darthdo said:
Well guys, I say all this to complement some of what I expressed, and to avoid misunderstandings that may have caused the language barrier.
Hi Darthdo, I think you've been pretty clear in what you have said, and the feedback you've received doesn't seem to be based on any language barriers or mistranslations. While there are probably plenty of factors that created the experiences you've had, one factor could be that you are at the very least looking for some kind of 'spiritual experience'. When your friend suggested the healing center, it seems you were partially open to it. Just an attraction or interest in channeling, other realms, psychic abilities and so on seems to open up doors to the unknown. When I first began studying up on the paranormal, I got really into the astral travel stuff. I read books on it, practiced it and tried out the lucid dreaming stuff too. During the same period I was having frequent sleep paralysis where I would wake up in a frozen body and occasionally would feel some dark presence in the room. When I stopped pursuing astral travel and started focusing on the everyday Work on the self, it stopped. If you haven't already, it may be helpful to read some of Gurjieff's and his students work on the Fourth Way. A good starter is Ouspenski's In Search of the Miraculous. The recommended psychology books could help too:
Narcissism "Big Five"
Myth of Sanity - Martha Stout
The Narcissistic Family - Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman
Trapped in the Mirror - Elan Golomb
Unholy Hungers - Barbara E. Hort
In Sheep's Clothing - George K. Simon
Psychopathy
The Sociopath Next Door - Martha Stout
Women Who Love Psychopaths - Sandra Brown
Snakes in Suits - Robert Hare and Paul Babiak
Without Conscience - Robert Hare
The Mask of Sanity - Hervey Cleckley
Political Ponerology - Andrzej Lobaczewski
These materials lay out the groundwork for esoteric work to be pursued. Without it, you leave yourself open and vulnerable to attack.
Mouravieff also wrote something that reminded me of your situation:
Mouravieff said:
In esoteric work the phenomenalist mentality seeks facts. It looks for manifestations that confirm that its work is well founded, or which simply satisfy its curiosity. This is where the snares and traps and greatest dangers lie. For it is often possible to obtain the desired "facts" quite easily from the astral realms, to which the human personality also belongs. When the personality is firmly anchored in the physical body it is generally incapable of making direct connection with the astral levels. However, certain persons, known as sensitives, have the innate or acquired faculty of momentarily weakening the ties of the personality to the physical body so that, with no esoteric evolution whatever, they are able to connect with this level - connecting to the coarsest levels of the astral.
"Facts" obtained this way are often regarded by people who seek them as coming from the spiritual level. However, this level is a vast reservoir of psychic entities that have no contact with the higher plane, including amongst them discarnate Personalities, who normally remain there to await their Second Death - the negative equivalent of the Second Birth. This usually occurs on the fortieth day after death of the physical body.
The Tradition expressly warns seekers against contacts with this realm which is so dangerous and full of the worst illusions.
The power of intervention of these entities in the lives of humans is a function of the credulity they meet. The yearning to experience miracles, visions, etc, creates an atmosphere favorable for their appearance, which can assume various forms, often perceptible to the physical senses.
