Gratitude: Today is a Gift.

[Eva]

RedFox, thanks for the posts. I recognize myself in so much of what you describe.

I've just been putting one foot in front of the other and attempting to dig into what the heck makes me so stuck in this over sensitive brain fogged automatic hell of a merry go round constantly feeling like I have to run 100x faster than anyone else just to stand still.

Constant over sensitivity/stirring up emotions, seeing the terror of it all and then slipping into disassociation. All the time seeing this pattern repeat and having no clue how to stop it!
If I tried to hit the breaks on part of it or force myself to change I hit burnout.
[...]
Being in constant trauma mode means having 90% of your brain devoted to solving the problem - without the right understanding or tools that 90% gets stuck in an irresolvable loop! All that is left is automatic learned behaviour for coping and survival.
[...]
So for my self personally I've come to understand that I do need to take time out (because I'm only human and can only do so much), that understanding myself and what basic needs I have and am ignoring (rest, relaxation, beauty etc) are important, and being able to see both the horror and the beauty in context without forgetting the other. That last part was particularly hard to grasp and has to do with black and white thinking - which again if you understand it comes from unprocessed trauma and not some sort of irresolvable fault in yourself.
The things I went through personally I always saw as minor or nothing compared to other peoples daily suffering - and I always felt extremely selfish if I went there. Turns out it was actually fear of facing my own pain and acknowledging how much of an impact it had actually had - turns out it was a lot! I can look back and see how much of my behaviour I tried desperately to change was a result of this, and hasn't been able to change until I got past the idea I was worthless and the courage to go look at my wounds objectively that I could start to change/see things more clearly.

These are just a few points that really hit home although for me it all has a theoretical taste still, I recognize symptoms but do not seem to be able to feel the reality of the situation.
I know the feelings that precede dissociation and I have learnt the specific triggers that throw me in it. And heck all I can think now is that I've seen this film unfold so many times. I'm sick of it but I know I can't do anything to change it. At least not without introducing some new methods and most importantly, outside help.

 

[Eva]

So, the conclusion I have come to after a few days of thinking about it is that "whatever gets you through the night" is sometimes necessary. The problem only arises when people focus only on that to the exclusion of reality. I don't think that members of this forum do that.

I agree. I think there are probably several reasons why people search for this kind of experience. For example, I know plenty of people who just like the 'feel-good' aspect. It warms the cockles of their hearts, but they're not actively seeking an objective understanding of the world and what goes on here. Some are even actively excluding such information from entering their minds (e.g., 'the news is too depressing!" or "it doesn't affect MY life"). Then there are those for whom it reminds them why they do what the do, what is ideal and what is possible, even if it's lacking in the world at large. The positive emotion induced by such things can act as an attractor or motivator to keep up the fight, OSIT. Then there are the people who have suffered so much that they just need some relief. A lifetime of mechanical suffering can battle-harden a person to the point where they just accept that life is like that -- almost endless suffering -- and the only break they have is to experience little pockets of goodness in the form of videos and stuff like that.

I'm not sure which SOTT article some of you were talking about but I saw the dead children in the Yemen drone strike one. At first I just shut down the page completely. Then I came back to the article and read but kept the picture scrolled up out of view purposely. Later, after I was done reading I looked at the picture and I felt such immense anger building up in me, I wanted to scream or hit the screen. I censored that anger because I despise it, it's what horrible people do, they become angry and violent and god I don't want to hurt this world anymore than it is already hurt. Then the familiar helplessness settled in, I was just staring at that picture looking at their faces closely and thinking they should be laughing and playing and growing up instead of laying there in the dirt. I cried and cried because there was nothing else to do.
This may be one mental process behind accepting life as endless suffering.

 

[Eva]

It just highlights the fact that the world is so bleak and that people feel so helpless that they have turned to a sort of 'hope and goodness' voyeurism. By doing this regularly, and experiencing these feelings by proxy and projection, I think people nurture a more distant and impersonal way of experiencing positive (and negative) emotions. In fact, I think it's pretty much emotional porn, and it can become an addiction.

This video as well as the cancer patients one were both recommended by FB friends and I didn't click on them thinking there's no time for this. Yet, when I saw this here I watched it. There were things in the narrative that I didn't care for at all, but the nature photographs were stunning and they reached a place in me that longs for this beauty.

There's simply no nature around me to marvel at, I have a minuscule bit of sky to look at from my flat and when I'm outside there are only scarce, precious moments that I can take the time to look above and remember the vastness that surrounds us and the fragility of this beautiful blue sky that we take for granted. There are no warm and honest relationships in my life, warm yes but not honest.
So, there's not a lot to hold on to except for the different goals I set for myself and randomly helping people whenever and wherever I can. This is what keeps me going and it is also what throws me off the cliff when I realize that everything I do is in vain, random, not helpfull one bit except for making things a bit more bearable for others momentarily.

Maybe the nasty trick in these videos is coupling a basic need, being in nature and celebrating her beauty, with narratives that have nothing to do with the situation the world is in. I mean, if it was just the narrative how many of us would have found it beautiful? I know I wouldn't.

So, perhaps for us here it comes down to choosing wisely what kind of "break" to take? Some "fun" things we do for others, and not so much for ourselves. Sometimes we get to enjoy them, even. Some other things we do to take a "break" that is not really for the sake of a break, but to breathe, process what we've learned, and keep going (like, say, listen to good melodic music). Others we do because they have a therapeutic benefit (like singing together). But it all depends on the intent behind it. Is it to escape from reality, is it to bring a tiny bit of happiness to those who are suffering, is it to recuperate a bit before going back the "the battlefield"? Etc.

That it all depends on the intent sounds right. And maybe an insidious way to dissociate into the feel-good illusion, whichever way it sneaks in for each person, is not accepting that we DO need to recuperate and stretching our limits until automatism reclaims its reign and what should have been recuperation becomes escapism because it was never defined clearly in the first place.
If the first step was not the conscious decision to take a break there can be no way to chose wisely what sort of break it will be.
I hope that makes some sense.

 

[Gwenllian]

You can't truly face the horrors of the world if you don't face the emotions and causative effect your personal horrors have had on you - or at least this is my current understanding. Heck I didn't even think what I'd been through was horrific, but it was. And because of that view I never acknowledged the impact it had on me.

I agree. I would also say that we have to "face the emotions and causative effect" our personal horrors have had on us and on others.
It may sound strange, but my past (including childhood) has made it easier to face the horrors of the world. When I could stare the truth about my childhood (or bits of it) in the face it became easier to recognise the pathology of institutions for example (this was years before I found the forum). But I could only see so much and the bigger picture was still out of reach. The almost constant input of knowledge here on the forum has led me to where I am today, which made me realise I had to find help from a therapist again.
I am still processing past events, because I know and feel that they keep me from moving on (literally and figuratively). At the same time this processing allows me to mix knowledge with experience, for which I am very grateful. Hope this is clear. :/
FWIW.

Thank you all for this wonderful thread.

 

[Redrock12]

Just for clarification. I'm sorry if it irritated anyone here or equates to noise.
Certainly wasn't my intention in posting it.

Glad you posted it Lisa. The discussion it has generated has caused me to look at myself more objectively and with greater clarity.
Seeing beauty has a place in our lives, but, imo, it should not be used as an opiate or distraction to avoid seeing the other face of god.
Or to see myself as I really am.
fwiw

 

[Joe]

I experience a disconnect with these kinds of videos. On the one hand I find many of the images beautiful and inspiring, but then I think of the times when I'm actually viewing a similar image in person and I don't have the same experience. It makes me wonder if I'm just to distracted in the moment to appreciate the wonders of nature that are depicted in these videos, or if the videos and images themselves are an artificial representation of the actual reality and that they provoked an 'artificial' emotion.

 

[Lisa Guliani]

I'd like to apologize to everybody for posting these videos on the forum. My thinking in doing so was to post something that would generate discussion, and yeah, they do have things about them that provoked a 'good' feeling at the time (for me), but in reading through the comment responses to them, I can see that they're not really appropriate for this forum, which is supposed to be about doing the Work. So, I think I owe everybody a big apology for not thinking and not expressing myself clearly enough.

And, while I do think 'gratitude' is a powerful sentiment, it does matter how it's expressed, or in what way it's conveyed, even the words used, because dependent upon those things, it can sometimes convey a different message, and these kinds of videos seem to be aimed at generating some type of gushy, emotional response in people. Including me! It's difficult not to look at them with THAT in mind, and not see that. However, I did not have that perspective in mind when I posted them, or how they might be perceived by others, or what that might convey to others about MY state of mind. I should have been thinking more, but instead I got sucked into the gushy stuff and looking at pretty flowers for a few minutes, and then posted.

I didn't think deeply enough beyond the video's 'feel-good' aspect, or what was really being conveyed, and I should have.
Again, I'm sorry for doing so, but I do appreciate the discussion that has ensued because of it.
It's teaching me something important, and a reminder to think more carefully about what I want to post, BEFORE posting it, not after.

Thank you all for the feedback.

 

[Lan8r]

Just catching up on this thread and want to say, I very much enjoyed this video. I enjoy time lapsed photography. Whether it be a beautiful flower blooming or a volcano erupting. It kinda puts the whole 'time' thing into a better perspective. As far as the title 'Gratitude: Today is a gift', well I am cynical. Certainly the Universe 'gifts' us with lessons and opportunities, but it seems that we made a choice (on some level) to be here now. I do agree that everyone has a story. Maybe in the case of a psychopath it might be book filled with blank pages, but for the average 'normal' person it may be a volume of suffering. Apparently this is the planet/realm were our lessons come in the form of suffering. It is heartbreaking that there are those that can't empathize with the suffering of the many 'normal' humans across the globe, or acknowledge the cause of our suffering. And it is sad that so many would prefer to dissociate with a 'don't worry, be happy', 'life is a gift', 'it's all good' kinda thinking.

But there is so much to be learned from Nature, not all pleasant, but symbiotic and at times beautiful. And sometimes you just gotta laugh at the irony. Nature will humble you. And sometimes you just gotta feel the beauty, the hope, the possibility. Cuz Nature can crush you.

I guess what I am trying to say is that maybe there can be something beneficial in a 'feel good' moment, because it is very easy to get bogged down and loose heart when you see reality. Or so I think.

 

[caballero reyes]

This video reminded me a pleasant experience I had on a trip I made to the south of mexico. Traveling by train, in the distance I saw a flowery field, as the train approached, Flowers flew. An extraordinary impression because they were not flowers but butterflies resting on crops. This happened near the sanctuary of monarch butterflies in Michoacan state, Mexico.

Lisa, thanks for sharing.

 

[Keit]

I experience a disconnect with these kinds of videos. On the one hand I find many of the images beautiful and inspiring, but then I think of the times when I'm actually viewing a similar image in person and I don't have the same experience. It makes me wonder if I'm just to distracted in the moment to appreciate the wonders of nature that are depicted in these videos, or if the videos and images themselves are an artificial representation of the actual reality and that they provoked an 'artificial' emotion.

I also find such imagery moving. The same is with inspirational movies. But there is indeed a disconnect between them and reality. I tried to understand why it affects me in such a way, and the only thing that came to mind was, that it's a longing for what might or could have been. That this strong emotion they evoke doesn't have anything to do with what is happening now, but with what deeply in my heart I would really want to experience or be part of. That's why such videos are also extremely sad, because clearly our reality is very far away (if not completely lost) from experiencing something genuine as what is depicted in the videos. And that's something that should be kept in mind.

 

[MK Scarlett]

I experience a disconnect with these kinds of videos. On the one hand I find many of the images beautiful and inspiring, but then I think of the times when I'm actually viewing a similar image in person and I don't have the same experience. It makes me wonder if I'm just to distracted in the moment to appreciate the wonders of nature that are depicted in these videos, or if the videos and images themselves are an artificial representation of the actual reality and that they provoked an 'artificial' emotion.

I also find such imagery moving. The same is with inspirational movies. But there is indeed a disconnect between them and reality. I tried to understand why it affects me in such a way, and the only thing that came to mind was, that it's a longing for what might or could have been. That this strong emotion they evoke doesn't have anything to do with what is happening now, but with what deeply in my heart I would really want to experience or be part of. That's why such videos are also extremely sad, because clearly our reality is very far away (if not completely lost) from experiencing something genuine as what is depicted in the videos. And that's something that should be kept in mind.

Thanks Keit for putting this with your words, they echo my own thoughts having followed the thread. Also thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts.

 

[Gwenllian]

I'd like to apologize to everybody for posting these videos on the forum. My thinking in doing so was to post something that would generate discussion, and yeah, they do have things about them that provoked a 'good' feeling at the time (for me), but in reading through the comment responses to them, I can see that they're not really appropriate for this forum, which is supposed to be about doing the Work. So, I think I owe everybody a big apology for not thinking and not expressing myself clearly enough.

And, while I do think 'gratitude' is a powerful sentiment, it does matter how it's expressed, or in what way it's conveyed, even the words used, because dependent upon those things, it can sometimes convey a different message, and these kinds of videos seem to be aimed at generating some type of gushy, emotional response in people. Including me! It's difficult not to look at them with THAT in mind, and not see that. However, I did not have that perspective in mind when I posted them, or how they might be perceived by others, or what that might convey to others about MY state of mind. I should have been thinking more, but instead I got sucked into the gushy stuff and looking at pretty flowers for a few minutes, and then posted.

I didn't think deeply enough beyond the video's 'feel-good' aspect, or what was really being conveyed, and I should have.
Again, I'm sorry for doing so, but I do appreciate the discussion that has ensued because of it.
It's teaching me something important, and a reminder to think more carefully about what I want to post, BEFORE posting it, not after.

Thank you all for the feedback.

The way I see it; the discussion about this video has produced this great thread!

I did wonder why you would post a TED talk. I have banned TED from my list of videos. ;) They are a little too smooth and slick and I have looked upon them with suspicion ever since that moment that Bill Gates and his wife were among the speakers and I heard that Billy even released some GM mosquitoes at one point during his talk.

 

[l apprenti de forgeron]

I've noticed the trend lately of posting these kind of videos and I think it's sad more than anything. The first one that made me really think about it was one going around on FB that showed several short clips of people doing kind things for other people, like helping some strange person on the street up after he fell. I have to admit that I got a little teary eyed myself when I watched it, but then I realized how sad and pathetic it was that such simple acts of common human decency were seen by so many as 'astonishing' and how many people latched onto it as proof that there is 'good' in other people. Other people and other things, out there somewhere. To make it worse, I think the other people were actors!

Yes, some videos gave me that feeling too. Imitations of what would be normal.
The denial of the negative side of life, "the awful names of God", must have religious and pathological origin. People usually do not tolerate stress, ok, but is that the denial of evil is institutionalized, and death too (the personal one). How, for example, the monotheistic religions have ceased to be apocalyptic, and catastrophic science be apart. If you forsee evil may generate less stress, therefore deny pathological evil that happens, produce more suffering in reality. That's why it's not allowed these predictions in the "realm of the possible" cultural. I really think it is not simple to see all aspects of life simultaneously, but doing the work (if I really am doing that), energizes.

It just highlights the fact that the world is so bleak and that people feel so helpless that they have turned to a sort of 'hope and goodness' voyeurism. By doing this regularly, and experiencing these feelings by proxy and projection, I think people nurture a more distant and impersonal way of experiencing positive (and negative) emotions. In fact, I think it's pretty much emotional porn, and it can become an addiction.

Then many Christians are possibly addicted, and across the West. And how Christianity really did not allowed us to "digest" the evil in life, not seeing, much less study it. I was thinking more about it lately, the differences between Caesar and the biblical jesus, eg. And really, besides the post- mortem salvation, I think what made the masses venerate the invention of jesus was unconditional love. Love without limits. Cosmic Love. No distinctions, pure love for all. And normal people are thirsty for love, then and now. That love does not discriminate which felt seemed to fill the lack, the great need for human souls, made ​​everyone kneel before love (rather than the promises of immortality, the "mystery ", which also contributed obviously). And most interesting is that love not really fills the soul. That love was just another promise and evil was enlarged . That love is not real. Why? Because is obvious that the character of Jesus is an idiot ( this shows the evil agenda of the psychopathic, make of Caesar an idiot ). And it's really an idiot because don't have tact or anything (a false be). From a great man they made this literary monster. And if people can not realize that "Jesus" was really stupid it's because people projected grandeur and maturity in what sold to them, correcting it. If Caesar religion had remained unchanged, had been one with empathy, science and real love of a real human being, a love able to create big changes for the good of the people. Well, it would be another civilization...
On the projections and prayers of the people who go through 6 D still have to better understand the concept. It is very interesting, to say the least.

 

[l apprenti de forgeron]

I also find such imagery moving. The same is with inspirational movies. But there is indeed a disconnect between them and reality. I tried to understand why it affects me in such a way, and the only thing that came to mind was, that it's a longing for what might or could have been. That this strong emotion they evoke doesn't have anything to do with what is happening now, but with what deeply in my heart I would really want to experience or be part of. That's why such videos are also extremely sad, because clearly our reality is very far away (if not completely lost) from experiencing something genuine as what is depicted in the videos. And that's something that should be kept in mind.

Thank you very much for sharing that, Keit. That also happen to me and probably to many more.
What could be and was not can also serve as motivation for service to the future(s) of humanity. We could not be in a truly human world, with empathy, with a human science (therefore also spiritually-esoteric), with love between sisters and brothers that have the same origin, right. But perhaps there will be some opportunity for people to come that inherit some of the work that is done here. Somehow sons always inherit their parents frustrations. It would be nice to also they receive the opportunity of doing what "before" could not be done and live it. Also that they learn the real, true and non-linear History.
May be this sound new-age or pure fantasy, and don't know how to carry it out either. Maybe I just talk to cover the despair generated by the horror of this world, but I think it is a good hope to feed.