Shocking dream about Laura.

[Gonzo]

I'm still feeling remnants of the pressure but deciding to visit a marriage counselor and ask for therapy for myself, couple with accepting Gandalf's generous offer to share some DMSO with me (I had to fight some ego there - man accepting help, sense of failure, etc.), not to mention networking, seems to have made a huge difference.

This brings me to the thought that acting in our best interest insteading of waiting for the storm to pass is the difference between being active versus passive in one's life.

There will always be attacks in one form or another. Succumbing is a choice, OSIT, which triggers deeper negative effects and making active choices to move forward triggers healing.

Gonzo

 

[Cyre2067]

Well it seems everyone's taking a beating lately. I've had two weeks from hell with school responsibilities, work and roommate situations just piling up. I just remembered to breathe, to not dwell on negatively introjected thoughts that kept cropping up, and trying to just accomplish each task before me.

All in all I think I did pretty well. Just today I got some midterm grades back and they were all As and Bs... my birthday was last thursday and it was nice to go out and have a bunch of people enjoy laughter and sushi together. It was also cute to get birthday wishes on my facebook wall, I haven't felt that loved in a long time.

Yesterday was really bad, like my boss decided to dump extra work on me, and then gave me pooh when I couldn't finish it all. I would have stayed late, but I had two quizzes to makeup down at school. ::shrugs:: I think he sensed that he was a little overbearing and kinda made up for it before I left, but I still felt drained all last night and today. Sleeping a lot and such.

Wishing everyone a safe weekend. Take care on the roads and crossing streets and don't drop the vigilance!

 

[Guardian]

And then Laura got up and her and I put on our armour, like chainmail,

I know this is going to sound like a rather odd question...but do you happen recall what color your armor was?

Mind you, we were pretty handy with a broadsword I can tell you :)

I don't doubt that for a second :)

<::::::::::::::}====0

 

[JGeropoulas]

This brings me to the thought that acting in our best interest insteading of waiting for the storm to pass is the difference between being active versus passive in one's life.

There will always be attacks in one form or another. Succumbing is a choice, OSIT, which triggers deeper negative effects and making active choices to move forward triggers healing.

Looks like a great place to share this Gandhi quote I recently discovered:

"A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history."

 

[Rich]

Looks like a great place to share this Gandhi quote I recently discovered:

"A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history."

Brilliant quote JGeropoulas for the work that we do. Like it so much I've added to my signature :)

 

[Smallwood]

Last night, after reading Sott.net for hours and hours, I saw a dream where Laura and the Chateau team were taken somewhere by a secret service of some kind. One of the team remained and I joined him in the search for the others. I remember we used a ship for searching them. It was a rather unpleasant dream.

 

[slowone]

And then Laura got up and her and I put on our armour, like chainmail,

I know this is going to sound like a rather odd question...but do you happen recall what color your armor was?

Mind you, we were pretty handy with a broadsword I can tell you :)

I don't doubt that for a second :)

<::::::::::::::}====0

Sorry Guardian, only just caught your question. Silver is the answer and suprisingly flattering I might add ;D. Have you had a similar dream/imagining?

 

[Turgon]

Sorry Guardian, only just caught your question. Silver is the answer and suprisingly flattering I might add ;D. Have you had a similar dream/imagining?

According to _http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamthemes/colors.htm

Silver

Silver represents justice and purity. It is symbolic of some protective energy.

 

[Sonrisa]

I've been continuing, on and off, to feel really depressed, over the last few weeks. Good day, followed by a day where I feel hopeless, followed by weird days (people are acting really strangely around me), then a good day, then waking up in a really bad mood for no reason I can determine. It has been really hard to maintain my emotional equilibrium. I've been doing the POTS and breathing every day, which helps a lot. But what a roller coaster it has been, and continues to be!

Coming back to this thread has helped me realise that it may be a concerted attack against forum members, not just me going a bit nuts. Not nice, but gives me more perspective. That helps a lot.

Take care, all!

Sonrisa

 

[flashgordonv]

Today reading through this thread has been a big revelation and a wake up call for me. Ever since the MMS saga, I have withdrawn from posting much and generally participating in the life of the forum. I do read it pretty regularly but I have not been participating. It was somebody else's post in this thread that reminded me that the reason I pulled back was the distaste and loathing I experienced during the MMS incident. Specifically what triggered it was where I read Joe's comment defending Laura, about Laura being the only person in the world today who sees things clearly. I just recoiled from that, it reminded me of the fundamentalist pentecostal scene I was involved in for about 10 years, it seemed fanatical, it seemed to be "blind faith" and it triggered feelings that this whole forum and the FOTCM thing was very cult like. Not rational, I realise but the comment triggered a massive program in me and it just came home to me now today, reading this thread that the damn thing is still running. I had 'forgotten" about it and I was wondering why I was feeling so lethargic about networking. Now at least I can see it, and can deal with it.

 

[Iron]

Unfortunately I did not write down the dreams of that period, however I remember that these days had a very tense, odd sensation in the air. I got during these days an increased sense of belonging to the forum, even if Im not the regulariest of posters. After scrolling through the posts I saw that you came in the other side of the turmoil alive, kicking and read to DO, once again Laura.
You are...kinda my hero. Please take care... not just because you are carrying a torch of hope and truth.
Because you are a great person, and its sad to see great gentle people suffer. Its sad to see anyone suffer, but I think you understood what I meant :)

Some parts of what Jeremy and Slowone have written, about "voices" that try to badmouth Laura et all I can relate. Although those are no longer as active as they were, they prevented me from interacting many times in the past. The predator whispered that "you will be misunderstood anyway, so why bother?" The nature and words whispered I think change from person to person, but in the end I think the purpose is the same - "Somehow destroy or annoy or interrupt the work being done."

 

[SeekinTruth]

I've been continuing, on and off, to feel really depressed, over the last few weeks. Good day, followed by a day where I feel hopeless, followed by weird days (people are acting really strangely around me), then a good day, then waking up in a really bad mood for no reason I can determine. It has been really hard to maintain my emotional equilibrium. I've been doing the POTS and breathing every day, which helps a lot. But what a roller coaster it has been, and continues to be!

Coming back to this thread has helped me realise that it may be a concerted attack against forum members, not just me going a bit nuts. Not nice, but gives me more perspective. That helps a lot.

Take care, all!

Sonrisa

Hi, Sonrisa. Sorry to hear you're having such a roller coaster ride and going through rough times. I had my share of it in the last few weeks too. Now I seem to have snapped out of it and am feeling very hopeful again balanced by the constant signs of the Terror of the Situation at large. I've found Laura's advise works like a charm: when you're feeling down and hopeless and yucky, just do things to help others -- network. All of the sudden your perspective changes and you become focused on the overall goals of the network and the wonder of being human in life comes back into balance with the terror of being human in life.

I know what a caring and intelligent (in all senses of the word, not just intellectually) person you are and know that you have it in you to give lots of great value to the network. So when you're feeling down, we're always here for you. And if you really want to snap out of it quick, give the predators (internal & external) the metaphoric finger so to speak, do what it does not want to do. It really seems to do the trick.

 

[slowone]

I've been continuing, on and off, to feel really depressed, over the last few weeks. Good day, followed by a day where I feel hopeless, followed by weird days (people are acting really strangely around me), then a good day, then waking up in a really bad mood for no reason I can determine. It has been really hard to maintain my emotional equilibrium. I've been doing the POTS and breathing every day, which helps a lot. But what a roller coaster it has been, and continues to be!

Coming back to this thread has helped me realise that it may be a concerted attack against forum members, not just me going a bit nuts. Not nice, but gives me more perspective. That helps a lot.

Take care, all!

Sonrisa

Sorry to hear you've been going through the mill so to speak. Hope things begin to even out soon. Thats the worst bit I think, thinking your'e alone, going a bit nuts as you said. It seems to be happeneing a lot recently, and not just to members of the forum. Almost everyone I speak to feels really out of sorts.

Thinking of you

 

[Psalehesost]

I've noticed a strange cycle in recent weeks of (short, coming and going often) periodical demotivation and accordingly skewed perspective and then periods without this issue. Often the changes are subtle, sometimes they are not - right now it's quite heavy.

Sometimes also, or just a vaguely anxious feeling while browsing the forum - and a sense of distance, somehow, as if something is holding me away.

Ideas come and go, and it's often not long before this demotivation sets in. But then there soon comes a recovery and I get something done. And sometimes get things done despite a demotivated state.

 

[Niall]

And sometimes get things done despite a demotivated state.

That's when you get to see something about yourself, when you do what it does not want you to do.