On The Cusp

[Ryan]

Ominous, if drugs are in any way involved with the current situation, then you need to seek professional help and counseling for yourself and your partner. Talking to people on an internet forum may merely be providing yourself with an "excuse" that you are dealing with the situation. As Gurdjieff said, the Work cannot begin on a lower level than that of the obyavatel (a person with a productive and stable day-to-day life).

You have sympathetic ears in this forum, but you cannot feed off that sympathy indefinitely and try to fool yourself that things will work themselves out if you bury your head in the sand.

Good luck! :)

 

[Telperion]

As Gurdjieff said, the Work cannot begin on a lower level than that of the obyavatel (a person with a productive and stable day-to-day life).

I agree to a certain extent with what Ryan pointed out here but Ominous try to keep in mind that "productive" and "stable" and "day to day" might mean different things for different people beyond the basics of not being enslaved to harmful chemical substances and having a stable source of income/roof over your head/ food to eat/reasonable measure of personal safety. As far as Gurdjieff is concerned, I think people who are in difficult, challenging or "non-normal" circumstances could still Work on observing themselves and minimizing identification etc...they will be handicapped by certain things in their life, sure, but they can still do something which is better than doing nothing and remaining under the covers.

For most people who are deeply and completely 'asleep' their state is like a dream, but for some, like those who are addicted to substances or in unsafe circumstances, being 'asleep' can be like a nightmare. I think anything that helps someone awaken is a good thing, no matter where their starting point is,

Regarding your personal situation, I sympathize with you but I think it should go without saying that when someone is trying to better themselves spiritually or in any fashion, there are certain things they will have to leave behind. If you read over Laura's bio, you will see that she is no longer with the father of her children, but she is with someone who is helping/helped her progress as a person instead of hindering her. It may be painful to lose things at the time it's happening but sometimes it could be for the best. No matter what though I urge you to be a part of you children's lives as much as possible.

 

[Ominous]

A very strange, incredible thing has occurred. About 2 days ago, I gained access to Castenada's series of books, which I'm reading in order. Ever since I began reading, a sense of calm, sober detachment (what I've been working SO hard for) descended upon me. Its been almost 2 days & no change in my mood i.e. No pockets of depression, no anger, no stress about ANYTHING. Only a joyful love for life, the ppl around me, & the Work. Now this is very unusual for me. I usually attain this position, but my partner disrupts it or rather, I let her. But not now. I've realized, as Don Juan said, that everything is equal, nothing matters, we use controlled folly and choose paths with heart. Amazingly, my emotions haven't been shut off, but rather, they are flowing freely in a positive manner. Am I fooing myself? Patience will show. But I feel spiritually healthy for the 1st time.

 

[Ominous]

I know that if she chooses to pursue the path she is on, then I must take the children and leave. I accept that. I love her either way. Perhaps that is what she needs to do. Or, maybe she will seek help again. I'm prepared for either option.