Networking in your town/city

[Kreu]

Hello everyone!
Because of the importance of networking I was wondering if forum members who live close to each other ever meet up IRL just to talk, discuss and share ideas over a cup of coffee (for example)?
I tend to experience an emptiness when it comes to communicating with people I see on a daily basis ( i. e. friends, colleagues) because I can't really share with them thoughts and ideas because they don't know what I'm really talking about (I try to remember external consideration).
I often find myself mid-conversation being frustrated because I can't say for example "that's interesting, remember what the C's said about that" or "remember what that one thread on the forum talked about, that applies here!" because the people I'm talking to aren't part of this.
Perhaps I should feel that it is enough to network and learn here and try to just enjoy being with my friends, but it feels so pointless to spend time and energy on listening to shallow unimportant discussions (the lives of celebrities, TV shows, negative talk behind people's backs for instance) and trying to keep up the appearance of interest. I guess I see these people in the first place because if I didn't I'd never get out of the house!
I'm a very "hands on" type of person and whenever I see someone here on the forum who mentions that they are from Sweden or writes something in Swedish I feel a twinge of excitement and think "I wish I could meet that person!"
I do realize that perhaps one might feel trepidation meeting someone you've only spoken to online because there are a lot of nuts out there.
I guess I'm just looking for the freedom to share and receive ideas and thoughts with people IRL without having to censor myself when it comes to the things we discuss here, in the most positive and STO way possible (meaning I don't want to sit and yak on about me or my life but really share and receive and expand).
I don't mean to sound like what I think or want to discuss is any more important than what the people in my everyday life have on their minds, I just want to "walk in to the right bar" and be able to physically sit down with the people there and enjoy a chat! ;)

 

[Kreu]

I often find myself mid-conversation being frustrated because I can't say for example "that's interesting, remember what the C's said about that" or "remember what that one thread on the forum talked about, that applies here!" because the people I'm talking to aren't part of this.

I realize that EVERYONE in this forum probably feels that way at one point or another!

 

[Nienna]

Hello everyone!
Because of the importance of networking I was wondering if forum members who live close to each other ever meet up IRL just to talk, discuss and share ideas over a cup of coffee (for example)?
I tend to experience an emptiness when it comes to communicating with people I see on a daily basis ( i. e. friends, colleagues) because I can't really share with them thoughts and ideas because they don't know what I'm really talking about (I try to remember external consideration).
I often find myself mid-conversation being frustrated because I can't say for example "that's interesting, remember what the C's said about that" or "remember what that one thread on the forum talked about, that applies here!" because the people I'm talking to aren't part of this.
Perhaps I should feel that it is enough to network and learn here and try to just enjoy being with my friends, but it feels so pointless to spend time and energy on listening to shallow unimportant discussions (the lives of celebrities, TV shows, negative talk behind people's backs for instance) and trying to keep up the appearance of interest. I guess I see these people in the first place because if I didn't I'd never get out of the house!
I'm a very "hands on" type of person and whenever I see someone here on the forum who mentions that they are from Sweden or writes something in Swedish I feel a twinge of excitement and think "I wish I could meet that person!"
I do realize that perhaps one might feel trepidation meeting someone you've only spoken to online because there are a lot of nuts out there.
I guess I'm just looking for the freedom to share and receive ideas and thoughts with people IRL without having to censor myself when it comes to the things we discuss here, in the most positive and STO way possible (meaning I don't want to sit and yak on about me or my life but really share and receive and expand).
I don't mean to sound like what I think or want to discuss is any more important than what the people in my everyday life have on their minds, I just want to "walk in to the right bar" and be able to physically sit down with the people there and enjoy a chat! ;)

Meeting up face to face is strongly discouraged by this forum. Please read this thread.

People can be totally different in real life vs the way they appear on the internet. So for the protection of all concerned, we would rather this type of meet-up not be done unless a moderator is there. We speak from experience.

 

[Kreu]

Ok got it!
Sorry, I'll just consentrate on the work and reading instead, thanks for your reply!
Gonna read that thread now. :)

 

[pirron]

Nienna Eluch from the link you have provided I have quoted 3rd reply made by Laura:

I just want to make note of the fact that today, I had a long conversation with a forum member who had some exchanges with another forum member who, based on all normal clues and even a pleasant meeting, was a fine, friendly person.

It did not turn out that way.

It turned out that there was some serious predatory behavior that took place and it could have been disastrous.

You canNOT always tell by posts - by "public presentation" - whether an individual is pathological or even just normal with a whole lot of programs that will cause pain and suffering.

We do NOT advocate meetings between forum members in anything other than a group context where there are plenty of eyes to observe and evaluate and to ensure safety.

Could someone comment further on the last paragraph of the quoted post? What kind of group exactly and how big?

I know the dangers are obvious but we deal with them in every day life anyway. I feel strongly the same way as Kreu.

Predation is all around us and we need to deal with it as long as social life is maintained. I'd rather take a risk and have a chance to meet and share with someone like minded then being stacked in online reality.
It's just my opinion and I'd be glad to discuss topic in a bit more details with anyone willing to.

 

[Sirius]

Predation is all around us and we need to deal with it as long as social life is maintained. I'd rather take a risk and have a chance to meet and share with someone like minded then being stacked in online reality.
It's just my opinion and I'd be glad to discuss topic in a bit more details with anyone willing to.

I think going to work, to school, to university, to any other gathering almost every day(!) for decades(!) is a billion times more dangerous than a theoretical meeting with like-minded people once in one's life, not necessarily with forum members of this community but just in general. Not even so speak of real physical dangers present in every-day activities. It may sound odd but did you know that life is deadly? If there were real measures of protection, it would not primarily grant individual protection. Any person can only be advised to behave vigilantly.

But there are no “Cassiopaea Days” or something in this direction if you asked for this.

I'd rather take a risk and have a chance to meet and share with someone like minded then being stacked in online reality.

Then?? ;) An online reality is not reality, there may be infinite “realities” but only one is real, and this one we have to live. Internet is only is for accessing and exchanging information.

 

[Kreu]

After having read the thread Nienna Eluch provided I completely understand why meet-ups without mods are discouraged which is a shame! I guess I'm quite naive when it comes to things like that, always expecting people to be of a positive and friendly frame of mind and getting surprised when they aren't. I've never met anyone I've only chatted with online, maybe that's why the thought didn't cross my mind. I'm very sorry to hear that others experiences in this area (regarding meeting people from this forum) have been unpleasant.

But there are no “Cassiopaea Days” or something in this direction if you asked for this.

If there ever is, sign me up!

 

[Kreu]

Correction, I quoted Pirron twice there by accident, the comment "If there ever is, sign me up!" is mine. Still getting the hang of this, sorry!

 

[pirron]

After having read the thread Nienna Eluch provided I completely understand why meet-ups without mods are discouraged which is a shame! I guess I'm quite naive when it comes to things like that, always expecting people to be of a positive and friendly frame of mind and getting surprised when they aren't. I've never met anyone I've only chatted with online, maybe that's why the thought didn't cross my mind. I'm very sorry to hear that others experiences in this area (regarding meeting people from this forum) have been unpleasant.

I was sadly not blessed with complete understanding.
My aim is to freely discuss the ideas that people in my social group have a hard time to even consider and do it at a different pace then forum dynamics allow. It's quite different experience to have casual conversation in person then posting and often waiting days for a reply.

I do mean people from this forum as it's closest community of which I found that I can relate to. Keep in mind - I mean only willing participants, in other words people who also fancy this concept. If it is "strongly discouraged" then making any active effort in this direction would make one a deviant. That's why I would like to expand a little bit on the topic, unless the link given by Nienna makes it a case closed... Let's wait and see how this unfolds.

Perhaps I should post in the link given by Nienna...

 

[Hesper]

I was sadly not blessed with complete understanding.
My aim is to freely discuss the ideas that people in my social group have a hard time to even consider and do it at a different pace then forum dynamics allow. It's quite different experience to have casual conversation in person then posting and often waiting days for a reply.

Here's my understanding: the forum is for the Work and personal interactions like the one you're talking about are usually for feeding the ego. Ultimately, it's for that reason that these situations are strongly discouraged. It's for personal emotional and physical safety.

Do you know why you want to discuss things at a faster pace? What is the purpose of that, really? These are serious questions, not rhetorical, so feel free to answer them. Also, judging from your posts, it doesn't look like you've waited days for a reply.

I do mean people from this forum as it's closest community of which I found that I can relate to. Keep in mind - I mean only willing participants, in other words people who also fancy this concept. If it is "strongly discouraged" then making any active effort in this direction would make one a deviant. That's why I would like to expand a little bit on the topic, unless the link given by Nienna makes it a case closed... Let's wait and see how this unfolds.

Here I get the impression that you're fishing. This might be a good time to reflect on why you are here on this forum, which is for research and applying knowledge, not ignoring the lessons learned by others.

 

[Eongar]

I often find myself mid-conversation being frustrated because I can't say for example "that's interesting, remember what the C's said about that" or "remember what that one thread on the forum talked about, that applies here!" because the people I'm talking to aren't part of this.

I realize that EVERYONE in this forum probably feels that way at one point or another!

Feeling that one is alone about what you share can be a normal feeling, but it is selfish. It's as if everyone wanted to hear you and think like you, and that is internal consideration. You have to respect the free will of the people.

You can also learn more about what you think of all the people, but first you must remove the veil of "I can not share with others my interest and I feel alone" and take people more seriously.

 

[Sirius]

I often find myself mid-conversation being frustrated because I can't say for example "that's interesting, remember what the C's said about that" or "remember what that one thread on the forum talked about, that applies here!" because the people I'm talking to aren't part of this.

I realize that EVERYONE in this forum probably feels that way at one point or another!

Feeling that one is alone about what you share can be a normal feeling, but it is selfish. It's as if everyone wanted to hear you and think like you, and that is internal consideration. You have to respect the free will of the people.

You can also learn more about what you think of all the people, but first you must remove the veil of "I can not share with others my interest and I feel alone" and take people more seriously.

Exactly. It is simply a different context and quite normal. You cannot always discuss with your boss or work colleagues those things known to your family members (the same way), and vice verse, and so on. Information cannot always be referred to but must be synthesised and applied properly also.

 

[Kreu]

I often find myself mid-conversation being frustrated because I can't say for example "that's interesting, remember what the C's said about that" or "remember what that one thread on the forum talked about, that applies here!" because the people I'm talking to aren't part of this.

I realize that EVERYONE in this forum probably feels that way at one point or another!

Feeling that one is alone about what you share can be a normal feeling, but it is selfish. It's as if everyone wanted to hear you and think like you, and that is internal consideration. You have to respect the free will of the people.



You can also learn more about what you think of all the people, but first you must remove the veil of "I can not share with others my interest and I feel alone" and take people more seriously.

Exactly. It is simply a different context and quite normal. You cannot always discuss with your boss or work colleagues those things known to your family members (the same way), and vice verse, and so on. Information cannot always be referred to but must be synthesised and applied properly also.

Oh dear, I didn't mean it like that at all I'm sorry I've come off that way but I'll definitely keep this in mind when I'm out with friends the next time, I don't want to be selfish and it seems I need to work on this :(
I know that no one just wants to hear me talk and the world would be a very boring place if we all thought alike, I agree!
I just felt a longing to talk to people that DO share this particular interest and for that reason wondered if there ever were meet-ups IRL but since that is a no-go I respect that, absolutely, and I understand why.

I guess the reason I have a veil of "I can not share with others my interest and I feel alone" is because if someone hasn't read the wave and everything I understand that I might sound a bit crazy when talking about certain things (which is why I never do) and I suppose I have a fear of rejection or being mocked behind my back, this too is something I should work on. I'll meditate on this.

Again, I'm sorry for sounding like I think I'm all-important or something, we are all equally important and interesting weather we spend time on this forum or not :)

 

[Nienna]

There is a lot more to this forum than the Cs and the Wave, although reading the Wave is the first in a long line of books that are recommended reading on this forum.

This forum has a lot to do with the 4th Way that was taught by Gurdjieff and others, and the Cs expanded on with Laura. This is about learning about our mechanicalness and how to "clean our machines" in order to get the programming that has happened to us since birth under control and to be able to see things in a more objective way, rather than just going with our subjective view of things.

It is also called "The Work" since it takes a lot of work to do these things. For this reason, a lot of people would rather continue their lives as automatons, reacting to things instead of thinking things through in an objective manner and then acting in an appropriate manner.

To start out, you may want to read about External and Internal Considering and Strategic Enclosure. :)

 

[Hesper]

I guess the reason I have a veil of "I can not share with others my interest and I feel alone" is because if someone hasn't read the wave and everything I understand that I might sound a bit crazy when talking about certain things (which is why I never do) and I suppose I have a fear of rejection or being mocked behind my back, this too is something I should work on. I'll meditate on this.

Hi Kreu. You called this problem a "veil" and I think that's very appropriate. Nienna Eluch has definitely pointed you in the right direction to help you get a good handle on this issue, and it can't be stressed enough how important it is to give yourself time to think about it. Meditating, like you said, can be beneficial, and so can journaling.

When you find time (since the info Nienna gave you is pretty important to have down) there is the psychology board that has a number of really important threads, such as Redirect, Thinking Fast and Slow, and other research that helps confirm the Work we do here, and in plain English. Happy reading to you, and take it slow and ask questions when you need to :)