Lessons

[mocachapeau]

I've been thinking a lot about the lessons lately. I realize that they're pretty much universal for 3D beings, but not knowing which lessons I may have already learned in past incarnations, I have been trying to identify the ones with which this incarnation may have been programmed to provide me the opportunities to learn. I figured the best place to start was to look at the issues in my life I find the hardest to deal with. It would seem that they all lead back to the same subject - my physical body.

What I've been struggling with most recently is a strong reaction to a rather difficult financial situation. Money problems stress me out in a big way, and it causes me to loose focus on my efforts in the Work. I've been forced to eat less organic food because of the cost, but I've also lost a lot of motivation for the EE and meditation which, of course, costs nothing. I feel like I'm just floundering at the moment.

I spent many years catering to all my physical desires - sex, alcohol, pot - anything that was pure physical pleasure. I allowed these things to take precedent over what was important in my life for a long time. And I think this was caused by emotional reactions to everything going on in my life, and possibly a desire to bury them. Many of the things I've done in my life of which I am the most ashamed have been a result of the addiction to these desires. Having been raised in a narcissistic family, I left home and entered the real world without the necessary emotional tools to face it all.

Basically, I get the impression that the main lesson with which I have presented myself is simply to learn how not to let the sensations of the physical body distract me, or prevent me from functioning the way I know I should.

But the emotions themselves are sensations of the physical body. And from what I understand, they are not something to work past, but something to work WITH. I think this is where I'm having the most difficulty - learning how to use all my emotions in a positive way, instead of letting some of them steer me from my desired path.

What struck me about all this is that this lesson seems to be pointing toward the idea of how difficult it is to stay on course while being "trapped" in this body. That, although this physical state may help us to learn our lessons more quickly, due to the presence of the emotions, it also presents us with the addictions that can derail us from the learning process, quite effectively. And so I get the impression that what I am being presented with is the result of impatience.

According to the C's, about 300,000 years ago, we humans chose the experience of these physical bodies because of the desire to accelerate the learning process - our evolution - I think, due to the experience of emotions. Today, we are apparently approaching a moment in which we will be presented with the opportunity to get out of this situation, if we so desire. And so, I find it interesting that, arriving at this juncture, my main lesson in this incarnation seems to be one that is pointing out all that is undesirable about this physical state we are in.

There are two different ways to experience the 3D state, right? STS and STO? Is it possible that what I am learning, if anything, is how much I hate being in this STS state? I may not be qualifying to "graduate" to 4D, but I feel like I'm sick of this STS thing!

Does any of this make any sense? Is anyone else out there feeling anything similar? Or, as usual, am I missing something important?

 

[Voyageur]

Does any of this make any sense? Is anyone else out there feeling anything similar? Or, as usual, am I missing something important?

mocachapeau, FWIW, at least for me and probable a few other here, by degree we feel these things too, the body centric and mental drivers that posses us through the influences of these things you say and so much more. Don't think your missing anything, thinking about it, writing and making small changes where you can, furthers you along your path.

The other day was thinking about what the C's said about STO being, and i don't have the exact quote, but essentially if in acting, is not caring about yourself; hope i've got that right. For some reason this brought to mind Pepperfritz saving her dog. Maybe in her case this was an instantaneous act, her affection for another without regard for self. We see this time and again with peoples selfless actions. On the other hand, knowledge to choose without being food is working for your own destiny. Years ago STS/STO was not probably in the lexicon of many here, yet we are here learning by steps, sometimes we go backwards and sometimes we may struggle just to move our feet forward. People here offer so many ways to see things in different lights yet for everything that i should be doing, i still struggle to do or learn.

Keep looking at your machine and know that it is the same for many - you're not alone. :)

 

[Buddy]

I allowed these things to take precedent over what was important in my life for a long time. And I think this was caused by emotional reactions to everything going on in my life, and possibly a desire to bury them. Many of the things I've done in my life of which I am the most ashamed have been a result of the addiction to these desires. Having been raised in a narcissistic family, I left home and entered the real world without the necessary emotional tools to face it all.

Basically, I get the impression that the main lesson with which I have presented myself is simply to learn how not to let the sensations of the physical body distract me, or prevent me from functioning the way I know I should.

Hi mocachapeau. You may not like the sound of this, but it looks to me like you're right in the middle of an important lesson and how you handle it will be important for your growth. I'm referring to being in the state of realizing and living the consequences of mistakes made in the past.

I am in that same boat, and it very much encourages a state of humility (which is good for me) and some less-than-optimum situations and circumstances which I have decided to ride out to the end, no matter what. I believe there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but for now, I'm just taking it one day at a time, allowing myself to experience the devil that is in these details and to keep my chin up and pointed towards my Aim. Sometimes, that feels like all I can do, but it's enough to keep going and so far, all I've asked from the Universe is help not to forget myself.

I may not be qualifying to "graduate" to 4D,

Don't be so hard on yourself. It looks like you are in the 'qualifying' process to me.

...but I feel like I'm sick of this STS thing!

I do too, sometimes, but that's an identification. Let yourself be sick of whatever you're sick of. The feeling will pass through you once you stop resisting it. It may come again, but you have to keep stuff moving through you and learn what you can about it before it's gone so you can add the knowledge and experience to your BEing. Maybe it's just the growing pains.

Hope this helps a bit. Just know we care.

 

[mocachapeau]

Keep looking at your machine and know that it is the same for many - you're not alone. :)

Hi Parallax,
Along with the rest of what you wrote, this seems to be the best advice. And as far as not being alone in this, well I guess I know that, but sometimes I don't really feel it. I set certain goals for myself and when I feel like I'm losing focus, sliding back down the slope or being "prevented" from moving forward, it becomes more and more clear how much it's all about finding my own personal inner strength, motivation, perseverance - whatever you want to call it. Those are the moments when I feel very alone in what I'm doing. But it does help to discuss things with people here who can give advice based on experience. Thanks.

Hi mocachapeau. You may not like the sound of this, but it looks to me like you're right in the middle of an important lesson and how you handle it will be important for your growth. I'm referring to being in the state of realizing and living the consequences of mistakes made in the past.

I am in that same boat, and it very much encourages a state of humility (which is good for me) and some less-than-optimum situations and circumstances which I have decided to ride out to the end, no matter what. I believe there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but for now, I'm just taking it one day at a time, allowing myself to experience the devil that is in these details and to keep my chin up and pointed towards my Aim. Sometimes, that feels like all I can do, but it's enough to keep going and so far, all I've asked from the Universe is help not to forget myself.

Hi Bud,
I think you're right, it's all we really can do. I try to bring the best of myself into each moment (not always easy), and I have certainly learned not to dwell on the bad choices (or lack of action) that got me here. It's the "living the consequences" part that can be tough. I am married with two children, and I want the best for all of them. And it eats me up inside when I think how each step forward in the Work can help them as much as it helps me, but I've just taken a step or two backward. I also feel like I'm letting MYSELF down, too. But again, it really does help to discuss these things with people who understand.

I do too, sometimes, but that's an identification. Let yourself be sick of whatever you're sick of. The feeling will pass through you once you stop resisting it. It may come again, but you have to keep stuff moving through you and learn what you can about it before it's gone so you can add the knowledge and experience to your BEing. Maybe it's just the growing pains.

I definitely need to learn from this feeling, and learn to live with it, because I don't think it will pass. Just being in this body makes me STS, and I'm starting to get the feeling that my soul, or essence is really STO (or wants to be). That's why I wonder if maybe the main lesson I need to learn is how undesirable being STS really is - it affects everything I do. I am also wondering if it may be the main lesson for a large number of souls who have incarnated onto 3D earth at this particular "time", because we want to put an end to this darkness.

 

[Voyageur]

Thanks for posting back mocachapeau, your words help me too.

I feel like I'm losing focus, sliding back down the slope or being "prevented" from moving forward, it becomes more and more clear how much it's all about finding my own personal inner strength, motivation, perseverance - whatever you want to call it. Those are the moments when I feel very alone in what I'm doing. But it does help to discuss things with people here who can give advice based on experience. Thanks.

Mocachapeau, Bud said,

…it looks to me like you're right in the middle of an important lesson and how you handle it will be important for your growth.

Internal struggles caused by external issues do indeed prevent/impede us from moving forward and if I read this right, these are the moments you feel most alone and finding internal tools to see past is sometimes never easy. Each of these external influence are what each of us face and the only thing i could say is that often so many are outside our control so we can only evaluate one at a time and work on those that we can learn from to try and overcome. Wish i could confirm “advise based on experience”, but this is just not so, these things burden my world too and require careful considerations, yet gentleness in review, even if it hurts to see. Lessons are not instantaneous for some, so all we can do is keep working on the little things - you know when you know and not until you know.

Bud also said; (bold mine)

I am in that same boat, and it very much encourages a state of humility (which is good for me) and some less-than-optimum situations and circumstances which I have decided to ride out to the end, no matter what. I believe there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but for now, I'm just taking it one day at a time, allowing myself to experience the devil that is in these details and to keep my chin up and pointed towards my Aim. Sometimes, that feels like all I can do, but it's enough to keep going and so far, all I've asked from the Universe is help not to forget myself.

You said;

…I am married with two children, and I want the best for all of them. And it eats me up inside when I think how each step forward in the Work can help them as much as it helps me, but I've just taken a step or two backward. I also feel like I'm letting MYSELF down, too. But again, it really does help to discuss these things with people who understand.

Understand how you feel. Backwards is past, keep working for your future destiny while trying to be kind with yourself as you look within.

in response to Bud (bold mine)] I definitely need to learn from this feeling, and learn to live with it, because I don't think it will pass. Just being in this body makes me STS, and I'm starting to get the feeling that my soul, or essence is really STO (or wants to be). That's why I wonder if maybe the main lesson I need to learn is how undesirable being STS really is – it affects everything I do. I am also wondering if it may be the main lesson for a large number of souls who have incarnated onto 3D earth at this particular "time", because we want to put an end to this darkness.

FWIW mocachapeau, from what i understand, being STS is our present human constitution and the idea, the possibility of STO understanding is strived for. My understanding will differ from yours as i am still only grasping the edges of this, let alone its true dimension. Recognizing and shedding STS programs seems the cross we bare; and it is difficult work. Until i know, if ever, these thoughts will occupy hopefully my every breath for the remainder of days in this body to try and understand and learn this human lesson; and it scares the heck out of me.

Keep breathing and searching for that spark of light to help you see through the 3D darkness mocachapeau – keep well. :)

 

[shellycheval]

Thank you all for this topic. I too have been dwelling on the subject of lessons all day yesterday and this morning and am forcing myself to consciously face what actions I must take to end the cyclical occurrence of a certain type of lesson. I am humbled by my foolish wishful thinking and misguided good intentions in regards to helping family members financially and with their living situation--now I am also in serious financial straits. The details of this particular situation are better discused in the Family section of the Swamp and I'll save that for later.

I empathize with your struggle Mocachapeau and I identify with your point Bud about

realizing and living the consequences of mistakes made in the past . . . it very much encourages a state of humility (which is good for me) and some less-than-optimum situations and circumstances which I have decided to ride out to the end, no matter what. I believe there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but for now, I'm just taking it one day at a time, allowing myself to experience the devil that is in these details and to keep my chin up and pointed towards my Aim. Sometimes, that feels like all I can do, but it's enough to keep going and so far, all I've asked from the Universe is help not to forget myself.

Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling bad about my issues when I compare them to others who have it so much worse in the world, but I try to acknowledge that my specific situation is about me learning a certain lesson in the this time and place. "Discipline" has been the word of the day for the last several days--lately I have been recognizing how much discipline it takes to stay on the path and do the Work towards spiritual growth.
Not only do I have to acknowledge it, I have to be willing to be more disciplined and then actually take the action.
Words that I find helpful and encouraging are "don't worry about trying to fix everything at once, just take the next right action," and "breathe, take baby steps, and persevere." Reminding my self of these and saying the POTS several times over the course of the day are helping me find the courage to do what is required to learn my lesson well enough to break the karmic cycle and not have to do it all over again and again.
Good luck to all in the lesson struggle.
shellycheval

 

[mocachapeau]

FWIW mocachapeau, from what i understand, being STS is our present human constitution and the idea, the possibility of STO understanding is strived for. My understanding will differ from yours as i am still only grasping the edges of this, let alone its true dimension. Recognizing and shedding STS programs seems the cross we bare; and it is difficult work. Until i know, if ever, these thoughts will occupy hopefully my every breath for the remainder of days in this body to try and understand and learn this human lesson; and it scares the heck out of me.

Yeah! I think that describes what I've been feeling. We are what we are - STS beings. But something inside of us (some of us) feels what is wrong with this. We identify and judge STS behaviour in others all our lives, particularly when it affects US (our hurt egos). But we don't notice that our own behaviour is often exactly the same, in principle, to one extent or another. We learn by osmosis, from a young age, to make excuses for it, justify it whenever someone points it out to us, and thus ignore it. And if we are lucky enough to become aware of it and try to counter it, we discover how ingrained these behaviours are, and how difficult it is to put a stop to them. They're actually NATURAL for STS beings like us! So to call it difficult work is, in my opinion, a gross understatement. In a sense, to do the Work is to go against our very nature. Our physical nature, that is.

Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling bad about my issues when I compare them to others who have it so much worse in the world, but I try to acknowledge that my specific situation is about me learning a certain lesson in the this time and place. "Discipline" has been the word of the day for the last several days--lately I have been recognizing how much discipline it takes to stay on the path and do the Work towards spiritual growth.
Not only do I have to acknowledge it, I have to be willing to be more disciplined and then actually take the action.
Words that I find helpful and encouraging are "don't worry about trying to fix everything at once, just take the next right action," and "breathe, take baby steps, and persevere."

Having read a fair bit about what you've lived through with your husband, shellycheval, I don't think you have any reason to feel guilty. It sounds pretty tough, and it takes a certain amount of strength and courage to get through it and bounce back. There is always someone with heavier issues than us, but that doesn't make our own any easier to deal with. Besides, it's all relative isn't it? Some people's issues may seem like trifles compared to our own, but it may only SEEM that way because those people are probably less equipped to deal with those particular issues than we are. Each person's issues are probably very well suited to who they are and what they need to learn, and therefore difficult for each individual, whatever there issues may be. I guess that's what makes them OUR issues. Wow! I just wrote the word "issues" six times in one short paragraph - very ugly.

Discipline - that's the word I was looking for! I HAVE the motivation but not the discipline. And, "don't worry about trying to fix everything at once, just take the next right action," and "breathe, take baby steps, and persevere." Those ARE very helpful words. Thank you.

 

[Voyageur]

Came across this in another thread posted by Spiral Out in 2008 and seems to fit here and speaks to STO seeking:

Ra: the best way for each seeker in third density to be of service to others is unique to that mind/body/spirit complex. This means that the mind/body/spirit complex must then seek within itself the intelligence of its own discernment as to the way it may best serve other-selves. This will be different for each. There is no best. There is no generalization.

 

[mocachapeau]

Ra: the best way for each seeker in third density to be of service to others is unique to that mind/body/spirit complex. This means that the mind/body/spirit complex must then seek within itself the intelligence of its own discernment as to the way it may best serve other-selves. This will be different for each. There is no best. There is no generalization.

That's the kind of statement that reminds me of how little I know. I mean, I know I've learned a LOT over the last few years, for me, but what I've learned best is that I know NOTHING. I have thought quite a bit about what the best way for me is to help others, and I really don't know that either. Maybe a moment will come where it will become clear. A moment where someone's need is abundantly clear, and my ability to help is evident as well. I also wonder if the answer to that question is already right in front of my face, but I won't see it until I've learned a certain lesson (or two).

 

[Nathancat7]

mocachapeau wrote:

What I've been struggling with most recently is a strong reaction to a rather difficult financial situation. Money problems stress me out in a big way, and it causes me to loose focus on my efforts in the Work. I've been forced to eat less organic food because of the cost, but I've also lost a lot of motivation for the EE and meditation which, of course, costs nothing. I feel like I'm just floundering at the moment.

Mocachapeau, in these difficult financial times money problems are going to stress many out, especially in regards to materialistic programing. But you are doing yourself and you're family a favor by doing the work. It really is not, as you know, an escapist endeavor; but I should talk, as I am a bit of a coward in this endeavor, you might have to get a bit creative on how you make ends meet in cooperation with your family--but you can do it. It just sounds like you are a bit unhappy with being a slave to money, maybe I am wrong.

edit: Moderator fixed quotes

 

[mocachapeau]

It just sounds like you are a bit unhappy with being a slave to money, maybe I am wrong.

You're definitely not wrong about that. I'm getting pretty tired of STS in general, or so it would seem, and money is a big part of it. But the money issue is a biggie for me. I think it plays a leading role in my lessons.

While my wife and I work from paycheck to paycheck trying to make ends meet, desperately sometimes (like now), my parents are back home sitting on quite a sizable fortune. Neither of them did anything to earn it, it was all inherited from my grandfather and my great-grandfather's estates. And my great-grandfather didn't do anything to earn his money either, it was also inherited. When my mom became an adult, her dad set her up with money for life - not rich, just no worries. Still, I had the pleasure of listening to her complain throughout my youth about her mom keeping all that money to herself, doing very little with it, and never offering to help. She kept saying, "It's all fine and dandy to know we'll inherit it some day, but what good does that do us now, at the time we need it most, while raising kids." Today I see her doing the same thing her mom did.

I can ask, but I am usually made to feel guilty and irresponsible. And besides, if they really wanted to help, they would - they know my situation. By asking, I'm just making them feel obligated to do something they don't really want to do. So I stopped asking a few years back and concentrated on being self-sufficient. Now I'm in a deep hole.

I know I have to learn how to get on by myself, and it's what I'm trying to do. But we've spread ourselves too thin. I think you're right about being a bit creative - a lot creative, actually.

 

[Buddy]

While my wife and I work from paycheck to paycheck trying to make ends meet, desperately sometimes (like now), my parents are back home sitting on quite a sizable fortune. Neither of them did anything to earn it, it was all inherited from my grandfather and my great-grandfather's estates. And my great-grandfather didn't do anything to earn his money either, it was also inherited. When my mom became an adult, her dad set her up with money for life - not rich, just no worries. Still, I had the pleasure of listening to her complain throughout my youth about her mom keeping all that money to herself, doing very little with it, and never offering to help. She kept saying, "It's all fine and dandy to know we'll inherit it some day, but what good does that do us now, at the time we need it most, while raising kids." Today I see her doing the same thing her mom did.

I can ask, but I am usually made to feel guilty and irresponsible. And besides, if they really wanted to help, they would - they know my situation. By asking, I'm just making them feel obligated to do something they don't really want to do. So I stopped asking a few years back and concentrated on being self-sufficient. Now I'm in a deep hole.

In my younger days, I wasted quite a bit of time in self-pity, thinking that if I had just been born into a well-to-do family, I wouldn't have the kinds of problems that I've had all my life. I've had to face the possibility that I chose my own circumstances on some level because of what I needed to learn in this life.

After coming to know myself somewhat, I now realize that if I had been born into money I would simply have wasted it and been worse off, character wise, than I am now osit, so I've come to terms with me as I am.

I know I have to learn how to get on by myself, and it's what I'm trying to do. But we've spread ourselves too thin. I think you're right about being a bit creative - a lot creative, actually.

According to the C's, if you will find and follow your "passion", money will follow. It is said to be a universal principle that never, ever fails.

I do feel for you because I recognize similarities with my life circumstances, but there's another way to look at it too. Whatever our weaknesses are pre-Work, may develop into our greatest strengths if we keep going with a little faith in Universe that we are doing what "She" wants us to do. You will make it, mocachapeau. I have faith in you too. :)

 

[Menna]

What does "OSIT" mean?

 

[Vulcan59]

Hi Menna,

OSIT = Or so I think, made famous by Ark, OSIT. ;) Other commonly used abbreviations in this forum can be found here. :)

 

[Menna]

Nice, Thanks