@Tuatha de Danaan, I hope your bones are healing well! You are in my thoughts and prayers
This is so true. Everyday life does have so many gifts if your open to see it.
Yes, so true. While now my life is quite a challenging ride, also each day offers many beautiful gifts. Its amazing to experience it at the same time, like life is saying: See, there is balance, metaphors and meaning to all of it. :)
I have been really ill twice in a very short time, in the last 3 weeks. Once shingles and I went through it surprisingly fast.
Then a week later, I got an intestinal infection. In the house, I stay now, there was a problem with the general installation and a terrible smell spread everywhere for a few days. The air was heavily polluted and I got infected. It also came and went fast. I am ok, again able to keep up with my duties.
The nights were interesting too. Several bad dreams and one that was different. It was at the peak of the shingles episode.
I was in an infinite white space and chased by an invisible mob. I had the strong feeling that I am protecting someone or something. While fleeing, I fell on my back, laying on the floor. A little boy - I became aware, its him, I´m protecting - ran from the left side towards me, into my arms to rest. He then merged with my chest on the left side. I felt this merging deeply. Then there was a strong pain in my heart. It came from my worries and doubts that I am too exhausted to be able to protect and save our lives.
All of a sudden a giant horse with an empty saddle appeared in this space, with wide open nostrils and a wild glare in its eyes, spreading and dissipating the invisible mob. The crowd really spread and dissolved. I was very scared, frozen, that the horse would trample us down (me and the boy) as I was still on the floor. Then there was a shift in perspective. I observed from a distance that the horse was at the right side of my head. Its giant head most gently lifted the right side of my head, then also merging with it. With it infusing gentleness, warmth and strength. Then I woke up.
It was still night. After 2 days in bed, to my surprise, I was able to get up, much stronger for real and also to my surprise, I then was able to pick some homeopathic remedies and nutrients, that really worked well for the next days - and seem to be part of the fast in and out of the acute phase of the 2 infections. I am not used to dreams like that. Also not such physical shifts. When I remember and think about this dream, like now, it still gives me strength. There are these quotes that are with me since this dream, about lessons I might be learning now:
Session, 10 Feb 2018:
Q: (L) Well, they said the power for changing reality lies in the belief center of the mind. But then they also said something about emotions. Emotions that are limiting, and then emotions that help to progress... So, maybe the belief that one needs to cultivate - if any - is the belief in unlimited possibilities AND also in the benevolence of the universe and the process. Maybe that's what it is?
A: Yes yes yes!
(L) And I think that comes back in a funny sort of way to this “Healing Developmental Trauma” book. One of the problems of early trauma is that children come to believe that the universe is not a safe place or it's scary. They just get completely wrong ideas which lead to thought errors. That's something that's preverbal…
A: Become like little children...
Q: (Artemis) Inquisitive, but without bias or beliefs.
(L) And adventurous, open to experience, and not formed up with any beliefs. And one hopes that it's a little child that has not been developmentally traumatized! [laughter]
I´m in my 60ties now. Slowly I am getting that the Universe is benevolent for real :) Quite some practicing ahead about freezing, fleeing and worrying. And learning to rest :) Laura´s meditations are of tremendous help. So much gratitude!
