Gimpy
The Living Force
On my 60th birthday, I got a gift certificate from my
wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a shaman living on a nearby
reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After
being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to the shaman,
and wondered what I was in for.
The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say
'1-2-3. When you do that, you will be more manly than you have ever been in your
life, and you will be able to perform as long as you want." I was
encouraged. As he walked away, I turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from
working?" ''Your partner must say '1-2-3-4," the shaman responded.
"But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
I was eager to see if it worked. I went home, showered,
shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited Cara to join me
in the bedroom. When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, I was the manliest of men. Cara was excited and began throwing
off her clothes. And then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our
sentences with a preposition
wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a shaman living on a nearby
reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After
being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to the shaman,
and wondered what I was in for.
The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say
'1-2-3. When you do that, you will be more manly than you have ever been in your
life, and you will be able to perform as long as you want." I was
encouraged. As he walked away, I turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from
working?" ''Your partner must say '1-2-3-4," the shaman responded.
"But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
I was eager to see if it worked. I went home, showered,
shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited Cara to join me
in the bedroom. When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, I was the manliest of men. Cara was excited and began throwing
off her clothes. And then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our
sentences with a preposition
