Soul, genes, karma and learning 3D lessons

[ScioAgapeOmnis]

I agree with much of what you said, but 'the devil is in the details' and it is good to be aware of potential pitfalls.

Many or even most intimate relationships seem to develop unhealthy codependency patterns, as people expect their partner to make them happy and fulfilled - instead of healing themselves and finding the deeper connection within. It is from that place that giving and receiving love is natural.

Being loved by someone also cannot really heal our trauma, only our own self-love (or divine love from the Higher Self) can do that.

Most of the time, exactly the opposite seems to happen: the emotional wounds get temporarily 'filled' by receiving love from the partner, but that does not heal the wound or trauma. That is also the main reason why breakups can hurt so much: all the hurting wounds no longer get 'filled' from the outside.

I tend to think that an intimate relationship rests on two pillars and both partners need to be able to work on themselves, instead of falling into the usual toxic STS dynamics of codependency, projection, narcissism, etc.

Which is not say that intimate relationships should be avoided (like monks used to do), quite the opposite. But it does take courage and a lot discernment and knowledge to navigate one. Especially considering that there are forces which can apparently do things like insert OPs as potential 'desirable partners' in our lives in order to sidetrack us.

Agree with everything you said, and very good point about OP's. I guess you'd have to be going into a relationship with a certain, I don't know what word I'm looking for - intention, predisposition, understanding? I guess the caveat is that relationships could make things worse or be helpful depending on the person.

Some people are better served being alone until they can utilize a relationship in a way that uplifts both people. Otherwise it could just add to your problems and make you resentful of relationships in general, or the opposite sex.

I guess it's kinda similar to this forum right? Some people come here and have a blowout and they would've been better off not showing up at all because at least they were "neutral" about the forum before showing up, and now they "hate" it or whatever. But for others this place is a blessing. It all depends on the person.

And thinking about it, maybe if I was never a member here and wasn't exposed to all the concepts, I may not be able to have the right mindset to properly navigate a healthy relationship and keep the compass needle pointed north at all times, especially during the hard and trying periods. The principles learned from the C's and the Work do seem to be very helpful to keep yourself grounded and not get lost in subjectivity and STS mindset.

And I suppose it's this way with everything - they say if 2 people are doing drugs together, the best thing for them is to break up. Because if one tries to quit, the other one will drag them back in, and vice versa. They rarely decide to quit at the same time, which makes it almost impossible for either one of them to succeed. Conversely, if 2 people are in a healthy relationship and are self-aware, then they can act as mirrors for each other and greatly contribute to each other's development above and beyond what either could do alone.