How to stop judgement

MoonSun said:
Hello dear friends, I'm looking for C's comments on observing without judgement, I searched the word judgement on the forum but I couldn't find what I was looking for. I'd like to learn how to get rid of judgeing others, sometimes ot is not easy. Do you have links of sessions that C's have discussed about it? Thank you
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It is really hard to observing some of people or things happening without judgement. But, if we keep trying and respect universal law of Free Will is for everyone else too. Then eventually we can be walk into STO path.

Laura said:
Another possible law is: As above, so below. Okay. Is there any kind of a fundamental physical law? Well, not physical... Some fundamental law of creation?

A: Free will.
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Laura said:
Q: (L) And there are people for whom STS is simply their choice. It is their path.

A: Close.

Q: (L) So, it is a judgment and a disservice to try to convert someone to your path, even if you perceive the end result of the path they are on, that it leads to dissolution? It is still their path?

A: Yes.

Q: (L) And, if you send 'buckets of love and light' to such a one, and that is their path, you are violating their free will?

A: You might as well send "buckets" of vomit as that is how they will react.

Q: (MM) Why send anything? Just be neutral?

A: Judgment is STS.
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Laura said:
A: Try to avoid encumbrances, when at all possible. Also, suggest that you try to stop trying to solve problems for others, especially when your instincts tell you this! Remember, all are on a different learning "schedule," or path.
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I don't know It's a really hard question to answer at this time because of all the mind programing that is going on.

I questioned a service clerk at a store today (when is was quiet) what she thought (in Canada) about the Truckers, she answered, they are just having a hissy fit because they can't get there own way, then started on about the events in the US namely the Jan 6th event. I reminded her that does not happened in Canada, we are a peaceful nation. She had a look of some sort of disconnect. I am also reminded of JP"s comment about the older age groups in Canada that support the government mandates (she was also older as am I) It reminded of the comment by JP, there is a disconnect. because they have been day by day mind controlled by the media. they are so trusting, it breaks my heart.

Maybe I am in a minority, but one thing I know for sure, the media incites and makes people make judgemental choices, and Justin Trudeau, has bragged about how much money he has pumped of tax payers money into just that end.

My suggestion, research and make up your own mind.
 
I have struggled with this in my younger years, and I finally overcame my problem by realising that it's not my place to determine the needs of another person, regardless of how wrong I may find them to be. A perfect illustration of this problem happened to me yesterday. I was in conversation with a Jewish bloke, talking about how insidious antisemitism can be, particularly among the people who think they understand geopolitics. I pointed out issues I have with the behaviour of the Israeli Government, and he quite rightly pointed out that it was prejudiced of me in expecting a Jew to have an opinion on the Zionist state. I was stunned, because I didn't realise that that was a prejudice on my part. But he was right, and I've witnessed similar sentiments from many people online, particularly in the comments on BitChute.

I came away with a simple realisation on this; I am a Welshman, and I in no way support the UK government, be it domestically or internationally with regards to foreign policy. I should not be considered suspect or to blame for the behaviour of my government. And, as a Welshman, it is a case of misplaced judgementalism if any person assumes that as a UK citizen I must hold a clearly defined position on the behaviour of said government. I can't think of a plainer example of how pre-judging a situation causes reflexive thought patterns without nuance, or an understanding of the complexities of the subject matter. The progressive left do this all the time with regards to white privilege and the legacy of colonialism. It's a mechanical process of pre-judging a situation without understanding the nuances of the issue.

I just come back to the simple Biblical quote to keep me mindful of this typically egocentric problem; "Judge not, lest ye be judged". You can explore the problem all you want but at the end of the day it just comes down to this simple phrase for me. Just my two pennies on the matter.
 
I suppose it depends on what you mean by judgement exactly, it's really difficult to tell.

I don't think there's a single answer that could address all forms of judgement you engage in, as not all of them are created equal, and not every form of evaluation of a situation or a person can be called simply judgement, so I think the definition of Judgement should be first and foremost. I think after that, you can start to differentiate where your emotions about each situation come from, and working on those places where these emotions come from might be a first step towards at least becoming aware of the tendency.

So, what do you mean by judgement exactly?
 
AFAIK, letting go of judgement requires an acceptance of the person and situation at hand and entails letting things unfold as they will without trying too hard to intervene, especially if not being asked to. Even if you don't agree, at least respecting the other person's decisions as an individual, sovereign being. Like the Prime Directive in Star Trek where you don't interfere with developing species and planets. Its probably why the STS forces have been interfering with us for hundreds of thousands of years and the STO forces don't. The good guys respect free will even if it's painful to watch.

I wrote a song about this a long time ago. It was my creative attempt of understanding judgement and how it relates to determining the needs of others and bypassing their lessons for them.
When my eyes are closed I'm not seeing in front of me,
There's a fog between you and me,
There's no love lost when the shades are gone,
You were my friend and I thought I could help,
But I was blind and I don't know if I'm wrong or right,
There's a look upon your face that says I was out of place,
I'm sorry my friend, my heart is breaking inside because I let you down tonight.

10 years is a mighty long time,
Sometimes it feels like your a stranger inside,
When is the time to let go and let loose,
Unleash the bottle and untighten the noose,
Is it my place, my duty and right,
To tell you what to do and how to live your life,
There's a look upon your face that says I was out of place,
I'm sorry my friend, my heart is breaking inside because I let you down tonight.

I pushed agendas however I pleased,
Kept finding ways to determine your needs,
A thoughtful friend would give you room to breathe,
And when you ask gently plant some seeds,
We have the right to live our own lives,
No matter what mistakes and lessons come to light,
There's a look upon your face that says I was out of place...
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Alejo said:
I suppose it depends on what you mean by judgement exactly, it's really difficult to tell.
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I have the same thoughts. We cannot do away with judgment and choices involves judging within ourselves too, i.e., what we want, what we do not like, what is better. Just recently while reflecting over judgment--to condemn or think of a better way how things should be done--, I have found myself comparing the younger version of me over who I am now. I realized that I don't care much about people then with what they want to do about life, and the later version of me who is a christian wants to "serve" and minister to others. When I listen to people recently I still find that I have made up scenarios in my head which could be the best or ideal for them to do.

Having read that it is not our primary duty to help someone not unless they asked for it, I realized I needed to "cleanse" myself and remind myself to not minister to people and it is just something that I have practiced back then. We may have ideas still to help them yet if they didn't asked, it is no longer a burden for me to do so. I see loved ones everyday choosing a path which I think would not help them, yet it is their choice after all and I remind myself that just like me, we make decisions which we think is best for us just like how they have decided theirs.
 
This is a big question..

I guess first you would have to define the word Judgement, and then apply it to the context of the relationship between you and others, then stop doing it.

Various definitions include
  • The act of judging or assessing another person
  • The cognitive process of reaching a decision or drawing conclusions about another person
  • An opinion formed about another person
So basically that would be coming to some sort of assessment or opinion about someone, and not being able to move from that easily, since you've made your mind up about them.

But that is obviously detrimental for a lot of reasons. The first time we meet someone we usually Judge them. But what if they were having a great day, or a bad day ? This is a very limiting thing to be doing.

Our whole lives we have had conditioning which further adds to this - we are conditioned to judge. Social media has facilitated this much more so.

But judgement can also be making a decision. Everyday we have to judge in order to make decisions. This is different to condemnation, as the C's have already said. Sometimes a parent needs to judge their child as to whether or not they are sick enough to take them to the Doctor.

So would it be better to stop condemning people rather than judging them ?

Or do we need to ask a more refined question.. How to stop judging someones character ?

I find a good way to do this is think to myself: "I accept this person for who they are today"
 
Another good way I have found is from the Ra material here :

Exercise Four. Gaze at the creation which lies about the mind/body/spirit complex of each entity. See the Creator.
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It is hard to do, to put your mind in the context, but if you can see everyone (and every being in the universe) are in many situations, backgrounds, conditioning's, biases which our incarnations have imposed upon us for learning purposes.

I guess, to summarise, we are they way we are because we are still learning.
 
BlueKiwi said:
Various definitions include
  • The act of judging or assessing another person
  • The cognitive process of reaching a decision or drawing conclusions about another person
  • An opinion formed about another person
So basically that would be coming to some sort of assessment or opinion about someone, and not being able to move from that easily, since you've made your mind up about them.
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@MoonSun, I agree with what others mentioned about the context. Assessment of the situation, people in it, your role in the context is part of body's activities. This can also happen subconsciously without us knowing. When that happens, body consciously or consciously reacts to it. some times it is pleasant and many times it is not pleasant. some times it is pleasant for reasons of ego.

One way to address it or rewire the brain (when observed and recognized as such) is put your self in other person's shoes. we all know the saying "What you see in others is your own reflection". This contemplation helps to identify the our own reading errors. Some times, the world is dysfunctional and there is nothing one can do or we don't know what we have to do. Some times, we fear to express it as talking negatively is considered as politically incorrect or unrefined personality, while the world is going to hell ( particularly in the Western Society).

It is a learning process towards "external consideration" and that needs knowledge of the situation.
 
MoonSun said:
Hello dear friends, I'm looking for C's comments on observing without judgement, I searched the word judgement on the forum but I couldn't find what I was looking for. I'd like to learn how to get rid of judgeing others, sometimes ot is not easy. Do you have links of sessions that C's have discussed about it? Thank you
Click to expand...
I second Alejo's comment and ask what exactly you mean by judgement, since there is no guarantee that any of the C sessions will be using the word in the same sense that you are, and describing the same phenomenon. This tends to be why reading the C's transcripts without the commentary is discouraged-- people can project their own meanings onto discussions without quite understanding what is actually being said. And what the C's answer to Laura's and others' questions about judgement may be quite distinct from your own ideas about what judgement is, based on the very questions you've been asking yourself about judgement.

Can you give us examples of times when you've judged others, and what questions you were asking yourself which led you to conclude it would be beneficial (in what sense?) to stop judging others (as you understand it)?
 
Alejo said:
من فکر می کنم بستگی به این دارد که دقیقاً منظور شما از قضاوت چیست، تشخیص آن واقعاً دشوار است.

فکر نمی‌کنم پاسخ واحدی وجود داشته باشد که بتواند به همه اشکال قضاوتی که شما درگیر آن هستید پاسخ دهد، زیرا همه آنها برابر نیستند و هر شکلی از ارزیابی یک موقعیت یا یک شخص را نمی‌توان صرفاً قضاوت نامید، بنابراین فکر می‌کنم تعریف قضاوت باید قبل از هر چیز باشد. فکر می‌کنم بعد از آن، می‌توانید شروع کنید به اینکه احساساتتان در مورد هر موقعیتی از کجا می‌آیند، و کار بر روی مکان‌هایی که این احساسات از آن سرچشمه می‌گیرند، می‌تواند اولین قدم برای حداقل آگاهی از این تمایل باشد.

بنابراین، منظور شما از قضاوت دقیقاً چیست؟
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thanks for reply. I mean judgment that when others intentionally tarnish our image or intentionally harass us, we become disgusted and at least label them in our minds. For example, some time ago, a family with a previous plan destroyed our character in order to misuse money. Or it has happened to me that someone has spoken in my language in order to be able to speak to another and has created discord and enmity. In my mind, I accuse these people of divisiveness, lying and hypocrisy, but apparently this is judgment.
 
whitecoast said:
I second Alejo's comment and ask what exactly you mean by judgement, since there is no guarantee that any of the C sessions will be using the word in the same sense that you are, and describing the same phenomenon. This tends to be why reading the C's transcripts without the commentary is discouraged-- people can project their own meanings onto discussions without quite understanding what is actually being said. And what the C's answer to Laura's and others' questions about judgement may be quite distinct from your own ideas about what judgement is, based on the very questions you've been asking yourself about judgement.

Can you give us examples of times when you've judged others, and what questions you were asking yourself which led you to conclude it would be beneficial (in what sense?) to stop judging others (as you understand it)?
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Hello and thank you for reply. These are some example of my life; Some time ago, a relative misused my sister's bank account. A family with a previous plan destroyed my family character in order to catch fish from the muddy water. Or it has happened to me that someone has spoken in my language in order to be able to say her own word to someone else and has created discord and enmity. Or a collaboration that makes me a bad employee for self-promotion. In my mind, I accuse these people of theft, divisiveness, lying, hypocrisy and deception, but apparently this is a judgment.
 
MoonSun said:
In my mind, I accuse these people of theft, divisiveness, lying, hypocrisy and deception, but apparently this is a judgment.
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This is a judgement, but it's only a realization of the character of another person, and I think that's ok - all that's happening is your experiencing another persons actions toward you that are selfish.

So I guess a more refined question would be "How do we deal with selfish people, and their actions towards us?"

This is probably up there as one of the most important lessons. I guess the answer would be "acceptance", which is hard because usually selfishness involves abridgement of our free will.

So - let them be selfish, and move away from them so they can learn their lessons on their own ?
 
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