How to Stay Sane in an Insane World

Oh my that's hilarious....Monday morning I'll send it out to friends so they can start their week with a good laugh ;)
 
Drea said:
Yeah, some people just have no sense of humor!

Yes unfortunately my b.f didn't find this post funny at all. He didn't understand the humor until I reminded him that he likes to hop on the back of the grocery cart and lift his feet off the floor. That got a laugh out of him. Although I tend to walk a couple feet behind him and pretend I don't know him when he does it. :P

I have brought this to a new level by stepping on the wheel to perform sharp turns, my children love it...
 
:lol: Ahhh what a good laugh I had, thank you so much, Laura for the reminder! Used to have a lot of such (non)sense in my mind. Ohh I became so serious and grown up.

That's my favorate for the time being, "according to the prophecies":

"It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."

And this happened to me a while ago for real.
A first (!) time client came for consulting.
She started the conversation with: "I really want to end the war between us."
I asked: "Have we met before?"
She replied: "No. Why?"
 
Hi pboardman,

I note that you are already an FOTCM member. Welcome to the forum. :) We recommend all new members to post an introduction in the Newbies section telling us a bit about themselves, and how they found their way here. Have a read through that section to get an idea of how others have done it. Thanks.
 
Laura said:
Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Sing along at the opera.

Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3."

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!" "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Those are my favorites. Thank you for the laugh Laura
 
Laura said:
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Haha, nice one! :lol: I have to incorporate this one in my daily dealings with my environment/colleagues.

Laura said:
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
Hmm, I most certainly canceled parties/appointments that long in advance due to mood swings, I don't remeber though
being that directly announcing them as the reason. :D
 
Breo said:
:lol: Ahhh what a good laugh I had, thank you so much, Laura for the reminder! Used to have a lot of such (non)sense in my mind. Ohh I became so serious and grown up.

That's my favorate for the time being, "according to the prophecies":

"It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."

And this happened to me a while ago for real.
A first (!) time client came for consulting.
She started the conversation with: "I really want to end the war between us."
I asked: "Have we met before?"
She replied: "No. Why?"

:lol2: Hilarious! Must have been an interesting conversation from there!
 
dant said:
Stick your thumb in your ear with the pinky finger
close to front of your mouth and pretend you are
talking on a cell phone with someone and very
loudly.

Caveat: Don't do this while driving, you might get
pulled over for talking on the "cell phone"...

Well, I for my part would think: "Wow, he/she has that japanese FingerWhisper-YubiWa cellphone thingy! How cool is that!" ;D

From _http://www.telecomasia.net/content/tandberg-clinches-sbs-supply-deal:
Masaaki Fukumoto, director of the biological signal-processing laboratory at NTT DoCoMo's multimedia laboratories, shows off the FingerWhisper (Yubi-Wa), a wearable mobile phone prototype that utilizes the human hand as an integral part of the receiver. The FingerWhisper, which is being exhibited for the first time outside Japan, works by requiring its user to stick a finger into his or her ear. Worn on the finger, the Bluetooth-enabled terminal converts voice to vibration through an electro-mechanical actuator and then channels the vibration through the hand's bones to the tip of the user's index finger.

Another (better angled) picture of the FingerWhisper: _http://www.flickr.com/photos/30095338@N00/173288680/

On the other hand, one might argue about the convenience and sanitary issues of using such a cellphone appliance. :huh:
 
hithere said:
Breo said:
A first (!) time client came for consulting.
She started the conversation with: "I really want to end the war between us."
I asked: "Have we met before?"
She replied: "No. Why?"

:lol2: Hilarious! Must have been an interesting conversation from there!

That was the best part of the conversation. :rolleyes:


I just checked a definition about absurd humor" on Wikipedia
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absurd_humor

Drs. Mary K. Rodgers and Diana Pien analyzed the subject in an essay entitled "Elephants and Marshmallows" (subtitled "A Theoretical Synthesis of Incongruity-Resolution and Arousal Theories of Humour"), and wrote that "jokes are nonsensical when they fail to completely resolve incongruities," and cited one of the many permutations of the elephant joke: "Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?" "Because he didn't want to fall into the cup of hot chocolate."

"The joke is incompletely resolved in their opinion," noted Dr. Elliot Oring, "because the situation is incompatible with the world as we know it. Certainly, elephants do not sit in cups of hot chocolate."[5] Oring defined humor as not the resolution of incongruity, but "the perception of appropriate incongruity,"[6] that all jokes contain a certain amount of incongruity, and that absurd jokes require the additional component of an "absurd image," with an incongruity of the mental image.

We might conclude then, that if a joke is nonsensical when it fails to completely resolve incongruities, that the world we live in is a joke... only in the sense of this definition, of course.
 
Odysseus said:
dant said:
Stick your thumb in your ear with the pinky finger
close to front of your mouth and pretend you are
talking on a cell phone with someone and very
loudly.

Caveat: Don't do this while driving, you might get
pulled over for talking on the "cell phone"...

Well, I for my part would think: "Wow, he/she has that japanese FingerWhisper-YubiWa cellphone thingy! How cool is that!" ;D

From _http://www.telecomasia.net/content/tandberg-clinches-sbs-supply-deal:
Masaaki Fukumoto, director of the biological signal-processing laboratory at NTT DoCoMo's multimedia laboratories, shows off the FingerWhisper (Yubi-Wa), a wearable mobile phone prototype that utilizes the human hand as an integral part of the receiver. The FingerWhisper, which is being exhibited for the first time outside Japan, works by requiring its user to stick a finger into his or her ear. Worn on the finger, the Bluetooth-enabled terminal converts voice to vibration through an electro-mechanical actuator and then channels the vibration through the hand's bones to the tip of the user's index finger.

Another (better angled) picture of the FingerWhisper: _http://www.flickr.com/photos/30095338@N00/173288680/

On the other hand, one might argue about the convenience and sanitary issues of using such a cellphone appliance. :huh:

Whoa! That is so weird and funny at the same time! :lol:

BTW, Oregon law requires "hands free" cell phone use, but
still, just as unsanitary are the plug in your ear devices.
 
I love this thread. So many good lines. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Here's a couple to try on your fellow employees if you work in a large retail store with an intercom system:
Mary, your parole officer is on line 2.
Mike, your tests came back positive from the store front clinic.

If someone walks into the store who hasn't been around for a while, give him or her a surprised look and ask "when did you get out of jail?"
 

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