CrazyDaisy
The Force is Strong With This One
I often feel empty inside. I also score high on narcissism tests and tend to be selfish. Is this a sign I'm actually an organic portal? Sorry if this question doesn't belong here.
How do I know I'm not an organic portal?
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CrazyDaisy said:
Well the good thing is that if you're asking, you're probably not. OPs generally do not question themselves, just as a psychopath is not neurotic about whether they are a psychopath. Also, what you describe about yourself does not seem to correspond to characteristics of an organic portal. You may want to read Laura's articles on OPs: https://cassiopaea.org/2012/12/17/organic-portals-part-1/
In brief, feeling empty inside is not how an OP feels. That would fall more under the struggling souled individual who finds that material life is unfulfilling. Organic portals, on the other hand, can be very passionate about many of the superficial, material things in life. As Laura writes in the above article:
Regarding whether your feelings of selfishness and narcissism, again it's not specifically as sign of being an OP. As the C's warned:
We've been told that one cannot discern an organic portal without careful observation over a long period of time. It would be impossible and irresponsible for anyone here to label you an organic portal with what little we know about you. OSIT.
obyvatel
The Living Force
CrazyDaisy said:
Hi CrazyDaisy,
The feeling empty part and the selfish behavior part can most likely be changed. They are potentially under your control. So if these feelings and traits bother you, you can put your energy and effort towards learning about them and changing them.
The "organic portal" part is not under your control. Personally I take the idea as a hypothesis, not a fact. As a hypothesis it may be useful in some specific conditions while trying to find explanations for behavior of other people. It has little value imo in the context of applying it on one's own self. I cannot know if I am an "organic portal" by myself. If someone else tells me I am, what am I going to do with that? Believe that person? Why? How does that person know? Is there any way to validate? If not, then why worry about it? If I assume that the other person is right and I am an OP, how can that positively impact my life? If the diagnosis of OP is a stick I use to beat myself with, then it is rather unproductive.
What I am getting at is take these esoteric ideas with a pinch of salt specially in the context of practical affairs and what things you can do. I do not use this concept on myself or on others. Regarding others, if they behave in certain ways and are not interested in certain topics, I would rather leave them alone and not push them towards things they do not like or grok. Whether that is because they are OP or some other reason may not be important in most cases. There could be exceptions, but I have not encountered them as yet.
fwiw
Phill4
The Living Force
Hello CrazyDaisy, i think we all at one point or another had that question i did stop asking it though, it is dificult to know such thing with so little information. And for us humans.
There is more to a OP and a souled individual to determine that,
Consider that even people who have a soul as well as OP generally speaking still are in process of growing and developing.
So i think is better if you focus on developing and growing as you are.
Consider this too, some people who have souls, are unaware and waste their abilities that come with it by getting involved in idle activities. Thus stop growing, and developing their full potential.
Again the idea is to develope to our highest potential .
There is more to a OP and a souled individual to determine that,
Consider that even people who have a soul as well as OP generally speaking still are in process of growing and developing.
So i think is better if you focus on developing and growing as you are.
Consider this too, some people who have souls, are unaware and waste their abilities that come with it by getting involved in idle activities. Thus stop growing, and developing their full potential.
Again the idea is to develope to our highest potential .
Ruth
The Living Force
CrazyDaisy said:
The fact that you're asking it tends to suggest that you have some insight and gives you a starting point for self observation and improvement. Whether you are an organic portal or not is probably irrelevant (I think). I believe you 'are what you are'. And... as the C's said the ratio of organic portals to non-organic portals is probably 50/50. I also think this issue is completely separate from STO and STS. (This is 'service to others' and 'service to self' and worth looking into too. Our planet is dominated - run- by a predominance of STS beings and so is STS).
I feel horrible myself recently, I think because I'm trying to clear my belief center of SOMETHING what makes me so paralyzed and unproductive. I have such a huge need to be or make something useful to someone or the whole universe and I don' t think this will ever stop. You know what was/is my biggest fear ? That I will lose my soul- that is the soul potential, humanity, empathy, creativity, love... Is this possible, if person doesn't work on themselves?
I mean I don't have any of A influences in my life,so ... :)
I mean I don't have any of A influences in my life,so ... :)
Felipe4 said:
Yes, I went through the fear of being an O.P. and the conclusion I came to is: what difference does it make? If I want to be the best person I can, and learn and get healthy and try to help those who ask, then thinking about whether I'm an O.P. will only cause unnecessary worry and stress.
CrazyDaisy said:
Also useful to remember is that, for all intents and purposes, we are all "organic portals" until we work on ourselves and gain some mastery of our actions and impulses. So I suggest you don't worry too much about the question of being an OP the way you posed it, and instead ask yourself if you want to stop being narcissistic and selfish, and what you are prepared to do about that. How badly do you want to change? And for the sake of whom or what?
Phill4
The Living Force
Martina said:
In practical terms, It seems like a blockage, and a habit from what you say. i don't know how correct i am, unprocessed emotions that we "survive" may allow us to continue on with our lives, but this "unprocessed survival mode" becomes our habitual state of existing, and our mind becomes fixed in a configuration of though patterns, i.e.habit. Particularly DayDreaming. Blocking us from doing things and such.
Certainly empathy come with healthy humans naturally , and all the other qualities such as love and creativity, we tend to think everyone else needs the WORK to exist as people, that is not the case, is not for everyone. Remember the first step of the Work help us become aware of ourselves first, we have to be constant in our pursuit of habits and self-observation.
If a person does not do the WORK on themselves doesn't exactly mean they stop growing or lose their soul, Life itself has lessons for everyone, remember the Work is a Way a path.
If you ask in the context of the Wave, on the other hand, we have to "reach the right frequency" to resonate with the wave in a STO manner i.e. learning to become STO and Work on getting rid of the baggage and Working towards becoming STO, I.e. working/networking, learning/teaching, taking(not possessing)/giving(not wasting), asking(not demanding)/answering(with the right answer).
I find it motivating to go back and re-read chapters or the cass glossary to refresh the memory.
If this SOMETHING is something you determined already what it is, it is a great thing for you IMO.
I think most on the forum ask this question of their selves. I've always thought that if all there is is lessons, then it doesn't matter if I'm an OP or not, if I am learning. Even if you were, this could be the life that you accumulate enough lessons to detach from the soul pool as an individuated soul. And there was a session saying that even 2D could skip 3D and go right to 4D.
Do you think that need is from not feeling you're good enough, or feelings of shame? If so, Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff and Fear of The Abyss by Aleta Edwards may be helpful books.
I don't think you will lose those qualities if you don't work on yourself. They may be dampened though. People in everyday life have those things, but they are so dumbed down, sick, and distracted that those qualities become so small and not expressed or realized.
Martina said:
Do you think that need is from not feeling you're good enough, or feelings of shame? If so, Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff and Fear of The Abyss by Aleta Edwards may be helpful books.
I don't think you will lose those qualities if you don't work on yourself. They may be dampened though. People in everyday life have those things, but they are so dumbed down, sick, and distracted that those qualities become so small and not expressed or realized.