Help with Stopping Energy Drain as a Caregiver

[Zar]

I agree with Joe, it's always a good idea to deal with your basics first(diet, supplements, sleep, exercise, creative activities, etc.). It could very well be that you don't have a lot of energy reserves to begin with, and if that's the case then figure out why and work on that.

If you really feel there something else going on then the other thing to consider is if you are the one giving your energy to him, and not him draining you. I have read that many/most caregivers do not establish healthy boundaries with their clients and end up either taking on other people's suffering or giving their energy away. Gaby's advice is perfect because with that intention you are choosing not to identify with him. You are intending that you as an individual will help him as a separate individual, instead of you becoming him which leads to you giving away your energy. IF this is happening then before you engage with your clients develop a habit of intending what the interpersonal dynamic will be like and don't pity, empathize, carry his emotional load, or anything like that. It's his job to manage his psychological wellbeing and your job to help maintain his external environment.

You can also do what's called a neutral separation when you're done, in case you forget yourself, by naming 5 simple things that differentiates you both(i.e. he has black hair, I have brown. He is male, I am female. he has a dog, I have a cat, etc.). The intent is to fill your EM field with your energy if you've given it away and give back anything you've taken on that doesn't belong in your field. Keep it simple, down to earth, and go about your rosy way.

Hope this helps.

 

[Gaby]

Does this have to do with my energy/attitude shift he's aware of or just him?

I don't know how it really works, but I'm reminded of the movie "Groundhog Day". A funny movie worth watching if you haven't seen it yet. Good to put your job out of your mind on off days

 

[gottathink]

The way I coped working as a live in caregiver was to develop very clear definition between my work activities and my own activities. When I was working I dressed in a uniform, I had two pairs of trousers and several t-shirts all the sane colour which was my work attire. When I wore my uniform I was 100% focused on my job to help my employer (yea he is your employer) live his life. So there is no way I would be looking at my phone or other device. That just doesn’t sit right with me. Second the job became very satisfying as I worked to problem solve and find ways to make his life better. It’s fun, interesting, challenging and meant I had job satisfaction. Then when I wasn’t working g on my breaks in the middle of the day I would always go for a long walk, destress and breathe.

Routine diet and self care are very important. Also my advice is when you are working give your job and tasks your complete attention and strive to conduct yourself as the best professional you can be then when you are not make sure you have structured recovery in your work day. Following this outside of these times is your life.

 

[SummerLite]

Thanks Everyone for your input. The dilemma I found myself in has been resolved and I'm working on the remedies that are focused on self care.

The biggest help was to realize my concerns where not coming from outside myself but from my own lack of care for my basic physical needs. How on Earth was I unable to see this obvious cause? You made me SEE!

Over the last 3 years I've put aside an important ingredient for the well being of my spirit and that is my creative expression. My mind set moved into "preparation for survival when the SHTF"! This didn't include time for my artistic expression that has always been an important part of my life. Art/Beauty is put aside in times of war when survival is the consuming focus.

So now, as part of important self care, I've turned back to my creative expression and I'm finding a renewal of interest and excitement in creating something of beauty. 1 1/2 yrs ago I moved to my new home thats something of a fixer upper and improvements where put aside because......whats the point when all these other pressing matters are so important. I'm busy choosing paint colors for my kitchen, so many lovely colors to choose from, I'm going with blues and light greens.

The bathroom is next, warm yellows and muted pinks. What a boost to my attitude, wonderful!

AND.....I'm sensing and noticing a change has happened in the US and Europe as well, the tide is turning in favor of the people it seems to me. The will to stop the destruction has kicked in. This has added optimism to my gloomy outlook for things to come. I'm going with it and appreciate the attitude shift. To have authentic hope is uplifting.

I see now how important networking is as so emphasized by the C's. You all have been so helpful to me.

Love, Beauty and Blessings to All and remember to Ride the Wave!

 

[loreta]

I'm so glad you've got your creativity back. Beauty is so important. We tend to say "what's the point?", but that's what the PTB want, for us to forget how important beauty is in our lives, and how creativity is primordial, how imagination is vital. As important as air, water, sun or rain. Thank you for sharing all this with us.