The Living Force
Here is a quote from the book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. But from my experience I can confirm that this is how many male friendships are formed - trough conflict. Which is quite contrary to what we are being told - that using the physical force to defend yourself is bad. So you can say that our educational system is not at all oriented toward men. Which is no wonder since the women dominate that field.
Synchronistic with re-editing this last section, my son uncharacteristically got into a conflict at school. During third grade recess two of his good friends, also uncharacteristically, started teasing him, and when they would not stop he pushed each of them. This earned them all a trip to the principal’s office. The principal is a strict but exceptionally wise and kind woman. My son’s offense, using physical force to resolve a conflict, was judged as the most serious violation of school policy, but his friends’ were also held responsible for their part and given an enlightening lecture on teasing.
My son, not used to being in trouble, had a good cry about it all. He then agreed that a one day loss of recess plus writing letters of apology to his friends were fair consequences. Two days later, I asked him how things were going now between him and the two friends. With a look of surprise and delight, he told me: “It’s really funny, daddy. Now, it feels like we’re even better friends than we were before.”