Fifth Way said:
ScioAgapeOmnis said:
"I think anart is beautiful" is a judgement.
Me too. And so is "Fifth Way is abrupt/defensive/agressive." Or so I think.
I disagree here. The words abrupt/defensive/aggressive have an objective meaning, the word beautiful has no objective meaning. So in my understanding, what Anart said is either a correct objective assessment of your behavior or an incorrect objective assessment - but since the words she used have an objective meaning, it is not a judgment which is something entirely subjective and therefore entirely meaningless.
And I am sure that you are well aware that many people become defensive and/or aggressive when their sacred cows are pointed out and questioned. Are you saying that pointing out this defensive and/or aggressive behavior to people is a judgment on our part and therefore meaningless/subjective/should not be done? If not, then why would you call it a judgment when it is directed at you? Perhaps she is incorrect and you were not being defensive, but that would only mean that her assessment was incorrect, not that she "judged" you - because what she said was not subjective like "Your attitude is weird" - but it was objective.
One example of defensive behavior would be ironically to call something a judgment when it is in fact an objective assessment (regardless of whether it is correct or not). So the worst case scenario is that it was an assumption based on 0 data, in which case your reminder not to assume would apply. However, whatever data lead Anart to suggest what she did, in my view the idea that you called it judgment further supports her hypothesis. I don't have enough data to make any conclusions of course, and I don't think what Anart said was a conclusion on her part either - she just saw some clues/data that from her experience and knowledge indicated a certain possibility, and she mentioned this possibility. Whether it is accurate or not is the real question - but whether what she said is entirely meaningless (which is what a judgment would be) is not the question, at least not in my understanding.
Defensive means defending something more with emotions and rationalizations than with data. It also can mean splitting a hair 4 ways to try to defend something, or over-analyzing, and basically doing anything and everything to defend a certain position, thing, person, idea, belief, for any other reason that because the data points to this - it also can mean ignoring certain data or misinterpreting what the data is actually pointing to, etc. So if someone does any of the above, sometimes it can be subtle, so pointing it out is not a judgment of them, it's not subjective. You can be wrong and your reading instrument may not be assessing the situation correctly, but it's still not a judgment.
This is why I try to avoid the word judgment entirely - it is so obfuscated in its meaning and used in so many ways for so many reasons with so much confusion surrounding it, I find it safer to avoid using it completely.