Something to Remember...

[Plume]

Indeed, really timely and helpful to remember.
Thank you Joe for sharing

 

[trendsetter37]

Thanks for sharing this Joe. Those are very appropriate things to keep in mind for the times.

Came across this, which I think is from the 'Dear Universe' book by Yolo Akili, and thought it was very true, something to remember for sure, and maybe even a motto for this forum.

Remember: Oppression thrives off isolation. Connection is the only thing that can save you.

Remember: Oppression thrives on superficiality. Honesty about your struggles is the key to your liberation.

Remember: Your story can help save someone's life. Your silence contributes to someone else's struggle. Speak so we all can be free. Love so we all can be liberated. The moment is now. We need you.

yea ...

( but .... when it hurts a lot it is hard to talk .... when it is over it hurts to "remember" it again )

Yes, but how do you feel when you do get to speak on something difficult in your life and there is someone there to listen? I feel as though sometimes verbalizing and sharing your internal landscape is the first step to healing. Maybe networking is the cure for recurring traumatic memories and serves to lessen the load if it has been shared previously? Better that than a perpetual source of malaise.

{snip}
Good stuff. Last week I was judging a speech and debate event at the U of Oregon. As I walked around from classroom to classroom, I was in a good mood and projecting a positive sense of being and would look at everyone I passed. NOBODY looked at me or made eye contact - not so much as a nod or a smile. Everybody was in a bubble, whether it was in their own 'personal space', self-involved in their head trips or locked into their hand held gizmos, phones. There just was zero personal contact or acknowledgement of the existence of the others around. No connection between people.

So, isolation? Check. Superficiality? Check. No sharing? Check. It was way creepy. Sort of like living in a bad sci-fi movie.

I've noticed this as well while in college. Sometimes walking to class in the morning your in a good mood and would just like to give a nod or smile of acknowledgement to a passerby walking in the opposite direction. Unfortunately, there were a lot of times where the other person would just look straight ahead; As if it was their mission to be unseen. Baffling and sad.

 

[luc]

Thanks for sharing that with us, Joe.

Dito Joe, I think this is very powerful. I've seen many instances of misery resulting from ignoring these 3 things. It seems that whenever they are overcome (or at least one of them), there's some progress. Thanks!

 

[Gawan]

I agree with others and thank you for sharing Joe. It is definitely worth keeping in mind.

 

[Deleted member 11729]

Thanks for sharing this Joe. Those are very appropriate things to keep in mind for the times.

Came across this, which I think is from the 'Dear Universe' book by Yolo Akili, and thought it was very true, something to remember for sure, and maybe even a motto for this forum.

Remember: Oppression thrives off isolation. Connection is the only thing that can save you.

Remember: Oppression thrives on superficiality. Honesty about your struggles is the key to your liberation.

Remember: Your story can help save someone's life. Your silence contributes to someone else's struggle. Speak so we all can be free. Love so we all can be liberated. The moment is now. We need you.

yea ...

( but .... when it hurts a lot it is hard to talk .... when it is over it hurts to "remember" it again )

Yes, but how do you feel when you do get to speak on something difficult in your life and there is someone there to listen? I feel as though sometimes verbalizing and sharing your internal landscape is the first step to healing. Maybe networking is the cure for recurring traumatic memories and serves to lessen the load if it has been shared previously? Better that than a perpetual source of malaise.

Oh .. it is wonderful feeling, that I almost forgot it exist, but Forum and all of you here, through networking, helped me to realize that again! THANK YOU! ... it is just the most helping experience I ever had before .. no any therapist so far was helpful for me to realize all the traps of our mind and emotions, as this place and this amazing community ...

as it is not just about our own traumas, it is at the same time about the bigger picture of the emotional, and in general about the reality of life of humans on earth ... knowing what I know now, makes me feel so much more confident and integrated than I was before ... what gave me better insights on how to communicate with others, and to understand why those who are not involved in Work, are just still blind, as it is the nature of programing of the outer world, and how understanding the limitation of their understanding, with this knowledge and external considering practice, we can truly make it easy to them, to accept also others as they are, and not to expect what they can't give, due to that lack of knowledge ... since this understanding, I more and more found my self almost impossible to get angry on people, even if they are totally ignorant ... it makes me feel sad and silent, but anger is not any more so projected on them, or at least if it is shortly, I know it is just more about me forgetting myself ...

 

[Deleted member 11729]

yea ...

( but .... when it hurts a lot it is hard to talk .... when it is over it hurts to "remember" it again )

Yeah, that's true and sometimes before you know it, something else comes along...

yea, so true ...and then when hard time comes, I just login here, in this place to rest my soul ... ;)

the mastering of our self is the most delicate virtue of all, as soon as we think we got it, here it is - a new one, to trick us again ... but with knowledge we can recognize it, and decide to take steps to polish the instrument more and more and more ... i think those words shall be at every primary school ... I am asking myself, how world will be a different place, if at least 10% of just from cognitive psychology, will be applied already in kindergardens! ...

 

[Cleo]

Came across this, which I think is from the 'Dear Universe' book by Yolo Akili, and thought it was very true, something to remember for sure, and maybe even a motto for this forum.

Remember: Oppression thrives off isolation. Connection is the only thing that can save you.

Remember: Oppression thrives on superficiality. Honesty about your struggles is the key to your liberation.

Remember: Your story can help save someone's life. Your silence contributes to someone else's struggle. Speak so we all can be free. Love so we all can be liberated. The moment is now. We need you.

Oppression would also thrive when one is disconnected from one's own feelings -- it can be a very common occurence in this day and age of forced schedules, forced ideas, forced thoughts and forced feelings. What better way to access feeling than to interact with others on a daily basis? However it's not as clear-cut as it seems due to our own programming and false beliefs, we sometimes tend to allow other's feelings to override ours. Drowned out in the soup of the feelings of others and various environmental toxicants, people with thin boundaries tend to take longer to identify their own feelings and learn how to express them authentically, constantly mired in self-doubt, self-negation or the opposite, self-importance and an inflated sense of self.

Good points...the difficulty of opening up and sharing one's problems for all the various reasons..I know for me I have experienced this especially when I was newer to the forum. Even now. It use to stop me from sharing. Something like writers block but worse, maybe the frequency fence.. Then, after reaching out...the programs that can activate... Anyway, by making the effort-even if stumbling along the way, there's always something to be learned/gained by it I think. Even if to find out it's considered noise :/ Hmm starting to wonder if there's a thread dedicated to this very topic of 'networking.'

 

[Adaryn]

Thank you Joe for the reminder, which perfectly reflects the values of this forum and what it's trying to achieve.

I really like the third point:

Remember: Your story can help save someone's life. Your silence contributes to someone else's struggle. Speak so we all can be free. Love so we all can be liberated. The moment is now. We need you.

Sometimes it's hard to share because we feel it'd be selfish to do it, or that we'd do it to get pity (ie: our motivations for sharing are "not clean"). But maybe it's the opposite: not sharing because of those reasons is actually selfish, and just a narrative in order to avoid giving of oneself. Who knows if sharing about our struggles - however petty they might seem to us - might not help someone else "out there" who's been struggling with the same kind of things?
One thing's sure, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. But hey, how easily we "forget" sometimes…

 

[Joe]

Fear of opening up is REALLY common, but what's behind it? Wrong beliefs usually, which is a limitation of knowledge and understanding. So by pushing ahead and finding courage to open up to others (to the right people of course), we objectively prove to ourselves that our beliefs are wrong, and in the process we actively "rewire" our brains and really learn something valuable. It's certainly a worthwhile endeavor.

 

[Learner]

I've also come across the same thing some days ago and was immediately reminded of the forum and its networking aspect. Glad you brought this quote up here, Joe :)

I think, opening up and connecting is initially fearful as we don't know what may come out of this. Especially if we had negative experiences of doing so in the past, when we were met by rejection, ridicule, not been taken serious or other hurtful behaviors. Or if we have fear of the feedback which may be offered to us (at least in my case) - how it might be perceived etc. But this is internally considerate, because if we don't share about ourselves (i.e. opening up) we deprive others of the opportunity to help us (which helps them also) and silent readers to find something helpful in our story, in what we share, as well. Sometimes I think opening up equals a super effort, and for me the thought of taking a cold shower in the morning and in winter times comes to mind. You have to overcome yourself very much, but in the end you find it turned out beneficial.

FWIW

 

[1984]

I've also come across the same thing some days ago and was immediately reminded of the forum and its networking aspect. Glad you brought this quote up here, Joe :)

I think, opening up and connecting is initially fearful as we don't know what may come out of this. Especially if we had negative experiences of doing so in the past, when we were met by rejection, ridicule, not been taken serious or other hurtful behaviors. Or if we have fear of the feedback which may be offered to us (at least in my case) - how it might be perceived etc. But this is internally considerate, because if we don't share about ourselves (i.e. opening up) we deprive others of the opportunity to help us (which helps them also) and silent readers to find something helpful in our story, in what we share, as well. Sometimes I think opening up equals a super effort, and for me the thought of taking a cold shower in the morning and in winter times comes to mind. You have to overcome yourself very much, but in the end you find it turned out beneficial.

FWIW

Great summarization, Learner. Not sure it could be better said. This part sums it up nicely:

Sometimes I think opening up equals a super effort, and for me the thought of taking a cold shower in the morning and in winter times comes to mind. You have to overcome yourself very much, but in the end you find it turned out beneficial.

 

[petite femme]

For sure! We are all here to learn! Sometimes, when we struggle to share, it's because we are being subjective, thats what we do when we are caught up in the emotional center! Pushing through that struggle, in itself, can be a learning experience! It provokes thought and a push to be more objective! It is safe to assume, that there is someone else who has experienced what you are feeling and can offer some insight through their own experiences! We are, of course, all unique. But, we often face very similar struggles in our day to day.
Like, for instance, I too have been dealing with sadness lately. It is very uplifting just to read that a lot of others here have been feeling the same way. Just a sense of "I'm not alone", is very uplifting.
Thanks to all who participated, and thank you Joe!!!

 

[T.C.]

Fear of opening up is REALLY common, but what's behind it? Wrong beliefs usually, which is a limitation of knowledge and understanding.

I think one way a perfection program can manifest is in projecting it onto other members here - for me anyway. Then the fear of opening up comes from a fear of rejection: if I admit I have a problem with something, I'm not meeting the standards set by those who are 'stronger' than me - i.e., more perfect. But that in itself is a limitation of knowledge and understanding of the other members here and what the forum really is and how it works. Because the only prerequisite for participation is the desire to change for the better. Paraphrasing the C's: You don't have to already be 'there' in order to 'get it'.

So by pushing ahead and finding courage to open up to others (to the right people of course), we objectively prove to ourselves that we our beliefs are wrong, and in the process we actively "rewire" our brains and really learn something valuable. It's certainly a worthwhile endeavor.

Yes, and it rewires beliefs that we didn't know we had, which is the reason a network is so important in the first place.

 

[lilyalic]

Fear of opening up is REALLY common, but what's behind it? Wrong beliefs usually, which is a limitation of knowledge and understanding. So by pushing ahead and finding courage to open up to others (to the right people of course), we objectively prove to ourselves that we our beliefs are wrong, and in the process we actively "rewire" our brains and really learn something valuable. It's certainly a worthwhile endeavor.

Thanks for sharing this Joe, I seen it on FB the other day and really liked it. I actually have it written on my wall now.
I actually remember how many people I've spoken to, who feel as though their problems and issues don't matter, they're pathetic, it's not worth "burdening" someone else with their issues. This has literally happened with anyone I've ever got into deep conversations with.

I think it's difficult for people to open up, mainly because of the lack of people who will listen. So they'll be thinking "my issues aren't worth talking about" - then that will be confirmed by the lack of attention they get when actually talking about them. I think even practicing to be more externally considerate to other people in general can help a whole lot. I'm talking about people who aren't involved in the Work specifically, but the whole fear of opening up is really sad. I know folks on here even have it, personally I have it a whole bunch.

I think one way a perfection program can manifest is in projecting it onto other members here - for me anyway. Then the fear of opening up comes from a fear of rejection: if I admit I have a problem with something, I'm not meeting the standards set by those who are 'stronger' than me - i.e., more perfect. But that in itself is a limitation of knowledge and understanding of the other members here and what the forum really is and how it works. Because the only prerequisite for participation is the desire to change for the better. Paraphrasing the C's: You don't have to already be 'there' in order to 'get it'.

Yeah that's the same for me, the fear of rejection. That part of the quote "Your silence contributes to someone else's struggle. Speak so we can all be free. Love so we can all be liberated. The moment is now, we need you" - recently in my job, I met a really nice girl and she really is super nice. She's into "The Secret" and all that, but many times she's tried to tell me an issue of some kind, but came back with a "I'm being stupid aren't I?" and I've always reassured her. I found that even opening up to her, as much as I could, really did help her open up further without the fear.

 

[placematt]

much truth in this. Thanks for sharing Joe. I see a huge relation to this when i find myself disassociating in life and i further isolate myself from this forum. Its all connected. Again many thanks for sharing!