(Well it is almost funny if it wasn't so close to the truth...)
TEL AVIV. Israel's military has admitted for the first time that it is considering a massive strike against Iran. According to General Uzi Matzos, Chief of Staff of Israel's Passive-Aggressive Response Force, a potential attack would be intended to "knock Iran back about 200 years, which would leave them somewhere in the 12th Century".
Iran reacted strongly to the warning by rounding up three teenagers suspected of homosexuality and hanging them from a crane in the Tehran Revolutionary Football Stadium.
According to General Matzos, Iran's recent efforts to develop its nuclear capabilities have finally given Israel the impetus it needs to justify an attack.
"We've been looking for an excuse to bomb Iran for some time now," he told reporters, "and this is pretty much it."
He said previous "hostile actions" by Iran had almost triggered devastating attacks, but Israel's parliament had overruled military action each time, citing insufficient grounds.
"We got up to about Defcon 2 when the Iranian soccer team rose to 45th in the FIFA rankings," said Matzos. "Any higher than 30, and we would have turned Tehran into a sheet of glass."
He said Tel Aviv had also come "perilously close to dropping the big one" on Iran after Iranian filmmakers produced a string of critically acclaimed feature films in the mid-1990s.
"A sovereign nation like Israel cannot afford to have a rogue creative force like Iran pumping out beautiful independent films on tiny budgets while we continue to produce generic schlock with massive Hollywood grants."
However he said that Israel could now "put a proverbial cap in Iran's proverbial ass without hesitation", as it could not allow the radical Islamic state to possess nuclear weapons.
"We will not tolerate a nuclear-armed state based on fundamentalist religion, its borders imposed on the region by European and American colonialism, and that has shown an eagerness to wage war on its neighbours – other than ours."
He added that the nations of the world were "sick and tired of pussyfooting around a country mired culturally and politically in the 14th Century", and expressed a wish that one day Iran would follow Israel "boldly into the 19th Century".
http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/797
TEL AVIV. Israel's military has admitted for the first time that it is considering a massive strike against Iran. According to General Uzi Matzos, Chief of Staff of Israel's Passive-Aggressive Response Force, a potential attack would be intended to "knock Iran back about 200 years, which would leave them somewhere in the 12th Century".
Iran reacted strongly to the warning by rounding up three teenagers suspected of homosexuality and hanging them from a crane in the Tehran Revolutionary Football Stadium.
According to General Matzos, Iran's recent efforts to develop its nuclear capabilities have finally given Israel the impetus it needs to justify an attack.
"We've been looking for an excuse to bomb Iran for some time now," he told reporters, "and this is pretty much it."
He said previous "hostile actions" by Iran had almost triggered devastating attacks, but Israel's parliament had overruled military action each time, citing insufficient grounds.
"We got up to about Defcon 2 when the Iranian soccer team rose to 45th in the FIFA rankings," said Matzos. "Any higher than 30, and we would have turned Tehran into a sheet of glass."
He said Tel Aviv had also come "perilously close to dropping the big one" on Iran after Iranian filmmakers produced a string of critically acclaimed feature films in the mid-1990s.
"A sovereign nation like Israel cannot afford to have a rogue creative force like Iran pumping out beautiful independent films on tiny budgets while we continue to produce generic schlock with massive Hollywood grants."
However he said that Israel could now "put a proverbial cap in Iran's proverbial ass without hesitation", as it could not allow the radical Islamic state to possess nuclear weapons.
"We will not tolerate a nuclear-armed state based on fundamentalist religion, its borders imposed on the region by European and American colonialism, and that has shown an eagerness to wage war on its neighbours – other than ours."
He added that the nations of the world were "sick and tired of pussyfooting around a country mired culturally and politically in the 14th Century", and expressed a wish that one day Iran would follow Israel "boldly into the 19th Century".
http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/797
