On the different types of humans, and what they do
- Thread starter Atreides
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Atreides
Jedi Master
Yes, Homo Sapiens FeltEverythingus is a particularly irritating mixture, they simply can't stop telling you about all of the emotions they've felt before, and how lucky you are that you are only dealing with a broken heart, because one time, they got dumped, fired, found out they might have cancer, and their alcoholic jewish holocaust surviving retarded puppy died of aids, all on the same day.
lol these are good, it seems that these subspecies are the "norm", and not having a strange pathology is very much the exception..
Atreides
Jedi Master
sitta said:Oh Atreides, I like your works very much. They are hilarious and drive the point home.
Keep them coming man.
PS. What subspiecieses are responsible for creating Homo Sapiens AnnoyingusTrollus
Ah, I think you mean Home Sapiens Trollae.
Before we can talk about those, we need to list a few more:
Home Sapiens Centerus: Centerus needs to be the center of attention for absolutley everything, even in some cases negative attention. Unfortunately, because they spend so much trying to be the center of attention, they are never able to actually accomplish anything that might make them merit it.
Home Sapiens Talkus: Talkus is similar to DoneEverythingus in that they always have something to say, but it's usually never particularly interesting. While the more advanced form is able to absorb large quantities of cliches and pithy quotes, more often, they just talk in a kind of free flowing nonsense, more along the lines of a word salad. This is mainly due to the fact that they have no inner monologues, what you are actually witnessing is what should be an internal dialogue externalized, they are the evolutionary equivalent of someone who wears their panties on the outside of their pants.
Homo Sapiens Sadice: Sadice is the only truly unfun of the whole lot. Their only real satisfaction in life comes from hurting others. While anyone can hurt someone else, Sadice is rather immune to any wounding, as their entire life is spent looking for a reason, any reason, to hurt someone so abuse and insults never make it far enough into their minds to cause damage, they are immediately usurped and used as fuel for injuring someone else.
Homo Sapiens Trollae is a third generational rebreeding of Homo Sapiens Centerus and Homo Sapiens Talkus which produces Homo Sapiens Gossipus which when bred with Homo Sapiens Sadice makes Homo Sapiens RumorMongerae. If RumorMongerae then rebreeds with a Talkus or Gossipus, then there is a 89.625% chance of creating Homo Sapiens Trollae. There is of course a 10.375% chance that they will create Homo Sapiens Trollis Congregrationae, also know as the Christian troll, who instead of hurling insults, tries to steer every online board, discussion, or interaction to a discussion of Jesus and how he died for our sins and the right to make redubbed Kylie Minogue videos on youtube.
Bluestar
Jedi Council Member
Very clever, thanks.
So if a person, who when you are telling a story about yourself or of something you saw or did, that this type of person then cuts you off and tells you about how they knew a person, who's third cousin had a friend, that had a boss whose wife's sister had the same thing happened to them. And then tells you what happened to her for about 10 minutes, fits in this category?
So if a person, who when you are telling a story about yourself or of something you saw or did, that this type of person then cuts you off and tells you about how they knew a person, who's third cousin had a friend, that had a boss whose wife's sister had the same thing happened to them. And then tells you what happened to her for about 10 minutes, fits in this category?
sitta
Jedi Master
Atreides said:sitta said:
Keep them coming man.
PS. What subspiecieses are responsible for creating Homo Sapiens AnnoyingusTrollus
Ah, I think you mean Home Sapiens Trollae.
...
Homo Sapiens Trollae is a third generational rebreeding of Homo Sapiens Centerus and Homo Sapiens Talkus which produces Homo Sapiens Gossipus which when bred with Homo Sapiens Sadice makes Homo Sapiens RumorMongerae. If RumorMongerae then rebreeds with a Talkus or Gossipus, then there is a 89.625% chance of creating Homo Sapiens Trollae. There is of course a 10.375% chance that they will create Homo Sapiens Trollis Congregrationae, also know as the Christian troll, who instead of hurling insults, tries to steer every online board, discussion, or interaction to a discussion of Jesus and how he died for our sins and the right to make redubbed Kylie Minogue videos on youtube.
That was GREAT! Thanks for the laughs.
Steve M.
Jedi Master
Thanks Atriedes!
I nearly cried (from laughter) last night reading your original post. On a personal note, a certain species caused some reflection as to how I see myself and I imagine seen by others. I think your very spot on with a variety of character traits that people can be categorized in. Very creative!
Edit: BTW, do you think there are any cures for any particular ailments in these classifications, or are people generally stuck, as it is a genetic sort of thing? :o
I nearly cried (from laughter) last night reading your original post. On a personal note, a certain species caused some reflection as to how I see myself and I imagine seen by others. I think your very spot on with a variety of character traits that people can be categorized in. Very creative!
Edit: BTW, do you think there are any cures for any particular ailments in these classifications, or are people generally stuck, as it is a genetic sort of thing? :o
Steve M.
Jedi Master
I follow you, and think you did a great job. I was just hoping you had a potion for..
Atreides wrote:
cause I think I fall into this category to a large degree. Not to say I'm not a mix of the others. It's a lot of buffers, and while I'm working on it, I often feel the pull of "it's not that bad." Honestly, I'm sick of it. At times it reminds me of say, a cow and an electric fence (sorry cows, maybe I should have said a more dumb animal, like man in his sleeping state). Not sure how many times I have to walk up and wonder, is the power on - Zappp!, yes, it's still on. Over and over. Coming out of the state of "Homo Sapiens Oblivious" has thus far been very frustrating, painful and a very slow process.
I'd offer some cheese with that but, I imagine your on a strict diet. Hope the wine was ok. :) Also thanks for sharing I think what you wrote is brilliant!
Atreides wrote:
cause I think I fall into this category to a large degree. Not to say I'm not a mix of the others. It's a lot of buffers, and while I'm working on it, I often feel the pull of "it's not that bad." Honestly, I'm sick of it. At times it reminds me of say, a cow and an electric fence (sorry cows, maybe I should have said a more dumb animal, like man in his sleeping state). Not sure how many times I have to walk up and wonder, is the power on - Zappp!, yes, it's still on. Over and over. Coming out of the state of "Homo Sapiens Oblivious" has thus far been very frustrating, painful and a very slow process.
I'd offer some cheese with that but, I imagine your on a strict diet. Hope the wine was ok. :) Also thanks for sharing I think what you wrote is brilliant!
Atreides
Jedi Master
Sounds to me like you are less of an Oblivious and more of a Homo Sapiens What'sThisae, this type of human has an overdeveloped sense of curiousity and low motor control, when faced with a shiny red button that says DON'T PUSH, they will ask why, and push the button at the same time. They are often the equivalent of walking catastrophes with short attention spans. They are somewhat related to Homo Sapiens BiMotorus, which are very nice and likable humans with one small problem, they seem completely unable to operate both the top and lower half of their bodies simultaneously. That is, they are total klutzs.
StrangeCaptain
Jedi Council Member
Atreides said:
Other than the obvious physical dangers, these folks sound a lot more pleasant than the other descriptions. At higher levels of esoteric development, I speculate that they can get their lower and upper halves to fall at the same time and can become gymnasts. :P
Would those folks with a seemingly instinctual ability to say something socially awkward in almost any situation be considered part of Homo Sapiens Talkus or have their own class like TooMuchInformationus? If they sharpen their skills, many become comediens.
Atreides
Jedi Master
Patience said:
You might be talking about Home Sapiens VerbalIncontinentia, these people do in fact have an internal monologue, which they use to berate themselves right after an over share. It's not that they have turrets, as what they say is very coherent, it's just something they should keep to themselves...forever.
