Stevie Argyl
Jedi Master
Keit said:Stevie Argyll said:How confident are you that your observations of a personality gleaned from reading a poster will be correct.?
Do you margin error?
Do you hold in mind that previous conclusions that you make become the basis for future conclusions?
Do you hold in mind that once you have concluded and then move to testing via meeting that previous conclusions may influence the perceptions/conclusions/projections made in the meeting?
In other words are you careful what you conclude and hold in mind that you may well be wrong and have to modify, or do you say 'I understand X, they are like this'
Hi Stevie,
I don't know you in person, and it is highly probable that both of us are very different people with their own set of life experiences. But I do recognize a similar pattern, where you (or part of you that is in control of your actions at the moment) use indirect (and thus, dishonest and manipulative) methods to express what you really feel. I did things like this also toward Anart among many other people. The rest are just intellectualized justifications to disguise what is going on inside you on an emotional level.
How about at least being honest with yourself and admitting that you are angry? Angry at Anart for exposing you like this? I am not saying exposing your predator, because at the moment, and until you make a conscious choice to differentiate the two, you are quite interconnected, especially through your actions. Don't go there, Stevie. All this explaining and intellectualizing is just BS that acts against you and causes you to lash out toward others, Anart in this case, instead of recognizing the pain, the emotion, and giving yourself an opportunity to become a little bit more real.
You wrote:
Say just now, I am sitting here and say I take this personally, the accusation that I had of posting a manipulative post. If I got upset and feeling arose and the blood pumped I could rush straight into posting insults , accusations etc - That is an attempt at 'self calming' I would post and post to discharge the emotional energy that my system couldnt handle.
As Kniall mentioned, even if you wrote it in conditional tense, it is also my observation that this is exactly what happened. You took it personally. You were and are angry. And instead of sharing it in a direct way by asking Anart how dare she making such statements without really knowing you, you chose to project the pain and make a manipulative attempt in hurting her, even if oh so indirectly by presenting it as an intellectual debate out of concern toward others.
And no, I am not attacking you or completely sure that this is what is going on inside you, just make an observation based on experience because this was (and probably still is ) exactly my mop. Regardless of Anart or anyone else toward whom you direct this anger, do you realize that you are your worst enemy and mostly hurt yourself here? It doesn't mean that you are not a kind person with good qualities. But you chose a manipulative way to dump your emotions on others instead of owning them and giving yourself an opportunity to become whole. It doesn't matter if Anart or someone else were right or wrong, what matters is how you choose to respond to it.
edit:spelling
Thanks Keit
I don't take your post as an attack and I acknowledge your admission that you are not completely sure. And I know that we can only speak of and judge others in so far as our own lived experience allows. And I do not for a minute doubt the sincerity of people desire to help. I am 100% convinced that peoples posting here is 100% sincere in desire to help. That is not an issue.