Laura said:
It was only over a period of hours and then days that subtle, positive changes were noted. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.
That is very interesting. I'm looking forward to trying NeurOptimal. It really does sound like a more natural approach which the brain uses at its own timing without any forced state.
From my part, I had my 4th session today of targeted NF and I thought I would report.
So far, I've trained two specific sites, CZ (Central midline) and PZ (posterior midline) at SMR (Sensory Motor Rhythm) in CZ and at lower frequencies in PZ.
SMR at CZ makes me feel very aware and calm and I have done that consistently on each session only with a visual screen.
I have trained PZ with the visual screen only once, on my second session. That was the most profound effect I felt. I felt very sharp, aware, awake and above all, calm. As far as physical effects, I noticed seeing light before going to sleep and while awake for the first few days after that.
According to the data and my survival strategy, here is where I'm most stuck: processing sensory information correctly at the brain stem/preverbal stage. PZ is used as a broad approximation. I trained PZ with my eyes closed during my third session and I didn't receive good feedback. Although I spent some time doing SMR at CZ before, I just went in hyper-vigilance with my eyes closed. It is as if I'm opening a thousand eyes in the back of my brain to screen the entire environment. I can literally hear people in the next room and in the room itself before the music playing out.
After voicing my concern of not wanting to work with my eyes closed at PZ, I spent my entire 4th session today with the visual screen doing SMR at CZ. That went extremely well. I felt not only calm, but less dissociative and more accepting. After the session, I nearly lost my balance a couple of times but quickly regained stability. The NF literature does speak of "cerebellar hiccups" after NF. I guess it is sort of like a "re-balancing".
I noticed I'm craving less food and feel also slightly more aware of my body when I'm doing physical activities. Today my mother wrote me a long letter and to my relief, there were no reactive feelings in me. I was genuinely happy to hear from her.
Nevertheless, I wouldn't recommend targeted NF as the first option due to all the caveats and potential troubleshooting.
I read Sebern Fisher's book on "Neurofeedback in the Treatment of Developmental Trauma" (minus the specific case studies of the final chapter) and even though it is highly insightful, the book did bring more concerns for me about targeted protocols and how difficult it is to determine what works for each person or not. Fisher is practically not recommending anyone with less than 10 years of clinical training to do targeted neurofeedback on patients. She doesn't advocate the initial QEEG for the most part, unless it is strictly necessary (e.g. suspicion of a subclinical seizure). She relies more on patient's history and clinical symptoms.
My current therapist said that I'm only going to do training at CZ and PZ to address hyperarousal because those are the safest in his view. Anyhow, after reading more about it, I don't know if I would consent to do any specific targeted work in the rest of my brain, unless it is a holistic approach as NeurOptimal claims to do. CZ and SMR is pretty standard in the NF research. This is what even breathing exercises do, increase SMR in the brain. And according to research quoted by Sebern Fisher, working at PZ usually quiets anxiety without risking reactivity and "frees up" potential in the rest of the brain. But Sebern Fisher also addresses the state of hyper-vigilance with your eyes closed at subcortical regions which can potentially create troubleshooting:
"Ed Hamblin elaborated on the issue of alpha abnormalities in developmental trauma: "Not only do I see a lack of typical eyes-closed alpha [amplitude increase] [the largest state change in the waking EEG], but with the [developmental trauma] population we see alpha amplitude very often drop when the eyes are closed. It happens so often we've considered it as a possible marker variable" (personal communication, December 10, 2012). Having lost the use of their primary sense to warn them of inevitable and imminent danger, these patients typically become hyperfocused to pick up other clues from the environment, mostly through sound. As a result, I don't typically introduce deep state braining until my patient trusts me and the treatment surround enough to be able to comfortably close her eyes.
After studying more about it and understanding where I'm coming from and what is going on in my brain, I do want to continue to work targeted SMR at CZ and lower frequencies at PZ until I can arrange an appointment with the NeurOptimal technique. As long as I feel that I'm freeing up stuck up energy (Bottom-Up approach) safely and in a non re-traumatizing way, I'll continue. I don't recall such a respite in my life like I'm doing right now. I'm having some recapitulating moments which are naturally accompanied by sadness. But I don't see that as a setback.
Still, I wouldn't have gone with the targeted NF approach if I had gone first with the NeurOptimal approach to do work in a holistic, more non-lineal and safe approach.
My 2 cents.