Lessons

[Bluestar]

You are not alone Mocachapeau,

having experience financial difficulties for the past two years, at times it is not easy. What I have gained from this experience is looking at what is it I really need? Having gone through three or four times my entire belongings and looking real hard at all the material things collected, then asking myself "do I really need this" had three or four garage sales and raised quite a bit of money for things that I really did need. Like food :)

Cleared out the old stuff that collected dust. Kind of like working on myself. Clearing out the things that have layers of dust on them and observing it all.

Also have the issue with my body and how I treat it. Failure comes up quite a lot in my predator mind. What I then look at is the positive aspects. Not necessarily washing away the emotions with positive explanations. I am responsible for where I am at present. Not the economy, not the bank that holds the note on my house, me. Regardless of their part in this. Thus "i" allows me to eat the foods that are harmful, or allows my thoughts to wonder. And only I can change it. Two steps forward three steps back and I usually trip on my own self and whine a bit. Get up, dust myself off and start again. Will keep on getting up and trying and one day the "Doing" will just be there. Have faith in yourself. For you are here on this forum and that is a great something. :D

 

[Nawd]

Your story sounds very similar to mine. My parent also received their inherited fortune from the previous generations. The only difference is that my great grandfather worked hard farming, and it continued and now rests with my father. He however won't let me carry on the tradition because I'm female and he doesn't think the years of him teaching me how to farm, did any good because I'm just a girl, and should be in the kitchen. Meanwhile my brother has no interest in farming, so he wants to sell it. Even though I'd LOVE to farm, I know the hard work involved.

So we live paycheck to paycheck too, sold pretty much everything (not that we had much). Now I have a camera, a computer and very moderate amounts of garage sale clothing for everyone.

I did actually try to follow my passions, which was photography. I had an entire studio once, but it didn't work out because I needed the money and ended up selling everything after my fulltime job cut everyones hours and my income by 70%. :(

At that point, I followed my dreams to do beach photography down here in South Alabama. Then the oil spill happened. Heh. But I do trust in Life and I do trust in myself to pull through this once again, because I have always done ok, and I'm certain I'll dust myself off again and find a way to follow my passion in a different angle. :)

Just remember, you are not alone.

It just sounds like you are a bit unhappy with being a slave to money, maybe I am wrong.

You're definitely not wrong about that. I'm getting pretty tired of STS in general, or so it would seem, and money is a big part of it. But the money issue is a biggie for me. I think it plays a leading role in my lessons.

While my wife and I work from paycheck to paycheck trying to make ends meet, desperately sometimes (like now), my parents are back home sitting on quite a sizable fortune. Neither of them did anything to earn it, it was all inherited from my grandfather and my great-grandfather's estates. And my great-grandfather didn't do anything to earn his money either, it was also inherited. When my mom became an adult, her dad set her up with money for life - not rich, just no worries. Still, I had the pleasure of listening to her complain throughout my youth about her mom keeping all that money to herself, doing very little with it, and never offering to help. She kept saying, "It's all fine and dandy to know we'll inherit it some day, but what good does that do us now, at the time we need it most, while raising kids." Today I see her doing the same thing her mom did.

I can ask, but I am usually made to feel guilty and irresponsible. And besides, if they really wanted to help, they would - they know my situation. By asking, I'm just making them feel obligated to do something they don't really want to do. So I stopped asking a few years back and concentrated on being self-sufficient. Now I'm in a deep hole.

I know I have to learn how to get on by myself, and it's what I'm trying to do. But we've spread ourselves too thin. I think you're right about being a bit creative - a lot creative, actually.

 

[mocachapeau]

In my younger days, I wasted quite a bit of time in self-pity, thinking that if I had just been born into a well-to-do family, I wouldn't have the kinds of problems that I've had all my life. I've had to face the possibility that I chose my own circumstances on some level because of what I needed to learn in this life.

After coming to know myself somewhat, I now realize that if I had been born into money I would simply have wasted it and been worse off, character wise, than I am now osit, so I've come to terms with me as I am.

I'm pretty sure I chose my circumstances, as well, and I have learned. I did have a bit of money in my early twenties, and I wasted it. Although, that was the period when I felt completely lost, having arrived in the adult world unable to cope emotionally (narcissistic parents). It helped me get through a rough period, but I think that period might have been shorter if I hadn't had that money to fall back on. And along the lines of what you've said, I feel that my character has really only developed since I've had to learn to work for money and be happy with what I've got. Now that I think of it, this mixture of circumstances has allowed me to live both sides of the experience, and I have to admit that having money allowed me to remain stagnant in my emotional development. Difficult though this situation is, or feels, I'll probably come out of it a better person...with worse clothing.

One thing I have learned is the effect that money can have on people. I know my parents are good people deep down, but all this money has caused them to behave rather poorly, selfishly. And I swore a few years back that when the day comes that I inherit the wad, I will arrange my living situation so that I can direct some interest money into my kids' accounts, to help them out a bit. But only after they have become responsible adults.

Edit: Of course today, with what's coming in the next five years, I will never see that inheritance. And knowing this has helped me to better understand the importance of working hard at achieving my goals for other reasons than making money.

That's the part that bothers me about all this - I am no longer the irresponsible kid I used to be. My situation is not what it is because of frivolousness, it's due to trying to provide for my family, any way I can. Last December we had to take out a rather large loan because both my kids needed braces, and my wife needed about $20,000 dollars of dental surgery in order to save her teeth - all at the same time! The monthly payments are about the equivalent of a two-week paycheck (one quarter our monthly income, almost). I didn't exactly blow it on beer!

According to the C's, if you will find and follow your "passion", money will follow. It is said to be a universal principle that never, ever fails.

Music is definitely my passion, and I'm trying to put as much time as I can into my composing. And oddly enough, I was approached recently to embark on a writing/recording project with the potential for making a bit of cash. It sort of brings new meaning to what Nathancat7 wrote:

you might have to get a bit creative on how you make ends meet in cooperation with your family--but you can do it.

I just have to learn to concentrate on the creative aspect for the sake of the creation alone, not on the monetary rewards I'd like it to bring. That's tough for me in this situation.

Thanks for the helpful words Bud.

I'll have to answer the other posts a little later - it's time to get the kids to bed.

 

[Buddy]

I just have to learn to concentrate on the creative aspect for the sake of the creation alone, not on the monetary rewards I'd like it to bring. That's tough for me in this situation.

Maybe it won't feel so tough if you think of the time spent on your musical work as 'escaping into the moment' (away from the internal considerings and worries that bother you). If you focus on the details to get things 'perfect' and treat it as an act of creative giving of your energy to Universe, you may be able to get so into the moment that there will be no distractions, no concerns for the future...just a pure giving that's open to any or all possibilities. :)

 

[mocachapeau]

had three or four garage sales and raised quite a bit of money for things that I really did need. Like food :)

That's a very good idea. I'm sure I could come up with a few goodies from the garage.

Thus "i" allows me to eat the foods that are harmful, or allows my thoughts to wonder. And only I can change it. Two steps forward three steps back and I usually trip on my own self and whine a bit. Get up, dust myself off and start again. Will keep on getting up and trying and one day the "Doing" will just be there.

I think the idea of loving myself the way I am is starting to creep in. I need to accept the fact that taking those three steps back is part of how I will do things because that's who I am, and that's okay. I'll get there if I don't give up.

But I do trust in Life and I do trust in myself to pull through this once again, because I have always done ok, and I'm certain I'll dust myself off again and find a way to follow my passion in a different angle. :)

Just remember, you are not alone.

I'm trying to keep this in mind, as often as I can. And also what shellycheval wrote, that there are others out there with more difficult situations than my own.

I was just telling my wife tonight about this conversation and what struck me the hardest, again, is the beauty of the community that is being built here. You have all been so very helpful with what feels to me as "my petty problems". And your always supportive and encouraging.

I just want you all to know how much I appreciate it.

 

[mocachapeau]

Maybe it won't feel so tough if you think of the time spent on your musical work as 'escaping into the moment' (away from the internal considerings and worries that bother you). If you focus on the details to get things 'perfect' and treat it as an act of creative giving of your energy to Universe, you may be able to get so into the moment that there will be no distractions, no concerns for the future...just a pure giving that's open to any or all possibilities. :)

I'm going to write that down and pin it up over my computer, Bud. I think that's exactly the state of mind I need to achieve.

 

[Bluestar]

I was just telling my wife tonight about this conversation and what struck me the hardest, again, is the beauty of the community that is being built here. You have all been so very helpful with what feels to me as "my petty problems". And your always supportive and encouraging.

I just want you all to know how much I appreciate it.

From my point of view your problems are not petty. They are yours and you are important. You are part of the Divine Cosmic Mind. The lessons and memory you create in this here and now is incorporated into the great "All" And remember All things are lessons. By beating ourselves up are we not in an obscure way saying the Divine Cosmic Mind is wrong or petty? Now I do this as well, then I come to a rational thought process and I see where my thinking is saying just that. Using it as a stepping stone I go to another level. Yes I fall backwards...a lot. Only to repeat the process again. Buds words are very powerful and thank you for them.

Now I seem to not dwell on self pity so much, just the feeling that this present situation will eventually pass. What can I take with me when it does pass?

 

[Iron]

I dont know if you are aware of a website called the simple dollar, mochapeau?
Lots of advice on saving, and investing.
Perhaps you could learn how to invest, if you already dont know how. Even if you dont end up investing, the added knowledge about money will benefit you on the long run.

 

[WIN 52]

I think many of us can relate to this.

I was in Import Export with China in the 90's. I went into that for the wrong reasons. Though I also had deep feelings about helping others, the bottom line is that the opportunity of making big dollars was the main focus. I got so wrapped up in looking at that pile, that the petty tyrants had a hay day with me, ending in my failure.

Now, the opportunity has surfaced again. In discussions with China, it seems that many of the traps and snares set by these petty tyrants are now plainly visible. That puts a whole different perspective on where I walk. I don't mind making a profit, but the main focus this time around is identifying those traps before steeping out and helping others avoid them.

The other part is to work with things a person feels passionate about. Bud, these words seem to be a key here.

According to the C's, if you will find and follow your "passion", money will follow. It is said to be a universal principle that never, ever fails.

So, this needs to be my focus, I think, to work on bringing these petty tyrants actions out in the open by doing things properly for the advancement of both buyer and seller in a manner that benefits all. I did not have to be put in a negative position, but the lure of big profits blinded me, the first time around. It nearly cost me my physical life. Putting that experience with what I have been learning here, gives me some tools I can use to advance. I need to work on helping people walk through the nests of petty tyrants. If they are taken care of, so will I be... it seems!

 

[cubbex]

Does any of this make any sense? Is anyone else out there feeling anything similar? Or, as usual, am I missing something important?

mocachapeau, FWIW, at least for me and probable a few other here, by degree we feel these things too, the body centric and mental drivers that posses us through the influences of these things you say and so much more. Don't think your missing anything, thinking about it, writing and making small changes where you can, furthers you along your path.

The other day was thinking about what the C's said about STO being, and i don't have the exact quote, but essentially if in acting, is not caring about yourself; hope i've got that right. For some reason this brought to mind Pepperfritz saving her dog. Maybe in her case this was an instantaneous act, her affection for another without regard for self. We see this time and again with peoples selfless actions. On the other hand, knowledge to choose without being food is working for your own destiny. Years ago STS/STO was not probably in the lexicon of many here, yet we are here learning by steps, sometimes we go backwards and sometimes we may struggle just to move our feet forward. People here offer so many ways to see things in different lights yet for everything that i should be doing, i still struggle to do or learn.

Keep looking at your machine and know that it is the same for many - you're not alone. :)

But pepperfritz did that not because it is necessary, just because it felt well for her, doesn't it?
Being STO is like do the necessary not why we like to do or what it feels good for us. That's what I understand.

 

[pneumaticmatt]

It just sounds like you are a bit unhappy with being a slave to money, maybe I am wrong.

You're definitely not wrong about that. I'm getting pretty tired of STS in general, or so it would seem, and money is a big part of it. But the money issue is a biggie for me. I think it plays a leading role in my lessons.

While my wife and I work from paycheck to paycheck trying to make ends meet, desperately sometimes (like now), my parents are back home sitting on quite a sizable fortune. Neither of them did anything to earn it, it was all inherited from my grandfather and my great-grandfather's estates. And my great-grandfather didn't do anything to earn his money either, it was also inherited. When my mom became an adult, her dad set her up with money for life - not rich, just no worries. Still, I had the pleasure of listening to her complain throughout my youth about her mom keeping all that money to herself, doing very little with it, and never offering to help. She kept saying, "It's all fine and dandy to know we'll inherit it some day, but what good does that do us now, at the time we need it most, while raising kids." Today I see her doing the same thing her mom did.

I can ask, but I am usually made to feel guilty and irresponsible. And besides, if they really wanted to help, they would - they know my situation. By asking, I'm just making them feel obligated to do something they don't really want to do. So I stopped asking a few years back and concentrated on being self-sufficient. Now I'm in a deep hole.

I know I have to learn how to get on by myself, and it's what I'm trying to do. But we've spread ourselves too thin. I think you're right about being a bit creative - a lot creative, actually.

FWIW I have very similar issues concerning hating being a slave to money.
But I've put a mental foot down and decided to quite worrying all day, everyday about "making money".
I want to "make a difference".
And I have been thinking a lot about making a difference on a global scale.
That opportunity DOES exist right here on this forum and especially in networking with the FOTCM.
I'm not an official member yet, as I just applied for membership.
But if I'm discerning things properly, "making a difference" is what we must attempt to achieve - for that is truly STO.

 

[mocachapeau]

I dont know if you are aware of a website called the simple dollar, mochapeau?
Lots of advice on saving, and investing.
Perhaps you could learn how to invest, if you already dont know how. Even if you dont end up investing, the added knowledge about money will benefit you on the long run.

Hi Iron,

I had a brief look at the web site and bookmarked it. Indeed, it seems full of useful information that I could learn to apply. Of course, investing doesn't really seem like an option at the moment, but maybe I could manage to put something aside using some of the other ideas first.

It could be very helpful. Thanks.

 

[mocachapeau]

I would just like to add something for shellysheval. Somehow I confused you with Carlybee. So in my post where I referred to the situation with your husband, you may have been wondering what the heck I was talking about.

Sorry about that.

But the rest of my post still applies, I think?

 

[shellycheval]

No Problem MC--Actually I have bared my soul here in the forum on more than one occasion about all three psycho-to-some-degree exhusbands so while I was a little surprised, your comments were in line with my reality. I thought you had been reading some older posts and were responding to them. Your kind comments most likely apply to more women on this forum than not ;) Good luck to you and take care.
shellycheval