Atreides
Jedi Master
Many people think that humans are a homogeneous species, when in fact they are not.
As you grow and experience all the wonders that life has to offer, you will invariably come to realize that there are a great many, and sometimes non-complementary, types of human beings.
Heres a small list.
1.Homo Sapiens Geriactrophilius: The Geriactrophilius sub-species of humans believes that older is better. New information, ideas, and research are always substandard to what some ancient civilization or philosopher said. The older the better, however there does seem to be a 2-3 thousand year old cut off. Mainly to prevent the idea from being taken to its logical and wholly retarded conclusion, which is to suggest that we all should stop bathing, wear loin cloths, and run around hitting each other with clubs.
2. Homo Sapiens Oblivious: Oblivious is the type of human who simply doesn't know, even when they do know, they don't. They are perpetually surprised that anything happens, literally anything. They are always shocked to find out what most people consider common sense.
3. Homo Sapiens Namedropperous: These types of humans seem to have lived very much, they know everyone who is the slightest bit famous, either directly, or indirectly. Anytime you mention someones name, they have the incredible ability to instantly remember and recall in great detail how they met that person at a party, through another famous friend, or by accident on the street. The stories usually end with them having made some small, but relevant contribution to the famous person, fixing their flat tire, or giving them a pep talk.
4. Homo Sapiens Exoticus: This type of human is only interested in something if you, or any average person says they aren't. They only find validation when talking about or experiencing something that not everyone else enjoys. They can usually be found listening to atonal music while eating bizarre dishes from various cultures that fall into the “if you're really hungry, you get used to it” variety.
5. Homo Sapiens John Q. Publicus: This type appears normal in just about every way. They are rarely burdened with thoughts or ideas of any depth. They are so average in every way, that you wonder how they made it through life this far with no apparent problems, and if you were to look deeper, they actually don't have any. The only issue that they ever cause stems from their wallowing in, and even enjoying, their moral, ethical, spiritual, financial, and political mediocrity. They simply can't understand why anyone would want or need more than they have.
6. Homo Sapiens Emoticus Extremae: Emoticus is a special breed of human, everything seems to touch them, especially when not getting their way. Deep tearful emotional reactions are a performance art with them. They can be found constantly telling stories about every time they cried watching a movie, or how bad, sad, and hurt they felt. They generally focus only on hurt and sadness in themselves, rarely anger, or joy. In fact, the only time they seem to be happy is right after they've balled their eyes out to you about how Dolphins get accidentally caught in tuna nets. They never seem to be really sad for any actual problems facing humanity.
7. Homo Sapiens Prudus: These people tend to be obsessed with the appearance of non sexuality to the point of always drawing attention to how unsexual they are, even when the conversation doesn't imply that topic. Most of their time is spent chastising or gossiping about the bizarre sexuality of others, but always as a point of comparison against how they would never do a thing like that, and the truth is, they wouldn't, usually because no one would want to with them.
8. Homo Sapiens Hefnerus: This type of human is the exact opposite of Prudus outwardly, and is a subset of Homo Sapiens DoneEverythingus, specifically this type is over sexed to the extreme, and desperately wants people to know that they have tried everything, sometimes twice. In reality they haven't, they just don't want you to know that.
9. Homo Sapiens DoneEverythingus: This sub-species of human seems to have done, or been a part of everything that has been done, ever. Similar to how Homo Sapiens Namedropperus knows everyone, DoneEverythingus has seemed to contribute to every major event, their entire lives, even from birth.
10. Homo Sapiens Idolus: These humans are devout religious followers, committing themselves with body and soul to a single religion, for about a week. You often find them moving from church to church, denomination to denomination, usually after some scandal makes it apparent that they are following someone not quite as holy as they would like. While they tend to fixate on a single type of religion, or new age movement, they have been known to switch camps entirely on occasion through a dramatic conversion.
11. Homo Sapiens Kleptomanius: This supspecies of human just can't keep from stealing everything of absolutely no intrinsic value. Unlike Homo Sapiens Pink Pantherus, Kleptomanius is the type of person who will pass over your jewelry to snag your 13 inch Elvis Presley decanter, and some spoons. They are also the type to steal towels and ashtrays from hotels.
While there are many other types of humans, these are the easiest ones to describe, and many more lists could be formulated in the future.
One important thing to note, is that it is not uncommon for these various types to mingle their genetic predispositions, leading to some rather interesting mixes. For instance, Geriactrophilius can mix with Idolus to create a person obsessed with only joining old religions, like ancient Egyptian cults. Exoticus may mix with Kleptomanius to produce offspring that only steal exotic things of no real value, such as used underwear from famous jazz musicians.
Prudus may often join with Namedropperous and produce offspring only obsessed with the sexploits of famous people who they incidentally met.
So, I hope that you have learned, that not all people are alike, or equal, save for equal in insanity.
As you grow and experience all the wonders that life has to offer, you will invariably come to realize that there are a great many, and sometimes non-complementary, types of human beings.
Heres a small list.
1.Homo Sapiens Geriactrophilius: The Geriactrophilius sub-species of humans believes that older is better. New information, ideas, and research are always substandard to what some ancient civilization or philosopher said. The older the better, however there does seem to be a 2-3 thousand year old cut off. Mainly to prevent the idea from being taken to its logical and wholly retarded conclusion, which is to suggest that we all should stop bathing, wear loin cloths, and run around hitting each other with clubs.
2. Homo Sapiens Oblivious: Oblivious is the type of human who simply doesn't know, even when they do know, they don't. They are perpetually surprised that anything happens, literally anything. They are always shocked to find out what most people consider common sense.
3. Homo Sapiens Namedropperous: These types of humans seem to have lived very much, they know everyone who is the slightest bit famous, either directly, or indirectly. Anytime you mention someones name, they have the incredible ability to instantly remember and recall in great detail how they met that person at a party, through another famous friend, or by accident on the street. The stories usually end with them having made some small, but relevant contribution to the famous person, fixing their flat tire, or giving them a pep talk.
4. Homo Sapiens Exoticus: This type of human is only interested in something if you, or any average person says they aren't. They only find validation when talking about or experiencing something that not everyone else enjoys. They can usually be found listening to atonal music while eating bizarre dishes from various cultures that fall into the “if you're really hungry, you get used to it” variety.
5. Homo Sapiens John Q. Publicus: This type appears normal in just about every way. They are rarely burdened with thoughts or ideas of any depth. They are so average in every way, that you wonder how they made it through life this far with no apparent problems, and if you were to look deeper, they actually don't have any. The only issue that they ever cause stems from their wallowing in, and even enjoying, their moral, ethical, spiritual, financial, and political mediocrity. They simply can't understand why anyone would want or need more than they have.
6. Homo Sapiens Emoticus Extremae: Emoticus is a special breed of human, everything seems to touch them, especially when not getting their way. Deep tearful emotional reactions are a performance art with them. They can be found constantly telling stories about every time they cried watching a movie, or how bad, sad, and hurt they felt. They generally focus only on hurt and sadness in themselves, rarely anger, or joy. In fact, the only time they seem to be happy is right after they've balled their eyes out to you about how Dolphins get accidentally caught in tuna nets. They never seem to be really sad for any actual problems facing humanity.
7. Homo Sapiens Prudus: These people tend to be obsessed with the appearance of non sexuality to the point of always drawing attention to how unsexual they are, even when the conversation doesn't imply that topic. Most of their time is spent chastising or gossiping about the bizarre sexuality of others, but always as a point of comparison against how they would never do a thing like that, and the truth is, they wouldn't, usually because no one would want to with them.
8. Homo Sapiens Hefnerus: This type of human is the exact opposite of Prudus outwardly, and is a subset of Homo Sapiens DoneEverythingus, specifically this type is over sexed to the extreme, and desperately wants people to know that they have tried everything, sometimes twice. In reality they haven't, they just don't want you to know that.
9. Homo Sapiens DoneEverythingus: This sub-species of human seems to have done, or been a part of everything that has been done, ever. Similar to how Homo Sapiens Namedropperus knows everyone, DoneEverythingus has seemed to contribute to every major event, their entire lives, even from birth.
10. Homo Sapiens Idolus: These humans are devout religious followers, committing themselves with body and soul to a single religion, for about a week. You often find them moving from church to church, denomination to denomination, usually after some scandal makes it apparent that they are following someone not quite as holy as they would like. While they tend to fixate on a single type of religion, or new age movement, they have been known to switch camps entirely on occasion through a dramatic conversion.
11. Homo Sapiens Kleptomanius: This supspecies of human just can't keep from stealing everything of absolutely no intrinsic value. Unlike Homo Sapiens Pink Pantherus, Kleptomanius is the type of person who will pass over your jewelry to snag your 13 inch Elvis Presley decanter, and some spoons. They are also the type to steal towels and ashtrays from hotels.
While there are many other types of humans, these are the easiest ones to describe, and many more lists could be formulated in the future.
One important thing to note, is that it is not uncommon for these various types to mingle their genetic predispositions, leading to some rather interesting mixes. For instance, Geriactrophilius can mix with Idolus to create a person obsessed with only joining old religions, like ancient Egyptian cults. Exoticus may mix with Kleptomanius to produce offspring that only steal exotic things of no real value, such as used underwear from famous jazz musicians.
Prudus may often join with Namedropperous and produce offspring only obsessed with the sexploits of famous people who they incidentally met.
So, I hope that you have learned, that not all people are alike, or equal, save for equal in insanity.
