Theoretical Concepts
Hellinger’s approach is based on several theoretical concepts. These are well outlined in Weber’s book Zweierlei Glück [Second Chance] (Weber, 1994), in the English re-working of the book by Hellinger, Beaumont and Weber (Hellinger, 1998) and in Zawidowski’s Family Staging (Zawidowski, 1999). These concepts explain processes that lead to either smooth family functioning or to an unbalancing of the family equilibrium and resulting symptom development.
1. The Family ‘Clan’: The Right to Belong to a System of Love
According to Hellinger’s model, family members are connected by a deep bond of love. Every person born or brought into the system by marriage has the right to belong. The completeness of the system is important and no one should be excluded. A family system in Hellinger’s model is multigenerational, including children, their parents and grandparents, the parents’ siblings, and sometimes great-grandparents and anybody who has made space for someone else. A previous spouse, a deceased child, or a stillborn baby may belong to the system. Every member must have his or her special place. Deceased people belong to the system as long as a current family member has a significant memory of that person. Since family members have a right to be part of the system, exclusions disrupt the family. They unbalance the family equilibrium and a member of a subsequent generation may try to rectify the imbalance (see further below.)
2. Hierarchical Order: One’s Special Place
Family groups organise themselves according to a specific hierarchical order, following a chronological hierarchy within an immediate family and a generational hierarchy in relation to the wider family system. In a new family the first born child, alive or deceased, occupies the first place, the second born the second place, and so forth. If there have been previous partners, the first spouse takes the first position, followed by the second spouse, etc. These hierarchies are ‘natural’. However, within the intergenerational context, the order is reversed. When a new family is founded, the previous generation allows the new family to take precedence. The hierarchical order must not be violated. When the family system is ‘in order’ and everyone belonging to the system has his or her honoured and respected place in mind and heart, family members will experience a sense of joy, harmony, completeness and contentment (Hellinger, 1998).
3. The Group Conscience: Systemic Equilibrium
Hellinger assumes that extended family groups have a group conscience. The group conscience is governed by principles of fairness and loyalty. The rules of the conscience bind family members to the group in the form of ‘moral’ obligations. The group conscience acts in the service of the group but the processes remain largely outside people’s conscious awareness. The conscience judges whether or not the actions of family members are in accordance with the rules of the system, and if rule violation has occurred, will press for retribution. We believe the concept of the group conscience overlaps with Boszormenyi-Nagi’s concept of Relational Ethics. Relational Ethics can be understood as an unspoken systemic contract, which is based on the principles of transgenerational solidarity and fairness (Boszormenyi-Nagi, 1987: 309).
4. Symptom Development: The Violation of Rules
The violation of rules can take the form of an exclusion of a family member or may result from an imbalance between giving and taking.