Masculinity in crisis

[Alejo]

As I make my way through reading about the Tao, I came across this quote in the book I am reading (The Tao of Love and Sex by Jolang Chang). And I thought it was rather interesting in a few levels. Sun S'su-Mo is a physician from AD 581, so it's difficult to find his stuff, however the author quotes him as saying, in response to someone asking him about a man in his 60s who's attempting to forego female companionship.

Sun S'su-Mo: 'No! A man cannot live long without a woman. A woman cannot live happily without a man. Without a woman he will long for a female all the time. This longing will tire his spirit. When his spirit is tired he cannot live long. Of course if he truly does not need or long for any woman that would be very good and he may also live a long life. But such a person is extremely rare. When one tries to suppress one's natural need to emit in a certain interval, it will be very hard to keep the ching, but very easy to lose it. He will lose it during his sleep or pollute his urine. Or he will suffer from the disease of mating with ghosts. When he loses his ching in such a manner it will be a hundred times more harmful.'

Ching is the name for ejaculation. Now, the reason I find it interesting is because the topic of single men comes up when considering the entire idea, optimally yes you would perform these explorations with a partner that you love, but what if you don't have one?

And here's where I think it connects with something the C's have spoken about on several occasions, not just about the individuality of self awareness and recognizing your own cycles and so on, but also about mental hygiene.

The notion of mating with ghosts as a disease, could be interpreted in a few ways, from actual visitations of succibi at night, which is a terrible enough prospect, but if you think about it, things like porn addiction (or overindulgence) could be akin to "mating" with a ghost. Giving up your energy attention and intent to a lie that you participate in by passively letting it go unquestioned. "Falling in love" with something that doesn't exist.

So, the thing with single men doesn't seem to be on unconscious repression based on fear, but on healthy, and maybe that is the keyword, healthy expression. So, I suppose failing having a partner to explore and learn these things with, one could perhaps attempt its next best thing, use the same curious and learning approach with the same intent, love, as defined by the C's as knowing.

Know thyself takes on another dimension when looked at through this lens.

I suppose living alone, or being alone or single is a terrifying prospect for many, and that anxiety can lead one to seek to soothe oneself by overindulging in self gratification, when it doesn't lead to the wrong relationships or ones based on the wrong principles, but I think that's where the healthy aspect of it should be meditated upon. It isn't healthy to seek release simply to soothe one's anxieties about quiet moments, however long they may last, it should be, optimally, with the intent on healthy living.

And that requires a clean mental space, clean emotional space and self-awareness of what is healthy, in general and for the self in particular, as we're all individuals.

 

[NiLda Tri Teresa]

Patriarchal imbalance exists solely in femi-perturbed minds, battered by usual suspects into formless pulp which only role from now on is to hopelessly try to mold a man into a semi-woman, usual suspects reasons are deeply nefarious but femi-imperative is petty, fueled by crude and unconscious will to harness his power or even wield the same, but here is the biggest paradox of them all, at the moment you gain control over a man you loose interest in him as he instantly became no man anymore, he lost his magic his manliness he became lesser version of you, he became conquered and to be thrown away as used tampon.
There is no imbalance in a man-woman dynamics as there is no in yin and yang interplay, there is only lack of understanding or unwillingness to assume own roles.

We are all within the same alchemical cauldron.
The healthy feminine can hold no imperative, nor can it be petty.
Everything has been a mutual construction.
The interaction between yin and yang is eternal — sometimes we’re just playing with the screws.
Understanding, and the will to understand our movements.

 

[EmeraldR]

As I make my way through reading about the Tao, I came across this quote in the book I am reading (The Tao of Love and Sex by Jolang Chang). And I thought it was rather interesting in a few levels. Sun S'su-Mo is a physician from AD 581, so it's difficult to find his stuff, however the author quotes him as saying, in response to someone asking him about a man in his 60s who's attempting to forego female companionship.


Ching is the name for ejaculation. Now, the reason I find it interesting is because the topic of single men comes up when considering the entire idea, optimally yes you would perform these explorations with a partner that you love, but what if you don't have one?

as far as I know Ching is not the name for ejaculation !

"ching" and "jing" refer to the same Chinese word 精 in Traditional Chinese Medicine.

"Jing" is the modern romanization.
"Ching" comes from the older system of translation more common in the 19th century

Jing/ Ching means essence

Jing (Essence) - Vital Substances in Chinese Medicine

The refined and precious substance that is the material basis for all life. It influences our constitution, reproduction, growth and development, and our longevity. It is the foundation for the production of Qi and aids in the production of marrow. There is both Prenatal and Postnatal Jing.

www.sacredlotus.com

 

[Alejo]

Jing/ Ching means essence

Ah, thanks for that info. Although I do think the author uses it to refer to it. They make the point that it's something to me treated as precious.

 

[iamthatis]

There is a cool movement called 'The Men's Shed'. It's a way for men to break through social isolation by working on practical projects, often in service to the larger community. It's a different kind of men's group than others I've heard of - no rituals or storytelling, no talking circles, etc. It seems less inclined to focus on the intellectual centre, and seems explicitly non-therapeutic, with no psychological framework to speak of. It's more of a working circle with collective activity being the medicine itself.

Men's sheds or community sheds are non-profit local organisations that provide a space for craftwork and social interaction. The movement originated in Australia around the 1980s as a way to improve the health and wellbeing of older men. However, some have expanded their remit to anyone regardless of age or gender, and have similar aims and functions to hackerspaces. There are over 900 located across Australia, with thousands of active members.[1] Men's sheds can also be found in the United Kingdom, Ireland, United States, Canada, Finland, Estonia, New Zealand and Greece.


The slogan for men's sheds is "Shoulder To Shoulder", shortened from "Men don't talk face to face, they talk shoulder to shoulder", adopted after the 2008 Australian Men's Shed Association (AMSA) conference.[2][3] The users of men's sheds are known as "shedders".[4] In 2014, Professor Barry Golding coined the term "shedagogy" to describe "a distinctive, new way of acknowledging, describing and addressing the way some men prefer to learn informally in shed-like spaces mainly with other men."[5] Sheds as a venue for mentoring other men and intergenerational mentoring is a growing outcome.[6][7][8] Academics are using men's sheds as a research venue and research partner in exploring men's health and social needs.[9][10][11][12]


The men's shed movement originated in Australia. One of the precursors of the movement began in the 1980s in Broken Hill, New South Wales, involving former miners. Another was the Albury Manual Activities Centre, also known as "Albury Men's Shed" which opened in 1978.[13] Work in Adelaide, South Australia focused upon the gender biased and inappropriate care of older men living with dementia in care settings and work with Vietnam Veterans in South Australia also played its part.[14]


Professor Barry Golding has researched the origins of the men's shed, and states, "Maxine Chaseling was the key person behind 'The Shed' back in the early nineties and spoke of the stories behind the development of the Shed."[15] The first shed for men was founded by Chaseling (formerly Maxine Kitto) in 1993. It was located in Goolwa, South Australia as part of The Heritage Club, an activities/day centre for the older generations/elderly, where she was employed as the coordinator. The shed was opened on 3 March 1993[16] by the Hon Dean Brown AO, Member for Alexandra, later to become Premier of South Australia.


Chaseling had worked in aged services for many years, and had spoken at many conferences in the late 1980s and 1990s about gerontology, men's health and the lack of services for men. She originally came up with the idea of a men's shed after her own father had become depressed and felt stuck at home after having a heart attack and not being able to work anymore. She noticed that the only thing that seemed to give her father purpose was to work in his shed. Having also noticed that the men at the Heritage Club seemed lost and not interested in the activities that the ladies were involved in, Chaseling thought she would create a men's shed at the Heritage Club to give the men a focus point for purpose, for mentoring younger generations, socialising, and ultimately to create better mental health outcomes. It worked, and the men's mental health levels improved, along with their levels of happiness.[17] At this point, the program was known as The Shed.[15][16][17]


The Australian Men's Shed Association quotes Chaseling, as she talks about her role in starting the first shed: "I struck the match but fortunately it was the right time and the primary health strategy was simple and doable in any community".[18]


After Chaseling had created the first men's shed, she spoke at conferences in the 1990s about how the men's shed was filling a gap in men's services. It is from this point that the men's shed movement started to grow, with the next shed located in nearby Langhorne Creek, South Australia.[17]


The first national health conference dedicated to men in Australia took place in 1995.[19]


The first men's shed (by that name) was opened in Tongala, Victoria, Australia on 26 July 1998.[20] Named after its founder, Dick McGowan, the shed predates the Lane Cove Community Shed in New South Wales by just a few months, though both likely originated from ideas discussed at the National Rural Health Conference in 1995. Lane Cove Community Shed was opened in December 1998. As well as being a place for craftwork and socialisation, it also provided vital health information to its members.


These communal sheds were inspired by backyard sheds, where a man would go and carry out tasks such as restoring furniture or fixing lawnmowers. Men's sheds can also be seen as an extension of the original nineteenth century idea of working men's clubs in the UK and Australia: "to provide recreation and education for working-class men and their families". In time working men's clubs increasingly focused on charitable work and recreational activities typically associated with pubs. Whilst acting as hubs for information exchange, the community educational aspects foundered, as men's sheds remained in people's homes typically at the bottom of the garden.


Men's Sheds Australia was established in 2002 by Peter Sergeant and Ron Fox. It became clear an overarching infrastructure was needed to support men in establishing and managing their men's sheds in regional, rural and remote areas. It involved documenting practical information and knowledge, tools, checklists, processes and training materials while utilising modern technology. Much work was undertaken in establishing men's sheds in some of the remotest parts of Australia and in Indigenous communities. The Australian Men's Shed Association was established in 2007 by the Australian independent community-based men's sheds to represent, support and promote the men's shed movement and to act as a central hub for information exchange. The Australian Men's Shed Association is funded by the federal government to provide initial and ongoing practical support for the development of all men's sheds.[21]


The Irish Men's Sheds Association was established in 2011 and was the first shed association to be founded in the Northern Hemisphere.[22] The member Sheds of the Irish Association are from both Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. One notable difference between the men's sheds in Australia and Ireland is the age demographic of the participating men; in Ireland men of all ages participate while in Australia it is mostly retired men. In February 2013 Westhill & Districts Men's Shed opened its doors as a constituted charity, to be the first men's shed following the Australian model in Scotland.[23][24] The UK Men's Shed Association was established in 2013.[25] The Scottish Men's Sheds Association was established in 2015.[26]


By 2015, men's sheds were also active in a number of other countries, mainly based throughout Europe and South Asia. This included over one hundred men's sheds in New Zealand and over two hundred in Ireland.[27] By 2023, there were over 900 men's sheds across the UK. The United States has set up a national association, the US Men's Sheds Association, and had three sheds in Hawaii, Minnesota and Michigan by May 2017.[28][29] In 2022, the Men's Sheds Canada association was formally created.[30]