Things I learned in Florida

domi

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Been there but haven't lived there. Many of the below things mentioned ring true.

THINGS I LEARNED IN FLORIDA...
1) A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2) There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in FLORIDA .
3) There are 10,000 types of spiders, and all 10,000 of them live in Spring Hill , FL.
4) If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5) "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.
6) It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.
7) "Jaw-P?" means, "Did y'all go to the bathroom?"
8) People actually grow and eat okra.
9) "Fixinto" is one word.
10) There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper...
11) Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two.
12) Backwards and forwards means, "I know everythin' bout yo
13) You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see...
14) You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16) You measure distance in minutes.
15) You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
16) All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
17) You know what a "Dawg" is.
18) You carry jumper cables in your car - for your own car.
19) You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete , Tabasco and ketchup.
20) The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football...
21) You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
22) You find 100 degrees "a bit warm."
23) You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
24) Going to Walmart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Walmartin" or "off to Wally World.."
25) You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as g ood hog killin' weather.
26) Fried catfish is the other white meat.
27) We don't need no dang Driver's Ed...
If our mama says we can drive, we can drive dag-nabbit.
28)Palmetto bugs are nuclear infected giant flying cockroaches that get in your house no matter what you do!
29) You understand these jokes and forward them to your FLORIDA friends and those who just wish they were from FLORIDA !!!!!
 
It's all true and even more that you would never believe. I was 10 years old before I knew DamnYankee was two words.
 
domi said:
23) You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

Had to laugh when I saw this one, because there's a New England equivalent:

The four seasons in New England are Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Potholes.
 
Wisconsin equivalent: Their are two seasons in Wisconsin - Winter and construction. :cool:
 
endescent said:
The four seasons in New England are Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Potholes.

Those are exactly the same seasons for Québec at the exception that the 15 of july it is summer time. ;D
 
domi said:
3) There are 10,000 types of spiders, and all 10,000 of them live in Spring Hill , FL.

Doesn't sound like a nice place to live if you suffer from arachnophobia! :D
 
Doesn't sound like a nice place to live if you suffer from arachnophobia! :D

nope... I used to live in central Fla. When I moved back up to the great white north, I vowed never to live where spiders get so big you can darn near hear them walk. Yep. Those big ole spiders will surely scare the BeeGeeBus outta you.!.!.! I don't care how "clean" you keep your house, they WILL get inside... That's why many have pet iguanas & chameleons, or some bug eating varmint...

http://bugguide.net/node/view/18386
http://rkemper.blogspot.com/2008/06/southwest-florida-spiders.html
 
Went to Miami, if that's Florida. Not hill in sight. Flatter than a pancake ( buckwheat please). The only way to gain in altitude was to climb freeway over pass or climb a stairwell in a high raise. Muggy, humid, and long days, with lots of sun. Water every where. Lots of Cuban food, as to the west coast there was Mexican food. Lots of palm tress but not a redwood in sight. Didn't see any UFOs but aim not sure if i was looking either. Keys were interesting with boats every where in the sea. Was nice place to visit, but glad to move on.
 
Wow! Florida and Texas have something in common - snakes and spiders!

Actually, I got a real chuckle as my grandmother lived on the edge of Florida and she taught me many of the things on the list! Like iced tea. I think I have always drank iced tea. and "mashing" buttons,...I could go on, but why repeat the whole list?
 
M.A.O. said:
Went to Miami, if that's Florida. Not hill in sight. Flatter than a pancake ( buckwheat please). The only way to gain in altitude was to climb freeway over pass or climb a stairwell in a high raise. Muggy, humid, and long days, with lots of sun. Water every where. Lots of Cuban food, as to the west coast there was Mexican food. Lots of palm tress but not a redwood in sight. Didn't see any UFOs but aim not sure if i was looking either. Keys were interesting with boats every where in the sea. Was nice place to visit, but glad to move on.

This is the "short-short" version of Florida, LOL. "Just the facts ma'am." :lol:
 
It's all true: you think the spiders are bad? Heck, I protected them because they had to get REALLY big to eat the giant, flying cockroaches!

Snakes, alligators, mosquitoes, heat, humidity, flat landscape, neon sky... really, a strange place to grow up.
 
I'm from Alabama and I've never seen anything like Florida :) I lived in a little town outside of Orlando for about a year and it was weird. Some magic yellow-green lizard would seem to just appear in the shower ceiling sometimes looking at me. The air outside literally smelled a sweet orange smell (because of the groves and processing).

I walked outside my apartment early one morning, and there were gazillions of these little bitty frogs that had appeared and covered the ground and one side of the building.

And, I thought a "love bug" was a Volkswagen Beetle named "Herbie" until I moved to FL.
 
two more:

"j'eet yet?" means did you eat yet?

and the response:

"ah'ait" means "yes I have eaten"
 
Well, I am not from Florida, but this one is amusing; and I really learned a lot about Florida here. :)
 
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