Romantic Fiction, Reality Shaping and The Work

[dennis]

I'm thinking the modern equivalent is something like facebook or twitter

The quizzing glass or quizzer was a popular accessory during the Georgian and English Regency eras. It consists of a single round, oval or oblong lens rimmed in gold, silver or pinchbeck. Some of the handles are quite elaborate and might even have compartments containing such items as vinaigrettes or a lock of hair. The loop of the handle often swivels to make it easier to lay flat when hung from a chain. Depending on the owner’s needs a quizzing glass was either set with a magnifying lens or a corrective lens. The lenses were made by opticians and were most likely set into frames provided by goldsmiths and jewelers.

The quizzing glass appears to be an innocuous item that would have been used to assist a person who had poor vision, but when you look deeper you discover it was much more than that.

The Power of the Quizzing Glass

The quizzing glass or quizzer was a popular accessory during the Georgian and English Regency eras. It consists of a single round, oval or oblong lens rimmed in gold, silver or pinchbeck. Some of…

thecozydrawingroom.com

 

[Jones]

I'm thinking the modern equivalent is something like facebook or twitter

I'm not getting the connection to facebook or twitter - maybe I'm misunderstanding you. A quizzing glass is basically a magnifying glass used to assist with poor eyesight.

 

[Nienna]

I'm not getting the connection to facebook or twitter - maybe I'm misunderstanding you. A quizzing glass is basically a magnifying glass used to assist with poor eyesight.

Yep! They even sell them on Amazon

 

[dennis]

Jones said:
I'm not getting the connection to facebook or twitter


Besides its practical use, the social use to spot and comment on behaviors was what I was thinking about.

 

[hlat]

I didn't like the story about Morgan Bedwyn in Mary Balogh's Slightly Tempted.

Spoiler

Morgan learned that the Earl had betrayed her multiple times, and she thought she would get revenge on him by having sex with him? It reminds me of the female psychopath in Cleckley's Mask of Sanity. I think she made a bad decision to marry him after the multiple betrayals, because I don't think she could trust him after the betrayals.

Forgiveness is one thing, and trust is something different.

 

[Chu]

I didn't like the story about Morgan Bedwyn in Mary Balogh's Slightly Tempted.
[...] Forgiveness is one thing, and trust is something different.

I don't remember all the details and would have to re-read that one, but I didn't only get that impression, FWIW.

Spoiler: Spoiler

There was also a lot of understanding of what had caused him to play games, etc. She understood that anger had ruled him for a long time, but that he loved her above that.

Yes, I think it was a bit more unrealistic than the other in the series, and that trust would take longer to re-build than was portrayed, but I still thought it was good.

 

[Nienna]

I didn't like the story about Morgan Bedwyn in Mary Balogh's Slightly Tempted.

I do agree with you on that one. It's the one I like least in that series.

 

[Oxajil]

I finished reading First Comes Marriage by Mary Balogh (from the Huxtable Quintet) and I thought it was a very touching story. I could relate to Vanessa's issues and I thought there were some really nice quotes in there. My thoughts:

Spoiler: First Comes Marriage by Mary Balogh

I think most people probably have insecurities with how they look and I definitely have them and they can run pretty deep. I have my moments of feeling insecure but over the years I started to better understand beauty. I got a little teary when Elliot told Vanessa she's beautiful. Even though he didn't fully believe it himself and she probably didn't believe him, I think it was what she needed to hear, because all her life she's been told (and has told herself) she's not as beautiful as or that she's plain. Elliot saw that need and provided, even if it's a small act.

It was when Elliot started to recognize, appreciate and eventually come to love her beauty (starting with her smiling eyes and her outlook on life) and told her and showed her so, repeatedly and genuinely, that she started to feel beautiful and cherished. And I thought it was cute he called her "a piece of springtime". Meanwhile, Vanessa showed Elliot that it's okay to love and trust again.

Some nice quotes:

"Someone needs to tell you the truth," he said, "and it might as well be your husband. You have been coy with your beauty. You have hidden it from all except those who take the time to bask in your smiles and look deeply into your eyes. Anyone who does take the time will soon uncover your secret. You are beautiful."

"What is happiness?" he asked her. "A moment of joy," she said without hesitation. "Only a moment? It sounds not worth working for, then," he said. "Oh, there you are wrong," she told him. "The whole of life is a single moment. There is nothing else but this moment, is there? Always this moment." In his experience moments passed and were gone forever. "The whole of life is joy, then?" he said. "It is all happiness?" She could not possibly be that naive. "No, of course not," she said. "But one moment of happiness can make the whole of life worth living - like leavening in bread. It can show what life can be and is meant to be. It can give one hope in the dark times. It can give one faith in life and the future."

"We should all be as realistic as I," she said. "Why is realism always seen as such a negative thing? Why do we find it so difficult to trust anything but disaster and violence and betrayal? Life is good. Even when good people die far too young and older people betray us, life is good. Life is what we make of it. We get to choose how we see it."

And probably my favorite:

"And heal he did. He came to understand that love - if he dared use that word - did not reside in any one person. His father had let him down. So had Con. But love did not. Love remained to him both as something other people gave him and, more important, as something he was capable of giving."

I've never thought about it that way, but it's so true! All in all a very sweet story and I look forward to see what happens in the second book.

 

[Carl]

I finished reading First Comes Marriage by Mary Balogh (from the Huxtable Quintet) and I thought it was a very touching story. I could relate to Vanessa's issues and I thought there were some really nice quotes in there. My thoughts:

This whole series is a masterpiece. Suspenseful, passionate, dark and yet ultimately incredibly beautiful, with an amazing twist at the end. I've been disappointed to so far not find any other series that captured my imagination and just ignited in me that visceral sense of life energy in quite the same way.

If anyone enjoyed the Huxtable quintet like I did, and has some similar recommendations, I'm all ears!

 

[ryu]

I finished reading First Comes Marriage by Mary Balogh (from the Huxtable Quintet) and I thought it was a very touching story. I could relate to Vanessa's issues and I thought there were some really nice quotes in there. My thoughts:

Spoiler: First Comes Marriage by Mary Balogh

I think most people probably have insecurities with how they look and I definitely have them and they can run pretty deep. I have my moments of feeling insecure but over the years I started to better understand beauty. I got a little teary when Elliot told Vanessa she's beautiful. Even though he didn't fully believe it himself and she probably didn't believe him, I think it was what she needed to hear, because all her life she's been told (and has told herself) she's not as beautiful as or that she's plain. Elliot saw that need and provided, even if it's a small act.

It was when Elliot started to recognize, appreciate and eventually come to love her beauty (starting with her smiling eyes and her outlook on life) and told her and showed her so, repeatedly and genuinely, that she started to feel beautiful and cherished. And I thought it was cute he called her "a piece of springtime". Meanwhile, Vanessa showed Elliot that it's okay to love and trust again.

Some nice quotes:







And probably my favorite:


I've never thought about it that way, but it's so true! All in all a very sweet story and I look forward to see what happens in the second book.

I also finished recently it and it is one of my favorite so far. Vanessa's insecurities are spot on and I also teared up, because I also devalued myself in the past because of my looks.
But the thing is, Vanessa IS beautiful, we never see her, but the way she thinks, her faith in life, her love for her family, her quirks, all of this makes her a unique and beautiful human being. It makes you think as a reader, when you love a character who doesn't love himself. It makes you see yourself from a different perspective and recognise the ways in which you judge yourself harshly and unjustly.

 

[Mililea]

I finished reading First Comes Marriage by Mary Balogh (from the Huxtable Quintet) and I thought it was a very touching story.

It sounds very interesting and beautiful. I think I will read this series next. Thanks for the tip! I am currently reading the "Rescued from ruin" series. It's nice too, but a bit tedious at times I think. You just can't compare the writing style with Mary Balogh.

 

[Oxajil]

This whole series is a masterpiece. Suspenseful, passionate, dark and yet ultimately incredibly beautiful, with an amazing twist at the end. I've been disappointed to so far not find any other series that captured my imagination and just ignited in me that visceral sense of life energy in quite the same way.

If anyone enjoyed the Huxtable quintet like I did, and has some similar recommendations, I'm all ears!

I see what you mean and I haven't finished it yet!

I also finished recently it and it is one of my favorite so far. Vanessa's insecurities are spot on and I also teared up, because I also devalued myself in the past because of my looks.
But the thing is, Vanessa IS beautiful, we never see her, but the way she thinks, her faith in life, her love for her family, her quirks, all of this makes her a unique and beautiful human being. It makes you think as a reader, when you love a character who doesn't love himself. It makes you see yourself from a different perspective and recognise the ways in which you judge yourself harshly and unjustly.

Yeah, well said. And I agree, that's what makes her beautiful indeed.

And have fun reading, Mililea!

I finished Then Comes Seduction and At Last Comes Love (from the Huxtable Quintet), both really good stories! In At Last Comes Love, one character's actions I think is pretty close to STO behavior. Some thoughts:

Spoiler: Then Comes Seduction and At Last Comes Love (Balogh)

At some point the stories kind of start blending together as well as some characters. But of the three books I've read so far, Vanessa (from book 1) and Duncan (from book 3) stick out the most. Vanessa for her outlook on life and Duncan for the sacrifices he has made out of empathy. So selfless, strong and courageous.

Then Comes Seduction
Quite a story! I admire Katherine for not settling with just anyone, and that she followed her instinct and heart, and I admire Jasper for allowing himself to love again after a difficult childhood with a strict stepfather that led him to build a wall around his heart. It takes courage to open up and be vulnerable and to dare to love again, especially if you've lived a 'tough persona' for many years. It was with the help of Katherine, who saw through his mask pretty well, that helped him do so. I did have to facepalm every time Jasper said something the wrong way in critical moments! But I also can't blame him, because when you've behaved in a certain way for so long, some things can become quite automatic, but eventually he got things under control and Katherine thankfully came around.

As a side comment, I find it funny how Balogh portrays the little lies we tell ourselves! Such as:

"She no longer believed in romantic love. Oh, yes, she did."

At Last Comes Love
Margaret and Duncan. Wowee, what a story! Or should I say: By Jove! This one was very emotionally moving and sad, because an innocent child (Toby) was involved. As I was reading I thought that Duncan was probably innocent, though I didn't know how sinister the situation was. I felt so bad for what she (Laura, the lady Duncan ran off with) had gone through, she was physically abused and worse. It really showed how much of a sacrifice Duncan made in saving the lady, how courageous and strong he is, to even show his face in London despite all the rumors, but he did it all for Toby and the people who looked after him while he was gone. All of that is pretty close to STO behavior IMO, as it was purely a selfless act. While society believed he was a ruthless monster!

Of course, he was set to find a desperate young woman to marry, but his conscience wouldn't have allowed him if he had found one, I'm sure.

And in his selfless act of saving the lady and then taking care of Toby as if he was his own, he dodged a pretty big bullet because the bride he left at the altar was a psycho too. I'm just so happy it worked out for him, and Margaret who similarly was selfless as she lost her opportunity for marriage in order to take care of her siblings (turns out, she dodged a bullet too!). And the grandpa was a sweetie! He loves Duncan in his own way. Mostly, I'm happy it worked out for little Toby, the situation isn't ideal and he will have to face some ugly truths in the future, but he's got the best he could get. And I forgot to mention that Duncan's honesty toward Margaret was also admirable ("I do not love you. How could I? I do not know you. ... And you do not know me."). And some interesting quotes from Margaret:

I am just tired and forgot for a moment that marriage is a journey, just as life is. I must not expect it to be perfect from the start. If it were, we would have nowhere to go with it, would we?

But unless we can open ourselves to receive as well as to give, we can never be truly happy.

And from Balogh:

Life was not perfect. Except when it was.

Once again, great storywriting!

I've started reading Seducing an Angel now, and it's interesting as well so far.

 

[Mililea]

I am currently reading the "Rescued from ruin" series. It's nice too, but a bit tedious at times I think. You just can't compare the writing style with Mary Balogh.

And as it always happens when you write something like that... I think it was the same day my opinion of this book series changed completely and I have already read two more in the meantime. Because it suddenly grabbed me completely and I could put myself into the characters and their stories.
There is a reason why Laura mentioned at the beginning that we should finish it, even if it doesn't appeal to us at first. I think I remember that it can be exactly these books where we might find something that resonates with us.
I was recommended this series of books and at some points I thought, why did these people like this series so much, but now I'm on fire myself. I had to smile a bit at myself when I realised that

And have fun reading, Mililea!

Thank you I am looking forward to this series.

 

[hlat]

I completed Beyond the Sunrise, and I put it last among the Mary Balogh's books that I've finished.

Spoiler

The female main character is the most unlikeable of all, betraying the male main character over and over, and constantly lying to him. Then there was the pedophilia and gang rape. It was a wartime story on the continent, and it felt like it was dragging on forever.

Nevertheless, I was touched by the part about the innocence of teenage love, "There is nothing ridiculous about it. It is quite natural, I think, at times, to crave the innocence and joy of childhood and youth, and to grieve for their loss. There is nothing foolish about your story".

 

[trytofly]

Because it's been a long time since I've commented on these wonderful romantic books, and I was once again deeply touched by the last one I just read, I just wanted to quickly put in before the benefit they can bring us.
The obvious theme essentially exposed in Mary Balogh's The Obedient Bride is that of forgiveness. And the ego is undoubtedly the main obstacle to this one. You have to overcome this painful feeling of putting yourself down to forgive others when you feel terribly betrayed or hurt. Of course, the person to whom we forgive must deserve it. She has to prove herself to deserve a second chance.

Sorry if the quote that follows is not entirely consistent with the original. This is a translation from a French version of the book. I found it particularly relevant.

"Trust is not having blind faith in another. It is knowing and loving that other, and expecting them to give you his best."