Session 7 May 2016

Kay Kim said:
Hello Thebull,

Did you find your personal crystal? I have been thinking about what to do, if incase I ever lose my personal crystal, then I think I will use my house protection crystal as combining with personal protection, so I would carry with me all the time. Because all our crystals are connected to Cs and whole members' crystals.
The house protection crystal has same property as the personal crystal has, that is protecting from negative energy and things, but one problem is, have to think about how to carry.
Other solution is, when Laura recover her health fully to make more crystals in the future, then you can make another request for your personal protection crystal.
Just some thought.
Thanks for asking Kay Kim.Nothing's turned up yet so I'm not very hopeful now. It's quite ironic this has happened at a challenging time but it's my lack of awareness that caused it to go missing.

I may ask Request another crystal at a later date if it's feasible. it's quite a minor event in the grand scheme of things osit. I had become attached to it though so painful none the less.
 
3D Student said:
Thebull, maybe you could do dreamwork and try to remember where it was misplaced right before sleeping?

Wonder if dream work might help as well to locate your personal crystal, Thebull. Also, it is mentioned in the 7 May 2016 session that the dream stone can help with dream work. In case you might be interested, a thread on dream work:

https://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,17503.0.html

FWIW, I also misplaced my personal crystals at one point. It happened when I was really tired, right before I was getting ready for bed. I set it down on a comforter that matched the silk cloth color. Looked all around kind of frantically while it was right in the area. I know for me it highlighted how much I was 'going through the motions' at the time, as in being on auto pilot especially as I was so tired. I didn't even remember placing both on the comforter.
 
Merci Cléo pour ces liens que je découvre, Passionnant...

Thanks Cléo for these links that I discover, Exciting ...
 
Cleo said:
3D Student said:
Thebull, maybe you could do dreamwork and try to remember where it was misplaced right before sleeping?

Wonder if dream work might help as well to locate your personal crystal, Thebull. Also, it is mentioned in the 7 May 2016 session that the dream stone can help with dream work. In case you might be interested, a thread on dream work:

https://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,17503.0.html

FWIW, I also misplaced my personal crystals at one point. It happened when I was really tired, right before I was getting ready for bed. I set it down on a comforter that matched the silk cloth color. Looked all around kind of frantically while it was right in the area. I know for me it highlighted how much I was 'going through the motions' at the time, as in being on auto pilot especially as I was so tired. I didn't even remember placing both on the comforter.
I'll take a look at the dream work Cleo thanks for that suggestion. I used to leave my crystal in my suit trouser pocket and hang them up I often thought I misplaced it. I know though the day I think I lost it I took it out from there and put it in my short pockets.
 
Cleo said:
3D Student said:
Thebull, maybe you could do dreamwork and try to remember where it was misplaced right before sleeping?

Wonder if dream work might help as well to locate your personal crystal, Thebull. Also, it is mentioned in the 7 May 2016 session that the dream stone can help with dream work. In case you might be interested, a thread on dream work:

I second that. I found lost keys and my wallet via the dream work. I mediated before the sleep with the intention to find the missing items and each time had a dream just before awakening where I was literally shown where the items were. In each case after I got up, I ran to the place and the items were there and I found them. So, please try it.
 
Hello Obi,

Your dream work impressed me greatly! I don't know what was, but I know that something is peculiar about that "just before awakening time".
It is somehow very different than ordinary dream time. Because I had some kind of unusual experience in that hour.
In several times, someone called me so loudly that I actually heard and startled by that voice and woke up.
And some months ago, I used to read some books or scrolls front of me, and woken up startled by my own voice still reading few seconds more, but realized that I didn't even know the language I was reading, it happened day after days, maybe month or so.
But I ignored all. But now I want to meditate some subjects before going to bed and see what will happen.
 
Obi said:
Cleo said:
3D Student said:
Thebull, maybe you could do dreamwork and try to remember where it was misplaced right before sleeping?

Wonder if dream work might help as well to locate your personal crystal, Thebull. Also, it is mentioned in the 7 May 2016 session that the dream stone can help with dream work. In case you might be interested, a thread on dream work:

I second that. I found lost keys and my wallet via the dream work. I mediated before the sleep with the intention to find the missing items and each time had a dream just before awakening where I was literally shown where the items were. In each case after I got up, I ran to the place and the items were there and I found them. So, please try it.

Why wait for sleep? The same results can be achieved by meditation while awake. You still need to get in that dream like state, but the results are similar.
 
I meditate reguarly and I do understand it is a possibility that it could help me find the crystal. I have witnessed some truly astounding results through dreams and meditation in the past and I continue to do so.

I feel that I hVe lost my crystal outside the house though. Time will tell if it will show up again who knows some things are meant to be.
 
If I may be honest, I don't feel like I'm really a good fit for this community. I don't really have the strength to put all my thoughts about what differences there are in myself that I feel keep me from developing a bond with you all here, but suffice it to say that my sorts of attitudes, outlooks on things, and my more general disposition are, I think, a poor fit for company for all the others I see here, and so am ambivalent about attempting to, I don't know, be more active around here, communicate more, interact and share ideas more. If I were to attempt to be more direct, I think I'd end up making myself sound like some sort of irreconcilable narcissist, or a broken individual is more like it. So, there's a lot of fear in me about not being able to open up here, I'm paralyzed at the thought of it almost.

Anyway, that brings me more to my real inquiry here, specifically about the crystal project, although the answer to that inquiry will, I think, be applicable to the matter of my place in the community here. Is there some expectation, something that I'm expected to do or perform? I'm already at the brink of ruination after all these months of study and meditation, it's been exceptionally deleterious for my mental health, I can't stop looking for the reasons in things and the meanings behind dreams and synchronistic events, and attempting to follow these threads has done almost nothing for day-to-day life, and it's only been since attempting to shelve all of this for a while that I've finally had the focus to start getting my problems in order and finally making some headway in my life, something other than stumbling down an endless pit of madness and despair.

I know this isn't making me any friends here, and if this tirade is deserving of a chewing-out, then by all means, please do chew me out, and thoroughly, but that's all I can make out of this strange journey so far since finding this website. I won't beat around the bush over this stuff.

In turning my focus as far as I could imagine towards being of service to others, I've almost entirely neglected anything of a more personal nature that would do anything meaningful towards helping me to empower myself in the world and help to fulfill my hopes and dreams. I feel I'd be dishonest if I said that I think the latter would help contribute towards making myself able to more meaningfully contribute towards this "network", if indeed I am a member of such, but that is what I'm rolling with at the present. If all this trouble has been born from an innocuously small, but grave, and thus-far uncorrected error in my judgement, well... I don't, maybe it makes me a severe imbecile of sorts, it's your call.


If all this hasn't already made me an unwelcome individual on this site or a deplorable, self-centered ingrate to you all, then there is only one thing that I would ask, as there is no one else I know that would possibly have an answer to what assails me (I feel I've tried any good-will beyond a reasonable extent that I'd imagine, but since I've already gone this far, I may as well finish this posting) and I need help.

I had a successful job interview recently after months of soul-searching and at least a couple months of of job-searching. I waffle on a lot of things, but, FINALLY, I was willing to surrender myself to what things God has in store for me, finally willing to put myself out there in whatever ways would be necessary, and, that same day, I think I received an acknowledgement of that, which answered everything I could've WANTED
 
(hit caps and post by accident) out of life and more... ah whatever, does this matter to anyone? I don't know, just show me the door
 
Hi Restored One?
From what you write, it seems you do want to leave the forum. If it is really your wish, then you may just say goodbye and leave. We wish you success and good health. There is no reason to "show you the door" if it is just that you don't "fit in". Everybody's different and everyone has their own learing profile and trajectory in life.
 
Hi mkrnhr,

I don't want to leave, not in the least! This's a great community with a lot of interesting people on it, I'm just really confused about a lot of things and having troubles is all, and I don't really know what to do about them, in so many words.

I should've just stuck with my initial posting and let it be at that, but I don't know, I wanted to give some background for it? Truth be told, I'm not really that familiar with the forum format and am just lost in terms of approaching much in the way of conversation. I don't know how to really talk to people and be more casual, and when it comes to more in-depth subjects, I sometimes have doubts about whether I'm really able to add much of anything to the conversation; otherwise, when I'm presented with the opportunity of talking about any thing not really specified to just one thing, my mind goes in like fifteen different directions at once. I'm sorry if I've been confusing, but I really do want to be here; I do, really!

OK, sorry about all this, I'll just get to the point, which is also part of why I think I'm having some difficulty. It's been more intermittent, but I've had this really strong, sort of energetic sensation reverberating all along my body, especially the extremities. It used to be less frequent, but I've been having it almost every few days it seems like, sometimes twice a day. It seems to come on during certain circumstances, usually when I'm trying to communicate something in respect to esoterica, and it's been happening as I've been writing these past few posts. Depending on the length that it persists, it can cause me to shake and shiver, and fine motor control in my hands gets shakier. I don't know if that's any sort of hyper-dimensional attack, I kind of doubt it to be honest, but I don't really know what to make of it, other than energy flying out of my body or something weird like that.

Other than that, there's a similar phenomena I've just recently been experiencing but THIS one is, I'm very sure, a purposeful attack. Just as I'd gotten home after I'd reached a decision towards following my current job offering, I started experiencing effects like this energy surging phenomena but with a much more, I want to say "negative" as it's a quick catch-all but if I'd use any term, I'd say it's like "crushing / black-hole-vortex-absorbing/annihilating" in disposition. It's lasted consistently since yesterday evening, strongest at onset and with some side-effects, such as some tremoring (more uncontrolled shaking variety than fine-motor, nerves-firing sort in the above paragraph) and some mental fog, which I think is like what Dragon refers to in this thread: https://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,44342.0.html

There's a little more to this second sort but I don't want this post to get super-long, and getting around to it now I guess I don't really have any question per se about the crystals, other than, should they help with something like this?


I'll be ordering mine soon, if the project's still ongoing. In any case, thank you for responding, and I hope to spend more time on this forum. It's a really nice place and I want for us to get to know one another here.
 
Thanks for clarifying Restored One?.

We are all here to learn, not only about different aspects of the world, but also about ourselves. The process can be gradual, sometimes disturbing, but all in all, all it requires is patience.

For example, on the subject on how to communicate, you can just observe how other do, try it, see how it works, not being shy from asking questions or asking for help on some aspect you struggle with, because there is a possibility that some forum members have been through similar issues and their input can be helpful.
From what you describe you seem to suffer from some form of nervousness or anxiety, although I could be completely mistaken.

You can start a new thread to describe these issues. Whether it's physiological, emotional, or even "supernatural", if something is not discussed as clearly as possible, there is almost no chance of being able to tackle it efficiently. Also, remember that learning is fun, so all I hope is that you have fun in the forum as long as you wish to :)
 
Restored One? said:
If I may be honest, I don't feel like I'm really a good fit for this community. I don't really have the strength to put all my thoughts about what differences there are in myself that I feel keep me from developing a bond with you all here, but suffice it to say that my sorts of attitudes, outlooks on things, and my more general disposition are, I think, a poor fit for company for all the others I see here, and so am ambivalent about attempting to, I don't know, be more active around here, communicate more, interact and share ideas more. If I were to attempt to be more direct, I think I'd end up making myself sound like some sort of irreconcilable narcissist, or a broken individual is more like it. So, there's a lot of fear in me about not being able to open up here, I'm paralyzed at the thought of it almost.

Anyway, that brings me more to my real inquiry here, specifically about the crystal project, although the answer to that inquiry will, I think, be applicable to the matter of my place in the community here. Is there some expectation, something that I'm expected to do or perform? I'm already at the brink of ruination after all these months of study and meditation, it's been exceptionally deleterious for my mental health, I can't stop looking for the reasons in things and the meanings behind dreams and synchronistic events, and attempting to follow these threads has done almost nothing for day-to-day life, and it's only been since attempting to shelve all of this for a while that I've finally had the focus to start getting my problems in order and finally making some headway in my life, something other than stumbling down an endless pit of madness and despair.

I know this isn't making me any friends here, and if this tirade is deserving of a chewing-out, then by all means, please do chew me out, and thoroughly, but that's all I can make out of this strange journey so far since finding this website. I won't beat around the bush over this stuff.

In turning my focus as far as I could imagine towards being of service to others, I've almost entirely neglected anything of a more personal nature that would do anything meaningful towards helping me to empower myself in the world and help to fulfill my hopes and dreams. I feel I'd be dishonest if I said that I think the latter would help contribute towards making myself able to more meaningfully contribute towards this "network", if indeed I am a member of such, but that is what I'm rolling with at the present. If all this trouble has been born from an innocuously small, but grave, and thus-far uncorrected error in my judgement, well... I don't, maybe it makes me a severe imbecile of sorts, it's your call.


If all this hasn't already made me an unwelcome individual on this site or a deplorable, self-centered ingrate to you all, then there is only one thing that I would ask, as there is no one else I know that would possibly have an answer to what assails me (I feel I've tried any good-will beyond a reasonable extent that I'd imagine, but since I've already gone this far, I may as well finish this posting) and I need help.

I had a successful job interview recently after months of soul-searching and at least a couple months of of job-searching. I waffle on a lot of things, but, FINALLY, I was willing to surrender myself to what things God has in store for me, finally willing to put myself out there in whatever ways would be necessary, and, that same day, I think I received an acknowledgement of that, which answered everything I could've WANTED

Restored One?,

When you say:

it's only been since attempting to shelve all of this for a while that I've finally had the focus to start getting my problems in order and finally making some headway in my life, something other than stumbling down an endless pit of madness and despair.

It sounds like what many of us go through trying to sort everything out. Since you are looking for a job/new job that seems kind of important for anyone. Many here are facing those kinds of everyday situations and some talk about the process. A successful job interview sounds like a good thing to me. Part of what we are learning is to "pay attention to reality left and right". Reality these days is just getting more chaotic day by day so you are in good company here if you need to express a little frustration now and then.

The idea of being "service to others" doesn't exclude holding a job and making a living. Gurdjieff mentions that we all need to aspire to be at least good "obyvatels".

Splitting as a Symptom of Internal Considering
"Obyvatel is a strange word in the Russian language. It is used in the sense of 'inhabitant,' without any particular shade. At the same time it is used to express contempt or derision--'obyvatel'--as though there could be nothing worse. But those who speak in this way do not understand that the obyvatel is the healthy kernel of life. And from the point of view of the possibility of evolution, a good obyvatel has many more chances than a 'lunatic' or a 'tramp.'

... I do not at all wish to say that all obyvatels are people of the objective way. Nothing of the kind. Among them are thieves, rascals, and fools; but there are others. I merely wish to say that being a good obyvatel by itself does not hinder the 'way.' And finally there are different types of obyvatel.

Imagine, for example, the type of obyvatel who lives all his life just as the other people round him, conspicuous in nothing, perhaps a good master, who makes money, and is perhaps even close-fisted. At the same time he dreams all his life of monasteries, for instance, and dreams that some time or other he will leave everything and go into a monastery. And such things happen in the East and in Russia. A man lives and works, then, when his children or his grandchildren are grown up, he gives everything to them and goes into a monastery. This is the obyvatel of which I speak. Perhaps he does not go into a monastery, perhaps he does not need this. His own life as an obyvatel can be his way.

"People who are definitely thinking about ways, particularly people of intellectual ways, very often look down on the obyvatel and in general despise the virtues of the obyvatel. But they only show by this their own personal unsuitability for any way whatever. Because no way can begin from a level lower than the obyvatel. This is very often lost sight of on people who are unable to organize their own personal lives, who are too weak to struggle with and conquer life, dream of the ways, or what they consider are ways, because they think it will be easier for them than life and because this, so to speak, justifies their weakness and inadaptability.

A man who can be a good obyvatel is much more helpful from the point of view of the way than a 'tramp' who thinks himself much higher than an obyvatel. I call 'tramps' all the so-called 'intelligentsia'--artists, poets, any kind of 'bohemian' in general, who despises the obyvatel and who at the same time would be unable to exist without him. Ability to orientate oneself in life is a very useful quality from the point of view of the work. A good obyvatel should be able to support at least twenty persons by his own labor. What is a man worth who is unable to do this?"

I hope you feel free to be an "inhabitant" here as long as you want to.
 
Restored One?, it sounds like you may have been taking on too much. I know what it's like to have the ups and downs of soul searching. And helping and working on ourselves helps others too. So I'd just say take your time, and like mkrnhr says, try seeing how others say things. Your viewpoint may make a difference and others are there to help and network with you too.

Just some thoughts and I hope I'm not projecting too much. I'm glad you had a successful interview! :)
 
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