Thank you for sharing your experience. Seems like you’ve gone through a scary and confusing ordeal at a very young age. I’ve been through abductions myself and as crazy as they make you feel, still feels very different from schizophrenia. I too have learned that there are so many beautiful things in this world to direct your attention to instead of dwelling on the circumstances imposed on us.When I first had a hallucinatory, abduction experience, at 17, I didn't talk about it. I didn't think about it but I didn't of course forget it.
I simply didn't have any place in my world view to put it.
I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy, but privately I thought, f, I'm schizo.
For me it was a time of incredible emotional upheaval and wild sometimes transformative intensity. With major depression, the separation was formative not immiadiate, happening painfully over a number of years.
The answer, of course, is to develop nous, something I've never heard of.
That I have the power to love, that I have the responsibility, faith, to protect myself.
And it is within this Christian faith, in the heart, that I see, not here, a type of schizophrenia that is like a fanatical scar tissue covering up, but not truly healing in response to waking up to the terror of the situation. Still, with all the rampant drug use and manufactured terror it's understandable.
But it isn't just in the fundies.
Lefty ideology hides it's hysteria in a divisive attempt to seek comfort in ideologic security. There's no healing from that.
But in all this there is the social fabric that does provide healing.
Families, children, laughter, security that is transformative whether unconscious and for me more and more learning and being conscious of.