Subtle changes

[Think]

Be careful not to be lulled into some false sense of protection provided by the readings, I think the real work only begins when you have to actually put in practice everything you've read and learned so far.

I am a bit puzzled though by your comment on projecting your new level of awareness onto others and the environment ?
What do you mean by that ?
And how does this protect you factually ?

Hi Tigersoap, all.

Thanks for your replies. Apologies for the delay in responding.
The projection of my new level of awareness manifests itself through my responses to others and the environment. I.e. I respect free will, this is not something that I consciously did before starting to read the Wave series. At the same time, I do not allow others to impose their will unto me, unless it is necessary for my survival.

Kenlee put it perfectly, quote:

“A sobering and empowering level of awareness” is a really good way of phrasing it. I have noticed this. It’s sobering insofar as there is a sense of ‘waking up’ from this new, powerful information and empowering insofar as the greater awareness from this waking up offers a certain level of protection (from the action of the General Law that reacts from this to put us ‘back in line’) that comes from levels of consciousness that I am not fully conscious of but, nevertheless, the awareness makes a connection with other levels of reality within myself (or at least it seems that way) and I sometimes get the impression that 'something flows' from one level to the other because of this connection.

An example:

(1) Projection onto others and environment
Two weeks ago, I was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt by black uniformed, brainwasched brit cops who followed me with flashing lights and sirens, as if I'd committed a bank robbery. To make a long story short, I did not accept their ticket, as no crime had been committed, no victim -- no crime. The cops were baffled by my "attitude", and I refused to answer any of their probing questions. They finally let me go, after checking for warrants, insurance, car details -- the lot. A pretty humiliating experience I have to say. I have yet to receive a summons to their fraudulent court, which I will handle when the time comes (I have a feeling the cops did not bother -- we will see.) One could say, it was stupid of me, risking court in lieu of a ticket. I understand that, and I decided to wear a set belt going forward, for I need to pick my battles carefully. However, I do not regret standing up to these people. I asked them how they could sleep at night.

(2)
I live with my partner, who is sooo mainstream that we are growing further apart with every passing day. She has a now adult daughter, who I classify as a Psychopath. She ticks all the boxes, and has, in the past, been able to suck my energy dry that it would make me miserable every minute of the day. I do not allow her to manipulate me anymore. This is projection of my awareness onto her as in: "Hey, you can try, but I will not accept your manipulations." My partner, as her mother, is devoted to help her (unsolicited), that I believe may have contributed to her daughter's psychopathic behavior. Although I tried to explain it to my partner many times before, it is like running against a wall. So, I retreated into supporting my partner to when she needs my help. My main point here is this: As I have blocked this energy leak, I am retaining my energy and use it in ways I was not for long time. I started to work out, walk the dogs daily, working on myself (meditation, breathing, learning), starting new projects, etc.

(3)
A week ago, a social worker visited my partner to help her in matters concerning her daughter. After two hours, the social worker left, not having completed the tasks she came to do. Instead, we talked about psychopathic behavior in children, other dimensions, as she called it, alternative healing, poltergeist phenomena, you name it. We ended up exchanging e-mails and I sent her a book list relevant to her interests.

Most importantly, I do not see myself as protected against attack, for all of us are potentially under attack from any angle, but it is awareness and knowledge that makes the likeliness of such attack to succeed less probable.

Interestingly enough, I just read the bit below yesterday for the first time.

Wave II, p 338

...
Q:(L) Is it true that being in the presence of such people, that one is under the influence of an energy, an emanation from them physically, that befuddles the mind and makes it almost impossible to think ones' way out of the situation?
A: It is the draining of the energy that befuddles the mind.
Q:(L) Where does this energy drain?
A: 4th density STS.
Q:(L) These people we are associated with with drain our energy from us and 4th density STS harverst it from them?
A: "They" do nothing!!! 4th density STS does it all through them! [...]
Lesson number 1: Always expect the attack.
Lesson number 2: Know the modes of same.
Lesson number 3: Know how to counteract same.

When you are under attack, expect the unexpected, if it is going to cause problems... But, if you expect it, you learn how to "head it off," thus neutralizing it. This is called vigilance, which is rooted in knowledge. And, what does knowledge do?
Q:(L) Protects! I guess that a person just has to come to the full realization that virtually everything that happens on the planet -- no exceptions -- is a symbol of some interaction of STS vs. STO energy at higher levels.
A: Yes, and for most, that is not as of yet realized. It must be part of a natural learning process.
...


So I wonder if my partners daughter is a reflection of my current inner state or if I am experiencing Myself-of-the-Past in the present, as part of my lesson, or both? I do not consider myself a psychopath, and I am careful not to drain other people's energy either consciously or unconsciously by virtue of application of the things that I learned before I "met" The Wave. But I do have behaved in similar ways, perhaps not as extreme as she is (and this admission is painful), until about eight years ago (a realization I just came to a couple of days ago), and this may be part of my lesson. (?)

Be well
Lars

 

[PepperFritz]

Hello Think.

There are a few things about your post that I find a little disturbing.

Your seat-belt story strikes me more as emotional self-indulgence than the kind of well-thought-out strategic thinking and behaviour that we associate with the Work. Although you were ostensibly acting "on principle", it seems to me it was more of a "venting" of the anger you are feeling as a result from your new-found awareness of certain realities -- the kind of venting that is not really productive or purposeful, and could potentially place you in unnecessary danger. I would suggest that you need to re-think how you respond to and interact with "authority figures" in future. It is not an aim of the Work to "stand up to" Petty Tyrants in a confrontational manner, but to use them as opportunities to develop discernment, self-discipline, and forebearance. (See the Cassiopaea Glossary entry on Petty Tyrants.)

While it is good that you are looking at creating effective strategies for dealing with people who are manipulative and energy-draining, I think we need to be careful about labelling all such difficult people as "psychopaths". Your partner's daughter may have learned narcissistic behaviour from her mother's over-attentiveness, as you suggest. But your suggestion that your partner "contributed to her psychpathic behaviour" reveals a lack of understanding about psychopaths -- i.e., they are born, not made, via bad parenting. Perhaps obtaining objective feedback from the forum on another person's behaviour would be a good first step, in order to find out whether what you are perceiving is accurate.

What you have written about your partner strikes me as somewhat lacking in compassion and External Consideration. Your story about the social worker's visit is rather jarring. You relate it as though it was a very positive experience -- which, no doubt, it was for you. But you seem to have lost sight of the fact that the social worker was there to help your partner. It sounds as though you "hijacked" the conversation to such an extent that there was no time left for the social worker to do that. It reveals serious Internal Consideration on your part.

You indicate that "I retreated into supporting my partner to when she needs my help". Can you explain what you mean here? How, exactly, do you determine "when she needs [your] help"?

You also state that "I wonder if my partner's daughter is a reflection of my current inner state or if I am experiencing Myself-of-the-Past in the present, as part of my lesson, or both?" Could you expand a little on this? In what way could your partner's daughter be "a reflection of [your] current inner state"? You seem to almost be talking about her as a dream persona rather than someone with her own objective reality. Or perhaps I'm misunderstanding what you're trying to say?

Finally, you are misunderstanding and misusing the term "projection". It is not a good thing to "project" your inner state onto others. Within the context of the Work that suggests that you are imposing your subjectivity onto your environment and therefore are failing to perceive that environment objectively. I think what you trying to express was the idea that your new-found "awareness" has been changing the way in which you are perceiving and dealing with others -- yes?

 

[Think]

Hello Pepperfritz,

Thank you for your thoughtful response though the last thing I want is to disturb anyone with sharing. After all, I am learning, and I would hope I am in the right place. I have no one else to talk to, to share my thoughts, and to learn through conversation in this forum.

Seat belt incident
Indeed, I decided to choose my battles more carefully going forward. I always have been a rebel toward "authorities". The principle on which I am NOT acting puts me into constant conflict (at work, at home, in the store, at the gas station, dealing with others) and tears me apart. It just felt right to refuse the ticket - though it did not feel right to challenge them by not wearing a seat belt. Lesson learnt.

Psychopathic daughter
Let me rephrase: My partner may have encouraged and excused her psychopathic behavior. I admit, I do not know much about psychopaths, and Political Ponerology (which is on hold) is my first read in that direction. My partner may in fact been supporting her psychopathic traits, for she does it out of pity and love to her daughter. Point taken though - I will need to study the subject further.

Partner
The impression of lack of compassion may come through the disappointment not to have someone who is willing to understand, or to question reality. Nevertheless, I love her.

I would often tell my partner what I thought she should do with regard to her daughter, how she should handle her daughter's misbehavior, how to deal with the countless incidents, and often I would tell her what she should NOT do. This was not always well received, as one can imagine. Though I felt I had a right to offer my solutions, as I was affected for the last eight years (since I met my partner and her daughter), I now only tell her that I am here when she needs me (which I am), but staying otherwise out of the matters concerning her daughter. Help can consisted of anything from moral and mental support to my partner, to not reacting to her daughters abusive outbreaks (to not say anything, which would make matters worse) to being there when she needs me.

Social Worker
It was actually HER, who got the most pleasure out of this. The discussion went naturally on from subject to subject. I was surprised to have met someone that was open to alternative explanation, per se, particularly someone working in government. The task that she came to do was completed via e-mail and on time, and I assisted my partner in that.

Reflection of inner state
Not in a sense of a dream person at all, but part of the lesson. The daughter as a reflection of my current inner state (like Laura's pea soup) -- or as part of a lesson to see myself in the past, as to bring how STS behavior looks like up close and personal, into my awareness.

I am not projecting my inner state onto others. Perhaps, you are correct, I am using the wrong word in this context. A better way of saying this perhaps would be: I am observing with heightened awareness. So, yes, my new found awareness has been changing the way in which I was perceiving and dealing with others.