Peter Jennings
The Force is Strong With This One
Though each tradition is diverse, different in its language and focus, I think those Eastern frameworks, as well as Western thought like Apostle Paul or the Fourth Way material, Jordan Peterson, etc., do describe an increasing alignment with the truth, the Light, or the Creator, as increasing real change in Being. And in dynamic ways. For me, this was well described in the C's discussion of building the antennae, creating a conduit, etc., or Laura's videos in her Course in Knowledge and Being series on YouTube. Aside from that, EEQT provides a framework for why the field shifts dynamically in response to increases in awareness as I mentioned above.
There's nothing special about all this in my opinion - it's just called learning. I don't do most of the stuff I used to do, not necessarily because it no longer works, but because it was sad, disgusting, or harmful.
There are many paths up the mountain, and your change seems to be catalyzed by a utilitarian analysis - 'it no longer works'. Fair enough. And now it sounds like you're trying to understand the mechanics of that. I would surmise that it worked for a while because you were part of the STS feeding hierarchy as described by Michael Topper. The masters of darkness are always rewarding people for their selfishness. Just look at billionaire oligarchs.
Now it doesn't work. That's cool, it's probably good for you. Why doesn't it work? Who knows. I could list any number of possibilities. With some things in life, there is no left-brain explanation, just that 'it was time'. As such, along with trying to understand the exact mechanics of your change would probably be well attenuated with just accepting that you don't know.
About seeing the smallest aim as triggering distortion, I would put the question to you - how do you know that this notion isn't coming from your Predator Mind? It's quite common for STS forces to generate spiritual breakthroughs - as Castaneda wrote, they generate flares of awareness in order to feed on that Light. Demons often masquerade as angels. Check out the book Masquerade of Angels for a particularly chilling account of that. Anyways, the point is that we do not know our own mind. So subjecting our thoughts and experiences - especially significantly positive ones - to scrutiny, is the only way to prevent us from falling prey to this. And accepting feedback from a network of others is the only way from preventing a spiritual realization from turning into a self-important, solipsistic trap.
On that note, you write that you went from selfish aims, and now you are considering pure, selfless aimlessness. A totalizing swing to the opposite is a common psychological response. I recognize that some people need to just hanging out in Being for a while. But this can also be an indication of black-and-white thinking, either/or thinking. I already raised this issue in your 'diet doesn't matter' idea. IMO, this will be a key issue for you to pay attention to in the future, as a hallmark of STO is to respond in a balanced way, and at least in this case, there's some degree of unbalanced thinking by way of strong identification with your own perspective.
And before you say, 'I don't want to talk about that' - then I suggest you put your newfound STO perspective to the test and let go of control of the conversation.
This is just a more subtle version of the same thing Jones did.
You’ve framed it such that if I don’t respond, it looks like avoidance, and if I do respond, I’m already accepting the premise that there’s something I need to defend or prove.
You’re free to think whatever you want about me.
What’s telling is that so many of the responses in this thread haven’t been about the actual ideas I've been describing. They’ve been framed as attempts to point out where I’m flawed as a person. Why is that what this has turned into?
I never presented myself as enlightened and I don't even accept that to be a real thing.