conscious, subjective labeling of the individual's state. One person may say "I feel excited," and another may say "I feel afraid," and both will exhibit the same physiological symptoms and characteristic brain waves.
...
The low road, or the thalamo-amygdala pathway, is a quick and dirty system. Because it doesn't involve the cortex at all, it allows us to act first and think later. Or, rather, it lets evolution do the thinking for us, at least at the beginning, buying us time.
...
...you don't need the cortex to carry out some of the emotional learning involved in the fear system. Thus we can have emotional reactions to something without knowing what we're responding to - even as we start responding to it.
...
We all know that there are many times in normal, day-to-day experience when we don't understand where our emotions are coming from - why we feel happy, sad, afraid.
...
...an unconscious response may not be revealing some sort of inner truth but may instead be doing nothing more than reviving past emotional learning.
...
...it seems that learning - acquiring knowledge - is the path of rewiring the synaptic connections in the brain.
...
And this is our Ace in the hole. We can make ourselves unavailable as food; we can change our systemic responses so that the Matrix "unplugs us" and dumps us out of the system just like Neo was unceremoniously plucked from his pod when he "woke up."
...
But, more importantly: we can train ourselves to NOT BLINK. With knowledge and awareness of what IS, and what might be, we can never be confronted with a situation, either in the body or out, that will cause us to fall into a negative state.
...
It seems, from all the studies that are done, that an elevated mood - one of happy expectation of the possibility of adventure - is the greatest protection against illness. Perhaps it is also the one that makes one "inedible" to the Matrix?
...
Identifying, releasing and expressing emotion that has been suppressed is a significant step in the direction of taking charge of your ship and learning to

navigate it. But, at the same time, it is essential to learn to transform emotions. We can learn to only have positive emotions![/quote]

There is so much more, but if I quoted everything I wanted to I might as well copy and paste the Wave here, so I'll refrain.

Another thing I would like to mention is that, generally speaking, I was/am one of those people who wear their emotions on their sleeve, always ready to overflow with enthusiasm and love for anyone and any opportunity to learn something new. I learned to disassociate from my emotions in order to 'behave', 'act right' and 'don't draw attention to myself' and stuff like that. I think it was to protect me from my own naiveté as well. Buffers had to be created to keep me from dealing with this and to accept and work through the pain that is also there, associated with all this.

Your post meant a lot. Thank you.


----------------------
Love:
In this context: ...immense and powerful feelings of unknown nature, but perceived to be benevolent and to contain gratitude.

 

[Buddy]

What's your diet like? Too much dairy can cause nasal/sinus problems.

Hi Pinkerton. I am somewhat ashamed to say that I have not explored the Diet and health section yet to find out how I should be eating.

My diet normally consists of meat/chicken/pork/fish with a starch and vegetable in moderation. No milk, little to no cheese.

I am currently exploring possible connections to my belief system though, with this in mind:

[quote author=http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/wave13j.htm]
Taking this "key" literally, if a person has problems or feels "attacked" or is suffering in any way, they have only to search their own mind to discover that they are holding on to a belief or an assumption that is an obsession. I have found this to be true in my own life, as well as the lives of others. If there are problems, illness, difficulties of all kinds, then one is obsessed in some way with a false belief. No exceptions.[/quote]

 

[anart]

What's your diet like?  Too much dairy can cause nasal/sinus problems. 

Hi Pinkerton. I am somewhat ashamed to say that I have not explored the Diet and health section yet to find out how I should be eating.

My diet normally consists of meat/chicken/pork/fish with a starch and vegetable in moderation. No milk, little to no cheese.

I am currently exploring possible connections to my belief system though, with this in mind:

[quote author=http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/wave13j.htm]
Taking this "key" literally, if a person has problems or feels "attacked" or is suffering in any way, they have only to search their own mind to discover that they are holding on to a belief or an assumption that is an obsession. I have found this to be true in my own life, as well as the lives of others. If there are problems, illness, difficulties of all kinds, then one is obsessed in some way with a false belief. No exceptions.

[/quote]

I can see why that quote might be applicable, however - sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.  The health and diet section is crucial since many of the control mechanisms of this reality are directly tied into physiology - 'cleaning your machine' is also a physical process.  I had sinus issues, allergies, runny nose and serious asthma for over a decade before adjusting my diet - now - nothing - all of it is gone, along with several other decades-long serious health problems.

Never underestimate the power of detoxing - if, after detoxing, the problem persists - then it is time to seriously look at the underlying energetic issue.  At least this has been my personal experience.

 

[FireShadow]

Buddy, thank you for posting those quotes (in your last two posts). I have read "The Wave", but I don't remember reading any of that.

It got my attention as it seems relevant to some things I am currently working on. Guess that means now is a good time to go back for another reading.

And, since I have only been loosely following this thread, I will be going back and rereading the whole thing.

So, Buddy I don't think you need to apologize for quoting Laura. Those quotes seemed to be exactly what I needed to read at exactly the right time for me to read it.