Horseofadifferentcolor said:
Thankyou Everyone, I know I have a huge task in front of me, but I am feeling way more clear in the head. I am not as emotional just still angry. The confusion and being scared is gone, just super angry that I have to deal with it on my own.I know this sounds sooo petty compared to what others in war zones are going through. My dangers are on a much smaller scale.
[...]
E.E. saved me from getting a panic attack monday. I got to shaking, could not breath, my heart felt like exploding even though I kept telling myself to be calm.I think all my past experiences of feeling wronged and helpless all combined into this one moment for me. Like it was all the same. I then remembered E.E. It did not stop the shaking right away but it did calm me down ALOT! I would really love to see an E.E. workshop in central Texas!
All of these things are normal responses to a traumatic event. Like Mariama, I recommend reading 'In an Unspoken Voice' once you get the chance. It will help you understand how this event affected you and why. EE is helpful too, as you know, but if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed consider leaving out Beatha breathing for a while. You have a lot to process, I think.
You went through an objectively life-threatening situation and your body's deep survival wisdom was mobilized. It's not about comparison to others or "scale of danger". It's about the danger to YOU and your body's will to survive. So, it doesn't sound petty at all to me.
I agree that Texas weather has seemed pretty electric - lots of storming this year where I'm at. Thunder sounds different to me these days, with a lot more variety of sounds than I recall from when I was younger. I'm not sure whether that's true or not, but it wouldn't be surprising give what we know and suspect.
I definitely think that it's best to begin your detector sweeps around your house, moving outward. It would be good to have some sort of system for making sure you check an area thoroughly. Even if you only find one casing, get photos, record your info, and make copies of everything and store them safely.
About EE classes, I'm not aware of anything like that yet in Texas (I could be wrong), but you might be interested in this thread: http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,30226.60.html
Horseofadifferentcolor said:
[...] But I was out of options and I thought mabey just mabey the owners of that land did not know about this. Thank goodness that feeling turned out to be valid. I ended up getting ahold of the mother of the family and she did not know any of this.
We started talking and talking and talking. We must have talked for almost two hours. It was amazing. We talked about so much(health, god, politics) for two strangers it was really amazing. We got so in depth that I felt comfortable telling her about SOTT and the health boards. That is something I have never been able to do, as most people would not understand.
This was red flag for me, too. It reminded me of how psychopaths can draw people in by making them feel all accepted and understood, when actually they are injecting their poison so they can get what the want from you. It is maybe possible, but foolish and potentially dangerous to assume, that she was genuine. However, you may want to really give some thought to
Strategic Enclosure, and also perhaps search the forum for examples of it in action.
Best wishes to you in getting through this, but beware of being complacent. Being shot at, intentionally or not, at regular intervals is not a nice place to be, but could be very fruitful in terms of learning if you can look at the reality of it head on and take intelligent action. Since you are the one in the situation who cares, the leg-work is up to you, it seems. While you work at it, try to be open to be open to possibilities. Ask by doing, and perhaps the Universe will meet you halfway?
