happyliza said:
obyvatel said:
I have just come across this thread and the method that you elaborated on IFS. Is anyone using this system? I certainly understood it better and much quicker that other methods to get to our main 'I'. So would be interested in getting some feedback before I may go off on the wrong tangent. It isn't so much the inner child part. More the terminology and method. However before I go off and try to get hold of the book I would like to know whether it is advisable to adopt this method as having read the whole thread there was little mention about the overall usefulness - mainly just why not to identify with inner child trauma etc.
What resonated with me is that I was really interested in doing hypnotherapy, and have done some study in that regard. The above method seems to use that same system - parts etc, to drill down, get permission etc to reach the root, cause, bypass the painful memories, blocks etc. Hypnotherapy can be a much quicker way to remove/be aware of the causes of trauma - as Laura has written about in much detail from her own extensive practise. So long as there is professional follow-up and one is lucky enough to have someone as experienced in the correct aspects for the client's requirements - example to lead or not to lead in certain instances.
So I liked the labels, as for me they were easy to remember, made perfect sense if the framework is used so self remember and 'identify' who or what is controlling - i.e. the many 'I's.
Hi HappyLiza -- In response to your question -- "Is anyone using this system?" -- below is my one experience using IFS. I do intend to use it again as I found it workable for me. So - FWIW and my 2 cents . . . .
* * *
I am finally able to post this experiment using IFS last August 5, 2013. Apologies for long delay.
This is what I’m able to recall from using the IFS process 8-1/2 months ago. I’m reconstructing this from memory since I tossed out the old journal book in which I wrote down the conversation process with one of my “Protectors”.
The “Protector” I worked with was “Hate” —which seems to connect, or hook into, “Anger” — another Protector.
Prior to reading this thread and experimenting with the IFS method, I had been doing the EE breathing & meditation exercises. In my initial EE meditation my “Anger” Protector disappeared.
My response was, “Oh No! I really need my Anger! That’s what protects me and prevents me from being run over and smashed to smithereens by predators!!”
No problem. The next day I got my “Anger” back. But it did feel like a major loss when it disappeared — and slightly worrisome that I’d lost it - even temporarily.
* * *
The most important point to remember throughout the IFS process is making sure I don’t lose my connection to the Internal Observer. To wit:
Unblending the Target Part. (In my case, the Target Part was “Hate”):
It is very easy to become identified with a Part that is activated, especially if the Part is accompanied by strong emotions. This identification is termed “blending” in IFS.
All the steps in IFS process require the Presence of an Internal Observer — the Self residing in the Seat-of-Consciousness of the Psyche. It is this Self who should observe the Target Part.
If the Target Part rather than the Self occupies the Seat-of-Consciousness, then one is identified with the Target Part (called “blending” in IFS). Then it becomes necessary to “Un-Blend” oneself from the Target Part in order to identify with the Internal Observer.
Blending occurs when the Person starts speaking in the First Person. Instead of saying, “This Part is angry”, the Person says “I am angry.”
* * *
So - keeping all this in mind while doing the IFS process is important.
Since I no longer have my notes, I will just recap the highlights.
I was able to maintain my identification as Internal Observer and permit my Target Part (Hate) to speak out about her hatreds.
After I completed that conversation, the best part (from my Internal Observer’s point of view) was that I continued to be identified with the Internal Observer for about a week thereafter.
And what I realized from that perspective was that this Internal Observer was usually in “hiding”. I think there are references on the Forum to something about this phenomenon. Paraphrasing — the Self (True I) cannot tolerate a “lie” — it is very sensitive to lies and cannot remain present in the presence of a lie. At any rate, in my experience, this Self seems reticent, modest, unboastful, conscientious, internally quiet, serene, and peaceful. So unlike the Ego and all it’s little i voices.
The result - or resolution of working with this particular Target Part (Hate) - however, was quite unexpected for me. Primarily because I was not addressing this particular issue at all. And the result was that my “hatred” of rain turned 180 degree opposition into a complete “love” of rain.
“Hating” or “Loving” rain may sound silly or weird to any normal person. But there is a background story which goes back to when I was 5 or 6 years old and got caught in a major wind and rain storm while walking to school.
I was completely drenched (soaking wet) when I arrived at school and my teacher took me to the principal’s office - who decided I had to go home in order to get out of my wet clothes. So he drove me home.
And what was going through my little child mind was:
“Oh No! They’re going to think my mother doesn’t care about me because she let me walk to school in this pouring rain and didn’t protect me from getting all wet!”
Well, that is the sort of conclusion a young child will come up with because that mind is not so logical as an adult mind, yes?
Therefore, all these years (61), I’ve suffered PTSD regarding rain. In efforts to escape and avoid rain, I had moved to many places over the years which, supposedly, had little rain.
Not when I arrived. Even if that particular place was known for drought conditions, once I arrived, it would begin raining. Not just rain. It would downpour and flood. I used to joke that “they” should send me to Africa to relief the droughts because if I was there, it would probably start flooding. I actually thought I attracted the rain because I hated it so much. Sort of a reverse wishful thinking because I definitely did not wish for rain. I wished for no rain.
The only time I got my wish for no rain was when I visited Thailand in Jan/Feb 2003. My little prayer was:
No wind - no rain.
So hot I can complain —
“It’s so hot I can’t stand it!”
And the weather was exactly that — no wind, no rain, so hot I could complain — “It’s so hot I can’t stand it!” And I absolutely loved it. It was such a relief and reprieve from all the wind and rain and cold I’ve endured for years and years.
And that’s pretty much it for that particular session.
Not sure if this would motivate others to attempt to use the IFS method for resolving issues with their Target Parts. However, since HappyLiza did ask if anyone had used this method and what the results were and would they recommend it to others on the Forum, I am posting my experience using this method for the first time.
I would say, yes, I can recommend it, but I think it likely depends on each person’s profile whether it would be useful for that particular person.
Another point would be that it might work better for some people to be in an actual therapy session with a qualified IFS therapist — especially if someone has difficulty remaining identified with the Internal Observer. With a therapist present to guide the person and notice if s/he switched out of Internal Observer into identifying with the Target Part, it would likely be easier — at least the first few times, until one gains a conceptual understanding and can self-observe enough to notice if s/he has moved out of Internal Observer mode into Target Part mode.
And, referring to replies by other posters on this thread, this process might work better for those whose Centers are seated in the Emotional Center rather than the Intellectual Center.
Well, I do hope this reply was of some use to others who were considering using the IFS process but were hesitant to try it until someone else had used it with any beneficial results. Operating as the Internal Observer for an entire week was certainly beneficial to me from my “I” point of view - and from others’ points of view as well, based on the positive feedback from several members of my family and long time friends.
