Halloween costume ideas

[Beau]

To add to what anart has said, you have totally missed the point of what I wrote. Everything you say comes from your own selfish perspective on reality, a perspective that is so skewed that you cannot see where you are being very inconsiderate to others. You really judge harshly those who do not commit to the same "ideals" as your own, ideals which aren't even worth seeking but which you have convinced yourself are important. The majority of people that you frown upon and consider to be less than you are actually in a better position to see reality clearly in this world, at least they actually care about other people's feelings and don't cast judgment on others for doing what comes naturally.

That's what you don't understand, that people will do what they do, and if you can't allow that because you have chosen such a lofty and spiritual path, then you have gone down a path filled with self-importance and holier-than-thou attitudes which are contradictory to the Work we do here. I think anart is right in saying we are using a different dictionary than you. You just don't understand what it means to put yourself in someone else's shoes because you constantly require others to conform to your heavily skewed perspective. What is meaningless to you is important to others, and who are you to take that away from them?

 

[Erna]

I was actually just reading these Gurdjieff quotes in another thread, and thought it's applicable here. AngEvil, I know you haven't read Gurdjieff yet, so this might whet your appetite a little.

I find it right to say all truth, everything about you instantly, immediately, the first time you meet them. But you can’t do that because they would judge you because they have a very low level of understanding. This is how the world should be, where you can tell everything to anybody without any fear of being labeled in a way or another, without being judged because of some belief.

Very often a man desires sincerely to express or somehow or other show to
another man what he really thinks of him or feels about him. And if he is a
weak man he will of course give way to this desire and afterwards justify
himself and say that he did not want to lie, did not want to pretend, he
wanted to be sincere. Then he convinces himself that it was the other man's
fault. He really wanted to consider him, even to give way to him, not to
quarrel, and so on. But the other man did not at all want to consider him so
that nothing could be done with him.

External considering is based upon an entirely different relationship
towards people than internal considering. It is adaptation towards people,
to their understanding, to their requirements. By considering externally a
man does that which makes life easy for other people and for himself.
External considering requires a knowledge of men, an understanding of their
tastes, habits, and prejudices. At the same time external considering
requires a great power over oneself, a great control over oneself.

People do not realize what a big place in their lives is occupied by lying
or even if only by the suppression of the truth. People are unable to be
sincere either with themselves or with others. They do not even understand
that to learn to be sincere when it is necessary is one of the most
difficult things on earth. They imagine that to speak or not to speak the
truth, to be or not to be sincere, depends upon them. Therefore they have to
learn this and learn it first of all in relation to the teacher of the work.
Telling the teacher a deliberate lie, or being insincere with him, or
suppressing something, makes their presence in the group completely useless
and is even worse than being rude or uncivil to him or in his presence.

"As I have said already, one of the first demands is sincerity. But there
are different kinds of sincerity. There is clever sincerity and there is
stupid sincerity, just as there is clever insincerity and stupid
insincerity. Both stupid sincerity and stupid insincerity are equally
mechanical. But if a man wishes to learn to be cleverly sincere, he must be
sincere first of all with his teacher and with people who are senior to him
in the work. This will be 'clever sincerity.' But here it is necessary to
note that sincerity must not become 'lack of considering.' Lack of
considering in relation to the teacher or in relation to those whom the
teacher has appointed, as I have said already, destroys all possibility of
any work. If he wishes to learn to be cleverly insincere he must be
insincere about the work and he must learn to be silent when he ought to be
silent with people outside it, who can neither understand nor appreciate it.
But sincerity in the group is an absolute demand, because, if a man
continues to lie in the group in the same way as he lies to himself and to
others in life, he will never learn to distinguish the truth from a lie.

 

[John G]

I do understand how the common humans go to these parties, and the reason I am writing these things is because this forum is supposed to be at a “higher level”(please read until the end, I can imagine the eyebrows raised).

So as an uncommon human have you been to Ark's Quantum Future site yet so you can tell him where the errors in his physics papers are? Seriously, when Ark first came to the US, the Cs advised Laura to help Ark with selling himself the American way. Sometimes in 3rd density, 3rd density skills are needed! Many of these common people as you call them have skills that will be quite useful in the next five years. It can also be beneficial for you and those close to you to actually have some fun every now and then. Also as others said, do pay very close attention to the strategic enclosure and external consideration topics. If you want to contribute to any group you have to protect yourself and interact appropriately with others wherever they might be on their paths.

 

[AngEviL]

Anart you pointed me in the right direction, however it was unnecessary to say things such as "It must be very painful to be locked in such a mental prison as the one you have created with your skewed perceptions of the world." Now after you read more of my posts you already feel like predicting what will come next, probably something very similar and then you would say "Here we go again...". The External and Internal Considering and the Strategic Enclosure make a lot of sense and it's clear that the judgmental path that I followed in the past is wrong. This part is very insightful to me: "Only through having external considering can one serve others. This requires responsiveness and a sense of objectivity and awareness of what is right action for the given situation."

You mustn't be so quick to devalue what I would say in the future and say that I'm out of touch with reality in a way like my next posts would be worthless. I see that I was ignorant after reading those definitions, but I had to "push" forward to get to this point. You helped me more than I make it sound like, and I thank you. Regarding Halloween, Christmas and other celebrations the way I see it now should be about bringing positive energy and a smile on the others' face and that is something I always knew in my heart.

Heimdallr, you pointed out the same things as Anart and again I agree with your reasoning as well:
[quote author=Heimdallr]
That's what you don't understand, that people will do what they do, and if you can't allow that because you have chosen such a lofty and spiritual path, then you have gone down a path filled with self-importance and holier-than-thou attitudes which are contradictory to the Work we do here.
[/quote]
,but also please consider that I also have been more harsh then usual in my crusade against "normal humans" because I was super-charged with negative energy

Gurdjieff's quotes are very good and I thank you E for poiting them out to me. The part when he talked about clever and stupid sincerity and insincerity is very meaningful.

[quote author=Bluelamp]
[quote author=AngEviL]
I do understand how the common humans go to these parties, and the reason I am writing these things is because this forum is supposed to be at a “higher level”(please read until the end, I can imagine the eyebrows raised).
[/quote]

So as an uncommon human have you been to Ark's Quantum Future site yet so you can tell him where the errors in his physics papers are? Seriously, when Ark first came to the US, the Cs advised Laura to help Ark with selling himself the American way. Sometimes in 3rd density, 3rd density skills are needed! Many of these common people as you call them have skills that will be quite useful in the next five years. It can also be beneficial for you and those close to you to actually have some fun every now and then. Also as others said, do pay very close attention to the strategic enclosure and external consideration topics. If you want to contribute to any group you have to protect yourself and interact appropriately with others wherever they might be on their paths.
[/quote]
It is true that in this world we need to have some "3rd density skills" like you said, and that the common humans can bring a positive change. In order to make the world a better place any help is needed. Definitely, at the least I shouldn't spread negative energy, but I should also attempt to give to the world the positive kind. So then a normal reply to this thread would be "Agni, did you have fun ?". "Was it a relaxed mood and did everybody get along ?".

 

[anart]

Anart you pointed me in the right direction, however it was unnecessary to say things such as "It must be very painful to be locked in such a mental prison as the one you have created with your skewed perceptions of the world."

Why is it unnecessary? Because it shines a light on your suffering, and any approach to your emotions is unacceptable? I think the breathing and meditation program would benefit you greatly - though I'm not sure if you'll allow yourself that benefit.

Now after you read more of my posts you already feel like predicting what will come next, probably something very similar and then you would say "Here we go again...".

Nope, not at all. I've not predicted anything, I am simply pointing out what your written word evidences about your thought processes.

The External and Internal Considering and the Strategic Enclosure make a lot of sense and it's clear that the judgmental path that I followed in the past is wrong. This part is very insightful to me: "Only through having external considering can one serve others. This requires responsiveness and a sense of objectivity and awareness of what is right action for the given situation."

True.

You mustn't be so quick to devalue what I would say in the future and say that I'm out of touch with reality in a way like my next posts would be worthless.

I never stated that any post of yours is worthless. Is this what you think of your own posts when you aren't praised? If so, this would be evidence of 'black and white thinking' - which can be a result of narcissistic wounding. In fact, so can a sense of superiority, as the flip side of a sense of worthlessness. Your posts are not worthless.

I see that I was ignorant after reading those definitions, but I had to "push" forward to get to this point. You helped me more than I make it sound like, and I thank you.

I must admit that I find it incongruous that you thank me after the bulk of what you had written to me is scolding me for not writing what you wanted me to write. This could be an attempt to deflect after stating how you really felt, or just a sign that you are conflicted. It's difficult to tell at this point. I'm glad you had to 'push' forward - this is always, in my experience, a good thing.

 

[AngEviL]

[quote author=anart]
[quote author=ae]
Anart you pointed me in the right direction, however it was unnecessary to say things such as "It must be very painful to be locked in such a mental prison as the one you have created with your skewed perceptions of the world."[/quote]

Why is it unnecessary? Because it shines a light on your suffering, and any approach to your emotions is unacceptable? I think the breathing and meditation program would benefit you greatly - though I'm not sure if you'll allow yourself that benefit.
[/quote]
You're right that I suffer because of my loneliness, but I saw that sentence like a subtle derogatory term, but I know now based on what you just said that you were honest. I do want to do the breathing program and I will shortly, I will try in the next days. I couldn't do it up to this point because I felt too clouded in my head, I couldn't concentrate.

[quote author=anart]

You mustn't be so quick to devalue what I would say in the future and say that I'm out of touch with reality in a way like my next posts would be worthless.

I never stated that any post of yours is worthless. Is this what you think of your own posts when you aren't praised? If so, this would be evidence of 'black and white thinking' - which can be a result of narcissistic wounding. In fact, so can a sense of superiority, as the flip side of a sense of worthlessness. Your posts are not worthless.
[/quote]
I said that because I imagined how you would imagine what my next post would be like. I imagined how you would think that my future post would be just like the previous one, and you would have the preconception that it is worthless to reply to me anymore, as you can't have an objective discussion with me from your point of view. And I didn't look for praise, but I am glad you care about what I wrote. I care about what you replied to me.

[quote author=anart]

I see that I was ignorant after reading those definitions, but I had to "push" forward to get to this point. You helped me more than I make it sound like, and I thank you.

I must admit that I find it incongruous that you thank me after the bulk of what you had written to me is scolding me for not writing what you wanted me to write. This could be an attempt to deflect after stating how you really felt, or just a sign that you are conflicted. It's difficult to tell at this point. I'm glad you had to 'push' forward - this is always, in my experience, a good thing.
[/quote]
I may say things wrong, and I was wrong a lot, but I do say what I think and I am honest about my thoughts and feelings. Above wall I want to better myself, and I don't feel the need to "settle" on my old believes. Some of the things I believed for years have just been shattered in minutes. Your posts helped me do that, and I thanked/thank you for it.

I am still curious agni how the party went, but I think you will get a headache when you will find your thread hijacked like this. I didn’t mean any harm !

 

[Renaissance]

The majority of people that you frown upon and consider to be less than you are actually in a better position to see reality clearly in this world, at least they actually care about other people's feelings and don't cast judgment on others for doing what comes naturally.

I agree. If you could actually see yourself AngEvil, if you ever do actually get even a glimpse of yourself, the sense of superiority you feel would come crashing down around you. That it remains as strongly as it does is proof that you do not see yourself at all. It appears much of your 'evolving' has actually done quite a bit of damage to your self and probably to others. It doesn't matter one bit that you are informed of the conspiracies of 9/11 or any of the other data you've filled your brain with. To be informed does not make you awake. Plenty of psychopaths are informed of what is going on in the world. What makes you different than them? You share the same disdain for people that is notorious in psychopaths. I'm not saying you are a psychopath, but pointing out an area of thought that's infected with pathological thinking. Martha Stout wrote The Sociopath Next Door; in it she includes rules to deal with the everyday psychopath. One of her rules is:

Defend your psyche

Do not allow someone without conscience, or even a string of such people to convince you that humanity is a failure. Most human beings do possess a conscience. Most are able to love.

How you regard others and your relationships with others matters. The more connected you are with yourself, the more easily you can connect with others. That you have such a hard time with people shows just how disconnected you are with yourself. It must be a very lonely to have such arrogance, to be so disconnected from others. Although I wouldn't doubt if lonely feelings are easily quashed with the rush and high of superiority. If you can allow yourself to feel your loneliness, then you might be on the right track. Humanity is in really bad shape right now, but as Stout writes, we are not a failure. To think we are (and I write 'we' purposely because you, me, members of this forum and Joe six-pack are in the same boat here) is to give up your mind to psychopathic thinking.

For a long time I really didn't like socializing with people. Some of it came from a superiority complex like what you've mentioned. Small talk seemed completely and utterly useless. But it was me who didn't get it. I didn't get that small talk makes people feel comfortable or that small talk is the beginning of making a connect to another. It allows for further connects to be made at deeper levels if the relationship is to develop. It can be a start towards building empathy. So, I'd suggest to start making small talk with others the next time the opportunity presents itself. Gurdjieff describes how the Work has to begin at an ordinary level, the level of 'common people' for whom you feel such contempt. In order to get over your superiority you'll need to find just how valuable it is to be common. In some time maybe you will see just how much richness being normal and ordinary can bring. As has been said, your life is a reflection of who you are.

Here's a passage from In Search of the Miraculous that describes the need for the ordinary:

Obyvatel is a strange word in the Russian language. It is used in the sense of 'inhabitant,' without any particular shade. At the same time it is used to express contempt or derision--'obyvatel'--as though there could be nothing worse. But those who speak in this way do not understand that the obyvatel is the healthy kernel of life. And from the point of view of the possibility of evolution, a good obyvatel has many more chances than a 'lunatic' or a 'tramp.' Afterwards I will perhaps explain what I mean by these two words. In the meantime we will talk about the obyvatel. I do not at all wish to say that all obyvatels are people of the objective way. Nothing of the kind. Among them are thieves, rascals, and fools; but there are others. I merely wish to say that being a good obyvatel by itself does not hinder the 'way.' And finally there are different types of obyvatel. Imagine, for example, the type of obyvatel who lives all his life just as the other people round him, conspicuous in nothing, perhaps a good master, who makes money, and is perhaps even close-fisted. At the same time he dreams all his life of monasteries, for instance, and dreams that some time or other he will leave everything and go into a monastery. And such things happen in the East and in Russia. A man lives and works, then, when his children or his grandchildren are grown up, he gives everything to them and goes into a monastery. This is the obyvatel of which I speak. Perhaps he does not go into a monastery, perhaps he does not need this. His own life as an obyvatel can be his way.

People who are definitely thinking about ways, particularly people of intellectual ways, very often look down on the obyvatel and in general despise the virtues of the obyvatel. But they only show by this their own personal unsuitability for any way whatever. Because no way can begin from a level lower than the obyvatel. This is very often lost sight of on people who are unable to organize their own personal lives, who are too weak to struggle with and conquer life, dream of the ways, or what they consider are ways, because they think it will be easier for them than life and because this, so to speak, justifies their weakness and inadaptability. A man who can be a good obyvatel is much more helpful from the point of view of the way than a 'tramp' who thinks himself much higher than an obyvatel. I call 'tramps' all the so-called 'intelligentsia'--artists, poets, any kind of 'bohemian' in general, who despises the obyvatel and who at the same time would be unable to exist without him. Ability to orientate oneself in life is a very useful quality from the point of view of the work. A good obyvatel should be able to support at least twenty persons by his own labor. What is a man worth who is unable to do this?"

"What does obyvatel actually mean?" asked somebody. "Can it be said that an obyvatel is a good citizen?"

"Ought an obyvatel to be patriotic?" someone else asked. "Let us suppose there is war. What attitude should an obyvatel have towards war?"

"There can be different wars and there can be different patriots," said G. "You all still believe in words. An obyvatel, if he is a good obyvatel, does not believe in words. He realizes how much idle talk is hidden behind them. People who shout about their patriotism are psychopaths for him and he looks upon them as such."

"And how would an obyvatel look upon pacifists or upon people who refuse to go to the war?"

"Equally as lunatics! They are probably still worse."

 

[AngEviL]

It is getting late and I have a hard time putting my thoughts in sentences now, but I would feel guilty if I would leave it until tomorrow. I also feel guilty because too much talk has been about me. Thank you Los for the post, but I will try to keep my reply short because I feel too guilty about writing about myself so much. I agree that there is a difference between having the knowledge and using it in a meaningful way. My "evolving" did damage to me and others, but I always had good intentions, and I wanted to do good in the world. I could only get to this point by having the previous life experiences. Everything that happened to me so far brought me to this point, where I posted in these forums so I could understand. Also when I hurt others I did try to make up for it and still do. I have been aware that this "dark energy" is similar to what psychopaths feel like, and I despised what I was when I wasn't under its influence, but when I was I cherished it.

I didn't have a hard time socializing or making relationships with others like you think.. not exactly like being socially awkward. I can and I did talk normally with people, but I saw them as insects, as animals, and I kept the conversation to a minimum. I can't tell if it also happened because I am disconnected with myself because indeed I am disconnected with myself, so when I will be connected with myself I will be able to tell the difference. Regarding human-kind as a whole it I understand now that small-talk contributes to bringing forth positive energy. And not only small-talk, but any gatherings, and parties. But you have to consider that these days, especially young people hang out in a destructive way, and it is getting worse. While I do see the benefit of people getting together, these days that benefit diminishes, and it's best if those people would have never done anything.

It's very easy to see it downtown, all the college students making mocking expressions towards each other, insulting each other, getting in fights just because they didn't like how they've been called, interested only in one-night stands, feeling superior, and with no desire whatsoever to learn anything. And what do young people do at Christmas or at any other party ? They take drugs, get drunk, have sex and overall behave disrespectful and uncaringly with one another. There is only negative energy out of it. But I do see myself how far I went in chastising common people, and while I do it I bring negative energy in the world and I remain “common” too in my soul. Also great quote Los and it made me think.

 

[knowledge_of_self]

Hello,

I have some comments and observations I’d like to add.

It is getting late and I have a hard time putting my thoughts in sentences now, but I would feel guilty if I would leave it until tomorrow.

My advice, whenever you feel the way you have described in the above, hold off on posting. Take a break, rest, meditate, and sleep on it. Let your mind take in the responses given to you and really think about it if you truly want to work on yourself. There is no time limit on when you should respond, so don’t worry about it :)

I also feel guilty because too much talk has been about me. Thank you Los for the post, but I will try to keep my reply short because I feel too guilty about writing about myself so much.

I think this shines a bit of light about how/what you think of yourself. Earlier, you projected on Anart your thoughts of her thinking your posts were “worthless”. And now, you feel guilty because the thread has geared towards you. When the fact is, you made some bold statements in your first response, which were bound to get responses and attract attention. So why feel guilty for interacting? I think this may be a "predator" that is scared of being discovered if more light is shined on it. It's trying to make you feel guilty, when there is nothing to feel guilty about.

Regarding human-kind as a whole it I understand now that small-talk contributes to bringing forth positive energy. And not only small-talk, but any gatherings, and parties. But you have to consider that these days, especially young people hang out in a destructive way, and it is getting worse. While I do see the benefit of people getting together, these days that benefit diminishes, and it's best if those people would have never done anything.


It's very easy to see it downtown, all the college students making mocking expressions towards each other, insulting each other, getting in fights just because they didn't like how they've been called, interested only in one-night stands, feeling superior, and with no desire whatsoever to learn anything. And what do young people do at Christmas or at any other party ? They take drugs, get drunk, have sex and overall behave disrespectful and uncaringly with one another. There is only negative energy out of it.

But I do see myself how far I went in chastising common people, and while I do it I bring negative energy in the world and I remain “common” too in my soul. Also great quote Los and it made me think.

In the above, I feel as if you are once again projecting your own negative perceptions/judgements on people. You claim that you understand that you have done so, yet you continue justifying your statements with,

But you have to consider that these days, especially young people hang out in a destructive way

When you say this, you seem to be once again "chastising" while claiming to understand it's something you shouldn't be doing, which is contradictory imo.

Also, have you ever heard the expression, is the cup half full or half empty? Well it seems, when it comes to social interactions you are always looking at the cup half empty. You have to understand that what you are describing in the above is all kinds of feeding dynamics and YOU contribute to the feeding dynamics as much as everybody else when you are unfamiliar with your false self/negative introject and what YOU bring into the picture. Which again ties into what anart was saying earlier.

Your life is a reflection of who you are.

 

[AngEviL]

Deedlet, I feel guilty because I am aware I am not at the center of the universe when the arrogance has less or no effect on me. And I do worry about my responses because I have to do my share of work. I see myself participating in the forums, as doing "the work" to true enlightenment, and the first step to get the demons out is to put them into broad daylight. But there isn't anything more than that in feeling guilty, and it is the opposite of being the "predator". Also I am not used to people getting involved so much in helping me and it has to do with what I thought about the "common humans". I vilified them so much, I had so much hate for these celebrations of Halloween and Christmas and it was a continuous downward spiral. I feel guilty because I begin to see myself as I am and because before I posted in these forums I placed you all in the same "pot of hate". I've been very wrong because I see that I am definitely not superior to any of you, but on the contrary, you are on a higher stepping-stone by fighting your inner predator.

It's hard to psychologically stop hating something I hated with passion for 7 years, but I am trying my best. I've been aware for a long time that I see the cup half-empty instead of half-full but I didn't see a reason to change my perception as I said to myself "It's half-empty not half-full, it is what I believe in and I see things as they are so I'm right". But I realize now I don't see reality in an objective way. Getting rid of the hate cut a hole in my soul now, but that hole has been pressuring me against my brain for years. Now I feel relieved, like I've been caring a heavy stone on my back, and now much of it has disappeared. Regarding the cosmic energy, it makes sense that negative energy only makes it worse, no matter the reason for why it has been brought in the world. I see that I can't fight evil by using evil's weapons...

 

[bjorb]

-Hi AngEvil

I saw it in many posts of yours. What you mean with trivial I guess you see it as distraction. That there are more important issues to deal with it. Well surely there is. But you just missed one. The most important one. Yourself.

You don’t seem to know the difference between STS and STO

With that also how ponerized you appear.

It’s relevant. It truly is.

And… If I remember correctly, today you will start reading ‘The Wave series’ Don’t forget that.


-Deedlet

http://www.cosplay.com/costumes/s37511

Something like this? :P

 

[knowledge_of_self]

Deedlet, I feel guilty because I am aware I am not at the center of the universe when the arrogance has less or no effect on me. And I do worry about my responses because I have to do my share of work. I see myself participating in the forums, as doing "the work" to true enlightenment, and the first step to get the demons out is to put them into broad daylight.

While participating on the forum is an essential part of the Work, a more important aspect is working on the self. One way to do this more efficiently, is by reading all the provided reading material on psychology and of course the Wave, etc.. to get a better handle on what everyone tries to communicate to you here. Reading more will result in your “dictionary” improving so there is less chance of a feeding dynamic in your interactions on the forum.

But there isn't anything more than that in feeling guilty, and it is the opposite of being the "predator".

Try and understand that the “predator” is almost always active in us, especially when we don’t know ourselves as well as we think we do.

Also I am not used to people getting involved so much in helping me and it has to do with what I thought about the "common humans".

This could also be a result of being traumatized in your youth. Not being heard by our parents/peers often results in surprise, when others show empathy and caring towards us in the future. When it is something common place and not ‘special’ in anyway. It is how “normal” human beings are supposed to interact with one another. If you read, Myth of Sanity and Trapped in the Mirror, you will become more familiar with these topics.

It's hard to psychologically stop hating something I hated with passion for 7 years, but I am trying my best.

I understand what you mean. I recently went through the same thing—an emotional reaction—to the word “church” and “religion” when I found out about FOTCM. But I understand that it was an emotional reaction caused by my false self/predator that holds in contempt anything associated with the word “church” or “religion” due to past negative experience. And that I was not at all being externally considerate in understanding the MEANING behind those words, the TRUE meaning. It was hard because I had hated anything affiliated with those words for longer than 7 years, so I reacted to the news about FOTCM.

Getting rid of the hate cut a hole in my soul now, but that hole has been pressuring me against my brain for years. Now I feel relieved, like I've been caring a heavy stone on my back, and now much of it has disappeared.

The more you do the work—getting to know yourself through reading/analyzing the more you will see the psychopathic veil lifting from your eyes. This is just the beginning- However, you should consider that the hate is what carved the hole in your soul in the first place, and now you have begun to mend it. If you begin to do the breathing exercises and POTS, it will help extremely with emotional cleansing osit.

-Deedlet

http://www.cosplay.com/costumes/s37511

Something like this?

Yes, yes! Except I refuse to buy my costumes from amazon/ebay or anywhere online because most of the time they don’t fit right, so it’s just a waste of money. The people on the site you showed most if not all make their own costumes that’s why they look so good :P

 

[Beau]

Regarding human-kind as a whole it I understand now that small-talk contributes to bringing forth positive energy. And not only small-talk, but any gatherings, and parties. But you have to consider that these days, especially young people hang out in a destructive way, and it is getting worse. While I do see the benefit of people getting together, these days that benefit diminishes, and it's best if those people would have never done anything.

It's very easy to see it downtown, all the college students making mocking expressions towards each other, insulting each other, getting in fights just because they didn't like how they've been called, interested only in one-night stands, feeling superior, and with no desire whatsoever to learn anything. And what do young people do at Christmas or at any other party ? They take drugs, get drunk, have sex and overall behave disrespectful and uncaringly with one another. There is only negative energy out of it.

The C's once replied to a question, "STO does not determine the needs of others". That is exactly what you have been doing. We are all on different locations on the learning cycle. It's clear you still have a lot to learn, despite you feeling that avoiding all the above "pointless interactions" were getting you somewhere on the spiritual path. Your attitude towards your fellow man sounds much more like a recluse who hates the world because it does not give him what he wants. But you base your judgments on what you see, and their is more to the world than what has been shown to your eyes. It would be better if you stopped thinking you know anything about the world, and started over with trust in the universe to give you the lessons that you need.

 

[AngEviL]

I just got and I am starting to read Myth of Sanity by Martha Stout before the Wave Series because forum members mentioned that it should be first. However I will read the Wave series after, and a great deal of other books, including Gurdjieff, and maybe get to read works by his students, then Fulcanelli and other books/writers I am not yet aware of yet. I am excited about reading them, and I wish I would have more free time. All the advice and observations are sinking in, but it tired me physically and psychologically.

It makes sense that the predator acts when one is unaware of the inner-workings of his or her soul. I am glad you shared your experience with the FOTCM church Deedlet because it makes me feel more strongly that I have hope. I will do the breathing exercises very shortly, in the next days, and I am excited about and I feel that I desperately need a "cleansing". Thank you Deedlet, bjorn and Heimdallr for guiding me. Now I feel like I am out of words, like I can't form any intelligent thoughts because of this empty hole which keeps growing as the arrogance, superiority, ignorance and hate goes away. Fortunately my parents have been good to me in my youth, and while I had some traumatizing events, they are nothing compared to what others have been through(but I know, I still have to fix them). I realize that I have a lot of work to do within myself, and the more things I realize about me, the bigger of a task it seems. Regarding this thread... I don't hold any more contempt regarding Halloween and other celebrations. It is painful now for me to think how much hate I had about the people going to parties... and I realize that the hate was what damaged me the most.

When I look back I see immense black clouds of negative energy. A few months ago there was a person that told me that she felt my immense negative energy coming from me but I dismissed her. I mean.. I knew that I was "sick" and this is why I started posting here, but I had no idea just how much work it has to be done within me. I know Heimdallr that I hated the world very much, but it started out of the desire to do good. And another problem was that I didn't trust the world or the universe to go in a good path, and what I saw was imminent destruction. I am trying to trust the universe and the humanity more, that the forces of good will win. For the last 10 years I watched the degeneration of the world, and I realize that my negative energy fed it. I want to change that and it will take some time to get all the negative energy out, and even longer to get filled with the positive kind.

 

[agni]

[quote author=AngEviL]
Maybe the event passed already and my post isn't as relevant, but I am curious how the party went and what costume you chose. [/quote]

It was pretty cool. A lot of people were dressed up, some people showed their creative/artistic side & made costumes themselves, which looked very pretty. As for me, plans got foiled and I did not get a costume in time. My final choice was "Snakes in the suit". At least it's something I can explain, if I have to. May be next year, if Universe permits.

[quote author=AngEviL]
I also have to express my dislike for such events that mimic "bonding" between people. Actually the only reason that they exist(as you know already) is because the corporate world thinks that they will increase the productivity of the workers. Maybe they do, but it is sad that people "go on" wasting time on things that bring nothing to their inner development. And also Halloween is a cash cow for the companies that produce goods for it, as well as all the other holidays. I know this is off topic, but I always got so upset when people "gave away" things just because it was Christmas, or did something with their wife just because it is Sf. Valentines. Every day is equal, and it is an opportunity to offer love and help others.

However there is another category of people that aren't interested in these things, but don't confuse them for the ones that see the shallowness of this event. They are the ones that don't care about anything, and they are completely empty in their soul. They live their live simply to eat, sleep and to breed.

So I am sorry Agni that had to go to a this Halloween party.... and now you will have to endure the upcoming Christmas Party...
[/quote]

What an irony ! You attitude towards holidays somewhat mirrored my prior stance on it. I had similar attitude towards celebrations, but with a time I came to realization that there is nothing wrong with holidays, rather it was me projecting "how spiritual I am", where I was "too good to buy into fakeness". I did not take in consideration that I have created extra mask to supposedly show that I am not fake and when it was on I took it as my own face ! Question is: What it has to do with the holidays itself & people celebrating ?

Anyhow, others already provided you with valuable input & from what you write you've started to read suggested material. I hope you enjoy your journey !