Insecurities about my approach of doing work and networking

[Nawd]

LOL I feel the same way Argonaut, but lately I've felt a deep need to participate more. I am in awe of the ease many members seem to have with the written word.

hi zhenqing,

I joined the forum 4 years ago, and to this day I've only posted 355 times (well, 356 now). It's mainly because I feel exactly like you do. I want to help, but don't think I know enough to contribute. Or others have already responded and I don't feel I can add anything new. I think this is a pretty common thing to worry about. Also, there are different ways to help. A large number of my posts were me asking for help instead of giving it. I've felt guilty about this too at times, as if I'm being selfish. But it was pointed out to me that asking for help can help others, since there are probably other members who have similar feelings and issues. I'm in awe of the understanding possessed by some members here, and by their ability to communicate it so clearly, with little to no noise. I'm not at that level yet, and who knows when I will be? But we just have to operate at the "full capacity" of whatever level we're at. That's the only way to advance in the work. And as long as we're doing that we're exactly where we're supposed to be.

 

[ocean59]

The coffee is problematic, too.

I can recommend yerba mate (pronounced mah-tay) or perhaps green tea brewed on the strong side as a more healthful substitute to try once in awhile. It is something I've found very helpful in the past in overcoming a coffee addiction. The teas give a more natural source of caffeine to stay awake, but without all the anxiety and jitters of coffee. Rooibos is the name of a fun tea you may not know about - it is a red tea that is strong and flavorful, and has many positive and soothing effects, but no caffeine at all.

I've drunk bottled water before, but right now I'm breaking up with it. The taste of plastic on my tongue is horrible.

The taste of low-grade plastic bottles can be pretty bad, especially if exposed to warm temperatures. Perhaps a local store carries a higher quality 'hard plastic" jug that you can refill water from a filtered source? It seems the harder the plastic, the better the taste. Although, in Poland, maybe you have drinkable water (in California I do not trust my water here at all). Just fwiw.

 

[zhenqing]

Even when I'm going right with gluten, sugar and dairy, sometimes I'm craving popcorn or potatoes so much I can't take it.

Hi Zhenqing
Can I ask, do you normally have butter/salt on the popcorn/potatoes?? I ask because it may be that you are craving those, not the popcorn/potatoes. This could mean you are not getting enough salt or (good) fat in your diet.
The second thing to consider is are you eating enough?? If you are on an anti candida diet you need to replace the carbohydrates you cut out with something else. Again (good) fats and meat/fish/protein. (you could also try quinoa)
Eating a lot of protein will help balance your blood sugar levels.

Another thing regarding craving carbohydrates and sugars you may want to look at is serotonin deficiency.

Make sure you are taking a good pro-biotic (non dairy/soy/potato based), also digestive enzymes may also help with these cravings (on an empty stomach they can help kill candida too).

I have popcorn/potatoes with salt and potatoes with butter (sometimes). But I'm far from not getting enough salt. As for the fat in my diet, I use olive oil daily, I have fish oil in my Omega 3 capsules and use butter when eating steam-cooked broccoli or cauliflower.
But I think, as you point out, the problem might be not getting enough meat/fish/protein (especially considering that my blood type is 0). I might try quinoa, too. Thank you for the tip.

I will look up the link you provided. Serotonin deficiency... Who knows :)

I know about probiotics, but I must read up the digestive enzymes.

hi zhenqing,

I joined the forum 4 years ago, and to this day I've only posted 355 times (well, 356 now). It's mainly because I feel exactly like you do. I want to help, but don't think I know enough to contribute. Or others have already responded and I don't feel I can add anything new. I think this is a pretty common thing to worry about. Also, there are different ways to help. A large number of my posts were me asking for help instead of giving it. I've felt guilty about this too at times, as if I'm being selfish. But it was pointed out to me that asking for help can help others, since there are probably other members who have similar feelings and issues. I'm in awe of the understanding possessed by some members here, and by their ability to communicate it so clearly, with little to no noise. I'm not at that level yet, and who knows when I will be? But we just have to operate at the "full capacity" of whatever level we're at. That's the only way to advance in the work. And as long as we're doing that we're exactly where we're supposed to be.

Thank you, Argonaut for your input. It's encouraging to know I'm not the only one, who feel that way sometimes.

Actually, I want to thank all of you, who posted in this thread. Voicing my doubts and receiving such a wonderful feedback have given me a new view on myself and a whole lot of positive energy.

The coffee is problematic, too.

I can recommend yerba mate (pronounced mah-tay) or perhaps green tea brewed on the strong side as a more healthful substitute to try once in awhile. It is something I've found very helpful in the past in overcoming a coffee addiction. The teas give a more natural source of caffeine to stay awake, but without all the anxiety and jitters of coffee. Rooibos is the name of a fun tea you may not know about - it is a red tea that is strong and flavorful, and has many positive and soothing effects, but no caffeine at all.

I think I've been told about yerba mate at some point, but I was to lazy to put that information for use. Time to fix that. I'm having a lot of green tea, though. And you are right - it does help. The feeling is definitely better, without "all the anxiety and jitters of coffee" as you put.

I'll do some reading about Rooibos. Thank you.

The taste of low-grade plastic bottles can be pretty bad, especially if exposed to warm temperatures. Perhaps a local store carries a higher quality 'hard plastic" jug that you can refill water from a filtered source? It seems the harder the plastic, the better the taste. Although, in Poland, maybe you have drinkable water (in California I do not trust my water here at all). Just fwiw.

I tried 'hard plastic' as well. The taste is better but awful nonetheless. And the smell... Uh. Lately my sense of smell is even more sensitive than it normally is, and when I'm smelling insides of a plastic bottle I'm loosing any desire to drink from it.

Not all regions of Poland have a nice water like we do. I'm living in relatively small town 11 km from the Baltic Sea (you can go almost everywhere on foot), with a lot of forest around, lakes and such. I rarely thought about it this way, living there since birth, but the surroundings are pretty idyllic. And our local aqueducts are indeed very good.

 

[Argonaut]

It's mainly because I feel exactly like you do. I want to help, but don't think I know enough to contribute. Or others have already responded and I don't feel I can add anything new. I think this is a pretty common thing to worry about. Also, there are different ways to help. A large number of my posts were me asking for help instead of giving it. I've felt guilty about this too at times, as if I'm being selfish. But it was pointed out to me that asking for help can help others, since there are probably other members who have similar feelings and issues.

fwiw (and its been discussed a lot, but is always worth repeating) these negative thoughts and the little lies we tell ourselves...or more specifically the predators mind tells us in order to keep us in our place, can be quite insidious! Anything that knocks or over inflates our (ego) 'sense of self' can be added to this category.

True, and I can see the narcissistic wounding in it, too. When we think that we're inferior and our input doesn't matter, or that we shouldn't ask for help because it's "selfish," we're dredging up fears programmed from our childhoods. The predator wants to survive at all costs, and avoiding what we fear ensures its survival. And for us it actually FEELS like a matter of life or death, as if we're actually risking something by going against the grain of our fears. But all that we're "risking" is the stranglehold the predator's mind has on us. It really is insidious that the predator's mind has us convinced that its thoughts are our own thoughts, and what's good for it is good for us.

LOL I feel the same way Argonaut, but lately I've felt a deep need to participate more. I am in awe of the ease many members seem to have with the written word.

I'm glad to hear that, and I look forward to seeing more of you on the forum! Some members do communicate their thoughts extremely well. I often wonder if this is because they simply developed good writing skills, or if they naturally started to write more clearly and objectively as they progressed in the work. Maybe it's a combination of the two?

Thank you, Argonaut for your input. It's encouraging to know I'm not the only one, who feel that way sometimes.

Actually, I want to thank all of you, who posted in this thread. Voicing my doubts and receiving such a wonderful feedback have given me a new view on myself and a whole lot of positive energy.

You're welcome. I'm glad you found our responses so helpful. And your thread also helped others! It's a great aspect of networking; sometimes you can give voice to thoughts that other members aren't sure how to express.

 

[Skipling]

Wow. Another great thread that resonates with me. Each day I come on to the forum those old, old doubts and fears resurface with regards to feelings of inadequacy and that fear which I now realise is commonplace, ie:- how can I contribute?

Also, the notion of being in awe of the elders of the forum; I suffer from this too, plus quite often I am scared of them. I understand this now. It is a fear within me of revealing myself, in fear of condemnation, which is a classic example of the predator in action, TO KEEP ME INACTIVE!!!

So often it is like rebounding from the euphoria of "getting" a new concept and feeling superconfident, to a crushing low when the next struggle comes and I realise that there is so much more required to consolidate any new insights or knowledge.

It's all about seeing the balance between these highs and lows; the objective view of the self is invariably somewhere in between these extreme states. This is sounding like a classic case of the bipolar syndrome to me, and I think it is a genuine symptom of our age/culture/society. The century of the self, as Adam Curtis put it so brilliantly.

I am greatly encouraged by realising that we are all, each of us, struggling with these nagging self-doubts because I have this real tendency to just retreat into narcissitic wallowing in isolation, little realising the ubiquitous nature of the problems I suffer.

Thank you to all who have contributed here. This forum is truly a "Godsend"!