Looking at Ark's Quantum Quirks today, perhaps this will cheer you up. Got this in my email today.
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One
night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his
reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she would
go to Italy to secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child
support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know
when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him
a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for
the child support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey,"
she said, "you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it
to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife obeyed and watched as
her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:
"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
"Send extra sauce."