Oftentimes dancing, especially waltzing, is mentioned as a "special occasion" in the romance novels.
I thought that perhaps I could share a story about my experiences with dancing.
Reading the novels reminded me that when I was studying, I attended a dance class that was arranged for university students (time flies: it was 20 years ago!). Tango, foxtrot and waltz were on the menu. I remember struggling mightily with tango, foxtrot was so-so and waltzing went rather smoothly.
I have a brain related health condition, for which dancing would be very beneficial recovery wise. One would have to remember the steps, be in sync with your partner, listen to the cues from the music, mind the surroundings when moving around the dance floor, and so on, combining brainwork with movement. In a way, dancing is the "ultimate brainteaser".
I fell ill about four years ago and once the worst was over, I actually entertained the idea that maybe dancing would be worthwhile to try, along with the other ways I was rehabilitating myself. However, I realized pretty quickly that attending a dancing course would be too much and too intensive at that stage. Then I kind of forgot about it.
Now that I have recovered a bit further, and as dancing (waltz) is being repeatedly mentioned in the novels, I had the thought of maybe looking into it again, see if there are any dance courses arranged locally.
I did a quick search, and found out that indeed there was a dance studio, which arranges dance courses for total beginners. An introductory course consisted of the traditional trio of waltz, foxtrot and tango.
Over here we have had lockdowns due to covid, and the studio too has been closed for some weeks at a time. When the lockdowns have eased, the studio is open near normally: at the moment they ask the attendees to come preferably together with a partner (normally you can attend alone), and the groups are restricted to ten people.
I emailed them, mentioning my history and health condition, and asked if it would be ok to attend alone. The reply was very encouraging and they mentioned that a dancing partner could be arranged. So, I took the plunge and booked a place on a weekend course, where waltz and foxtrot were introduced, the sessions lasting an hour and a half, on saturday and sunday.
I went to the studio on a saturday, and was surprised by what they said about masks: no need to use them. It was like "a breath of fresh air" amidst the lunacy regarding the masks elsewhere (the masks would understandably be problematic while dancing as you get out of breath).
My dancing partner was an elderly lady, who had been attending the courses for a couple of years, so she knew her way around, which was good news for me as a novice! Alongside us, there was actually just one other pair partaking the class.
We started with waltzing, going through the basic steps, and practicing them with the partner. Then we moved on to the turns, again first doing them alone, then with the partner. Maybe it was due to waltz being my "strongest" dance back during the university course, but it started to go somewhat fairly, eventually. I was "relaxed as an iron bar" to start with, and half the time we danced I held my breath as I concentrated on the steps! My dancing partner occasionally commented "remember to breath", in a humorous and kind way.
We then moved on to foxtrot. The basic steps went ok-ish, but when it came to the turns, I really struggled with them. I guess I didn't pay close enough attention when the instructor demonstrated the moves to us. Then us guys did them alongside him, turning 90 degrees to the right at a time. I was watching the instructor as I turned, but turning away made it impossible to follow his lead, resulting me to "lose the plot", and stumbling with the steps.
I did several try outs, but to no avail, and by the end I was getting nervous, frustrated (feeling the others getting frustrated too) and slowing down the progress of the session. I felt embarrassed (thinking in hindsight terms, quite unnecessarily). Sometimes I overreact and take things too personally, when unexpected and abrupt issues happen to me, and I am not able to rise to the occasion. We tried the turn with my partner, but unsurprisingly it didn't work out, so I said to her that maybe we should just dance the basic steps (without the turnings) for the remainder of time.
As we finished for the day, I told my partner about my health problem and she concurred, that dancing would be a good thing to do. I asked the instructor if there were e.g. any videos on the net, where I could see the correct way to foxtrot-turn, but he replied that it is a "jungle out there" regarding the videos, and not to worry as we will recap tomorrow. He was right, I tried to look for instructions that evening, but could not find any videos resembling the way it was taught there.
Naturally, I was a bit nervous to go to the dance studio in the first place, but now I was becoming very nervous about the following day's class. What if I just could not "get it through my head", learn the moves and would humiliate myself again, and had to quit the whole thing with tail between my legs. The following morning I was still nervous, and was considering ditching the whole affair.
But then I thought about my dancing partner: it would be very rude not to go, as she was making the effort and would make the trip for nothing.
Also, I was finishing Balogh's "The Gilded Web", and at that point in the book it was uncertain if the marriage plan would work for Edmund and Alexandra. If it didn't work out, Edmund mentioned that he would probably be content to continue his life as a hermit at his country estate (paraphrasing), and I recognised a bit of myself in his views. I too tend to need my alone time. Although I meet family and friends every now and then, go to work half a week, I tend to live in a "bubble" of safe routines, and sometimes feel that my alone time moves to loneliness territory. Edmund possibly getting out of his hermit future and me continuing the dance class is not comparable of course, but that part in the book "rattled my cages" somewhat.
Here I would have this opportunity to challenge myself, do something out of my comfort zone and in a way "burst the bubble" or at least puncture a hole into it. If I didn't go to finish the dance course, it might be difficult to try again in the future.
So, I decided that I will go after all, dammit! Even if I embarrass myself further with foxtrot, the waltz went without any major stumbling, so if nothing else there is that. I prepared for the "battle" with pipe and Wim Hof breathing and meditating. Just to be on a safe side, I recharged the crystals with the prayer and put the personal crystal in my pocket.
Curiously, a part of a book about Gurdjieff came to my mind. One of the pupils of Gurdjieff was going to negotiate about buying/renting of a house in France, and he advised her to "self remember" while negotiating (unfortunately I can't remember which book it was). I decided to the same, when attending the dance class.
I went to the studio and the session started with waltz, which went ok. Then it was time for foxtrot and this time I paid focused attention when the instructor showed the turn. It took a lot of repeats, but I was slowly starting to get an inkling of the correct way to do it. When partnering up, again it took a while to get there, but the music in the background helped and at some point it "clicked" and I got it. It was like solving a particularly difficult brain puzzle, and felt like an internal knot was untied! Of course there was some stumbling and breaks in the fluency after that, but the feeling of elation was immense. We finished the session with waltz and on occasions, when there was a "flow" with the twists and turns, I could almost sense how the characters in the romance novels must have been feeling while waltzing!
When we were finished, the instructor said to us students that if we are interested, we could continue the beginner level courses. During the next weekend course we would tackle tango, a couple of weeks in the future. My dancing partner recommended that I should carry on.
Afterwards I had a powerful "natural high", and walked to the nearby riverbank just to enjoy the moment. I am glad that I could summon some courage, and managed to see this through. I was considering not participating that morning, and now am seriously thinking about continuing the endeavour. Looks like I might try taming those darned tango steps!
