Kicking Anti-Depressants Outta My Life

BrightLight11 said:
I hesitated to post, but after discussing it with friends and having a long talk with my SO, I decided I really just needed to get over myself. I was embarrassed when I really didn't need to be. Who wouldn't be depressed living in the world we live in?!

Exactly! The more I learn about what is happening in the world, the more I am thankful for meeting all of you, because otherwise, with all the honesty and without drama, I wouldn't see any good reason remaining here (on this planet). So, yeah, thank you for sharing and allowing us to get to know you a bit better and appreciate your personal struggle. :flowers:
 
Keit said:
BrightLight11 said:
I hesitated to post, but after discussing it with friends and having a long talk with my SO, I decided I really just needed to get over myself. I was embarrassed when I really didn't need to be. Who wouldn't be depressed living in the world we live in?!

Exactly! The more I learn about what is happening in the world, the more I am thankful for meeting all of you, because otherwise, with all the honesty and without drama, I wouldn't see any good reason remaining here (on this planet). So, yeah, thank you for sharing and allowing us to get to know you a bit better and appreciate your personal struggle. :flowers:
Ditto that and well done! :hug2: :hug2:
 
Hey Brightlight, I kicked xanax and benzo withdrawal is the worst of any drug so I sympathize totally. I can't tell you how horrible it was. All I can say is GO SLOW with your taper. These drugs are evil. Wishing you good luck.
 
Congratulations, BrightLight!

I know where you're coming from, I was on Zoloft for about ten years and started a long taper late last year that lasted for a few months. I last took the drug near the beginning of December have been without it ever since.

The hardest part for me has been that, after so many years of medication, I've been having to relearn how to self-regulate my emotions again. That was... fun. For awhile I was getting these waves of fury interspersed with dragging apathy. That seems to be fading, but now I've started dealing with random waves of anxiety. Anxiety / panic attacks were what got me started on the drug in the first place - it was like having short circuits in my brain that suddenly caused floods of stress hormones that were making it very difficult to function. I have enough concern about going back to that level that I bought some 5HTP to have on hand. I'd rather not have to take anything for it, but if exercise and cognitive self-therapy aren't enough it's there to be utilized. I'm hopeful that this is another phase of readjustment that will pass.

You can do this. We both can! Hang in there. :)
 
Congratulations BrightLight11 and hang in there. It may not feel like it but the worst is behind you. Mustering up the resolve to make a plan and sticking with it like you have is half the battle.

Like you said you have a great support system behind you!

herondancer said:
Keep on keeping on. :hug:
Ditto :cool2:
 
High five Honey! :rockon: I'm so happy for you!! I know that every day won't be peaches and cream, so don't hesitate to reach out. I've been in similar shoes regarding situational stress and depression and the medication never made my situation better, it just made me not care as much-what a terrible way to live. Ugh!! I'm very glad you've made this decision and I support you 100%. I know the world at large is depressing, but remember... There is a house, full of people who care about you, and a forum that is always there to talk to. You got this! :hug: :hug:
 
Great work BrightLight11! You've accomplished a lot and I'm glad you're sharing your story.

I'm reading Nora Gedaudus' book Rethinking Fatigue, and there's some info in there that could be helpful. The title is on fatigue, but she really covers brain chemistry in ketosis and other related stuff. It's a short book and kind of like a series of articles. One of the things she talks about is using L-tryptophan assist in the production of serotonin, but that may be of use once you're totally free from the anti-depressants. In Primal Body Primal Mind, Nora suggests to not take L-tryptophan if you're using SSRIs or MAOIs unless you do so under the guidance of a healthcare practitioner. If you have a sauna blanket that also might help in detoxing from effexor.
 
truth seeker said:
Keit said:
BrightLight11 said:
I hesitated to post, but after discussing it with friends and having a long talk with my SO, I decided I really just needed to get over myself. I was embarrassed when I really didn't need to be. Who wouldn't be depressed living in the world we live in?!

Exactly! The more I learn about what is happening in the world, the more I am thankful for meeting all of you, because otherwise, with all the honesty and without drama, I wouldn't see any good reason remaining here (on this planet). So, yeah, thank you for sharing and allowing us to get to know you a bit better and appreciate your personal struggle. :flowers:
Ditto that and well done! :hug2: :hug2:

So true!
I 3rd that! :)

Also on in order to understand more about brain chemistry and antidepressants, Dr Tent has amazing videos explaining things, among others.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgeIIN92KK4

Hopefully he will be guest in the future on the The Health an Wellness- Sott Radio soon!
Check this out:
http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,36941.0.html

Congratulations and :rockon:
:hug2:
 
Congratulations BrightLight11! I've suffered from chronic depression and was considering taking Effexor, but I declined after reading about the horrible withdrawal effects. I don't know what your circumstances are, but part of what's helped me is reading When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate for understanding how damaging stress can be, and how we can even be stressed without consciously knowing it! The ideas of self-acceptance and not worrying so much about pleasing others helped me heal both mentally and physically (I wouldn't have picked up the book if I wasn't having symptoms of colitis). That, and knowing there are many resources of support, including the forum, as you've mentioned.

Another thing that has helped improve my mood a lot is eating at least three egg yolks cooked in fat every morning, with no whites. My blood tests have always shown lower than average cholesterol, so perhaps all these years I haven't been getting enough for proper brain function. If you're not already doing that, it might be beneficial with the 5-htp. I don't feel 100% yet, but I'm doing much better than I was a few years ago. So I wish you luck with your healing. :hug2:
 
Congratulations on kicking the meds and posting your story on the forum.

It's unfortunate that so many people take them in the first place; as if it is their only option. Aside from the zombie-fying effects and the withdrawl issues, I've never observed anti-depressants to work at all in the long run. People on anti-depressants were the most depressed people I've worked with. Some would argue that it's because they're 'depressed' but I would beg to differ. They needed to change/improve their life situations and their interactions with people, not change their brain chemistry by taking pills. It was as if taking the pills gave them license to not work on what was truly ailing them.

:thup: for your transition.
 
Thank you to everyone who has chimed in with your suggestions and personal experiences. I already feel better for having posted. Besides embarrassment, there's a 'not worthy' program running as well. I mean heck, the world is burning and there is mass suffering taking place and I'm talking about my experience with Big Pharma! They seem far from being equally important. But I think I'm finally starting to 'get' that I matter as well.

Captainmurphy said:
We all want to feel like we are in control of our lives but as we know there are many forces out there that actually do control us, be it our governments, pharmaceutical companies, gmo companies, the list goes on and on. It is important to understand that we all are actually victims of outside control and that we need to be vigilantly cutting our ties from these controllers.

This has been a definite AIM of mine for several years now. Each "tie", however knotted it may be, must be untangled.

truth seeker said:
Keit said:
BrightLight11 said:
I hesitated to post, but after discussing it with friends and having a long talk with my SO, I decided I really just needed to get over myself. I was embarrassed when I really didn't need to be. Who wouldn't be depressed living in the world we live in?!

Exactly! The more I learn about what is happening in the world, the more I am thankful for meeting all of you, because otherwise, with all the honesty and without drama, I wouldn't see any good reason remaining here (on this planet). So, yeah, thank you for sharing and allowing us to get to know you a bit better and appreciate your personal struggle. :flowers:
Ditto that and well done! :hug2: :hug2:

Thank you Keit and truthseeker. This brought on tears because of how true it is! I've finally found what I've been yearning for and am starting to feel safe for the first time ever.

zlyja said:
I don't know what your circumstances are, but part of what's helped me is reading When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate for understanding how damaging stress can be, and how we can even be stressed without consciously knowing it! The ideas of self-acceptance and not worrying so much about pleasing others helped me heal both mentally and physically.

Reading When the Body Says No was a huge wake-up call for me. I'd been the 'caretaker/people-pleaser' most of my life until I got my hands on Unholy Hungers, The Narcisssitic Family, and Mate's work. I've made some progress but still have a ways to go.

Odyssey said:
It's unfortunate that so many people take them in the first place; as if it is their only option. Aside from the zombie-fying effects and the withdrawl issues, I've never observed anti-depressants to work at all in the long run. People on anti-depressants were the most depressed people I've worked with. Some would argue that it's because they're 'depressed' but I would beg to differ. They needed to change/improve their life situations and their interactions with people, not change their brain chemistry by taking pills. It was as if taking the pills gave them license to not work on what was truly ailing them.

When I was taking my highest dose (150mg) I felt 'zombielike' at times (depending on the day). More often than not though, I was my typical people pleasing, outgoing, flirty, everything's A-Ok, self. Perhaps the drugs numbed me enough to keep up that 'persona' because although I seemed 'fine and dandy', I wasn't. I was still anxious, depressed, and just plain pissed off. So no, they didn't work!

Since I've tapered down to the 35mg, I've noticed that my 'true' feelings are coming through again and I welcome each one of them (foreign as they may feel at times!). Finding The Work and all that entails, is what has enabled me to make changes in bettering myself, not a drug. If I'm depressed about anything, it's the fact that I took them to begin with! :headbash: Oh well, onward and upward.
 
Hi BrightLight11, I'm glad you shared as well-it is a really important topic I think and it is great that you have been able to quit the anti-depressants! My nephew has been taking anti-depressants since he was 12 I believe. I have noticed that he will try to go off the drugs, even quitting but then suddenly again start back up. Reading what has been written in this thread, helps me to understand what he may be going through.
 
Congratulations! ^_^ I know we don't know each other, but I'm proud of you! You've shown great courage... hang in there!
 
Hi there BrightLight, just chiming in to give my love and support. I am very proud of you for not only ditching this drug but also facing the forum with the truth. Getting off of antidepressants is a pretty big friggin deal, and it's good you have this network's support.

Yes, I am BL's SO of 18 years, and I wanted to give a little background here. Early on we were gripped in the naive daze of youth, but the majority of our time together has been in a mature, adult relationship. I can remember the BL before she started taking Effexor. At the time, she was experiencing depression and had a general amount of anxiety. She saw a lot of her friends die at an early age, had to be a care-taker to her mother, and grew up way too fast. In hindsight, I can see now that she needed an outlet, something like this forum and SOTT, a group of caring friends, and to be engaged (both in conversations and 4th way work), not pills. "Here, take these, they change your brain chemistry so you can FEEL better"...What the??? That's crazy...so to speak.

The BL I knew prior to medication was very active, sure she had her depressed moments, but that is all part of the package. The greatest difference in her since she started to taper, besides being more clear headed, is that she is gaining her empathy back. It's not that she was not empathetic while on Effexor, but it had been tamed, like everything else. She has always been what I call an 'empath'. She is very observant and can feel what others feel, but with this drug she had difficulty feeling her own feelings, let alone someone else's. When she started her taper, I remember thinking, "This is the woman I fell in love with, in all her glory, emotions and all"

As far as her attempt to quit completely back around New Year's, I think she can be the type that bites off a little more than she can chew. I wouldn't say it was from a lack of research, although there is very limited data on tapering off such drugs, one must read blogs and other forums to do their research, it is not like Big Pharma is going to study how to titrate off, then give you the answers. But I do think she did it a bit too fast (she can be a bit stubborn like that ;) ). It did take a good 6 to 8 weeks after the last taper to not feel any side effects. Obviously going off clean will be the hardest step. We are prepared, though. She did not mention that she is also taking Magnesium and loads of fish oil. We have the 5-htp as well, with her currently taking a low dose, and will increase it after her last dose of Effexor. With the help of the network, me nursing her, the supplements, and her sheer will, I have no doubt that she can do this, but it will be one of the most difficult transitions of her life. We are prepared to face it.

Aya, thanks for the book suggestion, we have ordered it. :)
And thanks Ren, for the suggestion of the Fur Sauna...we don't have the funds available yet, but will in the near future, and it is certainly on our list of important purchases.
 
BrightLight11 said:
Thank you to everyone who has chimed in with your suggestions and personal experiences. I already feel better for having posted. Besides embarrassment, there's a 'not worthy' program running as well. I mean heck, the world is burning and there is mass suffering taking place and I'm talking about my experience with Big Pharma! They seem far from being equally important. But I think I'm finally starting to 'get' that I matter as well.

Congrats BL! I'm very happy to hear that your tapering off is going well! Of course you matter, hun, and we're here for you every step of the way! :hug2:

CNS said:
With the help of the network, me nursing her, the supplements, and her sheer will, I have no doubt that she can do this, but it will be one of the most difficult transitions of her life. We are prepared to face it.

I'm very happy that BL has such a very caring and compassionate SO! With your help, I have no doubt she will succeed! :D
 
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