My Spam Collection

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atreides

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One of the greatest things about joining the Signs team is the amount of spam you receive.

You see, I have been online for a long time, and have had the same hotmail email address since 1999. I receive next to zero spam, and I use it constantly to sign up for spam, and then I never get it. My mailbox is a lonely mailbox.

So the guys came to me and said "Hey, you wanna work long hours for no pay?"
and I replied "Will I get spam?"

Then they said, "Yeah, you'll get spammed." So that sealed the deal!

Now I get no less than 70 spam messages in my mailbox per day, and sometimes upwards of 200. Lemme tell ya, I couldn't be happier than a pig in shit.

Now These are some of my favorite spam messages, as I get new and interesting ones, I will post them here for review, feel free to comment on them.
 
Dear Sir/Madam:

CONGRATULATIONS

This is to inform you that your e-mail address was selected for the final draws of the tenth year anniversary celebration of the world Internet Services Network. Out of over four billion people surfing the Internet daily, three million people has be selected all over the world for the final draw and you are fortunate to be one of them.

However, for you to be enrolled for the final payment, kindly forward to us the following information to uk2lottery@netscape.net

1.Name
2.Address
3.Passport number or driver's license or your National Identity Number
4.Telephone / Fax number.

The draws and winning number are,
Ref: 74NL/505/-00885DE
Batch: DE 808NL
Zonal Draw No: DE-A2-004-885
Grand Draw No: 13158

This is organized by UK National Lottery London in conjunction with YAHOO, MSN, AOL and a host of others.

Once again, we congratulate you for being selected and wish you good luck in the next processing of transferring your winning prize to any nominated bank of your choice.
Thanks

Yours faithfully
Edward Woodgate
General Manager
UK National Lottery
Tel: 44-702465459
Fax::44 87125 167
 
Mmm identity left, tastes like chicken.

Unrelated: ya'll in the same area of france? I was pondering a month-long summer hop over to the other side of the pond and would love to stop in and say hi in person.
 
I like the messages from "Paypal" saying that I urgently need to log in and verify some information...

Or the ones from credit card companies (who I don't have an account with) saying that my statement is available online or that I need to verify some information online. :)
 
I am a big fan of the ebay ones, I don't have an eBay account...or do I?
 
This one's a doosy!

Finally the real thing - no more tip-offs! Enhancment Patches are hot right now, VERY hot! Unfortunately, most are cheap imitiations and do very little to increase your size and stamina. Well this is the real thing, not an imitation! One of the very originals, the absolutely strongest Patch available, anywhere!

A top team of British scientists and medical doctors have worked to develop the state-of-the-art Pen1s Enlargment Patch delivery system which automatically increases pen1s size up to 3-4 full inches. The patches are the easiest and most effective way to increase your size. You won't have to take pills, get under the knife to perform expensive and very painful surgery, use any pumps or other devices. No one will ever find out that you are using our product. Just apply one patch on your body and wear it for 3 days and you will start noticing dramatic results.

Millions of men are taking advantage of this revolutionary new product - Don't be left behind!

As an added incentive, they are offering huge discount specials right now, check out the site to see for yourself!
 
Just FYI,

There is no drug, no herbal mix, and no pill that can enlarge a body part, at least not a specific one :)

Lucky women have silicon, or saline, guys are stuck with dangling a 20lb rock like those natives.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This spam is suprisingly well constructed...
 
atreides said:
...guys are stuck with dangling a 20lb rock like those natives.
Click to expand...
That does not sound fun at all. Not knowing much about this, it sounds a bit unwise. :) In fact it sounds like it could be dangerous if not done with extreme care and expert supervision...:)
 
atreides said:
Just FYI,

There is no drug, no herbal mix, and no pill that can enlarge a body part, at least not a specific one :)

Lucky women have silicon, or saline, guys are stuck with dangling a 20lb rock like those natives.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This spam is suprisingly well constructed...
Click to expand...
My Schwartz is longer than yours?
 
atreides said:
Lucky women have silicon, or saline, guys are stuck with dangling a 20lb rock like those natives.
Click to expand...
Now that you mention it...

http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/ezine/article.php?article=640
 
Ahh, I see your schwartz is as big as mine Lonestar, but let's see how you wield it!

Here's another one, wworth a comment or too...

Everybody knows the great sexual scandal known as "Klinton-Levinsky".
After the relations like this Klintons popularity raised a lot!
It is a natural phenomenon, because Bill as a real man in order not to
shame himself when he was with Monica regularly used Voagra.
What happened you see. His political figure became more bright and more attractive.
It is very important for a man to be respected as a man!

See our Voagra shop to enter upon the new phase of your life.
http://nobagie.com/
 
atreides said:
Everybody knows the great sexual scandal known as "Klinton-Levinsky".
After the relations like this Klintons popularity raised a lot!
It is a natural phenomenon, because Bill as a real man in order not to
shame himself when he was with Monica regularly used Voagra.
What happened you see. His political figure became more bright and more attractive.
It is very important for a man to be respected as a man!

See our Voagra shop to enter upon the new phase of your life.
http://nobagie.com/
Click to expand...
Did you really get this as spam?? It seems too bizarre even for the spamifiers :)
 
Here's one that arrived in my inbox the other day:

Good evening
coolidge coupon clinchdextrose academe condemn condensate A place for everything and everything in its place.
A friend to all is a friend to none. He that plants a tree plants for posterity
Thank you, your
Rena Dale
Click to expand...
Seriously, what the hell is this crap? It's not even advertising a product! It's like someone has a vested interest in wasting people's time and making it a pain in the keister to communicate via email. 10 points if you can guess who might have just such an agenda?

It didn't surprise me one bit to read that the US still takes the spam crown of the world.
 
Heres another great one.

What are you to do if you have bad erection? Especially
in the forthcoming Saint Valentines Day???
Don t worry, it is not the last of pea-time...
The most simple way is to visit our site, order the
medication and that is all you are to do!

Do not kill the clock!

http://villatoda.com/
 
LOL - for some reason the phrasing in that one strikes me as really funny. Do not kill the clock!
 
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