I dunno why I’m so numb about it, I feel like ‘oh this is happening’ that thing that’s been on the horizon for decades, is it really here? I suppose when the tyres hit the gravel (no pun intended but probably won’t be driving anywhere really soon) and the shockwaves really start to ripple then it will feel more real, but right now with the media black-outs, not being able to see might be part of their plan to keep us all dreaming that nothing much is really going on. I really want to see, I want to witness with my eyes, not just my imagination from the words I read.
I have been fairy shook about the Epstein stuff though, not consciously where I’m thinking about it and feeling fear or worry but something in my bones tells me this is way worse than they’re leading it on to be, that it’s got a very sinister vibe being sent out to the collective, some kind of mind trap or predictive programming for things to come, may be the ramifications on a soul level, the trauma caused by it all feels like it’s affecting us in ways that we don’t begin to understand as a collective soul unit. I’m going to have a guess that many many people have had past lives where they were part of the ritual sacrifices, this stuff really triggers off alarm bells for me, what are the implications?
Honestly, I even feel weird about praying, something like I don’t deserve it, I can feel the inner conflict, literally, like the C’s say, ‘the battle is fought through us’
I had a few dreams about Epstein 3 nights in a row last week, the first night he was an ex- neighbour of my grandparents and had lived next door when I was a kid, I was trying to wrack my memories to see if he’d ever done anything to me, I couldn’t remember. The second night I don’t recall what was happening but I went up to him and told him to get the f*** out of my dreams. The third night he was grooming my partner to be his friend (I believe it’s to irritate me) he was staying in our downstairs bedroom. I was pissed off that he’d convinced my partner to go meat shopping (normal animal meat) at 8 am while we were getting kids ready for school. I was in the house and banged on the window to get Epstein’s attention and when he looked at me I stuck up my middle finger at him and said ‘f*** you’.
When my partner came back he was telling me what a good guy Epstein is and how he’d told him babies and adults were the same and sometimes it’s just okay that people get killed. I argued with my partner that Epstein was brainwashing him, then my partner got out a bow and arrow and started to shoot at me, I did some cool commando type moves behind poles and other bits of concrete to go and get the weapon off him… I woke up just as I was about to put him in a head lock and choke him out… upon waking I declared that this mindfuck thing that was happening in my dreams to be over, I said what I have to say (which is a clear f u) and I don’t consent to anymore of this shit in my psyche. I’ve felt a little better since then, though I don’t feel right, just a strange numb emptiness, I try hard to find joy and good things to ground me down and feel okay.
We are certainly living in some crazy times. Right now everything appears to be normal, but if feels so far from normal. I have a feeling that this is the end of the dream and reality is about to kick in.
