THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD .
Part 1
The following are a collection of mistakes from exam papers. The
standards are Form 1 to Matric.
The Inabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in
the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah
is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas
of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built
pyramids in the shape of a huge tri-angular cube. The Primads are
a range of mountains between France and Spain.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of
the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
One of their children, Cain, once asked "Am I my brother's son?".
God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob,
son of Isaac, stole his brother's birthmark. Jacob was a Patriach
who brought up his twelve sons to be Patriachs, but they did not take
to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.
Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses
led them to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is
bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up to
Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king
skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a
race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of
David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.
Without the Greeks we wouldn't have a history. The Greeks invented
three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also
had myths. A myth is a female moth: one of the myths says that the
mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became
intollerable. Achilles appears in the Iliad, by Homer. Homer also
wrote the Oditty, in which Penelope was the last hardship that
Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by
Homer but by another man by that name. Socrates was the famous Greek
teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him,
Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits
and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath.
The govenment of Athens was democratic because the people took the
law into their own hands.
There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that
they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbours were doing.
When they fought with the Persians, the Greeks were outnumbered
because the Persians had more men. Eventually, the Romans conquered
the Greeks.
History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place
for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their
hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul.
The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to
be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor
subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
____________________________
PART 2.
In midevil times, most of the people were alliterate. The greatest
writer was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote
literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow
through an apple while standing on his son's head.
The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote "Paradise Lost".
Then his wife died and he wrote "Paradise regained".
Then came the middle ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames; King
Arthur lived in the age of shivery, Magna Carta provided that no man
should be hanged twice for the same offence.
Henry V111 found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his
knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "virgin queen". As a Queen she was a
success. When Elizabeth exposed herself in front of the troops they
all shouted "hurrah". Then her navy went out and defeated the
Spanish Armadillo.
The greatest writer was William Shakespeare. He never made any
money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived at Windsor
with his merry wives. In one of Shakespeare's plays, Hamlet
rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy.
In another play Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the
king by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet were an heroic
couplet.
Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America
while cursing about the Atlantic. When the Pilgrims landed at
Plymouth Rock, they saw Indian squabs carrying porpoises on their
backs. Many of the Indians were killed, which proved fatal to them.
George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time because he was
the Father of our Country. Then the Constitution of the United States
was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the
people enjoyed the rite to keep bare arms. Abraham Lincoln became
America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and
he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When
Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said "In
onion there is strength" Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg
Address while travelling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of
an envelope. He also freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation
Proclamation and the 14th Amendment gave the ex Negroes citizenship.
But the Clue-Clux-Clan would torcher and lynch the ex Negroes and
other innocent victims. It claimed it represented law and odor.
On the night of April 14th, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and
got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show.
They believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane
actor. This ruined Booth's carreer.
Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented
Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were
two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone
to Boston carrying all his clothing in his pocket and a loaf of bread
under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing two cats
backwards and declaring, "A horse divided against itself cannot
stand". Franklin died in 1790, and is still dead.
----------------------------------
PART THREE.
Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time.
Voltare invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.
Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It was chiefly noticeable in
Autumn, when apples are falling off the trees.
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Guttenburg
invented the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of
blood. Sir Walter Rally invented cigarettes and Sir Francis Drake
circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
The Renaissance was an age in which individuals felt the value of
their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at
Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death,
being excommunicated by a bull.
The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened. The
Revolution began when pheasants stormed the Bagatelle. During the
Napoleonic wars, the crowned heads of Europe trembled in their shoes.
Then the Spanish gorillas came down from the hills and nipped at
Napoleon's flanks. Napoleon became ill with a bladder problem and
was very tense and unrestrained. He wanted a hair to inherit his
power but as Josephine was a baroness she could not have children.
Bach was the most famous composer in all the world and so was Handel.
Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was
very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present time. Beethoven
wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote
loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was
calling him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died of this.
The 19th century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts.
The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to sprint
up.
Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of
a hundred men. Samuel Morse invented a code for telepathy. Louis
Pasture discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturist
who wrote "The Organ of the Species". Madam Curie discovered radium.
Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
The sun never sets on the British Umpire because the British Empire
is in the east and the sun sets in the west. Queen Victoria was the
longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her reclining
years and finally the end of her life were exemplatpry of great
personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
THE END.
Part 1
The following are a collection of mistakes from exam papers. The
standards are Form 1 to Matric.
The Inabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in
the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah
is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas
of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built
pyramids in the shape of a huge tri-angular cube. The Primads are
a range of mountains between France and Spain.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of
the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
One of their children, Cain, once asked "Am I my brother's son?".
God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob,
son of Isaac, stole his brother's birthmark. Jacob was a Patriach
who brought up his twelve sons to be Patriachs, but they did not take
to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.
Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses
led them to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is
bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up to
Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king
skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a
race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of
David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.
Without the Greeks we wouldn't have a history. The Greeks invented
three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also
had myths. A myth is a female moth: one of the myths says that the
mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became
intollerable. Achilles appears in the Iliad, by Homer. Homer also
wrote the Oditty, in which Penelope was the last hardship that
Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by
Homer but by another man by that name. Socrates was the famous Greek
teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him,
Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits
and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath.
The govenment of Athens was democratic because the people took the
law into their own hands.
There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that
they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbours were doing.
When they fought with the Persians, the Greeks were outnumbered
because the Persians had more men. Eventually, the Romans conquered
the Greeks.
History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place
for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their
hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul.
The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to
be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor
subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
____________________________
PART 2.
In midevil times, most of the people were alliterate. The greatest
writer was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote
literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow
through an apple while standing on his son's head.
The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote "Paradise Lost".
Then his wife died and he wrote "Paradise regained".
Then came the middle ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames; King
Arthur lived in the age of shivery, Magna Carta provided that no man
should be hanged twice for the same offence.
Henry V111 found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his
knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "virgin queen". As a Queen she was a
success. When Elizabeth exposed herself in front of the troops they
all shouted "hurrah". Then her navy went out and defeated the
Spanish Armadillo.
The greatest writer was William Shakespeare. He never made any
money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived at Windsor
with his merry wives. In one of Shakespeare's plays, Hamlet
rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy.
In another play Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the
king by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet were an heroic
couplet.
Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America
while cursing about the Atlantic. When the Pilgrims landed at
Plymouth Rock, they saw Indian squabs carrying porpoises on their
backs. Many of the Indians were killed, which proved fatal to them.
George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time because he was
the Father of our Country. Then the Constitution of the United States
was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the
people enjoyed the rite to keep bare arms. Abraham Lincoln became
America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and
he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When
Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said "In
onion there is strength" Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg
Address while travelling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of
an envelope. He also freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation
Proclamation and the 14th Amendment gave the ex Negroes citizenship.
But the Clue-Clux-Clan would torcher and lynch the ex Negroes and
other innocent victims. It claimed it represented law and odor.
On the night of April 14th, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and
got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show.
They believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane
actor. This ruined Booth's carreer.
Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented
Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were
two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone
to Boston carrying all his clothing in his pocket and a loaf of bread
under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing two cats
backwards and declaring, "A horse divided against itself cannot
stand". Franklin died in 1790, and is still dead.
----------------------------------
PART THREE.
Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time.
Voltare invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.
Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It was chiefly noticeable in
Autumn, when apples are falling off the trees.
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Guttenburg
invented the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of
blood. Sir Walter Rally invented cigarettes and Sir Francis Drake
circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
The Renaissance was an age in which individuals felt the value of
their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at
Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death,
being excommunicated by a bull.
The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened. The
Revolution began when pheasants stormed the Bagatelle. During the
Napoleonic wars, the crowned heads of Europe trembled in their shoes.
Then the Spanish gorillas came down from the hills and nipped at
Napoleon's flanks. Napoleon became ill with a bladder problem and
was very tense and unrestrained. He wanted a hair to inherit his
power but as Josephine was a baroness she could not have children.
Bach was the most famous composer in all the world and so was Handel.
Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was
very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present time. Beethoven
wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote
loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was
calling him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died of this.
The 19th century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts.
The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to sprint
up.
Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of
a hundred men. Samuel Morse invented a code for telepathy. Louis
Pasture discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturist
who wrote "The Organ of the Species". Madam Curie discovered radium.
Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
The sun never sets on the British Umpire because the British Empire
is in the east and the sun sets in the west. Queen Victoria was the
longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her reclining
years and finally the end of her life were exemplatpry of great
personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
THE END.
