It HURTS - to say - GOOD-BYE

That's sad, angelburst29. :-(
I don't know you in person but came to love your contributions.
To me it sounds as if you're terminally ill or plan to take your own life. But that's all just assumption so it would be great if you could elaborate which is up to you of course.
Take care, please.
 
I think you are very sad leaving this big family, the title of this thread shows it. Maybe it is not because of you, maybe the circumstances out of you, who knows. We live difficult times and everyone deals with it, and everyone is different. Good luck and see you soon.
 
Angelburst's announcement of her departure probably has something to do with her disagreement with our decision to remove her ability to send PMs because of the unhealthy feedback loop that formed between her and Delores Delaney, about whose life circumstances you can read here.

‌Given that she has been a member of this forum for so long, it is unfortunate that Angelburst does not yet seem to have realized why that dynamic can be dangerous to all parties involved. Specifically, in this case, encouraging a newbie to indulge her fantastical notions, encouragement which went against the advice of the owners and moderators of this forum.
 
Dear angelburst29, I never expected to read this. Whatever your reason for leaving, the way you worded your post, sounds ominous to me. You always seem to be so careful with your words. I want you to know that I too have thoroughly enjoyed your posts and will miss your contributions to this forum. If you are under some unimaginable stressful factors, we all are hear to listen and help. Since this Covid thingy has developed, I have been sad every day for one stressful issue or another. But I find strength in reading other's comments and posts. Whatever you decide for your future, we all are hear to listen and understand.
 
Niall said:
Angelburst's announcement of her departure probably has something to do with her disagreement with our decision to remove her ability to send PMs because of the unhealthy feedback loop that formed between her and Delores Delaney, about whose life circumstances you can read here.

‌Given that she has been a member of this forum for so long, it is unfortunate that Angelburst does not yet seem to have realized why that dynamic can be dangerous to all parties involved. Specifically, in this case, encouraging a newbie to indulge her fantastical notions, encouragement which went against the advice of the owners and moderators of this forum.
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The owners and mods and members have a responsibility to all members of the forum. When we see an unhealthy dynamic (by our estimation) we have a responsibility to call it out. Ideally, members would see and understand why. In the case they do not, they are entitled to indulge in particular dramas and "feeding", but not on our own forum. That also must apply to PMs.

Imagine if all of the discussions here were happening in person in Laura's house rather than in cyberspace. If a few members started getting into a negative feedback loop, it would be called out. To make an exception for PMs on the forum would be akin to allowing the members who had been called out for the negative feedback loop in real life to use the house telephone to continue the dynamic. In short, if you want to carry on a private discussion on topics that run counter to the basic principles of this forum, then do it on your own 'dime', rather than creating a song and dance about it.

I've no doubt that AB and DD (and anyone else interested) can easily find a way to continue (and indeed increase) their communication by one of the many other means available to them.
 
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Ruth said:
That's not how I'm reading it. It seems like this person intends to end their life. Am I overreacting, or is this just a reflection of the times we live in?
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As is usual in such cases, there is a lot more going on that has been observed and discussed by mods than meets the eye. We take very seriously our responsibility to maintain a safe environment for all members and that sometimes necessitates nipping unhealthy dynamics in the bud. We usually give gentle warnings in advance, and if those are ignored, it necessitates further action.

To those who think this is arbitrary, be assured it never is and I think that our history of caring speaks for itself. Long and tedious discussions among mods generally precede any such warnings or actions. The collective experience of the mods, who are excellent observers, is always utilized. There are rules for forum participation, and there is moderation and different levels of guidance depending on the problems presented by the individual in question.

Obviously, when any member has any of their posting or PM privileges modified or suspended, they can always write to the mods for an explanation. Some do, the matter is discussed, and there is no further problem. In other cases, a "drama" ensues, and this appears to be AB's choice.

Frankly, as all of you must know from reading the many threads on various topics, I am quite exhausted by Drama Queens. At this particular point in time and space, with our world disintegrating before our eyes, I have little patience with Drama, wishful thinking, and infantile behavior. We are here to form a network, not provide "safe spaces" for overindulgent sensibilities.

So, for those who clearly have neither the inclination nor the ability to properly network, I say "don't let the door hit you on the way out."
 
As an outsider looking in on this, it really seems a little melodramatic to throw away 14 years of work. I've had my times of bother on this forum in previous incarnations (hell, when I was on here as Skipling back in 2009/10, I was really messed up), but it was worthwhile to return and learn some tough lessons and listen to people more when they had advice to offer me. If it was me in this situation, I think I'd take a step back, breathe a little, and take some time out from participating on the forum, have some time to reflect. With a little time away from posting, just maybe things will clarify in the mind a little, it just seems a little reflexive leaving over this situation. All I'd say really is take a break and think things over, maybe you'd feel a little differently about this, Angelburst, with a little time. With all that's going on in the world these days it really seems like a storm in a teacup to me.
 
We are talking about choice, the most of the time it's harder to stay than to go. And you choose to go not by the door or even the windows
opened, you choose the option to go out against the wall of the house, i can understand that it hurts..
This is not a GOOD-BYE angelburst29, it looks like more a caprice in this context.
The next time if you want to come back use the door, thank you.
 
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