Romantic Fiction, Reality Shaping and The Work

Turgon

Ambassador
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FOTCM Member
The Wagers of Sin series by Caroline Linden had a big effect on me, especially the third and last one, When the Marquess Was Mine. The story reminded me so much of a previous relationship and how much it still was affecting me to this day and all the regrets that lingered underneath that I had buried and shut out. The characters were courageous and Rob really does risk everything for his love of Georgiana. I felt an acute loss reading their story, wishing I would have done the same, wondering what kind of person I might have been if I did and thinking about all the times I could have taken a chance on love, put myself on the line, having trust in the universe that an act of courage would put me on the right path. Yet not doing it. Each of those moments felt like a small cut or wound as if I didn't live up to my potential and that in the process I squandered gifts that may never come again.
 

Redrock12

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
The Wagers of Sin series by Caroline Linden had a big effect on me, especially the third and last one, When the Marquess Was Mine. The story reminded me so much of a previous relationship and how much it still was affecting me to this day and all the regrets that lingered underneath that I had buried and shut out. The characters were courageous and Rob really does risk everything for his love of Georgiana. I felt an acute loss reading their story, wishing I would have done the same, wondering what kind of person I might have been if I did and thinking about all the times I could have taken a chance on love, put myself on the line, having trust in the universe that an act of courage would put me on the right path. Yet not doing it. Each of those moments felt like a small cut or wound as if I didn't live up to my potential and that in the process I squandered gifts that may never come again.
In retrospect, I had a plethora of missed chances for a real loving and successful relationship. Yes, there's always the chance that one is going to be hurt, but I would use that as an excuse (she's not serious, she's looking for someone with money, she's playing the field, why would she want an ex drunk and loser, etc) to distance myself. And all of these could have been true to some degree, but a lot of them were not. I was living in the past, not focusing on my real potential as someone who could care and meet the physical, emotional, spiritual and simple material needs of a partner. And again, I thought I was mandated to spend the rest of my life atoning for what I did when I was living that destructive alcoholic lifestyle. Plus, until I started on this reading project, I had no idea what a woman was looking for in a male partner, at 75y/o no less.
Nevertheless, when last September I decided to take the plunge and got involved in a pen pal relationship, resulting in a broken heart because I was acting like a teenager in love for the first time and focusing on my own needs instead of hers, as well as other factors. It was a valuable lesson and it did get me involved in this reading project. So better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all:ie living and doing in the fire of experience, learning from our suffering.In 3rd density. We are here to suffer in order to grow our Being, and move up to 4D.
But Geeze, sometimes it really hurts.:cry:
Oh well, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. I think:cool::cool2:
FWIW
Hope this makes sense.
 
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Odin

Padawan Learner
Hi all!

I just finished reading my first novel, "Sins and Scoundrels, Book One".

It has taken a very long time just to get through this book. The inner resistance has been enormous, but I was forcing myself to read every now and then, even if just a couple of pages at the time. Interestingly, as I got deeper and deeper into the book I started to enjoy it and the interaction between Crispin and Jacinda brought tears to my eyes multiple times.

I have the other books in this series and I think reading will be a lot more joyful from now on. I have started to get used to reading again, something that is a huge plus. Just got Laura's new book so it seems the summer will be full of interesting reading.

I have faith that we will be able to create a new reality together.


Take care :)
 

Voyageur

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Ambassador
FOTCM Member
The Bedwyn's are neighbors to Kit Butler's family in A Summer to Remember, and Lauren, Lily and Gwen are well featured in that story, and that is interesting to see their growth. However, have decided not to read the Bedwyn's story parts just yet (it's an odd family), although they may be good books. Have elected to head to the Huxtable Quintet series of books.
Had written the above in November, and indeed finally came back to finish the series - thought the were good books, each family member looking to self-remembering (and one literally trying to remember what was forgotten) while understanding what, in some cases, they were hiding from within self - all a common thread in many of the stories, yet the Bedwyn family and their new partners (and some of the people surrounding them) really grew on me. Balogh does it so well.

Speaking of which, had not seen the Bedwyn Saga 6.5 book listed, and may have missed it (and have not read it either - although going to). The book is titled 'Once Upon A Dream' and looks to Eleanor Thompson, sister of Christine in the last #6 book. The Grace Burrowes part looks to, again, the Duke of Sedgemere (Elias).

#6.5 does not seem available in Kindle, however the collaboration of the book reads:

Mary Balogh and Grace Burrowes team up to create a pair of Regency novellas each set at a summer house party.

Each novella picks up on the authors stores as follows (have hidden it in case it reveals the ends of the last books not read by people here):

In "Another Dream" by Mary Balogh, Miss Eleanor Thompson has found satisfaction as the director of a respected school for girls. The life of a dedicated educator offers many rewards and much meaning--but also more loneliness than Eleanor anticipated. She accepts an invitation from her sister, Christine, Duchess of Bewcastle, to attend a Bedwyn houseparty, never dreaming the summer curriculum might include stolen kisses and true love.

In "The Duke of My Dreams" by Grace Burrowes, banker's daughter Anne Faraday is cast into the company of Elias, Duke of Sedgemere, at house party in the Lakes. Anne warms to the lonely man and conscientious father behind the title, and Elias becomes enthralled with the brilliant, burdened woman beneath Anne's genteel facade. Liking turns to love under the Cumbrian summer moon, but family obligations, secrets, and a prodigal duck conspire to thwart the course of true love.
 

Turgon

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Ambassador
FOTCM Member
Hope this makes sense.
Indeed! It does make sense and thank you. One thing I’m learning from these novels is that we do have to be bold in life and take chances, or a leap of faith. And Love itself, at least on the BBM is a risk, but one worth taking. And not just romantically even though that's one of greatest expressions of it and what so many of us yearn for. And yeah, I totally agree, it's better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all, even if that love was immature and unrefined. In fact, I've learned a lot through the heartaches and mistakes made throughout the years. Painful? Definitely. But they were some of the most memorable lessons and teachers. But where the problem came in, at least for me, was yeah, don't shut it out and feel all the messy emotions and the hurt, that's it's actually good because it means you have a heart, just don't fall into self-pity where it becomes overly-indulgent. And if so many of the characters, particularly in the Balogh novels I've read, didn't overcome self-pity, they wouldn't have been able to move through and heal from their wounding. And it seems that if you can, the universe opens up for you in response.
 

Persej

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
While thinking about this reading project, I remembered the concept of "mosaic consciousness", and further on, the ideas of Collingwood:

To understand the past historically is to understand the “context of thought” (IH 1993: 299) of past agents, their frame of mind. What makes an investigation historical, therefore, is not simply the fact that it is focused on the past, but the kind of concerns by which it is guided when investigating the past. To understand past agents is to understand the way in which they reasoned, the inferences that they drew, the conceptual connections which they made, the symbolic significance they attached to certain events.

Re-enactment​

One of the most discussed aspects of Collingwood’s philosophy of history is his claim that the historical past is not retrodicted but re-enacted. The task of historians is not to establish that a past event had to happen in the past, in a way analogous to that in which a scientist predicts that a solar eclipse will happen in the future, but to re-enact the thoughts of historical agents. Collingwood claims that when historians re-enact the thought of an historical agent, they do not re-enact a thought of a similar kind but the very same thought as the agent. This claim has often been regarded as counterintuitive because to say that the thought of the agent and that of the historian are one and the same appears to presuppose that there is only one rather than two numerically distinct acts of thought: that of the historian and that of the agent. Collingwood’s point, however, is that, since what the historian re-enacts, i.e., the propositional content of thought (he refers to this simply as thought) is distinct from the acts of thinking (he refers to these as sensations/feelings), the criterion of identity that is normally applied to individuate acts of thinking does not apply to thought (IH 1993: 287). Acts of thinking are individuated and distinguished from one another by adopting spatial criteria. By contrast thoughts (i.e., propositional contents) are individuated on the basis of purely qualitative criteria, so that if there are two people entertaining the (qualitatively) same thought, there is (numerically) only one thought since there is only one propositional content. For Collingwood, if Jane and Jim recite the practical syllogism “All men are mortal, Socrates is a man, therefore Socrates is mortal” they entertain one and the same thought. By the same token, a historian who re-enacts the thought of a past agent entertains the very same thought as the historical agent:

… in its immediacy, as an actual experience of his own, Plato’s argument must undoubtedly have grown up out of a discussion of some sort, though I do not know what it was, and been closely connected to such a discussion. Yet if I not only read his argument but understand it, follow it in my own mind re-enacting it with and for myself, the process of argument which I go through is not a process resembling Plato’s, it is actually Plato’s so far as I understand him correctly. (IH 1993: 301)​


As the last clause in the quotation makes clear, Collingwood’s account of re-enactment aims to establish a conceptual point about what exactly it is that historians re-enact (the thought as opposed to the acts of thinking) and what the criteria for identifying and distinguishing thoughts are. It is not meant to prescribe to historians an empathetic method for the recovery of inner psychological processes which are not accessible from a third person perspective (Saari 1984 and 1989; Van der Dussen 1981 and 1995; D’Oro 2000). Unfortunately the doctrine of re-enactment has been widely read not as attempting to identify the subject matter of history (thought, rather than acts of thinking), but as seeking to articulate a method by which historian can recover hidden psychological processes that are not accessible from the third person perspective. In the aftermath of the publication of The Idea of History, the re-enactment doctrine was widely associated with Dilthey’s account of empathetic understanding and accused of ascribing to the historian implausible telepathic powers of access to other minds (Gardiner 1952a and 1952b).


Now, the historian would not be able to do that, or at least not publicly publish the results of such attempt, but the writer of a novel, which is a form of a fiction, could do it. And nobody could accuse him/her of doing anything wrong.

And if a readers re-enacts the thoughts of past agents in their minds, and especially those concerning their emotional life, would that have an effect on their emotional centre?

A movie called Dead Poets Society comes to mind as I think about that question:

 

jess

Jedi
A week days ago I finished the third book of the Smythe-Smith quartet; "Just Like Heaven", "A Night Like This" and "The Sum of All Kisses" by author Julia Quinn.
Overall I really enjoyed the depiction of family ties and the jovial feel of the stories of the women waiting and searching for husbands, and the relationship to music.
Mainly the third novel, "The Sum of All Kisses" , the two main characters Hugh and Sarah moved me a lot, I found many aspects in which I saw myself reflected in them. The story of Sarah, I interpreted her as a somewhat annoying character, as a woman who has the slightest tact and consideration towards other people to express herself and then there is Hugh who at a moment of destiny meets Sarah, who knows very well how to respond to Sarah's attitude in an intelligent way.

I found very valuable interconnected relationships in my personal learning process in this reading with other readings and my daily life and the people around me; that is, I wonder if this could be a point where you could say: Ah, ok, I get it, or possibilities of being an Ah,ok, I get it.
For example, I am one chapter away from finishing Laura's book, "The Wave", and in chapter 70, (in my own interpretation) she talks about how emotions produce some internal chemistry in the body, -in a similarity to drugs- which can be stimulated by some environmental signal or program and which can be easily manipulated (the Predator's mind) and which we can also be addicted to, etc. Which can lead us to disastrous relationships, misery, etc...
Well, this comes because at the beginning of the story between Hugh and Sarah, it talks about how much they both repelled or disliked each other, it was a mutual feeling, but between their unpleasant encounters appears "the spark of attraction" (sexual), then that seemed very suspicious to me, at first I related it to the chemistry of emotions and programs running in Sarah in her desperation to find a husband.
Near the end of the story , the idea I had that the predatory mind was at work in this couple, almost in the half of the story I change my mind, because in my interpretation both characters, they overcame mutual obstacles, prejudice and built a relationship based on give and take, mutual understanding and love.
The story (fiction) made me think about it, but 2 weeks ago I visited my husband's family, and one of my husband's aunts, a woman in her mid 50's, who overcame cancer, and separated from her husband a year ago and now had a boyfriend, a Harley-Davidson men's biker style guy, it was not the man's style, she said he was a school mate, I was very impressed by how dissonant she and he seemed. I can't judge, I too have made a lot of mistakes in choosing my partners and now I understand how we can be running so many programs, without realizing it, living in ignorance and with the annoyance and feeling of always going in circles in our behaviors.
I mean, I had the old idea that making mistakes had to do with the fact that we are young, and lack of experience, but now I understand the value of the true knowledge it gives us to choose the experience, the power to establish healthy limits.

I hope it is not very boring- reiterative to those who surely have the knowledge many years ago, I had always a lot of resistance To write, I have had to knock out the silly-useless negativity that tries to boycott with phrases like "what you say is silly", "why to say this?", "you are not saying anything", etc .. only useless insecurity.
I am new to being attentive and vigilant with our thoughts, and with "work", I want to thank you very much for the deep and subtle spectrum that this exercise has given me, to enjoy my own learning and discovery and at the same time understanding those around me too.

thanks :-)
 

genero81

Ambassador
Ambassador
FOTCM Member
I understand how we can be running so many programs, without realizing it, living in ignorance and with the annoyance and feeling of always going in circles in our behaviors.
I mean, I had the old idea that making mistakes had to do with the fact that we are young, and lack of experience, but now I understand the value of the true knowledge it gives us to choose the experience, the power to establish healthy limits.

I thought that was most excellently put.

I had always a lot of resistance To write, I have had to knock out the silly-useless negativity that tries to boycott with phrases like "what you say is silly", "why to say this?", "you are not saying anything", etc .. only useless insecurity.

Sincerity is key, I think. I mean as long as you are making a sincere effort, just post and it will get easier.
 

Redrock12

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
A week days ago I finished the third book of the Smythe-Smith quartet; "Just Like Heaven", "A Night Like This" and "The Sum of All Kisses" by author Julia Quinn.
Overall I really enjoyed the depiction of family ties and the jovial feel of the stories of the women waiting and searching for husbands, and the relationship to music.
Mainly the third novel, "The Sum of All Kisses" , the two main characters Hugh and Sarah moved me a lot, I found many aspects in which I saw myself reflected in them. The story of Sarah, I interpreted her as a somewhat annoying character, as a woman who has the slightest tact and consideration towards other people to express herself and then there is Hugh who at a moment of destiny meets Sarah, who knows very well how to respond to Sarah's attitude in an intelligent way.

I found very valuable interconnected relationships in my personal learning process in this reading with other readings and my daily life and the people around me; that is, I wonder if this could be a point where you could say: Ah, ok, I get it, or possibilities of being an Ah,ok, I get it.
For example, I am one chapter away from finishing Laura's book, "The Wave", and in chapter 70, (in my own interpretation) she talks about how emotions produce some internal chemistry in the body, -in a similarity to drugs- which can be stimulated by some environmental signal or program and which can be easily manipulated (the Predator's mind) and which we can also be addicted to, etc. Which can lead us to disastrous relationships, misery, etc...
Well, this comes because at the beginning of the story between Hugh and Sarah, it talks about how much they both repelled or disliked each other, it was a mutual feeling, but between their unpleasant encounters appears "the spark of attraction" (sexual), then that seemed very suspicious to me, at first I related it to the chemistry of emotions and programs running in Sarah in her desperation to find a husband.
Near the end of the story , the idea I had that the predatory mind was at work in this couple, almost in the half of the story I change my mind, because in my interpretation both characters, they overcame mutual obstacles, prejudice and built a relationship based on give and take, mutual understanding and love.
The story (fiction) made me think about it, but 2 weeks ago I visited my husband's family, and one of my husband's aunts, a woman in her mid 50's, who overcame cancer, and separated from her husband a year ago and now had a boyfriend, a Harley-Davidson men's biker style guy, it was not the man's style, she said he was a school mate, I was very impressed by how dissonant she and he seemed. I can't judge, I too have made a lot of mistakes in choosing my partners and now I understand how we can be running so many programs, without realizing it, living in ignorance and with the annoyance and feeling of always going in circles in our behaviors.
I mean, I had the old idea that making mistakes had to do with the fact that we are young, and lack of experience, but now I understand the value of the true knowledge it gives us to choose the experience, the power to establish healthy limits.

I hope it is not very boring- reiterative to those who surely have the knowledge many years ago, I had always a lot of resistance To write, I have had to knock out the silly-useless negativity that tries to boycott with phrases like "what you say is silly", "why to say this?", "you are not saying anything", etc .. only useless insecurity.
I am new to being attentive and vigilant with our thoughts, and with "work", I want to thank you very much for the deep and subtle spectrum that this exercise has given me, to enjoy my own learning and discovery and at the same time understanding those around me too.

thanks :-)
Imo, you are going in the right direction Jess. I find your posts very insightful and honest. You are definitely increasing in wisdom and knowledge, and a definite asset to this project. :hug::cool:
 

Andrian

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
A week days ago I finished the third book of the Smythe-Smith quartet; "Just Like Heaven", "A Night Like This" and "The Sum of All Kisses" by author Julia Quinn.
Overall I really enjoyed the depiction of family ties and the jovial feel of the stories of the women waiting and searching for husbands, and the relationship to music.
Mainly the third novel, "The Sum of All Kisses" , the two main characters Hugh and Sarah moved me a lot, I found many aspects in which I saw myself reflected in them. The story of Sarah, I interpreted her as a somewhat annoying character, as a woman who has the slightest tact and consideration towards other people to express herself and then there is Hugh who at a moment of destiny meets Sarah, who knows very well how to respond to Sarah's attitude in an intelligent way.

I found very valuable interconnected relationships in my personal learning process in this reading with other readings and my daily life and the people around me; that is, I wonder if this could be a point where you could say: Ah, ok, I get it, or possibilities of being an Ah,ok, I get it.
For example, I am one chapter away from finishing Laura's book, "The Wave", and in chapter 70, (in my own interpretation) she talks about how emotions produce some internal chemistry in the body, -in a similarity to drugs- which can be stimulated by some environmental signal or program and which can be easily manipulated (the Predator's mind) and which we can also be addicted to, etc. Which can lead us to disastrous relationships, misery, etc...
Well, this comes because at the beginning of the story between Hugh and Sarah, it talks about how much they both repelled or disliked each other, it was a mutual feeling, but between their unpleasant encounters appears "the spark of attraction" (sexual), then that seemed very suspicious to me, at first I related it to the chemistry of emotions and programs running in Sarah in her desperation to find a husband.
Near the end of the story , the idea I had that the predatory mind was at work in this couple, almost in the half of the story I change my mind, because in my interpretation both characters, they overcame mutual obstacles, prejudice and built a relationship based on give and take, mutual understanding and love.
The story (fiction) made me think about it, but 2 weeks ago I visited my husband's family, and one of my husband's aunts, a woman in her mid 50's, who overcame cancer, and separated from her husband a year ago and now had a boyfriend, a Harley-Davidson men's biker style guy, it was not the man's style, she said he was a school mate, I was very impressed by how dissonant she and he seemed. I can't judge, I too have made a lot of mistakes in choosing my partners and now I understand how we can be running so many programs, without realizing it, living in ignorance and with the annoyance and feeling of always going in circles in our behaviors.
I mean, I had the old idea that making mistakes had to do with the fact that we are young, and lack of experience, but now I understand the value of the true knowledge it gives us to choose the experience, the power to establish healthy limits.

I hope it is not very boring- reiterative to those who surely have the knowledge many years ago, I had always a lot of resistance To write, I have had to knock out the silly-useless negativity that tries to boycott with phrases like "what you say is silly", "why to say this?", "you are not saying anything", etc .. only useless insecurity.
I am new to being attentive and vigilant with our thoughts, and with "work", I want to thank you very much for the deep and subtle spectrum that this exercise has given me, to enjoy my own learning and discovery and at the same time understanding those around me too.

thanks :-)

Nicely put Jess, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

As regarding the part about consciously choosing the soul and be chosen of course, with whom to engage in a serious and lifelong relationship both of you being on the same wavelength, from my limited perspective I'd think that one has to arrive there, that is on that particular point of his spiritual growth cycle where he will choose to engage in a relationship with another soul with whom he finds himself on the same wavelength for the sake of companionship and mutual growth.

If the said soul won't be able to find or meet a true companion he may choose to go through life alone rather than to be engaged in a serious relationship with another soul with whom he's not on the same page in order to avoid unnecessary drama and suffering for both of them.

These are my current thoughts based on my own experiences and they me be flawed and mere assumptions of course, still I think it's better to share and learn than to let the fear to stop you from a possible opportunity to learn something from sharing your thoughts and experiences thus going forward and onward.
 

jess

Jedi
Imo, you are going in the right direction Jess. I find your posts very insightful and honest. You are definitely increasing in wisdom and knowledge, and a definite asset to this project. :hug::cool:
Redrock12, Thanks for your warm and kind comments, a big hug too 😊

Nicely put Jess, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

As regarding the part about consciously choosing the soul and be chosen of course, with whom to engage in a serious and lifelong relationship both of you being on the same wavelength, from my limited perspective I'd think that one has to arrive there, that is on that particular point of his spiritual growth cycle where he will choose to engage in a relationship with another soul with whom he finds himself on the same wavelength for the sake of companionship and mutual growth.

If the said soul won't be able to find or meet a true companion he may choose to go through life alone rather than to be engaged in a serious relationship with another soul with whom he's not on the same page in order to avoid unnecessary drama and suffering for both of them.

These are my current thoughts based on my own experiences and they me be flawed and mere assumptions of course, still I think it's better to share and learn than to let the fear to stop you from a possible opportunity to learn something from sharing your thoughts and experiences thus going forward and onward.

Thanks 🙂 Andrian, maybe, I don't know, if there is a possibility with that longing as you say of finding a soul mate, it could be a preparation for one day solidifying, just thinking about it, I think it already changes us and creates a perspective of it.
 

cassandra

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
I wanted to share something that is perhaps off topic, but still has to do with the romance novels. Or at least the effect they apparently have on me. :-)

Recently I started going to the local yoga studio. They have classes of "yoga for women". I was curious and decided to try it out. It is a combination of various yoga exercises with an emphasis on women's health.

In the end of each practice there is meditation with practitioner's guidance, where she says relaxing and balancing affirmations. And usually during the meditation we hear a light music with Indian or New Age motifs.

And so during one of the meditations, and while hearing the usual music, suddenly the next track was of a classic variety. Afterwards the practitioner told us that this is one of her favorite composers, and she likes to use his music during body work sessions when a patient has to work on something internal. His name is Kevin Kern, and wikipedia actually also categorizes his music as New Age.

Anyways, when I heard this music, it really moved me and had a very strong effect on me. I stopped listening to what practitioner was saying and got immersed in the music, even if the volume wasn't very loud. And the images and the emotions that came up were from the romance novels. It wasn't anything concrete. There were images of an idyllic country side. Green pastures and a female and a male riding, or strolling through the grass. There were emotions of longing and tenderness, like a gradual growth of love through gentle approach and mutual discovery. And these emotions evoked goosebumps and tears.

I realize that music back then was probably different, and it's not like a recognition of that exact time. But for some reason this melody takes me to this specific emotional place.

Here's the melody:

That’s a very interesting response you had, which reminds me of a recent similar experience. I was looking at an old picture of a pastoral scene depicting a 19th century hunting lodge and estate. The real one was in front of me, so I could see how the countryside around me, with a lake behind me, had changed. Seeing this picture evoked a deep longing to go back to those times of the unspoilt nature and its corresponding feeling of deep peace, yet also seemed hauntingly familiar, as if I recognized it in some way.
 

cassandra

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
I finished 'The Rothwell Brothers' series by Madeline Hunter. I think she has a lot going for her. Obviously intelligent with an excellent vocabulary, at least some inclination towards higher realities, depth of Being that results in descriptive brilliance at times, and plenty of creativity. Book four was definitely the best. Romance novel combined with detective story with a combination of Occident with a splash of Orient, and elements of seeing the unseen to add to the mix.

So I agree, fascinating.

I think she's fairly new to the genre, so we may see some good stuff from her in the future.
Thanks for the heads up. I’ve run out of Baloghs, Gracies, and my other favorites, so have started these. The first one, read only 33% is most promising. It only sounds a teeny little bit American and is well written and intelligent, just as you say!
I have had a few problems with some of the novels sounding very American. Of course I have no problems with American English per se, but well, I’m a fussy person, and it bothers me when the characters say things like “hell yes”, “you son of a bitch”, “let’s do this” or “how’s that working for you?” Sometimes my fantasy world is somewhat rigid and strict rules have to be applied by. Even in movies it bothers me when they don’t lock their car doors. Aleta Edwards talks about this rigidity in Fear of the Abyss, as many here already know. For this reason I only managed the first Bridgerton novel. By the end of it, in my mind’s eye, all the regency costumes had fallen off the characters, and the women were wearing mini skirts, the men wife beaters. It’s kind of a problem which is holding me back from completing the list. :-[
Perhaps this one could go on the list? I loved it!

 

Reiki_62

The Force is Strong With This One
I've been trying to understand how reading these types of books might help my understanding in any significant way and decided I wouldn't be able to make any type of determination on this without actually reading one of the books. I just finished The Highwayman and The Hunter by Kerrigan Byrne and I remember reading similar books when I was younger but have not read anything like this in many years. To say these books made an impact would be an understatement, but I am still trying to sort out my thoughts and feelings. The raw sexuality of these books was exciting to read but also painful. I have had three relationships in my life - 2 marriages and one a "significant other" and all had failed miserably. I divorced my 2nd husband in 2002 and I was so drained and hurt from this relationship (he is a predator) that I have never allowed myself to become involved again - not even simple dating- and have thrown all of my love and attention towards my kids and granddaughters. I have been realizing the past year or so how very closed off I have become towards other people and while this has helped me to understand myself better, it has led to a lot of loneliness and difficulty relating to others on anything but a very superficial level.

With the current covid nonsense and lack of available means of meeting and forming new relationships in person (I live in a blue state run by tyrants and full of people unwilling to think for themselves) I know that it is unlikely that I will be able to find a compatible partner so I will need to apply any lessons learned from these books to other relationships in my life and towards gaining a better understanding of myself and what I need to work on. I think once I have moved past the emptiness in my own life that these books have helped me to see I will reread them (and others on the list) to gain a better understanding of the ideas and lessons that can be learned with these types of books.
 
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