Part of the work for me is getting in the habit of seeing it as "my real self" as you say. It can feel like a slippery fish sometimes, remembering this. I think it ties in to some of my early explorations in non-duality, where I heard the message that I am essentially "naked awareness". But somewhere along the line, or for some reason, I was treating this "naked awareness" as if it were "neutral awareness", which is a view I don't now think to be the case, but I can fall back into the habit of it, so to speak.
Well, I feel I have to agree with the "neutral awareness" issue. I can't currently be sure but there really appears to be a profound "neutrality" factor about the absolute, pure awareness, pure being, although I'm still inclined to see it as "pure positivity" too.
I had referred to a possible association with the atomic model in one of the forum threads. You know, there is the nucleus in the middle and electrons around it or in its periphery. For some reason, I associate 7D with the nucleus, which consists of two types of particles: protons (positive) and neutrons (neutral). So, if this approach is more or less accurate, this might mean that pure being/awareness is characterized both by positivity and by neutrality somehow.
The "purely impersonal" nature of the absolute also makes one deduce that there's "no individual" there who experiences positivity. The experiencer and the experienced are said to be absolutely one and the same. The explanations by Maharaj on this matter appear to me somewhat contradictory among themselves, although I allow the significant possibility that it's me who fails to understand rather than contradictory explanations made by Maharaj, who explains things to different visitors on different dates from different perspectives depending on their mentalities as perceived by him.
The R&C cosmology says that positivity is gradually increased and negativity gradually decreased from 4D to 7D, where it must be absolute or 100% at least in the big bang phase, where one actually becomes "all".
Session 16 September 1995 said:
On density levels 5 through 7 there is no duality. The "God Force" emanates "down" from 7th density and permeates all densities. It recognizes no classifications related to duality, since it is perfectly blended, thus in permanent balance.
The C's say "7D
recognizes no classifications related to duality". Here the term "recognize" sounds interesting to me. I think this statement doesn't necessarily mean that 7D doesn't
contain any polar nature, like positivity. The nonduality (oneness) of 7D might be the nonduality (oneness) of "positivity" in itself. It is said, "all beings are one" (i.e., one and the same being), so it's still "being", not "non-being". The C's themselves say that being and non-being also comprise a duality.
Session 10 December 1994 said:
A: Total non-existence balances total existence.
So, it sounds almost impossible for 7D to not involve any kind of polarity because it seems to be the very polarity of "being" as opposed to "non-being". And, of course, we know that 7D in its wider sense (as all densities) also involve negativity (STS).
The association between 7D and electrons as the negative charge in the atomic model as discussed in the sessions is also interesting:
Session 3 August 1996 said:
(L) Is gravity emitted by an electron?
A: Yes.
Session 15 March 1997 said:
Q: Okay. In the natural state, where do electrons come from?
A: Aether boundary with material continuum.
Q: Where does the proton come from?
A: 7th density.
Q: So, a proton comes from seventh density, but the electron does not.
A: Not mutually exclusive.
Session 29 March 1997 said:
Q: (Laura) OK. Does an electron have a memory?
A: Electron is borrowed unit of 7th density.
I must admit that I can't satisfactorily understand the above explanations (both because English not being my native language and also because I'm not knowledgeable about the atomic principles). I mean the relation between 7D and electrons. Is 7D the direct source of electrons or not? Are they sourced indirectly (aether boundary with material continuum)?
This also reminds me the issue of the "Source of STS". Maybe the two issues are closely related? Since STS (negativity) as opposed to STO (positivity) is to be completely deserted before eventually reaching 7D, I suspect that 7D might not be the source of STS (negativity)? On the other hand, one considers the fact that nothing can fail to have its source in 7D somehow, because, eventually, all is 7D.
STS seems to be closely related to materiality/physicality and, in this context, the above C's explanation about electrons ("aether boundary with material continuum" being where electrons come from) sounds very relevant.
Then, "gravity" being emitted by electrons is altogether very interesting. Is this the same "gravity" which is "God"? God being emitted by electrons??? But then the concept of "illusion" comes to mind. Illusion is closely related to physicality/matter, which is closely related to STS/negativity. Is physicality/matter God? In one sense, nothing can fail to be God, but in another sense, we know that 7D in itself (beginning from 6D, in fact) is absolutely etheric and has absolutely "zero" physicality/materiality, if I'm not skipping some very basic and important info.