To add my own observations having gone through pretty much all the descriptions above (tiredness/fatigue, guilt, porn, loneliness etc) all the way up to finding the same results as obyvatel, I've managed to untangle the following:
Basic drives - if you're of sexually mature age you're going to have sexual urges. At a purely automatic level this will drive us towards social interactions in order to procreate and continue the species. It's hard wired, but can be observed/altered.
Problems with guilt around sex, and self worth (negative beliefs about social connection/trust/intimacy etc) tend to be the first place things can go wrong.
You'll see addictions to other things and/or sex (usually porn and/or negative relationships). Self reinforcing guilt and unworthiness.
This will lower dopamine levels, which will drive you find Any dopamine through addictive behaviours whilst making life seem boring/pointless.
Challenging the beliefs and doing things without expecting reward can be helpful here (
Feeling stuck? Focus on action rather than outcome i.e. focus on action not reward). Abstinence may also be useful until the dopamine re-balances and you've rewired your brain a bit through new ways of thinking and acting.
Focus will be on reward or how unrewarding life is if you are stuck here.
If the beliefs are more strongly associated with self worth/social connection, this will tend to lead to lower serotonin (loneliness and depression) and a fixation on either connecting with people or how much you aren't connected. It usually goes hand in hand with guilt about sex, so will tend to drive that behaviour too. Sex can also be used here to 'feel anything' rather than numb/hopeless.
If you are low on endorphins you'll use sex as pain relief.
See
The Mood Cure for possible support, but know that there are beliefs and behaviours tide up with altered brain chemistry that need to be changed.
For background on the brain chemicals see
Hacking Into Your Happy Chemicals: Dopamine, Serotonin, Endorphins and Oxytocin
If you notice, all of these things have a specific focus (point of fixation), and will misuse sex as a replacement for something else.
Which brings us to oxytocin (which is released by orgasm), that is said to cause (men especially) to feel tired/want to sleep after sex. To me this is again down to where your focus is, and what programs are running behind the scenes.
Oxytocin: The hormone that makes us good or evil
Given we are full of beliefs and programs that tell us we should be treated badly, it means this mechanism can be skewed. We'll treat ourselves and others badly, and be drawn to unsafe situations because that is what releases oxytocin for us.
Oxytocin forms social bonds but also preserves trauma
Believe that you are socially isolated and can never have an intimate relationship? Orgasm will reinforce those beliefs, leaving you depleted/stressed.
Stressed? Suspicious or mistrustful of others? Orgasm will reinforce those beliefs, and the narratives about others (or a partner) abandoning you will start to spin. More depletion of energy.
Hopefully this can give some clues as to the negative drives and misuse of sex.
Focusing on world peace is about connection to the whole of humanity (and not in a New Age 'we a re all one' way) - social trust/fear and connection (oxytocin), social worth (serotonin). World peace is a world in which no one has to fear and everyone has worth/the right to exist.
It is unselfish (not wanting something for the self, that may be 'missing' or unbalanced - as the above examples show) - no attached reward/expectation (dopamine).
It is pragmatic too as it doesn't allow the built up sexual energy to be hijacked by programs/attachments (focused in a selfish way), and to override your mind with the 'Procreate' biological programs.
So focus - either intentional or subconscious beliefs seem to change the outcome.
. I don't know much about autism yet but is either this or some type os schizoid personality disorder that you can't bond normally with your wife. Have you ever gone maybe to some therapy, maybe some marriage counseling?
